Forgotten
by DMartinez
Summary: Sequel to Lost, Found. The big battle went down, but no one can quite remember what it was and all sorts of folk start popping up. The boys are back in Battle Creek and Claire's life is different now.
1. Chapter 1

Author: DMartinez  
Email: dmarttx  
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Kripke and the WB, CW. No infringement intended.  
Rating: M  
Category: Supernatural; Dean, John  
Summary: Sequel to Lost, Found. Big battle went down and everyone's picking up the pieces and finding alive folk all over.

Author's note: I was not going to post this until finished but then I started over and then tonight was the Finale and I went a different direction so... bear that in mind. Had I known, I would have only had to tweak it a little

* * *

Forgotten

Claire Reid sighed as she slid to a stop at the base of the hill. She was getting too old for this shit. She took a deep breath and began dismembering the carcass of a nasty werewolf. She dug a pit and shoved the pieces in. It was on fire a bit later. She kept the flames low and hot until she could cover the bones with dirt. She exited the woods and relaxed. She never realized how tense she was in the trees until she had pavement under her feet. So many years later and that damned Pixie still haunted her. She found a truck stop off the highway with a set of showers. She rinsed off and found fresh clothes in the bottom of her duffel. She wrung out what she could of her hunting clothes and shoved them in a plastic bag for a more thorough washing when she got home.

Then she was back in the car with a cup of coffee. She hit town just as the sun was coming up. She picked up more coffee and donuts before pulling into the two story house on Weinbach Ave. She let herself into the house. The living room was covered in bodies. Ben and his friends strewn everywhere and Erica half under the coffee table. She shook her head and slipped into the kitchen. Lisa Braeden looked up and smiled. "I wasn't expecting you until later."

"I missed my kid but she looks tuckered out and like she didn't miss me a bit."

"Well, she beat all the boys at a cartwheel contest, she bested all but Ben at a video game. She only whined for about 20 minutes when it was time for her bath but otherwise… she was a gem."

"Only for you." Claire groaned. "Donuts. Eat one before the boys wake up."

"Mommy?" Erica wandered in, bleary-eyed. She climbed onto Claire's lap without so much as opening her eyes.

She was getting too big to snuggle like this but Claire happily ate it up while she was able. Lisa sighed. "You know how long it's been since I could do that with Ben?"

"He's becoming so handsome and tall."

"Don't tell him. He's still got a huge crush on you." Lisa sipped her coffee and pulled a donut from the box. "What's the plan for today?"

"I think we'll go home and nap a bit and then run around town." Claire stroked Erica's hair. "How about you?"

"We have chores after all the boys go home." Lisa sighed. "I just know there's going to be a cupcake ground into the carpet or a slice of pizza under a cushion."

"Well, make him clean it. Only way he'll learn." Claire stood and let Erica slide to the floor. The little drama queen feigned death. "Come on. Get a donut and then we're going home."

"Mom… Ben was gonna make pancakes."

"No, he's not." Lisa assured her. "What is her fascination with pancakes?"

"An early childhood mostly spent in the IHOPs and Village Inns of the country."

"No Biggerson's?"

"They're too fluffy." Erica made a face.

"How can a pancake be too fluffy?"

"When you pour the syrup, they get spongy and then they get soggy." Erica explained. "I don't like mushy pancakes."

"Valid points." Lisa nodded and smiled. "Are you going to tell your mom the good news?"

Erica sat up and crossed her arms. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"What's the good news?" Claire looked from child to adult.

"Erica proposed to Ben last night. Ben swore he would wait for her to grow up or to change her mind."

"Engaged? You got engaged?" Claire exclaimed. "When is the wedding?"

"Mom!" Erica groaned. "I'm not old enough to get married."

"Then why did you propose?"

"Cause." Erica explained. "Ben is almost old enough to get married. There are girls at his school."

"Well, yes."

"Ugh." Erica made a face. "You didn't tell me there were girls in high school."

"There are girls at most schools." Claire sighed and watched Erica wilt back to the floor. "Why are you so sad? He said yes, didn't he?"

"He's too old and he's impatient."

"Says the nine year old trying to nail down a husband before she's got her first training bra."

"Mom! You can't say those words. There are boys here." Erica leapt off the floor.

"Come on, Bridezilla, time to go." Claire got Erica's bag and promised to see Lisa that evening. The ride home was full of questions about her hunt.

"Was it big? Can I come next time? Were you scared? Was it scared?" Erica kept up the questions until they were through the door. That's where she found Dean Winchester, bleeding on her kitchen floor. "Mom?"

"Dean?" Claire glanced around, reaching for the gun in the back of her pants.

"I'll be fine. Sorry. Had to crash. Sammy and Adam are in the bathroom getting patched up."

"Adam?" She shook her head.

"Our half-brother. I'll explain later." Dean heaved.

That's when Claire saw it. Dean was healing himself. "How are you doing that?"

"Long story." He shook his head. "I had a friend bring us here because… well… it's a blind spot."

"Yeah." She nodded. She turned to her daughter. "Go to your room."

"Mom."

"Go." Claire nudged her. She rushed to the sink to wet a towel and wipe some of the blood. "What happened?"

"I don't know. I know we were on a hunt. I know that it was big. I came to in a field, Sam and Adam were both bleeding…" Dean panted. "We got zapped just outside of town." Dean stared at her. "Why do you live here?"

"Making a life for myself." Claire paused. "You wanted me to keep an eye on her."

"I didn't think you'd stay."

"It's a nice town. I warded it against demons. It took a long time. Figured the effort… I have a daughter."

"I know." Dean nodded. "I have to get the car back."

"When you're healed." Claire shook her head. "The house is safe."

"From demons." Dean coughed and rose. "We need to be safe from Angels, too."

"What?"

"Later." He started drawing in his own blood on her wall.

* * *

TBC


	2. Chapter 1 - I took care of him

Chapter 1 – I took care of him.

* * *

Claire set the final stitch in Sam's shoulder. She was looking at Adam. He stared straight ahead and hadn't said a word. Sam hadn't either. Claire had seen Erica peeking around the corner but she hadn't come all the way down the stairs yet. Dean returned in stronger shape. "I got sigils on all the walls. No demon or angel will get in."

"What are you guys fighting?"

"Don't remember." Sam shook his head.

"What's with him?"

"Found him that way." Dean cleared his throat. "I'm told it happens when Angels use humans as vessels… or you know… you spend some time in the special place in hell."

"Angels… I can't wrap my head around that one."

"It gets easier. They're less like you imagine and more like every douchebag you've ever met with a mission from God… only… God's not pulling the strings anymore so what's the point." Dean stretched his hand. Claire watched the wound heal. "I'll explain later."

"You going somewhere?" She crossed her arms.

"Why are you still here?"

"You asked me to check up on them. I tried to check in. You guys went dark. I decided to stay."

"We did, didn't we." Dean winced.

"I'm not like you. I don't have the hunting friends that you have. I looked everywhere, you guys went off the grid." Claire lowered her voice. "She's talking about joining churches and just barely hasn't because of the massacres. I don't know what's going on out there but I'm keeping my daughter and your family safe."

Dean was shaking, gripping his arm. "They're not my family."

Sam started go after him but just let him go. Dean stormed out back. "Now, I don't know where he's going."

"Make yourself at home." Claire sighed. "I'm gonna check on my kid."

Erica was sitting on the stairs with her head stuck through the slats. She yanked her head back and ran up the stairs ahead of her mother. Claire looked around her daughter's room. She copied some of the marks she saw Dean put downstairs with her own blood and her daughter's pocket knife. Erica watched with wide eyes. "Mom?"

"Mom's friends are hurt. They need help. They're bringing trouble. I can feel it." Claire bandaged her hand with a sock and got busy putting together a go-bag. Sensible things went in the bag. Erica sat on the edge of her bed and watched. "You remember your lessons?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good." Claire took the gun out of her jeans and put it in her daughter's bag. She checked the window again and then kissed her daughter's head. "Mommy's going to get her bag together. If anything happens, you go to Lisa's house. Okay?"

"Okay." She fidgeted. "Do I call Uncle Peter in Madrid?"

Claire thought for a long moment. "Maybe. I'll let you know."

Claire left her daughter to put her own bag together. Essentials. All the stuff could stay. She had a bad feeling. Once her bag was together and in Erica's room, she tromped down the stairs to find her kitchen no longer bloody and all three men in the living room. Sam knelt in front of Adam with a flashlight. He looked back at them. "Still no pupil response."

"Adam!" Dean yelled in his ear, the kid didn't even blink. "Adam!"

"That's not working." Sam waved him off. Sam continued to wash the kid up, wipe dirt off his hands and face. Nothing, not even a twitch or an extra blink.

"So, explain?" Claire asked.

Dean paced. "It's all a little fuzzy."

"Let's start with…" Claire crossed her arms. "Why you went dark on me? Why did you send me to do a welfare check and then disappear before you could get a report?"

"I figured… I'd be dead… I didn't think." Dean shook his head. "Leviathan. You heard of them?"

"Something like it."

"That's why we went dark." Dean cleared his throat. "After Bobby… it was just… Then we were fighting angels and then… shit…"

Sam cleared his throat. "Dean…"

"I… have the mark of Cain." Dean rolled up his sleeve. "We've spent the last year or so trying to get rid of it but…"

"Wait?" Claire leaved over and grabbed a bible off the shelf. "As in… Cain."

"Yeah." Dean nodded. "It's… the biggest burden I've ever had and that's saying a lot. I remember… we were trying get rid of it… We… lured Death out and then…"

Sam blew out a breath. "I don't remember anything else, either." He ran his fingers through his hair. "I do remember waking up or… I was standing. I was moving when I realized I was… had forgotten something, what was I doing. I saw Dean. Then I saw Adam. We were all just… walking in circles…"

"Then Castiel showed up. Said he'd been looking for us everywhere. He couldn't find us because… we've got… sigils on our ribs." Dean shook his head. "But he found Adam because he was… looking for our blood. Said Crowley was looking for us, too."

"How did… nevermind." Sam shook his head.

"Castiel looked for people we knew, who would keep us safe. He couldn't find some, even though he knew where they were. So, he brought us here. I didn't realize where he was taking us until I looked at the mail on the table." He nodded to the foyer.

"So, Angels are real. Demons are after you. And your baby brother is a vegetable." She looked Adam over. "He's almost as pretty as you, Dean." She checked his pulse and had a look over him. "He's got the same intensity around the eyes as your dad, though. I'll bet he's a heartbreaker. What's that you said about him being a vessel?"

"He uh… died… about five or six years ago." Dean explained. "He's… physically 20 years old but…"

"He should be more like 25."

"What?" Sam broke in. "How do you know that?"

"John told me he had another son."

"He told you." Sam bit out. "He told you, some chippee he shacked up with but not his own children."

"Sam, shove it." Dean sighed heavily and ran a hand over his eyes.

"NO. Why did he tell her?" Sam shoved himself to his feet.

"Well, she wasn't just some chippee." Dean barked. "She held him together for nearly a year when I was deaf and amnesiac. Okay? She was mute. Maybe he figured he wouldn't have to worry about her telling anyone."

"He told me, to scare me away." Claire interrupted their fight. "To be frank, I was trying to seduce him and he was trying to get me to hang my noose around Dean. So he went for the big guns… his illegitimate child that he never saw but once in a blue moon. To keep me from getting ideas about me and him having a future. Okay? We done?"

Sam fumed. "Who the hell are you?"

"Dean's right. I took care of John after he saved my life. I took care of him without Dean. I took care of him when we found Dean… even though I was halfway out the door already. I took care of him while he drank himself into stupor after stupor over you and his wife and everything dark in the world. I took care of him. I devoted myself to him." Claire felt the heat rise to her face. "And I never even got a token "I love you" out of him. All I got was a torch to burn and…" She trailed off. "And a list of friends who all died on me but Dean and Bobby… but I guess Bobby's gone, too."

"I've died a few times since then." Dean admitted. He looked to his brother. "Dad was in love with her, man. He just… didn't want her to end up like Mom." Sam's face whipped around so fast, Dean thought he was going to break his neck. "I told you this. Dad was having nightmares about her on the ceiling…"

"Why?" Sam shook his head, eyes wet.

"She was stopping traffic beautiful and she was in love with him and she left him." Adam croaked out.

"Shit." Dean moved around to get a look in Adam's face. "Adam?" The kid's eyes rolled back in his head before they shut and opened again. His eyes focused on Dean, then on Sam, then they landed on Claire. "Adam?"

"He's right. You're beautiful." Adam started breathing heavily.

"John told you about me?" Claire moved in closer.

"Just once." Adam licked his lips. "You're a knockout now, can't imagine a few years ago."

"It's been a few longer than that, I'm afraid. Welcome back." Claire took the flashlight from Sam and did a brief exam with Adam. "How do you feel?"

"I don't know. I don't… remember a lot." Adam sagged back onto the sofa.

Sam appeared with a glass of water. Adam drank heavily. Dean hovered. Claire took the initiative. "Well, I'm new to you and your adventures. Why don't you tell me what you remember?"

"I remember… dying." Adam swallowed hard. "I remember… saying "yes" to Michael. I… remember… having the ringside seat while the fight happened…"

"Do you remember the cage?" Sam asked gently. Adam started shaking. He folded over, shivering.

"I think he does." Claire yanked the blanket off the back of the sofa and wrapped it around Adam's shoulders. "Not a good place, then."

"It's where the Morningstar was banished." Dean filled in.

"I hate it when you call him that." Sam made a face.

"You also hate when I call him Lucy."

Claire rubbed Adam's arms through the blanket. "Anything aside from the cage?"

"No." He shook his head. "Michael… he… uh… He…"

"It's okay." Claire moved to sit next to him. "It's okay. You don't have to talk about it. But we've all seen things that are hard to talk about."

"Anyone else been to hell?"

"Everyone here but Claire… and to be fair, I was in hell but… I was never in the Cage." Dean answered. "You got any food?"

"Help yourself." Claire sighed. Then she looked to the young man beside her. "What you do need? Food, sleep?"

"I feel really dizzy." Adam breathed out.

"Well, you haven't eaten in years." Dean hauled him up and helped him to the kitchen. Claire got up to fix something. She had food in her house at least.

"Erica! Come on. Time for lunch!"

The little girl came tromping down the stairs a moment later like she hadn't snuck to the top of the stairs to listen. Erica pulled a chair up to the counter to join an assembly line of sandwich making. There weren't enough chairs so Erica set up camp on Dean's knee without permission. Dean looked to Claire and waved her off. "She's fine."

"Sorry, she's never met a stranger." Claire shook her head. "So… Dean, I know a lot has happened since we cohabitated and most of it since I last saw you and a shit ton after we last spoke."

Dean nodded as he shoved a potato chip in his mouth and stared at the side of Erica's face. "Yeah. You lived a life, too. This one… Not a shred of Caleb in her."

"You knew my daddy?" Erica turned to look at Dean.

"Yeah, I knew your dad." Dean laid a hand on her head. "He was a cool dude. He was smart and strong and patient." Claire laughed. "Well, he was more patient than my dad. You look so much like your mom, except for those eyes. Just like your dad."

"Yeah, just like him." Claire sighed and sat back, leaving her sandwich. "Hopeless romantic like him, too."

"How's that?" Sam frowned.

"You all might not know Caleb from before. I met his… intended's family once. The man we knew… not the man they knew. He was still in there, hidden deep down. Came out once or twice when he crawled too far in the bottle. That one… got engaged this morning."

"Mom…" Erica groaned. "It was last night."

"Pardon me. I just found out. I'm only your mother."

"Engaged, huh? Why do you want to tie yourself down like that?" Dean nudged her. "Boys are pretty gross."

"Yeah. I know." Erica polished off her sandwich and hopped down to throw her trash away.

Claire watched her bound away. "She… she's not like other kids. They think she's weird. She doesn't know how to… blend in."

Dean looked to Sam. "Some of us are better at it than others."

"She likes school. She likes hanging out with the boys." Claire shrugged. "Maybe I would have when I was her age… if my parents had allowed it."

"Who's the lucky boy?" Sam asked to fill space.

"Um… Ben Braeden." Claire met Dean's eyes. "He's wonderful. A good friend for her. Doesn't treat her like a freak or a little kid. Sweet."

"Wait, Dean…" Sam looked to his brother. "Did you know they were here?"

"He sent me here. To look after them." Claire explained.

"It was after… Bobby." Dean cleared his throat. "I didn't think you'd stay."

"I'm lost… and I gotta piss." Adam stood up.

"Right through there, sweetie." Claire pointed. She and Dean looked at each other across the table. "I came here. I checked them out. They looked fine. I called you. You didn't answer. It's a nice place to live and… I befriended her so I could lay some mojo on her house. I checked in. You didn't answer. Then I figured… it's a nice place. I settled in. I laid mojo all over town. Then last year… the sky fell and I got scared. So I battened the hatches and dug in."

"That was… our fault. Kind of." Sam offered.

"Angels fell from heaven." Dean filled in. "It's been one thing after another. We're just… trying to keep the world from ending."

"Is it working?"

"Well… if heaven's plan had come to pass… we'd all have died four or five years ago." Dean offered.

"Okay, then."

"Big showdown. End of times." Dean breathed out.

Adam returned and stood in the doorway. "What does a person do when they're brought back to life after the world reported they were dead?"

"We hunt." Sam shrugged. "It's not what you did before you died… but it's what we do."

"Our father is a liar." Adam pushed off the doorway and paced the hallway.

"Yep." Dean nodded. "He's not angry at all."

"I think he's taking this rather well." Claire commented. "I remember what I was like when I found out that a demon took out my kid. I ran out on the best thing that ever happened to me."

"Wait, Dad knew about your kid's demon?" Dean sat up.

"Caleb." She corrected him. "Not everything in my life was about your father. A good portion for sure. That man leaves issues… everywhere."

"Amen." Sam cleared his throat and got up to follow Adam.

Claire sat for a minute, staring at her nails. She looked up. "You see it?"

"Sam watching over Adam like… he's done it a thousand times before?" Dean nodded and swallowed hard. "They were in the cage together. Their souls were at least."

"How long?"

"Sam's soul was in there… two years, I guess. Adam's… well, it's been a lot longer."

"Dean…"

"I wish I knew what was going on. Castiel's scared. We were trying to get rid of my mark and… I haven't told Sam and Sam hasn't mentioned it but I'm missing time. A huge chunk of it."

"How much?"

"Six months." Dean glanced around. Claire found a bottle of whiskey behind the flour and set it on the table. She got Dean a clean glass. He poured himself a drink. "Whatever happened… I would say we failed. Because I still have the mark. I can still feel it's power… just as much as when I first got it. But… Adam is here. He seems to be… normal. I won't take it at face value. I've learned my lessons…"

"Mom!" Erica burst into the room and threw herself on her mother. "I'm bored. I cleaned my room. I took the dirty clothes to the laundry room. I changed the towels in the bathrooms."

Claire brushed the blonde hair out of her face. "Oh? And what question do you have burning in that little head of yours?"

"Can I ask Adam and Sam to play a game with me?"

"I think Dean and his brothers need to rest, sweetie." Claire kissed her forehead.

"Can I go back to Ben's?" She groaned.

"You were at Ben's house all day yesterday and all night." She brushed her hair with her fingers. "And I'm thinking we need to put a stop to the sleepovers."

"Mom." She groaned.

"Well, I left you so I could get at a werewolf and I came home to an engagement announcement. Who knows what sort of nonsense you could get into if I let you go back over there."

"Mom." Erica whined.

"Ben?" Dean cleared his throat. "I wanted to ask earlier."

"What do you want to know?"

"How is he?"

"Good. I think. I didn't know him when you did." Claire shrugged. "He's got a chip on his shoulder these days. He's a teenager. We usually just sic Erica on him when he's being unbearable. He refuses to be an asshole to her."

"He's always wanted a… brother or a sister." Dean ran his hand over his face.

"You want to see them?"

"I can't." Dean shook his head. "I can't." He took another drink and looked at Erica. "She's… really beautiful."

"Thank you." Claire cupped her daughter's face.

"Mommy, I'm bored."

"Go tumble." She steered the girl to the back door. Watched Dean watch her go. "What's up?"

"I don't know…" Dean shook his head. "I… I don't feel right. I feel… I feel." He looked at her.

"You feel." She watched him. "You… you used to have this… bad boy flavor. Like… Dirty sex and danger and… you still got that but it's… way more… intense now."

"Yeah? You want to take a roll?"

"Sorry, junior. You're not the Winchester to get me into bed." She tilted her head at him. "Wow… that's… that heady, what you got there. I almost changed my mind."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, but I'd be thinking about your dad."

"No, thanks." Dean sipped his whiskey. "So, they're okay?"

"Yeah. Happy." Claire nodded. "Lisa and I have book club and PTA together. Ben's into track, he's trying gymnastics but he should've developed earlier. He's got a ways to go on that. Lisa's teaching yoga, giving private lessons here and there. She's… well, she's dating but no one's good enough for her."

"But she's happy?"

"Yeah." Claire watched him watch the back window. "Why are you staring at my kid?"

"I…" Dean poured himself a double and tossed it back. "My… first thought when I woke up… Emma."

"Who is Emma?"

"My daughter. I… She…" Dean rubbed his arm. "I was wondering where she was, before I realized something was wrong. She's dead. Has been for years. Then my next thought was Ben. And maybe that's why Castiel brought us here."

"I didn't know you had a kid."

"For three days, I had a kid." Dean took a breath and took another drink.

"How are you not hammered right now?"

"The mark… kills my tolerance. If I keep it pouring steady, I can get a buzz." Dean poured another double. He glanced out the back window. "She looked like me. I can barely remember what her mother looked like. Some tall blonde. Amazon. Literally. Emma… her face is burned on my brain. I… I wish I could say I didn't think about her often."

"That tough, losing a baby."

"She wasn't a baby." Dean shook his head. "She was Amazon. They have uh… super accelerated growth. I bang her mom and a day later, she's in the world. Three days after that, she's… banging on the door, looking like… one of those Disney princesses. Says she wants me to save her, only… I know she was sent to kill me."

"Dean." Claire grabbed his hand.

"I never got to find out. Sam… did what I couldn't."

"I'm so sorry."

"I try not to think about it… about her and today… it's all I can think about." Dean sniffed and took a swallow of whiskey. "I love my brother, but I've never forgiven him for that."

"What did she look like?"

"She was… 5'6", maybe a bit taller. I think she was still growing. Dark blonde hair… she had my lips. I'd never seen them on someone else. Fuck. I've got a big mouth. She was pretty. I'd have to worry about boys… well, I'm sure that in days, she would have been fully mature and going off to… find a breeding partner."

"Or maybe she would have gone with you and she'd be fully mature and maybe… she'd be hunting."

"Maybe she would have killed me and Sam, the first chance she got."

"Maybe. Doesn't mean you don't have the right to mourn her."

"I just keep thinking… what does it mean? Why are we here? Why is Adam here? What is going to happen next?" Dean sniffed and emptied his glass. "I don't know if I can take anymore. I should just go get the car and get us to Lebanon."

"Why are you going to the middle east?"

"Kansas. We have a bunker. It's… the safest place on the planet… most of the time."

"Safer than Battle Creek?"

"Yes." Dean leaned forward. "Would you like… a standing invitation?"

"That would be most appreciated." Claire nodded to the window. "I let her help sometimes. We've done dry runs… getting her to safety when there is no danger, without me. She's smarter than she acts. She knows cards, pool."

"Already?"

"She shoots… guns and bow. Training her in hand-to-hand. It's a game to her, right now."

"Good. I've got to figure out how to make a copy of our key but… I think we can figure out a system." Dean tilted his head. "How far does she have to go for her safe house?"

"New Mexico."

"Wow."

"She's good." Claire nodded.

"Wow. New Mexico from Michigan."

"Panhandling, scamming… buses… hitching. I chewed her out about that."

"To end up where?"

"Biker bar in Taos."

"Nice." Dean nodded, his buzz wearing off.

"What are they up to in there?"

Dean leaned back. "Adam's probably trying to leave and Sam's trying to stop him."

"What are you waiting for?"

"Castiel. We're waiting for the all clear."

"Okay. I've got weapons in the attic, garage and my closet."

"Good to know."

* * *

TBC


	3. Chapter 2 - I am so sorry

Chapter 2 – I'm so sorry

* * *

Claire spent the evening reading up on the mark of Cain, on the apocalypse and she was sure she was just scratching the surface of what was really going on with those boys. She tucked a few texts into a crate in her car. She checked that over. Oil was good, tank was full enough, tires filled. Dean found her in the morning as she was tucking a wad of cash into the lining of the seat. "Going somewhere?"

"I have nest eggs everywhere." She folded the Velcro back over on itself.

"How much?"

"Five grand."

"Some change. Kay." Dean motioned behind him. "I'm getting a little… I gotta go for a while."

"What?"

"I have to…" Dean tapped his forearm. "I'm gonna get the car. I'll be back in a few. Watch them, please."

"Fine." She sighed. "I do have work, tomorrow."

"I'll be back by then." Dean waved.

Claire entered the house to find that Adam was flipping channels with a disgusted look on his face. "How did television get worse?"

"Kardashians." Claire explained.

"What the hell is a Kardashian?" Adam exclaimed. "Another Star Trek thing? Lizard people or something?"

"They're really bitchy girls with really big butts and they're so fake that if you burn them, they won't burn. They'll just end up a bunch of plastic bits." Erica filled in.

"Erica!"

"That's what Ben said."

"Ben sounds like an awesome kid." Adam nodded to the girl. "What does he watch on television?"

"Game of Thrones, but only when his mom is asleep."

"How do you know that?" Claire cleared her throat.

"What? He didn't let me watch it with him. He just tells me the stories about the dragons." Then she looked to her mother. "Are dragons real?"

"I… I don't think so."

"They are. They're not as cool as in the movies and they're a lot meaner." Sam answered.

"Why?" Erica hopped up on the couch to look up at Sam.

"Well, all of the rumors are true. They like to eat little girls."

"Why do so many monsters pick on little girls?" Erica groaned. "I never get to have any fun."

Sam looked to Claire. "She's a born hunter."

"Don't I know it." Claire sighed. "Well, little girl. Chores."

"Mom." She whined but got up to help.

"Boys, help yourself. Kid and I have chores."

"Can we talk later?" Sam asked.

"Sure, give us a couple of hours."

Once she had Erica busy sorting laundry, Claire finished the rest of her run prep and led Sam outside. "Tell me what it looks like when Dean loses control of that thing on his arm."

"It can get pretty bad."

"And what does that look like?"

"His victim of choice is demons. If he's deep in it, he'll go after assholes who've sold their souls to do harm to other people." Sam shrugged. "He… um… massacred a gang that had him trapped when we were trying to save a young girl." He held up his hand to stay her words. "The leader was going to rape the girl and turn her out for his profit."

"It's not right."

"But he tries to keep it balanced." Sam countered. "It's changed his outlook, definitely."

"I'll keep Lisa and Ben away… if he turns on my kid…"

"Yeah, I know." Sam looked toward the house. He could see Dean walking through the kitchen with Erica on his heels. They were laughing. "He's good with kids. Really good with kids… or he used to be. It's been… refreshing to see him playing with her."

"If he harms one hair on her head."

"I got you. You'll try to kill him."

"I won't try."

"You still don't understand what that mark means."

"You've never seen me work." Claire returned to the house to switch out the laundry and make her kid some mac and cheese. Dean was relaxed as he ate a sandwich and shared the mac and cheese. Claire took the moment to undo the mess in her kid's head and redo the braids. "Katniss, today?"

"Uh-huh. Can I go practice with my crossbow tonight?"

"Maybe not tonight. You have school tomorrow."

"Katniss never stopped practicing."

"Katniss lived in a world without mac and cheese or healthcare. She was starved into learning her craft." Claire worked quickly and kept an eye on Dean. Adam joined them a few minutes later.

"Do we have a plan?" Adam asked again.

"We're waiting on Castiel for now." Dean polished off his sandwich. "Those don't look hard."

"Takes practice." Claire shook her head. "Like everything else."

Dean sipped a beer until Adam had begged off a place to sleep and the kid had to go make sure her homework was done. Dean cleared his throat "I know you're scared."

"I don't do scared anymore." She told him.

"I know that this is… too much."

"I just don't like sleeping with a murderer under my roof."

"Fair."

"Only person I ever made an exception for… I was in love with so…"

"Kay." Dean nodded.

"Walk me through it."

"Starts with a good day. Then I start thinking. People are suffering. People aren't cut out for the world the way it is. I start feeling sorry for them. Like they'd be better off in the next place."

"Hell?"

"I think so. I think the people I kill…"

"I'm sorry. That's a burden."

"To say the least."

"Why take it?"

"I needed to. The world needed me, too."

"Did we?"

"Yes." Dean nodded. "I'm not a saint. I mess up. A lot."

"Where's the boy I knew? The one with an eye for dark-haired ladies and beer?"

"I don't discriminate. Blondes, brunettes, redheads… anything that'll get me buzzing." He looked her over. "Advice? Get a tattoo?"

"Not into that."

Dean pulled his shirt aside. "You'll change your mind on this one." He gestured the way Erica went. "My mom… had a bracelet when she was young. Silver, charms as wards."

"Your mom?" Claire frowned.

"She was a hunter before she married my dad."

"Oh."

"Nobody knew." He nodded to her look. "Big surprise to us. The mark uses my own internal voice to get at me. It tells me things like… Adam would be better off dead. He was dead to begin with… Sam should get some rest and the only way is if he's dead. Erica's a beautiful little girl and I should save her the pain of growing up. It's not me but it's me and… I fight it… every second."

"I should call in to work, tomorrow." Claire got up to get her phone.

"The kid, too?"

"No. I need her normal for as many days in a row as I can give her." Claire took a breath. "I know it's coming… when the little bit she learns becomes her world. When the kids are all right about how weird she is."

"She's fine." Dean shook his head.

"What's gonna happen, Dean?"

"Hopefully, very little."

Claire gave Adam her bed and bunked with her daughter. The kid seemed to need space and also to know where everyone was. He didn't seem to think anything was real. He seemed dazed and confused and in a bit of pain at all times.

In the morning, she got her kid to school with a spare cell phone in her pocket. Erica stared up at her in the parking lot. "I like them, Mom."

"I do, too."

"Well, you're mean to them."

"No, just making sure they know the rules." She kissed her head. "I'll see you after school."

"Promise?"

"Yes. And… if something happens…"

"Cellphone in my backpack. Go-bag is ready. Call Uncle Peter."

"Good girl."

Claire picked up some quick breakfast items on her way back to the house. She had them set out before any of the men stirred. Claire had them settled with coffee and donuts when she went upstairs to be alone for a moment. She fingered a dress in her closet. She hadn't worn it in years but she always packed it. Holding it in her hands, she sat on her bed and prayed. She prayed for peace. She prayed for safety.

"That is a gigantic dress." Adam commented where he leaned in the doorway.

"When John first saved me… all I had was a pair of scrubs he found in the hospital. I borrowed some clothes but this… Bobby gave me this dress. He hadn't looked in his wife's things since she passed. I wore this dress on heavy rotation for four years after that."

"It's…"

"It's pretty enough. I commandeered one of John's belts and Bobby found me a pair of boots. It was my uniform whenever we weren't hunting."

"You like this life?"

"Yeah. I do. I didn't know what I was going to do after that pixie got me and certainly not after I got my memory back. Hunting with John was… calming. Hunting with Caleb… that was… terrifying but we never got a routine down before he was gone."

"That sucks." Adam cleared his throat. "I gotta take a shower and… I'm really tired of wearing Dean's clothes."

"Ben might have left some stuff that could fit you… maybe a bit snug though." Claire got up to find the stash of the boy's clothes. "He's not as tall as you, yet."

"Thanks."

"I'll go pick you up some stuff." Claire promised.

"No, you don't have to do that."

"Go, shower, I'll sneak you out the door."

Claire stared at her dress and sighed before she changed into it. The slip was snugger in the hips than she remembered. The dress was still voluminous and John's old belt was still a bit wide for her frame. The boots were long gone but she found some slippers that were comfortable. She snuck Adam out of the house and she took him to get his necessities… and a milkshake. Adam chattered uncomfortably the whole time. Just to fill the air.

"John used to talk about me?" He asked finally.

"Once. At the very end. It was one of the last conversations I had with him."

"I didn't know he had other kids."

"He didn't tell them about you… at all. That's what Dean said."

"Weird."

"Family secrets."

"Yeah, my mom didn't tell me who my dad was until I was 12."

"That's awful. I try not to lie to my girl. She hears stories about everyone. I tell her about her dad but… to be honest, we didn't get a lot of time together. I tell her about John and Dean… Bobby and Pastor Jim. I didn't meet so many of John's friends. We got a family of sorts in New Mexico. Bikers who have pledged life and limb to us if need be."

"So strange. I was going to medical school. Then I got eaten… by a ghoul." Adam sipped his milkshake. "Then I was taken from my personal heaven and shoved into a celestial waiting room. They're boring. Also, the archangel Michael. He's a douchebag." He stared off into the depths of his cup. "I remember… the first… 20 seconds of the cage."

"Adam?"

"It's enough that I never want to remember the rest." Adam kept staring at his cup. "I remember that look on his face. When he forgot he was with me. I remember. I didn't understand. I asked once… where he went in his head. He just told me that was an adult question but he might tell me someday." He looked up at her. "I bet I have that look on my face, now."

"I'll bet." She nodded. "We live long enough in this life, we all have that look."

"Where do you go?"

"To the woods. Where I'm being raped and mutilated by a seven foot tall pixie…. Or… to the dark crime lab where I'm looking at the pictures of my Caleb the way his body was found… or to the night I watched Caleb put a bullet in the man who housed the demon who killed my firstborn… rarely to the night in a pueblo village where I watched a vengeful poltergeist rip apart a dozen of his descendants before I could find the right spell to burn it out."

"Rarely?"

"I try not to think about it. I don't hunt poltergeists anymore. I pass them to people who can."

"Like who?"

"Used to? Dean. After we lost contact… well, I run into people here and there. They don't last long or the friendships don't." She shrugged. "I met a hunter in Virginia. We don't get along. We trade hunts."

"Why don't you get along?"

"He fucked me and then looked the wrong way at my kid. Then he went and fucked a barely legal before the sheets were cold."

"Oh."

"Yeah." She shrugged. "I hear he does anything to a kid, I'll kill him myself."

"You think he might?"

"The world takes all kinds and so does the life."

"Thanks… for getting me out of the house and for some clothes that don't smell like booze, death or spunk."

"Ben's clothes don't smell that bad."

"Dean's do."

"I'll rib him about it, later."

"I'm supposed to be 25 but I was 20 last I checked… I…"

"I know." She nodded. "I missed my 30th birthday. I didn't feel my age for a long time."

"You don't look your age."

"Thank you. Now, if only my joints would defy age with my face."

"What do you think is going to happen?"

"Nothing good."

They loaded up and headed back to the house. Dean gave them a chewing out but helped Adam get a go-bag together. Claire left them to it and drove off to collect her child from school. She ran into Lisa at the 7-Eleven and gave excuses to miss book club. Also warned off Ben's surprise drop-ins.

Lisa tilted her head at Claire. "Is everything okay?"

"Visitors from out of town. Indefinite departure plans. You know. I just… would rather not expose Ben to that madness."

"If you need a refuge or need to send Erica out…"

"Thank you." She nodded and handed the chocolate bar through the window to her child. "Maybe… depends how the next couple of days go."

"Maybe I'll swing by tonight, grab her for dinner and yoga?"

"Maybe. I'll text you later."

Dean had taken over dinner plans and ordered a ton of pizza. Claire took Erica outside to spar. She didn't care that the men were watching from the window but it did make her think. Erica was quick but she was not deadly. She steeled herself and struck with normal force. It surprised her daughter but she gave as good as she got. A few bruises later and they were inside with icepacks and ice cream.

Sam was showing Adam some firearms in the living room. Dean leaned in the doorway. "Nice moves, kid. You're very fast."

"Mom makes me practice all the time."

"Just remember that with monsters, you don't stop punching when you make contact with skin. You want to make contact with their spleens." Dean motioned.

"Ew."

"Yeah." Claire nodded.

"I agree. The spleens of most monsters are quite disgusting." Castiel spoke up. He had a large naked man in tow.

"Jesus!" Claire exclaimed and clamped her hands over her daughter's eyes.

"Jesus's spleen was also disgusting. More so after he was stabbed by that Roman soldier." Castiel motioned to his companion. "He has information."

"Can he put clothes on?" Claire asked.

"Don't ask." Dean waved her off. "Why would you bring a cupid here?"

"I warned him that his first hug gets him sent back to the demon concentration camp I rescued him from." Castiel shrugged out of his trenchcoat and draped it over the cupid.

"I know. No hugs." The cupid allowed Castiel to tie the trenchcoat around his middle. "It's scary out there. I can't go back there."

"Tell Dean what you told me."

"Okay." Cupid took a breath. "Someone is killing my high profile meet-cutes."

"What?"

"Maybe that's not accurate but the whole point of the boy meets girl thing is to produce more humans." Cupid took a seat. "Like when I got you back in the car with John so he could take you to Caleb so that you could make her."

"What?"

"It's a thing in heaven." Dean cut in. "Some births are orchestrated. Mine. Hers." He gestured. "So, why did Erica have to be made?"

"So that Claire would be here. Now. I don't know why. Without Erica, Claire wouldn't be here. Lisa and Ben would be exposed but I don't know for what? I only get my part and some extra because I'm super good friends with my handler. He enjoys my hugs." Cupid glared accusingly at Castiel.

"Still not understanding." Dean prompted.

"My handler only let me know that some of my high profile couples were being targeted so that their children would never be born. That can't happen. There was a plan. He always has a plan." Cupid started crying. "Who would want to kill all those babies?"

"Do you know who?" Dean prompted.

"I have to find his handler. Find out who the orders were coming through." Castiel looked at Dean. "There are a few secrets we may learn that you may not like."

"Hey, I had to save my own life in utero… I'm down with saving a few other people."

"We still don't know who the targets are." Castiel reinforced.

"The word is… they've resurrected some warriors to help with the effort." Cupid offered.

"So, upstairs knows this is happening." Dean pressed.

"Yes." Cupid nodded. "It's very hush, hush from what I understand."

"I'll return when I know who the targets are." Castiel straightened his shirt.

"You can't leave that here." Dean pointed to the Cupid.

"Come on. I orchestrated your birth. Her birth. Can't I stay? Can't I have a hug?" Cupid held his arms out.

"Can I hug him?" Erica asked.

"No." Claire and Dean answered at the same time.

"Ah… maybe this is a meet cute. Is there another Cupid around?" Cupid began looking around.

"No." Dean groaned and looked to Castiel. "He can't stay."

"I have a list. I have the list of my couplings." Cupid looked from person to person.

"I will keep him close by. Be on the lookout for others." Castiel put his hand on the Cupid's shoulder.

"Others?" Dean frowned. Cupids always gave him headaches.

"The resurrected. I don't have a list but there are quite a few missing souls."

"Should we go to the bunker?" Sam asked from the hallway.

"Not yet." Castiel cast a look to Dean and then left with Cupid.

"What was that about?" Sam asked.

"Hell if I know." Dean shook his head then turned to Erica. "We don't hug Cupids. It only encourages them."

"Where were his clothes?"

"He's gross. He doesn't believe in clothes." Dean explained. "We don't hug Cupids, got it?"

"Fine." Erica sighed and looked to her mother. "He looked like a giant baby."

"What was that?" Claire asked them.

"Every time a couple falls in love… there's one of those behind it." Sam motioned. "Usually in order to propagate. Sometimes there are… high profile arrangements to be made."

"Why Dean?"

"We both…" Sam nodded. "To make sure that a pair of siblings with the right bloodlines were born to be the vessels for two angels to facilitate the apocalypse."

"But not me?" Adam asked.

"I'm fairly certain now… that you were, in fact, not a mistake." Dean answered. "They probably saw what a smart ass I was turning out to be. They like the symmetry. I didn't."

"I need to take a walk." Claire announced and grabbed her daughter's hand. 10 minutes later, they were on Lisa's doorstep. "I'm here to take you up on your offer of sanctuary for an evening."

Ben took Erica to play video games. Lisa poured Claire a glass of wine. Claire wiped her face free of tears. "I got all metaphysical about my life and I had to get away."

"Oh?"

"Grand plans and the like." Claire looked through the doorway. "I always thought it was strange. The way I met Caleb. Any change I made early on, would put me on a path not to meet him. I wondered if I could meet him without also meeting certain other people but they were always instrumental."

"That's life." Lisa shook her head. "I always wonder about Ben. I wish he had a better father but… without that man, I wouldn't have Ben and I wouldn't have Ben any other way."

"Caleb was always afraid that Erica wasn't his. I didn't quite overlap my men that way but… I don't blame him. I wonder… why Erica is so important but… maybe it's enough that she's important to me." She sighed. "I miss my son… everyday… I would have had to trade him for her. If he had never died… I never would have met John and if I never met John, then I would have never met Caleb and never had her."

"Who exactly is visiting?"

"Old friend and his brothers… who I also met through John."

"Ever think maybe John was more trouble than he was worth?"

"It was why I left him… but only after he told me over and over I was wasting my time. I was in it so deep for him. PTSD. They tell me I was Florence Nightingaled. Damsel in Distressed. I saw strength. Intensity. Goodness… all tarnished with a bit of alcohol and age and grief."

"Caleb?"

"He was a bad boy and he wanted me to do dirty things to him. So, naturally, I put him off. Then he got too drunk and I saw all the sadness and grief and goodness and… then I couldn't keep my hands off him and then we made her and then he was gone." She sighed. "Both my pregnancies… I did alone for the most part… Caleb at least got to meet his daughter."

"Why are you so deep in there, tonight?"

"I don't know. Just feels… inescapable."

"We all feel that way."

"Sure. Maybe." She took a long drink from her glass. "Too much testosterone in my house and Erica is fascinated by them. It's a little terrifying."

"Fascinated?"

"I blinked and she had Dean doing her hair and was explaining Batman to Adam. I haven't see her commandeer Sam yet but I think it's coming. He likes to read and she'll figure that out in one more day."

"So what's the problem?"

"They're John's kids." Claire made the easy excuse.

"Wow. You're a saint."

"It's a long boring story." Claire shook her head. "I owe him a lot. If I hadn't met him… after Sebastien… I would have gone mad."

"So, he was stable?"

"No… Dean had… run away… just months after Sam had gone to school. He was a mess. I think that… taking care of me… stabilized him. We… leaned on each other. Then after I got myself together and Dean came home… he just… dove into the deep end and slapped away all attempts to help him up."

"Sounds intense."

"It was." Claire looked at Lisa. "Can we talk about something else? We can ogle that young man on that show."

"Okay."

* * *

Claire wrapped up her daughter and they started a hustle home in the cooling night. The whiny little brat complained every five steps that she needed to go back to Ben's. Claire cleared her throat and stopped in her tracks. Erica looked up at her. "Sorry. Thanks for letting me play with Ben tonight."

"Let's get home. You have school in the morning."

"Can I go back tomorrow?"

"Maybe. We'll see." Claire took her hand and they moved quickly through the streets. At the end of her block, Claire froze. There was a man standing across the street, watching her house. "Sweetie, get your pocket knife ready. I want you to walk straight to the house and in the front door. I'm going to be about five minutes behind you. If anyone but me or the boys in the house try to talk to you, you stab. Don't care about hurting them, you just stab anything you can reach."

"Got it."

Claire sent her on and crossed the street to get behind the stranger. She stopped trying to hide about halfway. He had seen her even if he hadn't turned. She could tell. She walked right up to him. "Reason you're ogling my house, stranger?"

"You're still really beautiful."

He turned and Claire gasped. Clean-shaven and sober-looking. Not a day over 50 though he was chronologically over 60. "John?"

"Good to see you, Darlene."

"But… Dean said you died… back in '06."

"I did." He nodded and tucked his chin into his scarf, hands in his pea coat pockets. "I… found myself staring at a wall in a hospital a few days ago, no clue how I got there or how long I'd been there. I… prayed for an answer. A man appeared to me… said he was an angel of the Lord."

"Dirty tie and trenchcoat?"

John turned slightly. "You met him?"

"He's popped into my home a few times in the last few days. He didn't tell us you were coming."

"He's a son of a bitch." John cast his eyes down to his toes. "Anyway, he looked me over, asked if he could touch my soul… last time I fall for that line. Fucking hurt. Then he gave me this address. Didn't know what I would find."

"How long you been standing out here?"

"Long enough to see Dean drink a liquor store and a half… Sam pacing with his laptop in one hand and his phone in the other. And Adam bury himself in blankets and stare at that television for a while without blinking. That your little girl?"

"Yeah."

"Big. Sorry about Caleb. I meant to call."

"Well, being dead… and all." She stared at him. "I don't suppose he'll be joining us?"

"I don't know. I don't know why I'm here." He looked her over. "That my belt?"

"Souvenir." She cleared her throat. "Trenchcoat brought a Cupid this afternoon. Said some souls were missing but didn't know which ones… also said children were being prevented from being born… it sounded strange but Dean committed himself to helping with it."

"Why?"

"Said he'd dealt with it before."

"Why are they all here?"

"My house is warded against demons." She shrugged. "I did it when I moved to town. Some stuff I learned over the last decade. Dean warded it against angels, too."

"Adam… why is he here?"

"No clue. Just know that he is and that he'd rather be dead again."

"Again?" John's posture changed, shoulders slumped.

"Yeah. Again. You've been gone a long time, John. A lot has happened."

"He was never supposed to know about all this." Eyes wet.

"And he didn't… until the day he died from what I understand. Then he was brought back to… well, maybe he should be telling this story."

"And they all know about each other."

"Seem to be getting along but I think Adam is overwhelmed. He and I tried talking earlier. He was… deep in it. He's… we don't know why he's back and he doesn't know what to do. So he's… eating and sleeping and watching television… trying to make sense of the things he doesn't understand." She gestured to the house. "You're not exactly high on anyone's best friend list right now." She stepped closer. "That's not the Dean you're used to. Sam either, I'd wager."

"You either."

"No. Probably not."

"Shall we?"

"I suppose we shouldn't put it off." She took his elbow and crossed the street. "My daughter will have told them all I was hunting something by now. They're probably watching us by now."

At the door, Dean was waiting with a flask and a knife. John shrugged out of his jacket and held his arm out for the cut. He tossed back the holy water and walked through the door and over, he presumed, some sort of trap before Dean gripped his shoulders. Claire was right, Dean was different.

They stared off for a full minute before John was allowed to close in for a hug. Felt the hitch in Dean's breath. Then he got crushed by Sam who seemed to have grown another two inches and filled out even more. Then there was the little girl who stared up at him. "You're old."

"Yes. I am. Even older than I look."

"Are you a grandpa?"

"He's old enough to be." Dean quipped and nudged Erica. "But no."

"You're grounded." John told Dean, then introduced himself to the girl. "Name's John. If I have my facts correct… you're Erica… and your dad… was one of the best men I ever knew."

"John." Adam spoke from the doorway.

John walked over to him. Looked him over. "You… look so grown."

"I've been… so angry." Adam's eyes filled with tears. "But they say… you were dead the whole time."

"I was. Heard you died yourself."

"Yeah."

"Demon?"

"Ghoul."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." John's chin trembled.

Adam shook his head and gestured to Claire and the stairs. Claire nodded to him and he jogged up to her room. They heard the door shut a moment later. Claire looked to John. "He's… dealing but…"

"He was in hell… in the Cage. The world is… too bright." Dean offered and followed Claire into the kitchen. Erica took a cookie and ran upstairs to go to bed. Claire put on the coffee. Dean pulled on his bottle and Sam slumped in a chair. After a moment, John joined them. He took a slug from Dean's bottle when it was offered. Dean shrugged. "Now, we wait."

* * *

TBC


	4. Chapter 3 - They're all gone

Chapter 3 – They're all gone.

* * *

Claire watched John's face as Sam told the story about the missing souls and the cupid's hit list. Then explained how the cupid worked. "Apparently you and Mom were a high profile coupling."

"Oh yeah?" John laughed.

"Had the get the bloodlines together. Mom was a hunter and…"

John's smile faded. "So you know about that?"

"Yeah and we met Grampa." Dean cut in.

"Samuel? How did that go?"

"Not well but not the Grampa I was talking about." Dean baited him.

"Dean." Sam glared. "He doesn't know."

"You met my… father." John looked from son to son. "You mean Jerry. My stepdad."

"Henry." Sam offered.

All the color faded out of his face. "He's still alive?"

"No." Dean shook his head. He rose from the table to get another bottle of booze.

Sam told the story about meeting Henry Winchester and Claire bit her lip as she watched John's eyes fill with water. John stood and paced. Took more whiskey when it was offered. Then Adam was back. He'd been standing in the hallway. "So… we have a superspy grandfather?"

"Men of Letters?" John asked.

"They were… librarians." Dean offered. "Like Sammy."

Sam glared at his brother. "He was educated."

"Like I said."

"He called you an ape."

"He called us both apes." Dean ribbed but sobered with a look at his father's face. "For what it's worth… he had every intention of coming home that night. He just… had to save our lives from the thing he brought to our time." Dean swallowed down a lump. "He had that… same look on his face when he realized you were dead."

"Did he?" John tipped the bottle back into his mouth again.

"Least now we know why you always hum that song from Casablanca." Dean tried to get a laugh.

"I always regretted smashing that music box." John stared off into nothing. "I used to have him play it for me when I went to bed."

"That's what he told us." Sam nodded.

"How long did you get with him?"

"Couple days." Sam breathed out. "He was… intense."

"Time travel?"

"It sucks. A lot." Dean nodded. "Met mom a couple of times, pre-hunter you a couple of times. I met Colt, once. Met myself."

"Dean does most of the time traveling." Sam explained

"Met Ness. He was cool. Like… slick." Dean nodded to himself.

"Ness?" Adam asked.

"Eliot Ness." John and Dean answered at the same time. John shrugged. "I always thought he was a hunter."

"Figures huh." Dean agreed.

"I need to…" John gripped the back of a chair.

"Come on. You've come a long way. You need to rest." Claire took his arm. "Boys, you know where everything is."

John took the bottle with him upstairs. Claire followed. She checked on Erica who had put herself to sleep. She hefted a set of blankets and left them on the stairs. She joined John and he was wrecked. He'd been holding it together downstairs. He looked up at her. "I thought I was done."

"Go to bed, John." She brushed his hair back and helped him into bed. "Dean knows more than he's letting on. He'll tell you when he's ready."

"You know that?"

"Yeah. I trust Dean."

"No, you don't."

"I don't trust Dean to stay sober but I trust him with whatever is going on."

"Yeah?"

"Well, I let him sleep under the same roof as my daughter."

"She's beautiful. Looks just like you."

"Yeah."

"Except the eyes."

"All Caleb."

"Yeah."

"Get some sleep, John."

"I've got some people I want to look up."

"Make your list in the morning." Claire ran her fingers over his forehead and through his hair until he passed out. She stayed and watched a nightmare or two. Then it was too much. She found Sam and Dean on the stairs with the bottle and their guns. She shook her head at them and took the bottle for a swig. She sat on the stairs and let Dean lean on her leg the way he used to do when they would hide from John's binges back in '04. They didn't talk. Claire could tell that the Winchester boys were tense. They could hear Adam moving around. Examining toys and flipping channels on the TV.

* * *

Claire woke in Erica's bed. Erica was giggling down the hallway. She found Erica and John swapping tales about dragons and pirates. John shrugged at her when she leaned in the doorway. "My girl never met a stranger." Claire went down to start the coffee. Dean was still awake. Sam crashed out on the floor, Adam boring holes into the TV.

Erica begrudgingly got ready for school. Claire emailed lesson plans to the school. When she got back, John was pacing with his list and a pen. "Jefferson?"

"Fell off the grid." Dean shrugged.

"Caleb went before me. Jim, too." John rubbed his forehead. "Call Bobby."

"He's gone, Dad." Sam shook his head. "Few years back."

"Jesus." John huffed. "Fuck it."

"John. Sit." Claire pulled the chair out for him. Dean set John's journal on the table. John gripped it with both hands.

"We met the Harvelles, they're both gone." Sam offered.

"Rufus, that friend of Bobby's." Dean shook his head.

"There was a… vampire hunter…" John shut his eyes. "He was crazy. Course… hadn't realized there were so many Vampires still walking around."

"Gordon Walker."

"Yeah."

"Gone." Dean took the list and started writing. "Steve Wandell, Isaac and Tamara, Kubrick and Creedy. Richie. All Dead."

"Pam Barnes, Travis…"

"Martin Creaser." Dean kept writing. John cursed under his breath.

"Gwen, Christian, Mark and Johnny Campbell."

"Frank Devereaux." Dean wrote Campbells in large letters before writing Frank's name. "Garth is out of the game." Sam crossed his arms. "Lee Chambers. Annie Hawkins. Fuckin' Irv… Tara, you remember Tara, Dad?" Dean kept writing. "Ian… Rudy…"

"Kevin." Sam offered.

"Charlie." Dean wrote her name and his lip quivered. He wiped at his eye and wrote one more name but didn't say it out loud.

"Who is Emma?" John asked when he read the name.

Dean shoved himself away from the table and slammed the back door after him. Sam shook his head. Claire laid her hand on John's shoulder. "She was Dean's daughter."

"She was a monster." Sam bit out.

"She was still his daughter." Claire leaned across the table to look at Sam. "You might have saved his life but she was still his daughter. He's always going to wonder if she could have… changed."

"He tell you that?"

"He didn't have to." Claire shook her head. "Look at him." She gestured to the window. Dean was pacing like a caged animal. "Any time he talks about her, he does this. Goes off…"

"He doesn't talk about her."

"He did. To me."

"They didn't…"

"It was enough that he laid eyes on her. He talked to her."

"When did Dean have a kid?" John cut in.

"Couple years ago." Sam sat back. "She was… he was tricked. The mother was an Amazon. She was a creature."

"She was a hunter." Claire clarified. "That's what Amazons are… were. She might have been able to change. We'll never know."

"Amazon are real." John shook his head. "Who was Charlie? Kevin?"

"Later." Sam shook his head.

"Sam." Claire motioned to the door.

"Fine." Sam got up and went to check on Adam.

A few minutes later, Dean returned and sat with the bottle. John tapped the table. "It's nine in the morning."

"Fuck you." Dean tipped the bottle into his mouth. He shoved his sleeves up his arms and stared at the list. "There are other hunters. Krissy Chambers and her crew are too young. I won't rope them into this."

"You all met Annie Hawkins?"

"You could say that." Dean stared at her name on the list.

"Only redhead I ever…" John hitched a shoulder.

"Wow… she got around." Dean barked out a laugh and took another slug. Then he started laughing. "Except for Adam, she got all the Winchesters… and Bobby."

"She liked to have fun."

"Yes, she did." Dean sniffed and reached for Claire's arm. Claire moved around the table. "I want to see him."

"You shouldn't… and especially not like this."

"I just need to see for myself."

Claire wrapped her arms around his shoulders and squeezed. "Dean… they're fine. They're happy."

"Good. Good." He took another slug.

"When did you start getting tattoos?" John cut in.

Dean held out his arm. "This old thing?"

John stared at it for a long moment before grabbing Dean's arm, hard, for a closer look. "The fuck is that? What the fuck is that?"

"I took it." Dean stared at his father, shaking off Claire's arm. "I did it. I took it. I killed Abaddon. She killed your father and I killed her. It's what I do. I kill the things that kill our family."

"You're extraordinarily good at that." Castiel spoke from the backdoor. "John, glad to see you made it."

"Where's the Cupid?" Dean ripped his arm out of his father's grip.

"I stashed him somewhere safe." Castiel took a seat. "There's an Angel working for Crowley."

"Which one?"

"Don't know."

Dean stared at Castiel. "Any other family members you're going to bring out from the family tree?"

"I didn't do this."

"Someone did."

"When I find out…" Castiel trailed off.

"Sure." Dean shook his head and chugged from the bottle.

"I did find some of the targets. It will mean going to another time."

"I'm down." Dean shrugged.

"It could get messy."

"Claire!" a voice called from the front of the house.

"Shit." Claire jumped up.

Dean's head snapped to the hallway. Sam rushed to the kitchen through the other door hissing low. "She just walked into the house."

"Claire!" The voice came again.

Claire had to push around Dean and Castiel to get to the hallway but by then, Lisa was already standing there with a plate of cinnamon rolls. "Oh… hi."

"Lisa! Hi." Claire tried to smile. Castiel had vanished.

"I uh… brought…" She held up her plate. "There are a lot of handsome men in your kitchen."

"Everyone… this is my friend Lisa." Claire cleared her throat and took the cinnamon rolls. "Lisa, this… everyone."

"John, pleased to meet you." John held out his hand.

"Oh! You're… you're John." Lisa looked to Claire.

"He… just got here… last night." Claire met John's look. "Shut up."

"You still talk about me?" He grinned at her.

"Your children are overrunning my house. I told my best friend about it."

"Children? I was… expecting children… or… younger… people." Lisa smiled at Dean. "Hi."

"Dean." He leaned over to shake her hand. Claire tilted her head as Dean was suddenly nervous as a teenager.

"Nice to meet you." Lisa's hand lingered in Dean's.

"Sam. Adam." Sam cleared his throat.

"She's pretty." Adam frowned. "I said that out loud. I'm going back to the living room."

"Wow…" Lisa's smile was tight. "John… you have… quite the… strapping brood of boys."

"Oh, I can't take all the credit. Their mothers were something."

"Mothers." Lisa repeated.

"Adam's our… half-brother." Sam explained and then followed Adam away.

"John has a type." Claire cleared her throat.

"I have a weakness for beautiful blondes." John nodded.

"Yes, I was informed by my daughter that she was going to break off her engagement to Ben because she'd asked John to marry her just this morning." Claire sighed. "Did you get engaged to my nine year old?"

"She's nine."

"And fishing hard for a husband. She was trying to lock down my son because she found out high school is full of girls." Lisa shook her head.

Claire watched the look on Dean's face. Proud. Then she noticed that he was shaking. She shoved him into a chair and took the plastic off the cinnamon rolls. She shoved one in Dean's mouth. He looked relieved. Then she realized that look was nostalgia.

"How long are… you guys staying in town?"

"Hopefully not long." John shrugged. "Claire was good enough to put us up. The boys ran into car trouble on the roadtrip. I came to retrieve. Figured I'd look the car over before we went. Maybe I can slap it back together."

"Look Claire's car over. No one touches my car but me." Dean moaned around his mouthful. "So good."

"Thanks." Lisa gave Dean a crooked smile. "Had I known I was bringing treats to adults… I might have opted for a frittata."

"No, these are good. So good."

"Dean." John tsked. "Sit up."

Dean did it and almost set the cinnamon roll down before he took another bite. John tossed him a napkin but it was hopeless. Lisa laughed. "You're worse than my son."

"I have it on pretty good authority that I'm the most disgusting human being ever." Dean shook his head.

"Who?" Claire turned to face him.

Sam walked back into the kitchen. He stared at his brother. "Why? Why can't you eat like a human being?" He took cinnamon rolls for himself and Adam and disappeared again.

"Well, he's right. People will think you were raised in a barn." John took a seat when Claire shoved him into one.

"Thanks, Lisa, for the cinnamon rolls." Claire tried to get Lisa toward the door. "You got classes today?"

"Yeah. Ben's got a game tonight." Lisa helped Claire escape from behind the table. "I know you got a full house. I can take Erica with me."

"You don't have to do that." Claire shook her head.

"Ben's girlfriend will be there and… I think Erica should hang out with her a bit."

"Your kid's old enough to have a girlfriend?" Dean blurted out.

"He's 15." Lisa nodded.

"Jesus Christ." Dean muttered and shoved another piece of cinnamon roll in his mouth.

"I'll let you know." Claire cleared her throat.

"I'll uh… let you guys get back… to uh…" Lisa glanced around.

"Catching up." Claire filled in.

Lisa tilted her head at Claire and the way Claire slapped a napkin into John's face. "Are you… two… rekindling?"

"What?" Claire blinked.

"Well, I did sleep in her bed last night." John rested his hand on Claire's back.

"And I slept in Erica's bed." Claire hit him again with his napkin.

"She still wears my belt." John winked at Lisa.

"Dean, I'm gonna kill your father." Claire looked to Dean, who was still being awkward.

"Your fault for fucking him in the first place. I offered my services."

"Dean." John growled.

"Sorry." Dean tucked his hands into his lap and started breathing deep.

"What is wrong with you?" John barked.

"He's fine." Claire answered, too fast. She sat on John's leg, laying her arm across John's shoulders.

"Did you…?" John looked from Dean to Claire.

"I've met a few of your exes in the last decade. I could catch something." Dean told his father. "Just… honestly."

"Says the Lothario of the lower 48."

"You should have a talk with your other son in there. He's been up to some sketchy things the last few years." Dean bit out, kept his eyes on the table.

"Boys, we're all adults. We all have sex." Claire tried to cut in.

"Tampa." John jabbed the table.

"Why Tampa? Stop." Claire shook her head. "Dean, stop telling people about Tampa."

"What was Tampa?" Lisa took a seat with a cup of coffee.

"The… most unpleasant experience of my young lifetime and a girl… I should not… have… I shouldn't have." Dean shook his head and made a face and then shuddered.

"You met Tara?" John asked softly.

"Little bitter. You said you'd call… and I apparently have the same look about me but I didn't… do… Tara." Dean stared at his fingernails. "That was a… fun… encounter."

"You met Ellen."

"You… didn't." Dean's head snapped up.

"No. I was just asking if you met Ellen."

"Yeah. I met Ellen and Jo."

"You didn't. Jo."

"No." Dean made a face at his father. "She… was like a little sister."

"Good. Ellen was…"

"Like family. She told us. She. Told us." Dean cleared his throat.

"How?"

"Long story." Dean shook his head.

John picked at his roll and looked up at Claire. "I'm glad you all stayed in touch."

"Me, too." Claire looked to Dean. "Though… in touch… is a strong phrase. Glad you all are comfortable coming to me."

"You're part of the family." Dean told her. "Dad could have done worse. I think he did."

"Hey Dean… you like baseball, right?" Claire shifted on John's lap. "Maybe you take Erica to Ben's game tonight. It'll give you a break and you can vet one of Erica's suitors for me."

"Yeah, sure."

"Alright." Lisa nodded. "I can come pick you up."

"I'll take my car." Dean got out too fast. "I just… like to drive."

"You and your car. I'm worried." Claire cut in.

"He was conceived in the car. It's a part of him." John shrugged.

"What?" Lisa looked to Dean.

"It's a '67 Chevy Impala. My dad gave it to me when I was 23. He got it when he was the same age… right before he proposed to my mom."

"When did I tell you that?" John blinked at his son.

"I don't know." Dean cleared his throat. "Probably a long time ago."

"Probably."

"How old are you?" Lisa leaned in to get a good look at John. "Dean doesn't look a day over 30 and… I always got the impression that you were a bit older than Claire but…"

"It is a bit like he was frozen in time." Claire looked him over. "Course… I never got the clean-shaven John." She leaned into Lisa. "There was a lot of rug burn."

"I'm done." Dean rose from the table. He narrowed his eyes at Claire. "And I'm 37. Bite me."

"Dean, come on… you have such a baby face." Claire followed him into the next room. Then the laughter boomed from the living room.

"You're one of those embarrassing stepmothers!"

"Take it back!"

"Was it like that when you two were together?" Lisa asked.

"Not quite. Much more angst and alcohol." John shook his head. "You make Dean nervous. I thought he'd grown out of that."

"What?" Lisa glanced through the doorway.

"I'm his father. I know him." John picked up his coffee cup. "Excellent cinnamon rolls."

"Thank you."

"15 year old son." John murmured. "I don't envy you. I pulled Dean out of so many bars and clubs when he was that age."

"My son… doesn't make me worry like I made my parents worry."

"Good. It's good when you got good boys. Dean was wild… a bit like me… Sam was good. Adam was good. Sweet kid." John laughed to his crumb filled napkin. "Dean was good with responsibility like me. He took care of the family. Sam was good with getting things done."

"And Adam?"

"I only saw him a couple days a year… I don't know him like I should."

"I'm sorry."

"Your boy see his dad?"

"Not really." Lisa shrugged. "There's some doubt and a timing issue."

"Don't they got blood tests for that?"

"There's… a situation with that but… doesn't matter."

"Good. It's okay to raise a kid on your own. My mom… she always felt like she couldn't. Jerry was okay but I wasn't his kid and he let me know it."

"I'm sorry."

"He was the only dad I knew. I wouldn't be the man I am without him… but I think it could have been different."

Claire reappeared. "So… sorry. Lisa. Thanks for breakfast. I'll make dinner some night next week."

"I should go. I have a private lesson soon." Lisa glanced down the hallway. "Is… Dean seeing anyone?"

"Um…" Claire stuttered. "Well, no."

"Oh, am I stepping on something?"

"No, not at all." She looked to John, then back through the kitchen. "I just… don't know how long Dean will be around here."

"Ah." Lisa nodded.

"We're not sure how long it'll take to fix the car… the second one." John cleared his throat.

"Well, it was really nice meeting everyone." Lisa stood. "I'll see you tonight then."

"Okay." Claire walked her to the door. When she got back, John was staring at Dean through the kitchen doorway. Dean was pacing like a caged animal. Sam was trying to talk him down. "John?"

"What don't I know?"

"About what?"

"About the way Dean was looking at that young woman."

"It's a long story and I don't know all of it."

* * *

TBC


	5. Chapter 4 - I don't like waiting

Chapter 4 – I don't like waiting.

AN: I'm sorry. Just... sorry.

* * *

John drove Dean and Erica to the baseball game with Adam in tow. Erica and Dean's combined energy was skyrocketing. Erica did all the talking. "Ben is my best friend and he's going to marry me when I'm old enough and he's a really good baseball player and tonight he's going to pitch."

Claire took her time walking around the field. She carved symbols into trees and light posts. Sam helped. He laughed. "You're really good at this."

"I hated finding things out on the fly. Learning proactive spells and wards suited me better. I… had a lot of time to read between feedings."

"Dean told me a bit about you and Dad but… it's never really… clicked."

"Why? Cause I'm younger than him?"

"I… I don't know… Dad's type tends to be a bit…"

"Way I saw it, your dad has a type but that falls into three sub-sets." Claire washed a symbol in holy water. "Type 1, your mom. I only know what Dean told me, what John muttered in his sleep and what I read in his journal when I could get my hands on it. Type 2, women like me and Adam's mom. Remind him a bit of your mom but just don't fit the bill. Type 3, coloring and shape and willing not to care if he's gone in the morning."

"Wow. You do know my dad."

"Yeah. It was just him and me for months between stops at Pastor Jim's and Bobby's." She smiled. "I liked Jim. He had your dad's number. John and I fought and Jim just… kept making coffee and churning out sermons while he was doling out hunting info." She headed back to the car with Sam. "I always knew when he was talking the heavy stuff with John. Jim would send me upstairs to the bathtub. I loved that bathtub."

"I know that bathtub. Dean and I used to play submarine in it when we were little."

"Good size tub for it." She nodded. "Last time I was there, it was to baptize Erica. Caleb and I… almost let him marry us but we were… still too new. He sent me upstairs to the bathtub that trip, too."

"I miss him."

"Me, too." She laughed as she slid behind the wheel. "Jim threatened to steal her."

"He always did like kids. Told me once that… he never married because of his gift, his calling. He didn't want to bring anything onto his own children."

"I was already in the wind when he died. Caleb knew something was coming." She steered them to the field. Sam took her car back to the house and Claire hopped the fence to avoid the lines. She found Erica talking everyone's ear off while she climbed around the group. She sat next to Lisa, who was watching the boys on the team with an eagle eye. John and Adam were sitting a seat behind in what looked like practiced aloofness. Dean was in line at the concession stand, holding up the works by flirting with every woman in sight.

Lisa gestured. "That 17 on the other team. Heard he got held back. Look at him."

"How old you think?"

"Just this side of 18." Lisa shook her head.

"Which one is he?" John asked.

"Ben is number 8. Green jersey." Lisa answered.

"Well, he's a good size boy. Looks like he's got a good swing on him." John commented.

"I take him to the cages every now and again." Claire leaned back to talk to John. "He looks lean but he's got a lot of strength. He's crazy fast, too."

"This will be a good game." John nodded to them.

Dean eventually made it back with soda for Erica, Lisa and Adam, hot dogs and nachos that he handed to his father. John shook his head. "Don't want them."

"You made me go get them." Dean straightened.

"Give them to Claire."

Dean gave his father a look and stepped down to offer the nachos to Claire. She turned and smiled. "Thanks, Dean."

"No, problem." Dean glared at his father and sat on the riser between his father and Claire.

Erica jumped and cheered and drank Dean's soda. Then the game went long and Erica draped herself over Dean. Claire offered to take her but Dean shook his head. Erica snuggled into his jacket and tried to keep her eyes on the game.

Lisa nudged Claire. "He's good with her."

"He's had a bit of practice." John cleared his throat. "He helped a ton with his baby brother growing up."

"She's a lot better behaved than Sam at the same age." Dean mumbled. Erica was falling asleep fast.

"Don't spoil my kid, too much." Claire warned.

Dean watched Adam out of the corner of his eye. The kid watched the game, ate robotically. Moved around to and from the bathroom but didn't say much. Just stuck to his seat next to their dad. Watched his dad watch Claire and Lisa. They had to wait after the game for Ben to help put up equipment and find them in the stands. Lisa introduced him. "That's John, Adam and Dean. Men, this is my son, Ben, also the star of the Battle Creek Bearcat Baseball team."

"Mom."

"Where's your girlfriend?" Lisa prompted.

He groaned and buried his face in his mitt. "She dumped me for number 17."

"I knew I hated that kid." She made a face. "You can do better."

"But your fiancé has left you for greener pastures." Claire warned.

"What?" Ben found Erica drooling into Dean's jacket.

"Proposed to John this morning." Claire sighed. "He's got charm, what can I say?"

"That was a good game you played." John nodded to him. "You should get Dean to give you some pointers. You look like you've got the same build he does."

"You play baseball?"

"Not in years." Dean shook his head.

"Well, pizza?" Lisa asked the group.

"Team's going to the place on Main but I am so sick of those guys, tonight." Ben shook his head. He waved them off. "They thought it was hilarious that Rebecca left me for the other team."

"Honey." Lisa reached forward and smoothed back his hair.

"Take it from me, girls… they like heart-broken guys." Dean winked at him.

"How would you know?" John blurted out.

"I've lived some life since I last saw you, Dad." Dean cleared his throat. "Even if you're not feeling it, girls dig it. Just… be smart. Don't hook up with a girl just cause she's there."

"See there, I warned you before Tampa." John nudged him.

"You did and I didn't listen and I can never go back to Tampa." Dean nodded. Erica started to stir.

"What happened in Tampa?" Ben asked them.

"We don't talk about it, son." John cleared his throat. "It embarrasses Dean."

"Thanks for that." Dean tilted his head and had a look at Erica. "Game's over, kiddo."

"Mom?" Erica sat up.

"Right here." Claire moved into Erica's eyeline. "You hungry or you want to go to bed?"

"Did we win?"

"Sorry." Ben shook his head.

"We'll crush them next time." Erica closed her eyes and buried her face in Dean's neck.

"I should get her home." Claire stood.

"Let's get then." John stood.

"I'm hungry." Adam looked up at John. John looked at Claire and Erica and then at Dean.

"I'll take him." Dean nodded.

"Sam took my car." Claire sighed and moved to take Erica from him.

"You could ride with us." Lisa offered. "It's not far. I promise not to keep you after curfew."

John shifted his weight and Dean rapped his father's arm. "It's cool, Dad. Adam and I will go with Lisa and Ben. You and Claire take the car, get Erica in bed before she realizes she missed her date."

John looked to Claire. Claire nodded and reached again for her daughter. John took Erica from Dean and followed Claire out of the park. Dean and Adam followed the Braedens. Dean tried not to cringe when Lisa's car screeched when she started it up. Adam and Ben conversed about baseball. Dean caught Lisa staring at him through the rearview and thought about putting a kibosh on the whole thing.

At the pizza place, Ben was animated and telling his mother all about his side of things in the dugout. Then he got quiet when she asked about Rebecca. Dean watched Ben, feeling like at any minute he'd have his fill and could be satisfied that he'd done the right thing. Then Emma's face would flash into his mind and he'd be back to asking questions to keep Ben talking. Adam fell into silence and ate robotically. Lisa prompted Ben a few times to keep talking while she caught up on her meal. Then she turned the conversation to Adam and Dean. "How long are you all staying? Your dad said he'd have the car going in no time."

"Dad always says that." Dean shrugged. "A few more days, maybe. I've got to get a part ordered."

"They said they weren't… rekindling but…" Lisa tucked into her salad. "Did you see the way they are around each other?"

"Hard to tell." Dean shrugged. "They didn't break up because they didn't like each other."

"Oh?"

"Her clock was ticking and he'd smashed his."

Adam snorted at that and returned to the land of the living for a bit. Lisa tilted her head at him. "John was… hinting at a situation here."

"We didn't grow up with Adam. We… um…" Dean looked to Adam. "Found out about him not long ago. I didn't take it well."

Adam looked at Dean. "I don't remember that."

"You were… under the weather when we first met." Dean sniffed. "Sam took the news better but he'd… always hoped Dad wasn't lonely. I… just never thought of it as Dad being lonely and more as… he was still in love with my Mom."

"I tried to get him to hook up with my mom again. Once." Adam cleared his throat.

"How did that go?"

"He told me all about this beautiful woman he'd just broken up with." Adam shrugged. "Claire, I guess."

"'05?"

Adam thought about it. "Yeah."

"Yep. That was Claire." Dean nodded. "He didn't get away from me much that year. That must have been… when I was fixing up her car so she could leave us for good." Dean scratched at his forehead. "I think he was trying to set us up today."

"Why?" Lisa laughed.

"Just a feeling I got. He had me running around doing all this stuff and then… when I was done, it was for Claire. He tried to pawn her off on me back in '05, too but she's not interested in me."

"Are you interested in her?" Adam asked thoughtfully.

"Nah."

"So, Claire was like… your stepmom?" Ben asked.

"No." Dean made a face. "No. She's… more of a sister." Then he made another face. "Or… a close friend."

"You think you have time to help me with my swing?" Ben asked.

"You have good form… just need some stronger follow through. You drag the bat behind your arms instead of really swinging with it. Just need a change of posture." Dean sat back. "Swing with your whole upper body and those 2nd base throws will soar to the outfield."

Ben chewed and studied his plate. "Cool."

"I could show him." Adam offered.

Lisa frowned when Dean looked relieved and nodded. Dean looked to Adam. "You played in high school?"

"Yeah. I think Dad came to one game." Adam looked to Dean. "I don't know when I started calling him that."

"It's been a long week." Dean sat back and rubbed his belly. "Well, this was fun."

"It was." Lisa gave him a smile.

"Ugh. Mom." Ben made a face.

Dean stiffened. "We should probably get back to the house."

"Do you have plans tomorrow?"

"Mom." Ben got up to dispose of their trash.

"Dad'll have us up early to work on the car or drills." Dean tried to beg off.

"Drills?"

"Dad was a Marine." Adam offered so Dean didn't have to make something up.

"Early-thirty and all that." Dean agreed.

"Wow." Lisa stood with them to leave. "Where is it you all live?"

"Sam and I stay in Kansas."

"I'm from Minnesota." Adam supplied. They all rose to go.

Dean held the door for all of them and lingered a bit to watch Lisa walk across the parking lot. She turned and caught him looking. He rushed to look away and toss a waiter a tip before hurrying to follow the group. He was standing next to the car when she made her move. That warm hand on his arm as she balanced to put her purse in the car. When she straightened, she looked at him. "You're a good brother. I know you didn't want to come out."

Dean shrugged and nodded to the car. "He's a great kid."

"You don't like kids, do you."

"It's…" Dean cleared his throat and looked away. "Not that…"

"I didn't know you'd lost a kid." She touched his arm again.

"I don't talk about it." Dean cleared his throat again. "Let's get going before my dad sends out a search party."

The ride was mostly silent. Adam spoke up. "Hey… Dean… I told Ben I could show him some posture. Mind if we do that before we get back to Claire's?"

"I'm just a few blocks away. You can use my phone to call Claire's." Lisa offered.

"Yeah. Sure." Dean nodded and flinched at Ben's wide smile.

The house was just like Dean remembered it. Adam followed Ben to the backyard. Dean looked over the pictures on the shelf in the living room. His hands started to itch. Lisa cleared her throat. "You want something to drink?"

"Sure." Dean nodded.

"Beer?"

"Great."

He took the beer and took a long swig. He motioned around. "Claire said you're a yoga instructor."

"Yeah. Guilty." She shrugged. "Moving into private lessons, though. Rich folks pay more for privacy."

"I'll bet."

"What do you do?"

"Little of this, little of that." Dean shrugged. "Lot of… um… freelance work."

"Travel a lot?"

"More than I sit still." Dean motioned with his beer. "I uh… I never sit still long."

"I see." She sat on the arm of the couch.

"This is a great place." Dean gestured around and tried to focus on his beer.

"Yeah, got a great deal after leaving Cicero." She nodded. "Are you… scared of me or something?"

"Yeah. I think so." Dean nodded and turned away. He laughed to himself. "Honestly, any other way we met… I'd probably have torn your clothes off already."

"Oh?" She crossed her arms.

"You're Claire's friend." Dean turned. "We have an understanding with each other."

"I'm a big girl, Dean." Lisa moved closer. "I don't normally do this but… I feel like I would regret it if I didn't… ask you to the laundry room."

"The laundry room."

"It's at the front of the house. The boys are in the back."

* * *

Claire put her daughter to bed and found John flipping through her photo album in the den. "She's getting big… and fast."

"It's a good age." John nodded. "Shame Caleb didn't get to see it."

"Yeah." Claire nodded. "I miss him so much."

"Sam's not here."

"Probably going stir crazy." She shrugged. She smiled at a picture of her daughter on the handlebars of a motorcycle. "She liked New Mexico. We probably should have stayed there."

"Why didn't you?"

"They looked at me the way you did after we found out who I was… Like I was too good to be there."

"I never looked at you like that."

"Yeah you did."

"You wear motherhood well."

"I do." She grinned and put the pictures away. "She's… my everything."

"How long she had that go-bag ready?"

"Since your boys showed up."

"Smart."

"That was a long list of dead friends."

"Yeah, it was." John nodded. He glanced at his watch.

"They're fine." Claire moved around checking windows and sigils. John watched her move around. "You're staring."

"How do you know they're fine?"

"Because Adam likes Dean and Dean is Dean."

"How do you know?"

"Sam… freaks Adam out a little bit."

"The Cage?"

"I think so." Claire shrugged. "I don't actually know more than you do. Dean… rants. Sam lets a pebble drop every so often. Adam… I don't think he knows what's going on."

"I don't know why I'm back." John shoved his hands in his pants.

"No one expects you to."

"I should be…"

"Doing something? Taking charge?" Claire sighed. "They're not children. Sam and Dean have done this without you for a very long time. I don't think they expect you to take charge either. I think the suspense is killing everyone. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. Dean is barely keeping it together. Sam… I never knew him well."

"I don't like waiting."

"I know you don't." She touched his arm. "Let's go to bed."

"You want to try that again?" He tucked his chin in and grinned to the ground.

"I meant sleep but…" She shrugged. "I can't sleep another night with my kid. My shins can't take it and my back can't take it."

John slipped his hand around her back and pulled out her gun. "Maybe we disarm upstairs."

"Come on."

* * *

Dean tried not to move. The itching in his hands had died down. He could feel her hands on his hips before she leaned forward to catch her breath. He didn't want to move. He wanted to stay right where he was forever. When he let her turn around, he immediately closed in to taste the sweat on her neck, feel the weight of her breast in his hand. She moaned and panted. "Not enough time."

"No." Dean made himself straighten. "Not enough at all."

"I feel like I know you." She stepped into him and kissed his mouth. "I need to clean up before they come back inside."

"Yeah." Dean shut his eyes and shook his head to clear it. Then he went in for one more kiss before getting himself together and letting her scoot out the door. He wandered outside to watch Adam pitch a few balls to Ben. Dean took over. He did a light pitch first Adam caught it behind Dean. Then Dean really let it go. Ben's eyes went wide but he swung it and the ball went high. Adam had to jump to keep it in the yard. Dean nodded. He walked over and adjusted Ben's arms and shoulders some more. He held the kid's head for a second. "Just remember to point the bat where you want the ball to go. Not halfway, not three-quarters of the way but all the way. Swing all the way through."

"All the way through."

"Imagine bars… four bars. The middle two are where the ball is. The second two are on the outside. You want to hit all four bars when you swing at the ball."

"Hit all the bars." Ben repeated. Adam pitched the ball and Ben swung. The ball landed on the neighbor's roof.

"Good job. Just rinse and repeat." Dean winked at him. "Adam… we should…"

"Right." Adam nodded and handed the glove back to Ben. "It's probably late."

"Yeah, it is." Dean led the way back into the house. Lisa was wearing sweats and handed water bottles to them as they walked out. She lingered at the doorway to stare at Dean. Dean kept looking back as they walked away.

"So… she likes you." Adam cleared his throat.

"It won't work out." Dean shrugged his jacket higher around his neck.

"You try on her perfume?"

"Shit." Dean cursed and shut his eyes.

"How was she?"

"Don't." Dean bit out. "It's… more than it seems."

"Do you know her?" Adam motioned behind them.

"It's complicated but… she doesn't remember me but I remember her."

"That's a little twisted."

"Yeah, I know."

"So… If you know her but she doesn't know you… I mean… was it bad? Does she hate you? Or… wait, she'd probably remember that."

"Like I said. It's complicated and I never meant for that to happen." Dean noted that Sam's car was gone and the Impala was in the backyard again. Lights were off. "Let's hit the hay."

"Would she be pissed if she could remember you?" Adam stopped Dean at the front door.

"Honestly?" Dean took a breath. "I got no idea. I never waited to see how she felt. She and Ben were safer without me. Sent Claire to check on them when we got real deep. I hadn't seen him since he was 12."

"Sucks."

"I don't… care a whole lot about people in general. I care about family. Lisa and Ben were my family." Dean opened the front door. He stepped over the salt and locked it after Adam was inside. Adam sat on the couch, pulled a blanket over himself and turned on the TV with the captions on. Dean found his bottle and poured himself a glass. He smelled his shirt and groaned. He was headed to find himself a piece of floor when he found Erica on the stairs. "You still up?"

"I slept too much at the game." She pouted.

"Where's your mom?"

"Kissing your dad in her room."

"Gross." Dean made a face.

"Yeah."

"You need something?"

"Can you read me a story?"

"Just one?"

"Just one."

* * *

TBC


	6. Chapter 5 - Just a stupid Cupid

Chapter 5 – Just a stupid Cupid running his mouth.

* * *

Claire woke late and had to rush around to get her kid together for school. Dean already had the coffee going and Sam was already pacing the floor with his laptop. When she got back, Dean had a plate for her in the microwave. She sat to eat while she waited for him to say something. Dean sat back and watched her for a long time. Smirking. She ate and ignored him. He just kept smirking at her and drinking his coffee.

"What?"

"Erica was awake when we got home. Said she wanted a story but her mom was kissing my dad in her room."

"Shit." Claire tossed her fork down. "Shut up."

"Not judging."

"Yeah."

"So, did he propose?"

"Fuck you." Claire groaned. "It is what it is. I don't expect a damn thing from John Winchester. I've learned my lessons."

"Please tell me you used protection, one surprise sibling is enough for one lifetime."

"Please." Claire picked up her fork. "You seem… relaxed today."

"Why wouldn't I be relaxed?"

"Yesterday you looked ready to murder and now… cool as a cucumber."

"He banged Lisa last night." Adam revealed, grabbed a soda from the fridge and disappeared again.

"What?" Claire threw her fork at Dean. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"I… wasn't." Dean shook his head. "She… was really convincing."

"She jumped you?" Claire smirked.

"Yeah." Dean nodded. "I felt… good. I mean, that she was… chasing me. I feel like shit, now."

"She…" Claire tilted her head at him.

"Said she knew the score."

"So you got time with Lisa, did you get your time with Ben?"

"I did." Dean nodded. "I gave him some pointers. It was… normal. I didn't want to leave."

"Dean…" Claire didn't have the words. "Your life sucks. I'm sorry. Why would you choose to have them forget you?"

"So… they wouldn't come looking for me. After I left them? I got locked in Purgatory. I was… different when I came back from there. I couldn't see the light though I knew the sun was shining. After the leviathans and Purgatory and trying to close hell and heaven and getting Sam back and taking the mark… I… uh…" Dean shook his head. "I'm not safe to hang around people."

"You're stronger than you think, Dean." Claire sipped her coffee and looked around. "We all… run because we're… scared or telling ourselves that it's safer but… really? We all think we're not strong enough to handle a real life. You… all the things that have happened to you… A weaker person would have backed down or given in but you're still fighting."

"I feel like I'm going crazy."

"You are different from the man I met back in '05. You are stronger, more mature and you've been through Hell and Purgatory and only God knows what else. You're still here and… bless you, you're still taking care of everyone. It's okay to be taken care of, you know."

"It was hard learning how to do it that first time… it would be so much harder now. I've… seen and done so much since things were good between me and Lisa." Dean shook his head. "I shouldn't see her again."

"Morning." John stumbled in.

"It is the crack of eight in the morning. Sun's been up for two hours and you're just stumbling out of bed." Dean mimicked his father's lecture from years ago.

"I was wore out." John grumbled.

"I'll bet." Dean muttered into his coffee. He got his head smacked for that. "Ow."

Claire smirked at Dean. John settled into a chair next to her, hand on her leg. A moment later, Sam rushed in with his laptop. "Hey Dean, I was surfing through the Men of Letter archives and there was a theory about Cupid. They were referring to the Greek Cupid and not the Angelic host of Cupids but I figure it all must run close together."

"Yeah?"

"There's a theory that once you're struck by Cupid's Arrow, there's no escaping it. You have to be with the one you're paired with… even if that person is the most repulsive person you've ever met."

Dean sat back and glanced at his dad. "So, that's worst case scenario?"

"Well, if you're chosen to be in a couple selected by a god, only death can release you from it but even then..." Sam's eyes landed on his father's hand on Claire's knee and shook his head. "There are people who never love again once their spouse is gone. Worst case is Psyche who fell in love with Cupid himself. She was subjected to years of torture, going to hell and back to be with him only to be killed by her own curiosity."

"Point, Sam?" Dean rubbed his head.

"It's like Mom and Dad. They were hit with a cupid's arrow and they fought. A lot. They kept getting back together. They were compelled."

"Who told you that?" John frowned at Sam, gripping his coffee cup in both hands.

"It's not important." Dean waved him off. "Just a stupid Cupid running his mouth."

"People do dangerous things for love. Maybe it's about the arrow." Sam pointed out. "Stupid things."

"There's not a literal arrow." Dean ignored Sam's look.

"No… there's a mark. Remember?"

"Shit." Dean groaned. "We can't go around finding people with Enochian Cupid marks on their hearts."

"It was just interesting." Sam got up again to return to his corner of the house. "Given what people do around here. Maybe it's better to know than not know."

"What in the hell is up with your brother?" John pointed after Sam.

"He's ticked at me." Dean pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You know… Dean… maybe that's why you can't stay away from Lisa." Claire pointed out.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I'm pretty sure that's what gets you into trouble." Claire muttered into her cup.

"You're one to talk. You're the one fucking an old man that I'm not even sure can be classified as alive."

"Um… sure. Undead, Mark of Cain, Dean. You tell Lisa that bit of joy before you let her talk you into bed."

"Children." John muttered. Then he cleared his throat. "What was he talking about? Me and your mom fighting?"

Dean shrugged. "That time you moved out for a few days when we were kids."

"He was a baby…"

"I remembered." Dean stared at his cup of coffee.

"Why would you remember that?"

"I was the man of the house and I was taking care of Mom. I was proud of myself."

"You were four."

"Yeah. I was four years old and I had to comfort Mom when you were gone." Dean worried at his lip for a moment. "Makes me glad I don't have kids that have to clean up my messes all the time." He shoved away from the table and stormed outside.

Claire looked to John. "That's about more than just you."

"I figured." John looked at her. "You care he slept with your friend?"

"I just don't want him to hurt her."

"But you don't care?"

"John… Dean and I are friends. We're not like that."

"I just feel like I stepped in it. Or like… Nevermind." He waved her off.

"You think I found out they slept together and seduced you?" Claire stared at him. "I didn't know that Dean slept with Lisa until this morning. Quit. Whatever's in your head. Quit."

"Sure." John inhaled the rest of his coffee and got up to get at some more.

Claire fiddled with her breakfast and her coffee cup. "So what was the big fight about?"

"What fight?"

"The one that made you move out with two little ones at home?"

"I was overwhelmed. Work and home and the kids and wanting more time with my wife but she was always busy with the kids or sleeping cause I worked late. I just always felt like I wasn't good enough. I'm not nice when I'm on edge like that."

"I know." She reminded him.

"I guess you do."

"Where's Dean?" Castiel appeared in the kitchen.

"Outside."

"We have to be quick. Dean volunteered to time travel to help save a soul but… he can't be trusted to do what needs to be done alone." Castiel glanced out the window.

"I don't understand." Claire shook her head.

"I need you to go with him. I need you to make sure that nothing changes the timeline."

"Who is the target?"

"In the future… he will kill Crowley and Crowley found out who he is and knows who his mother is."

"Then I can go if Dean can't do this." John offered.

"You don't have the mark and I suspect we're going to need it. The only other way is to convince the Cain of that time and that will be an impossibility."

"How do you know?" John prompted.

"The Cain that Dean killed had not committed a murder in quite some time. The angel that Crowley has enlisted has already been sent but I don't know what exact time. I do know… what they don't."

"Which is what?"

"Something I cannot tell any of you if I want this campaign to succeed."

"Hey Cas." Dean walked in.

"It's time." Castiel put his hand on Dean's head and then on Claire's.

John blinked. They were just gone. Adam stood in the doorway with his empty can. "You see that?"

"Yeah." Adam nodded. "Where'd they go?"

"Back in time, maybe?" John breathed. "Sam!"

"What?" Sam looked between them. "What?"

"That angel showed again and took Dean and Claire to save someone's life."

"When?" Sam sighed.

"Don't know. Said in the future he kills Crowley?"

"Shit. Does Crowley know?"

"Said he did."

"Fuck." Sam groaned. "I'd call on Castiel but he's probably passed out somewhere in time."

Adam raised his hand. "How long are they going to be gone?"

"I don't know." John shrugged.

"Sometimes it's instantaneous for us, the people who aren't traveling." Sam nodded to himself.

"What happens if they're not back in time to pick up Erica from school?" Adam cleared his throat. "They had pretty strict rules about who picks up a kid when I was in school… can't imagine they got any laxer since I've been dead."

"Instantaneous you said." John gestured around them.

"Depends… on… things." Sam looked around. "Lisa. I'll bet Lisa is on the list of people who can pick Erica up from school."

"And who here among us does she trust to just… call for a favor." Adam gestured.

"I got it." Sam looked around. "Where is Claire's phone?"

"Upstairs, charging." John answered. He felt like he should have been ready for the look but he wasn't. "Yeah. I slept with Claire."

"I'll get it." Adam left them to their awkward moment.

"You just… picked up where you left off?" Sam bit out.

"No. Where we left off is none of your business. You ran out on your family and so… you weren't there when I met Claire. What happened last night… is none of your business."

"Claire is Dean's friend."

"I know. And they're both fine with the situation."

"You just come back from the dead and bang the first woman you see?"

"If I had done that, it would have taken me a bit longer to catch up to you all. Claire and I have a history that you and Dean don't know about."

"Got it!" Adam thundered down the stairs already mid-text. "Lis. Could I beg a favor? Can you pick up Erica from school?" He looked at them then at the answering text. "What's going on?" Adam looked at them again and made a face. "Going away with John for a couple of days to… see where it leads. Sam and Adam are watching Erica for me. I forgot to put them on the list."

"What?" John barked.

"She's a single mom. She gets it." Adam waggled his eyebrows. They stared at him. "What? There was a time when I got picked up by a neighbor because Mom had… been waylaid."

"You're… kind of weird." Sam took a seat at the table.

Adam laughed at the text. "Have a good time. I got the school. I'll even bring dinner cause I know men don't cook. Where's Dean?" Adam tapped away. "Dean left to take care of some stuff at home. He'll be back."

"Kay. I'll just… stay out of sight when she comes." John nodded. "What are you working on, Sam?"

"Men of Letters archives for anything that will help." Sam made a face. "Claire's got a library in the attic. She's also got a stash in her car. I think she was ready to run if we turned out to be crazy."

"Well, she's smart." John crossed his arms. "Adam. Help me get her books together."

"How… what?"

"You're young and strong and you're watching too much TV." John clapped him on the shoulders.

* * *

TBC


	7. Chapter6-Come wth me if you want to live

Chapter 6 – Come with me if you want to live.

* * *

Dean tumbled to the ground. "Dammit Cas. A little more warning, next time."

"I didn't have time." Castiel hit the ground.

"What the fuck." Claire gripped her middle.

"When are we?" Dean got Castiel over his shoulders and looked around. They were in an alley. Castiel was already passed out. 'Shit."

"What do we do with him?" Claire gripped a wall and waited for the nausea to pass.

"He's burned out." Dean hefted him and looked around. The alley let out to town streets. Claire found a phone book and they got Castiel into a motel room in Fishers, Indiana. Dean paced. "Fishers. Sounds familiar."

"1998." Claire motioned to the newspaper. "I asked to use the internet and they directed me to the town library."

"Fishers." Dean groaned. "Castiel didn't say anything to you about who we're looking for."

"Just that you might… not want to do this."

"Let's go get a car while we puzzle this one out." Dean hung the do not disturb sign as they left. At the convenience store on the corner, Dean picked up a map while he waited for Claire to freshen up. He eyed the parking lot and this store didn't have cameras. Claire peered over his shoulder. "This area is familiar. Really familiar."

"Indiana. Ben always talks about living in Indiana."

"Fuck me." Dean snapped the map shut. "I used to run to Fishers for fucking sports equipment when the Cicero shops ran low. Lisa had a doctor she saw in Fishers, too. 1998?"

"Yeah."

"Fuck."

"Dean, what is it?"

He grabbed a newspaper and looked at the date. Then he counted on his fingers. "Ben. We're here about Ben." His jaw trembled. "She'd be pregnant by now."

Claire did the math. "She'd just be finding out." She turned to the clerk. "There a Planned Parenthood in town?"

"Fuck."

Claire drove while Dean stewed. "You okay?"

"No." Dean breathed. "Maybe it's not Lisa."

"Coincidence? I stopped believing in those."

"Me, too."

* * *

Claire pulled in and just watched for a long time. "Maybe I should go in."

"What?"

"To have a look around."

"Why are we even here? Lisa said she never considered this."

"It's a doctor's office." Claire glared at him. "Maybe she's got an appointment to confirm she's pregnant."

"What?"

"Dean, the first time a woman walks into a Planned Parenthood? It's to find out if she's right about being pregnant. They don't do abortions on the spot. You have to have counseling and read pamphlets and wade through a bunch of folk who don't want you to have a decision about it."

"That's shitty."

"That's a woman's world for you." Claire chugged a bottle of water. "I'm going in. You want to wait here or you want to come in?"

"I'll… fuck." Dean followed her inside. Everything inside made his skin crawl. He studied the faces. Scared, anxious, nervous… and one hugely pregnant woman with a thick book on her belly and a bag of chips by her side.

Claire sat next to him with a clipboard. "She's not in the waiting room but she might be inside. I saw her name on the list."

"Maybe she's already gone."

"It's early in the day." Claire shook her head. "Look at that one, she's about to pop. I remember those days. Big and full of baby. Uncomfortable."

"But you get to eat all the time."

"And the heartburn. Sleepless nights." Claire leaned on him. "When I was pregnant with Sebastien… I thought it would never end. So horrible at the end and then… he was here and I held him and… he was so perfect. You never see such a perfect thing in life except a newborn baby. Oh… and when Erica was born. That look on Caleb's face. I'll never forget it."

"The first time I saw Emma… I was… struck."

"I'll bet she was pretty."

"For some reason I thought she'd be more… menacing. She was just… pretty. Scared. Least she pretended to be, I guess." Dean settled into his chair. "I wanted to bury her properly but Sam wouldn't let me give her a hunter's funeral. We buried her like a monster."

"I'm sorry." Claire started to lay her hand on his arm but movement caught her eye and she sat up. "There she is."

Dean stared. She was so young. "I was just up to see her a month or so ago."

"What are the chances that's your kid?"

"She said it was some other guy she met around the same time." Dean lifted a brochure to cover his face.

"She told me the story of her misspent youth. Wild times and casual encounters."

"We spent three days together, locked in her loft. We barely came up for air."

Claire grinned. "Wow. Dean. I didn't know you had the stamina."

"I was all stamina back then."

"Lisa's my friend. I think she's beautiful but man, she was smokin' as a pretty young thing." Claire tilted her head at the young brunette. "She could do so much better than you."

"Where are you right now? The '98 you."

"Kansas City. I'm trying to do a double course load while potty-training Sebastien."

"So… your kid would have been around the same age as Ben."

"Just about." She nodded. "He was born in '96. I got sent home to get my life together and I ended up requesting discharge. I hadn't dealt with my parents' estates yet and when I tried to get word about his dad…"

"The Navyman?"

"He was fun for a night."

"Mrs. Bailey?"

Claire hopped up to the counter. "I'm sorry, Ma'am. We're a little booked today. Appointments, that is. You'll have to wait a while to be seen."

"How long?"

"I don't know. If someone cancels, we can squeeze you in. I can get you a cup to pee in for the test but a doctor can't see you until there's a room."

"Got it. I got all day. Week. You know."

"Bailey?" Dean asked when she sat down again.

"I didn't want to use a name that would get recognized."

"She doesn't know us now."

"Shut up." Claire picked up a magazine and put it in his hands. "At least pick something that's got more than two pages." Claire worked a crossword from the newspaper she brought with her. She watched Lisa fiddle with her nails. Do some math with her fingers. Lift her eyes to the ceiling to pray, probably. When she was called back, her hands were shaking. Claire kept working on her puzzle. She took the cup to the bathroom when it was given to her. She bumped into Lisa on her way out.

"Sorry." Lisa sniffed.

"No big. Just glad I didn't spill." Claire set the cup on the counter and waved at the nurse.

"I hate this place." Lisa muttered and signed her paperwork and glared at the nurse when she gave her the script.

Claire followed her out when she stormed out. "You okay?"

"I'm sorry. I just… that doctor…" Lisa scrubbed at her face. "He wants me to take these pills and I know what they are. It's too late if… what an asshole. He also made me an appointment for next week even though I said I didn't want it."

"It's an appointment." Claire held her hands out. "You don't have to go."

"Shouldn't I?" Lisa held her hands out. "I'm a slut. I get it. I'm too young to have a kid but… what if I want it? What if this is a sign?"

"You want to go somewhere? Talk? You look like you need to talk."

"Don't you have an appointment?"

"I'm waitlisted and … I'm pretty sure this can wait. I got nine months on my sentence. Waiting another day to see the doctor is not going to change that." Claire held her hand out. "I'm Darlene."

"Lisa." Lisa took her hand. "This is so… overwhelming and I can't talk to my mom or my sister."

"It's okay." Claire moved in and put her arm around her. "Look there's a shop at the end of the block. We can get a bit of coffee… or tea. Cause I think we're both better off with tea around now."

Lisa leaned on her as they walked. Claire was a bit startled at how trusting Lisa was. Waitress took one look at them and took them to a corner booth hidden away around a corner. Waitress leaned on the table. "You girls got that look. You been around the corner?" Claire nodded. "I'll keep the strays away. Coffee, tea, soda?"

Claire ordered for them. Tea and French fries. Claire used a glass of water to clean up Lisa's face. "What happened? No judgment. Just get it out."

Claire could see Dean settling in at the front of the café. Lisa sniffed. "I missed my period and I freaked. I've been out more than usual. My dad passed away and I just… anyway. I'm pretty sure I know which guy but he had that look. No way to get a hold of him and that's just what I was looking for. Someone I could use and forget. There were a few."

"That's okay. We all go through it. We all have those days." Claire brushed her hair back. "I was your age when I enlisted. My folks died when I was overseas. Hooked up with the next guy I saw. Left me a present before he ran off and got himself killed."

"Oh my god."

"I'm not saying my story is worse than yours. But we've all got them. Okay?"

Lisa nodded and sipped her tea when it appeared. She stared at the fries for a long moment before she gave in and ate five in quick succession. "I never eat junk food."

"It's hard not to. Twinkies are my weakness. When I was pregnant with my first, I ate them all the time… Then I spent hours running around to burn them off. When I was pregnant with my second... Nachos… all the time… I don't even like nachos."

"You have two kids?"

"One. One kid. My first… he died when he was little. Then I went a little… shacked up with one of those sketchy dudes that hang out in bars during the day. Met my love through him. That was fast and furious and then my darling girl was on the way. She's nine now."

"I'm sorry." Lisa nibbled on a fry. "The one… that I'm sure is the father. I met him in a bar. He's cute. I think he thinks he's hard. But he's got such a baby face. Like… it hasn't settled yet. Lips too big for his face, eyes though… green and bit intense. There's a darkness there."

"Handsome?"

"Oh yeah. His smile… could make you melt. I did. I melted… right into bed, for three days. Barely even came up for air." Lisa grinned to her cup, chewed on her lip for a second before taking a small sip. "I thought I was being careful. I didn't realize what time of the month it was… and then my time of the month came and went and nothing. I had my follow-up today and the doctor was a complete asshole."

"Yeah, what happened there? It sounded… weird."

"He went on and on about my reckless behavior and I was too young to do this kind of thing. So he says he's going to prescribe me some pills. It's late but they could solve the problem for me. Then he set an appointment to follow up on the pills and possibly take care of it if they didn't work. He didn't even ask me what I wanted."

"Just another man trying to tell a woman what to do with her own body." Claire sipped her tea. "What do you want?"

"Time to think about it. I know there's not a lot of time to think about it before it's really too late. He's not wrong. I'm too young but when am I going to be ready? Never?"

"You're never ready." Claire sniffed. "I was alone, totally, when I had my son. Everything was new and terrifying but I did it. He was… five when he was killed. I never thought I'd want kids again. I met a man… it was bad, it was good, it was… not real but I got to that place where I wanted to have kids. I found a man that I loved and fucked it up. We tried to stick it out after I found out I was pregnant. We… were… working it out. Then she came and even though I'd done it before… it was like I hadn't. I knew baby boys. I didn't know baby girls."

"I could do this." Lisa sat up. "I can do this."

"Good."

"What?"

"That you know what you want. That's the first part. Knowing what you want." Claire furrowed her brow when Dean straightened up and put his hand on his gun.

"You expecting again?"

"I hope not. Too old to do it again."

"But what if you are?" Lisa sipped her tea and reached for more fries.

"Then I guess… I'll handle it. My girl could probably use some company."

"What happened to her father?"

"He died. Sometimes I feel like death is everywhere but then… my girl smiles at me. Best feeling in the world."

"I want that." Lisa sniffed again. "I just… I feel like I disappointed so many people."

"So… don't disappoint that bun in your oven."

"I'm so glad I met you." Lisa reached for Claire's hand.

"Me, too."

"They're here!" Dean called across the room.

Claire grabbed Lisa's hand and yanked her out of the booth. They ran through the kitchen and out the backdoor as Dean fired a few shots at the three demons who stormed the entrance. Lisa screamed but followed Claire out. Claire pulled out her gun as they broke into the alley. Dean was right on their heels. "Lisa, you have to trust me."

"What's happening?" Lisa wrenched her hand free of Claire's.

"My friend and I are going to keep you safe. There are people who want to hurt you." Claire kept in Lisa's face even as she scanned the alley for demons. "You have to trust me."

"Why should I? I haven't met a single person I can trust today." Lisa held herself and started to back away.

Claire reached for anything she could use. "Your mother's name is Susannah. Your sister's name is Theresa. You used to call yourselves the Susasas."

"How did you know that?" Lisa's face paled.

"I know you… or… I will. Our children will be friends someday." Claire promised. "We'll supervise sleepovers and gossip over wine together. We'll support each other through bad times and celebrate good times together."

Lisa stopped moving. "Why would someone try to kill me?"

"Because that doctor wasn't a doctor. He tried to get you to take some pills that would be bad for the baby and then to schedule an abortion, right?"

"Right… but why?"

"Your son… grows up to be… amazing and they don't want that to happen."

"Let's go!" Dean shouted as he walked out of the backdoor. "We can't circle back around front. Just keep going."

"Dean?" Lisa stepped away. "What are you doing here?"

"Long story." Dean led the way down the alley. Claire kept Lisa walking in time. He snorted. "Come with me if you want to live."

Lisa let Claire tuck her under her arm. "I just don't understand any of this."

"I know. Let's get someplace safe so we can talk about it." Claire shushed her.

"I'm going to have a son?" Lisa asked her. "It's going to be a boy?"

"Yeah." Claire nodded.

"I'm going to name him after my father." Lisa decided as they walked.

"It's a good name." Dean nodded as they paused so Claire could break into a car while he kept his eye out for more demons.

"What?" Lisa blinked at him. "What happened to you?" Dean just stared back at her. "I saw you last month… you were baby-faced and…" She stepped forward to touch the scars on his face. "Young."

"Get in." Claire told them as she slipped beneath the dash to get the car going. Dean shoved her out of the way so he could drive.

Claire peered over the backseat at Lisa. "We're the good guys, I want you to remember that."

Lisa nodded, her eyes on Dean. "Is he from the future too?"

"Yes." Claire nodded.

"Are we…" Lisa trailed off as she motioned to Dean and herself. "In the future?"

"No." Dean barked out and hunched over, refusing to look at anyone while he drove and kept his eye out for demons. They had to get out of town.

Claire cleared her throat as she remembered something Castiel said. "I want you to remember something after we get you out of this… Never tell anyone who the father of your child is. No one. Ever. Don't get a blood test. Don't give out theories. No one."

"Why?"

"They've come after you and we're going to save your life. The only other way to prevent Ben from living… is to kill the father of your child before he meets you."

"What?" Lisa's eyes flicked to Dean and Claire's eyes widened.

"Don't." Claire held out her hand to Lisa. "Don't say it." Claire looked at Dean but he was still too hunched over to see the backseat through the rearview. "She never told you who his father was, right?"

"Nah." Dean shook his head. "Just always said it was some barback she met in a biker bar."

"Okay."

"I've only been to two biker bars… ever." Lisa shook her head.

"Don't say it out loud." Claire warned. "Never say it out loud. Not even to us. A demon gets near us… they'll pluck it right out."

Lisa nodded. "Did you say… demon?"

"It's complicated." Claire looked to Dean. "She knows about this stuff?"

"No. Next time I see her… no." Dean shook his head. "I know what that means." He kept his voice low. "At some point… some Angel is going to wipe her memory of this visit."

"Hopefully." Claire sighed and gave him a look. "This is a pattern that I don't like… for my friend."

"Lisa's fine." Dean shrugged her off.

"I meant you, too."

"Can you just… explain this?" Lisa took a breath and then covered her mouth. "I'm gonna be sick."

"Do it out the window. We can't afford to stop." Dean shook his head.

"Head to Ohio." Claire told him. "My family's cabin is empty. I don't think I sell it until next year. I'll even bet the power is still on."

* * *

TBC


	8. Chapter 7 - You're not supposed to lie

Chapter 7 – You're not supposed to lie.

* * *

Lisa picked up Erica from school. The girl was getting tall. "How was school?"

"Boring." Erica groaned but climbed into the backseat of the Braedan SUV. "Where's my mom?"

"Um…" Lisa made a noise in her throat. "She went on a trip with her friend. She'll be back in a couple of days."

"Which friend?"

"John."

"Oh." Erica made a face.

"What's wrong?" Lisa laughed as she steered them to the high school to get Ben.

"They were kissing last night."

"Oh?"

"They shut the door." Erica sighed and stared out the window. "I was really hoping that Mom was going to fall in love with Dean."

"Yeah? Why?"

"He looks like he'd be a good dad."

"Did you tell your mom that?"

"No. Cause they're always fighting… and then Dean's dad came and she just stares at John all the time."

"Do you like John?"

"He reads me good stories. Sam only reads out of the books and he reads word for word, no voices. Dean makes stuff up about the pictures and hardly ever looks at the words. John tells the story mostly the way it's written but then he adds pirates and dragons."

"That sounds awesome."

"It is." Erica groaned. "He's old, though. Dean's old like Mom and John's old enough to be old like my mom when Dean was little like me. I said he looked like a Grandpa and he got upset."

"Maybe he wants to be a grandpa." Lisa pulled the car to a stop and turned to look at the girl.

"Maybe. If Mom married Dean, then I would be his grandkid."

"You're stuck on Dean as your dad, huh."

"He says he knew my dad."

"Oh. I didn't know that."

"Mom knew Dean a long, long time ago before I was born and he knew my dad before my dad knew my mom."

"Hey munchkin." Ben threw open the door and flopped into the car. "No practice. No homework. I'm going to sleep for a week."

"Or maybe just until it's time for school tomorrow." Lisa smacked him. "Let's go get some dinner for Sam and Adam."

"I'm sick of pizza." Erica made a face.

"Do they eat a lot?"

"Yes. Sam eats the whole bag of salad by himself. Mom had to buy two bags the last time so that her and Adam could have some, too. Dean doesn't eat salad because it's for barnyard animals. Adam ate all the chips in the house and all the cookies, even the ones Mom made when the store cookies were gone. John ate Mom's twinkies and Dean drinks all the yucky stuff in the back of the cabinet."

Lisa laughed. "I guess it's been a zoo at your house."

* * *

Sam paced the floor with his laptop and kept checking his watch. His father was reading and cleaning guns in the garage. Adam was dozing under a half dozen blankets and one of Dean's hoodies. When the SUV pulled up, Sam called out. "Dad, they're here. Stay hidden."

Lisa let herself in. She and Ben were carrying bags. Sam rushed to help. "You went shopping?"

"Well, Erica gave us some hints about eating habits. We brought dinner but also some stuff in case she was out." Lisa let the way to the kitchen. She put away the salad stuff and set dinner on the table. "Twinkies. If Claire comes back to a house without twinkies, we are all in trouble."

"Yeah… Dad kind of… cleaned out her stash." Sam found the bags of chips. "And Adam ate all the chips."

"Can I call your dad, Pop-pop?" Erica stared up at Sam.

"You should ask him when he comes back." Sam tried to hold back a smile.

"That would be hilarious." Adam shambled into the kitchen with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. "I want to call him Pop-pop."

"You okay?" Lisa shoved Adam into a chair and laid her hand on his head. "You're warm. Claire's got some medicine around here someplace."

Sam put away groceries and let Lisa mother Adam. Adam ate it up and took his medicine and a box of local fair. Sam was pleased to see that a box with his name on it was filled with meatloaf and steamed vegetables. Then noted that there were only boxes for the six of them. Sam set his box aside and pretended to be focused on something else.

Lisa watched Ben and Erica eat while she fussed over Adam. The kid had a low fever and a bad case of the chills. She put his box of food in the fridge and found some soup for him. She looked to Sam. "Warm liquids for him. Tylenol in the cabinet. If that fever doesn't break or gets higher, he needs a doctor."

"Got it." Sam nodded and picked at his vegetables.

"Maybe I should just take Erica with me to my house." Lisa fidgeted.

"Please." Erica perked up at that. Then she looked around and slumped over. "Can you call my mom and ask her?"

Adam's eyes popped open but he didn't move or look at anyone. Sam fidgeted. "I'm sure it'd be okay. I mean… she says Erica stays with you guys all the time and… I hate to admit this but I know very little about kids."

"But Mom said…" Erica's nostrils flared. "She said I couldn't anymore."

"Why?" Lisa moved over to smooth her hair back.

"Because I asked Ben to marry me."

"Oh. I see." Lisa knelt. "I'll call your mom."

Adam began fidgeting a bit and Sam went still. Sam cleared his throat. "You know if… my brother were here, he'd be all over this. He's awesome with kids. I just don't have the life experience he does."

"I do?" Adam looked at Sam as he tried to make sure the volume was off on Claire's phone without alerting anyone to the fact he had it.

"Dean… he's… he practically raised me and he's dated women with kids… you know…" Sam cleared his throat again when he heard the buzzing in Adam's blanket. Adam quickly hit a button.

"Voicemail. That's not like her." Lisa sighed and waited. "Claire, it's Lisa. Adam's running a fever and if it gets bad the men will have to run out in the middle of the night. I was thinking Erica could come with me for the night so they can run him if they need to and not worry about waking her up in the middle of the night or waking up early to run her to school in the morning… just… call me back."

Adam looked at Erica. "You're a superhonest kid. I would have totally left out the part where my mom said I couldn't do something that I could do before."

"Mom makes me do extra definitions when I lie." Erica groaned. Ben nudged her. She made a face at him. He made a face back. She giggled.

"Well, how about I leave my phone number. You boys call me if anything happens. I'm glad to step in and I'm very sure we could make an exception… in an emergency."

"Thanks." Sam nodded. "And thanks for the groceries."

"No problem. I owe Claire at least that by now. So don't even worry about it."

Sam walked Lisa and Ben to the door and let his father out of the garage on his way back. He found Erica picking at her dinner and making faces at Adam who was sipping soup out of a mug. John walked in and put his hand on Adam's forehead. "Aspirin?"

"Tylenol and soup, prescribed by the only mother left to us." Adam muttered.

"I thought my mom went on a trip with you." Erica froze, a piece of broccoli sticking out of her mouth.

"She went on a trip with Dean." Sam tried to explain, retrieving Adam's box of dinner for his father.

"She did?" Erica perked up. "Are they getting married?"

"I don't think so." Sam told her.

"Where did they go?"

"That Angel took them on a hunting trip." John tucked into his dinner.

"I want to talk to her." Erica demanded.

"She left her phone." Adam set it on the table.

"Why did you lie to Lisa?"

"It's hunting and we're not supposed to talk to her about hunting." Sam tried to explain.

"You're not supposed to lie." Erica removed herself to the table and they could hear her stomp up the stairs. Adam stole the remainder of her dinner.

John glanced up to the ceiling as the music turned on. He ate meatloaf and mashed potatoes that were still slightly warm. "She's got a little 'tude on her."

"Yeah but she's right." Sam sighed. "Nine year old logic."

"She's a totally better kid than I was. I never would have mentioned the kibosh on sleepovers." Adam groaned when the broccoli didn't sit well and took the roll to dip in his soup.

"You take Claire's bed tonight, huh." John watched the sweat gather on Adam's forehead.

"We need to get him to a doctor." Sam shook his head.

"Maybe." John stretched his arms out. "You still got the fakes in the car?"

"We can pass him for Dean on some of those. Just need an ID. All that stuff is in the trunk." Sam made a face. "Dean's better at it, though."

"We don't have Dean." John reminded him. "Get the kit, we'll get him some ID just in case."

Sam was standing in the backyard with the trunk open and the kit in his hands when something about the way the house looked bothered him. He couldn't put his finger on it. He stared up at the house while he walked back in but couldn't find the anomaly. Adam scrubbed his face and tamed his hair for a couple of pictures. He sipped soup while Sam fussed around the house.

"You hanging in there?" John asked.

"Yeah. Our planet is weird. Been catching up on TV, playing with Dean's smartphone. It's a lot of change."

"Yeah." John nodded as he cut the pictures that Sam had printed off Claire's computer.

"Hey um… Erica asked if she could call you Pop-pop." Adam laughed.

"That kid is cute as a button, she can call me whatever she wants." John motioned around. "Coming along as a hunter as I understand it."

"Don't know that she's been hunting. I think Claire lets her tag along sometimes if it's not too dangerous."

"I used to do that with m… the boys." John nodded. "Sometimes even when it was too dangerous."

"That why you didn't tell me?"

"I figured you'd gotten a normal life and I shouldn't drag you into it. All this… it was about my wife, their mother. Dean… finished that hunt if I understand it."

"They still hunt."

"Well, they got dragged into a bigger fight. Then you got dragged into it. I always thought it was bigger but I never got the chance to understand the full scope. You three stopped it."

"Not sure I get credit for stopping it."

"You played a part and you had to sacrifice… not only for this family but for the world. You get credit." John murmured. "I spent some time in hell. It's not easy time. Where I was, they like to torture in all the worst ways beyond imagination and they promise to stop… if you start doing those unimaginable things to other people. I could never do that. I didn't have to… The boys got me a window. They got me out. I don't know where I been since then but anything was better than Hell."

"I was in the Cage." Adam shivered deeper into his blankets. "I remember huddling in the corner. I remember someone or something covering me… for a long time. I remember when that stopped. When I was alone. With them. The whole time I could hear screaming but it wasn't human. It wasn't… I think if I had ears like I do on earth… they would have been bleeding."

"I'm sorry."

"Trying to figure out how to be a person with that stuff in my head."

"It's why I drink. To forget I was once a person who didn't know what that stuff was."

"What was the worst thing you ever saw?"

"My four year old son changing my six month old son's diaper because I was too drunk to do it myself." John sniffed and polished off his dinner. "I watched my six year old son bull's eye a row of bottles while shooting for the first time because he thought it would make me proud. I had a fight with my 17 year old son about going away to school and it wasn't because we couldn't afford it, we couldn't… but it was because I didn't know how to keep him safe if he went away to school." He sat back and watched Adam shiver in his blankets. "I can file away the demons and rawheads and psychotics but I can't forgive the way I shredded my children's innocence."

Sam came thundering down the stairs. "Erica is gone."

* * *

TBC


	9. Chapter 8 - We don't get what we want

Chapter 8 – We don't get what we want.

* * *

It was evening as Dean pulled the car into the dirt driveway and Claire got out to find a way in. Dean pulled the gate closed behind the car they'd stolen. Claire climbed the trellis to her old bedroom and found the window was still unlatched. She climbed in to the smell of must. Her room was just the way she'd left it the summer before she enlisted. Pictures and stationary on the desk. Claire held her knife and checked room to room on her way to let them in. She flicked the kitchen light on before she let them in the backdoor. Dean whistled as he stepped inside. "Dad said you had money, I didn't know it was this kind of money."

"It was my parents' money." Claire clarified. "When I got home from Bosnia, I sold everything and bought a little house just for us. I forgot about this place for a long while. Bathroom's through there."

Lisa hotfooted in that direction while Claire took inventory. Fridge had nothing in it. Freezer had some food that looked suspiciously recent. She hefted a few items out and set to getting them a meal that wouldn't kill them. Dean helped himself to the bar in the parlor. Lisa returned and looked around. "This is a nice place."

"We came out every summer so that my folks could get away from their tiresome lives and so I could… run wild without the neighbors seeing me." She ran a finger through the dust, it was thin.

"You were going to tell me a story." Lisa reminded her when she returned.

"Yes. Bad things out there. Angels. Time travel." Claire ran a hand through her hair. "Believe me, we weren't sure we were going to deal with most of that when we woke up this morning."

"How far into the future are you from?"

"You and Dean in there are about the same age, I think."

"Wow." Lisa took the water when it was offered. "How do I get mixed up with Demons? I mean… am I mixed up with demons? Are demons code for something?"

"Unfortunately not." Claire plated up some chicken and vegetables. Lisa dug in. Dean paced around the house, peering out windows. "We weren't given a lot of details. Save the mother, save the world."

"What?"

"Don't worry about it. The cabin is dusty but safe and warm." Claire told her. She moved around and cupped Lisa's face. "You are so young."

"Someone's coming." Dean cleared his throat and gestured toward the flashing lights pulling up the drive.

"Shit." Claire splashed water on her face and smoothed her hair back into a bun. She found her mother's old robe in the laundry room and hoped it fit well enough after she shed some clothes.

The knock was solid and formal. Claire rushed to the door. The policemen were somber. "Ma'am. We got a report of a break-in from your neighbors."

"A break-in? Neighbors?" Claire glanced out at the road but could barely even make out the lights from the nearest cabin.

"Do you have ID?"

"ID." Claire cocked her hip and stared at the officer. "You're new."

"Ma'am?"

"Claire Reid. This is my parent's cabin. My cabin, I guess."

"Mrs. Swearingen said no one's been out here in years."

"She's mistaken because there's food in the freezer from what looks like a recent party. I'm sure she has some insight as to how that came about." Claire gave him a tight smile. "As for my family, she's right. We hadn't been out in years. I just got in today. I didn't realize I had to check in with the nosy neighbor when I got in."

"If I could see some identification, we can clear the whole thing up."

"Honey." Dean stepped up behind Claire, bare-chested and barefoot. He handed her the card he'd swiped from her dresser upstairs. "Don't fight with the officer. He's just doing his job."

"Shut up. This is my property. We come here every summer and this… rookie, doesn't have any manners." Claire snapped the card out of his hand and handed it to the officer.

The officer ran his flashlight over it. "This is you?"

"You think I should look dewey-eyed like I did when I was 16, which is how old I was in that picture… I've been to war and had a child since I took that picture."

"Of course. What were you doing in war?"

"Honey, don't go berserker on that young man. He doesn't know you." Dean warned.

"And you are?"

"Henry Stephens, Lt." Dean held out his hand. "My girl Airmen Reid. She's been mighty upset since her parents passed. We came to get away from everything. She's naturally a bit touchy."

"Touchy. See what you touch." Claire muttered but took her ID back.

"So, when you say you just got in from…"

"Son, I been to war in Bosnia. My parents died. I had a baby. He's in the middle of his terrible twos and this is my first vacation since high school." Claire bit out. "If you don't mind, I'd like to get back to the activity at hand… in a bed for once."

"Sorry to bother. I did have to check it out." The officer left and Dean shut the door.

"Sorry." Claire tossed the ID in a vase and shucked the robe on the way to the kitchen were Lisa had helped herself to more dinner. "Ravenous?"

"I think it's the stress." She smiled sheepishly as she continued to eat. "Or the human being in my uterus."

"Probably that second thing. Go ahead. I'll get some more food made. Dean, eat something." Claire fished around for something that wouldn't kill them.

"Not hungry."

"You haven't eaten since this morning…"

"I'm fine."

"You're not. Eat." She walked around the kitchen to get to him where he was shrugging back into his shirt. "I need you. You're the expert here. I'm… I don't know what I'm doing. I know how to keep her safe but I don't know the rules of time travel."

"We've already said too much." Dean walked off.

Lisa ate quietly for a while. Claire bustled around and found food in the cabinets and opened cans. Lisa motioned in the direction Dean disappeared. "He doesn't like me very much."

"He's angry." Claire shook her head. "He likes you fine."

"He won't look at me."

"He's… scared. This is about Ben." Claire took a breath. "Dean adores Ben." Claire found some hand pies that must have been her father's stash and held them up. "He'll eat this."

"Apple pie covered in sugar that looks like dandruff? Made from a bunch of things that can't be pronounced?"

"He loves pie." Claire took the box and found Dean watching the lake from her father's study. "Here."

"Thanks." Dean took the box and opened one without taking his eyes off the window.

"We've done this. We do this, Dean." Claire stated.

"How do you know?"

"Next summer, I bring Sebastien out here for a couple of weeks before I sell it. I get a report from a nosy neighbor that someone's been using my cabin. I think she let her kids use it after my folks passed. I did a walk through. I find trash. I find an empty liquor cabinet and a bloody sock. Now I know why that sock was here." She crossed her arms and leaned in the doorway. "I was always upset about how… intertwined my civilian life was with my hunting life but it's all falling into place. I'm okay with this."

"I'm glad it makes sense to you. I just… how does Ben get mixed up in this again?" Dean frowned. "If… he's hunting… it means that something has happened… to Lisa, maybe. To his wife, a child… a best friend."

"Would it be so bad?"

"I never want him to be me." Dean sniffed and wiped at his eye as he ate his pie. "These are shit."

"Well, you're eating."

"I don't know how long we're going to be here and… they're going to find us. We shouldn't sit still very long. Once that officer files that report, they'll know something's up. They have eyes everywhere."

Claire stood there for a moment. "You know… Dean… I don't know your history with Lisa. Apparently you spent a weekend with her not long ago and you thought enough to go back… a few times… and you cared enough to put her aside… even though it looks like… it's killing you. What if the thing that gets Ben going after Crowley is that… maybe Crowley kills you?"

"He can't. I have the mark. Only thing that kills the mark is the blade and the only person who can wield the blade is a person with the mark… or maybe God… Only… God's voicemail's been full for a few thousand years and he didn't bother to save the pin number."

"Kay." Claire nodded and started walking away. "You don't have to be such an asshole to her."

"I'm always saving someone." Dean bit out. "Always. I never get to…"

"What?" She turned around. "You never get what? We don't get what we want, Dean. Never. I… I… I love your Dad. I enjoy the time I spend with him but I know he doesn't love me the way I love him. I'm a warm body that he gets along with when we're in proximity. What I want… is for Caleb to be alive so I could know if I wouldn't fuck that up like I did every other relationship in my life… What I want is for Erica to know what kind of man he was. That's what I want. I don't ever get to have that." She sniffed. "What do you want Dean? You want to be free of the burdens that you took on? You made a choice. You made the choices you made."

"It's my fault. Fine."

"Fault is not in this equation. I'm saying you made a choice to wipe her memory. You made a choice to leave her… for whatever reason. You made those choices. You can love her. You're allowed to love her… you just might not get what you want if you keep making the choices that take her away from you."

"I wished… he was mine." Dean sniffed. "I did. Always killed me that he wasn't. Maybe if I'd waited a week to go on my trip or gone a week earlier…"

"Then it wouldn't have been Ben."

Dean looked at her. Dead in the eye. "I love Ben."

"I know."

He shook his head. "I don't want him to have this life."

"Maybe he doesn't. We don't know anything. We know two things. Ben kills Crowley. Crowley wants Ben dead."

"I keep…" Dean trailed off when he saw Lisa standing behind Claire. "Forget it."

Claire smiled when she turned. "Let's get you a place to rest."

"It's such a big place."

"Yeah."

"Must have been nice."

"It was lonely." Claire found the downstairs spare. "Everything is dusty, I'm sorry."

"Well, it's not like you knew we'd be here, right?"

"You're right… and you're taking all this really well."

"I'm not sure of anything." Lisa whispered. "I keep thinking this is a dream and I'll just wake up. He seems really… upset about something."

"He's just tired. He hasn't slept well in about… well, it's been a long time since he's been the kind of person who didn't know about the dark things in the world."

"That's sad." Lisa took off her shoes and tucked herself into the bed. "How long has it been?"

"30 years or so."

"And you?"

"Erica's nine… so. Ten."

"Wow."

"Yeah. Rest. We'll take care of you. We won't let anyone hurt you or your baby." Claire shut the door after making sure the sigils Dean used were still in place. She found Dean in the kitchen eating Lisa's leavings. She crossed her arms and stared at him. It took him ten minutes to realize she was there. He shrugged. "You wanted to make sure she had enough to eat."

"So?"

"She's barely pregnant. She's mostly stress eating." Claire chided him and stared into the cabinet. They could get another meal or two out of there but Dean had that look. He didn't feel safe. The cabin was too big. "She's… smitten, you know."

"You noticed?" Dean stared at his plate.

"She can't take her eyes off you. That must have been some weekend."

"It was." Dean nodded.

"Yeah…" Claire rubbed her arms. "I'm worried about Erica. How long will we be gone?"

"Could be minutes. Could be an hour. I don't know." Dean sighed and ran his hand over his face. "She's got Sam and Adam and my dad."

"She doesn't know them. She's been… I know she was quick to warm to you guys but she's like that… when I'm there watching. When I'm not there, she's a little paranoid. I raised her that way."

"Think she'll rabbit?"

"Depends on how long we're gone."

"But she'll go to Lisa, right?"

"Depends. Lisa doesn't know what's going on. Sam and your dad do. Adam… He's… stuck somewhere."

"He was in that cage without Sam for a long time. There… things he felt that he'll never be able to say."

"You were in hell, right?"

"Hell and the Cage are different. One thing was built by Lucifer and the other was built to contain him. I've been to purgatory and I was hunted like an animal for a year but… it can't touch the Cage. I'm certain of it." Dean stared at his plate. "When I met up with Lisa… after Sam and Adam went into the cage… I had nightmares. Of Hell, of losing my brothers. She stuck with me through that. It was rough for her. She was used to dating the rough sort before Ben but… not like this. I scared her a few times. Some nights we had to sleep separate. I'd go out the garage and sleep in the car so I didn't wake Ben." Dean tossed back some whiskey. "After Purgatory, there's no way I was putting myself back in her life."

"What's that face you're making?"

"Sam… was soulless and I let our hunting life take me away from Lisa and I brought it back into her life. She almost died. She was all but dead. Castiel brought her back and I swore…"

"Dean…"

"When I got back from Purgatory… I was angry. Sam wasn't looking for me. He had moved on with his life. Stopped hunting. Put our friends in danger… I ruined his life, on purpose."

"When did Emma die?"

"Before I went to Purgatory… after I ruined things with Lisa. After I asked Castiel to wipe her memories."

"You..." Claire thought back to the man she'd met, really met, when she lived with John. The one who took care of his alcoholic father though what he'd really wanted was a home. The one who dodged flasks but came back, dutifully, with more booze. "You kill me, Dean. You... sacrifice so much of yourself. The world is never going to know what you've done or how to appreciate you for your… I don't even have the words for it. The kind of sacrifice you guys keep making for the world and look what shit it is."

"I always thought that I never wanted kids. Who would raise their kids in this life?" Dean ground out. "My mother didn't want to do it. She wanted to raise us normal and then a demon killed her because she interrupted his corruption of my baby brother. Fuck… my dad… thought it was the most fucked up thing you could do to a kid… but that was before they took his wife. My brother tried running from it and it just kept pulling him back and fucking Adam… was never supposed to be in it and just being my father's son sucked him in… twice." Dean knocked back another glass. "I wanted there to be a chance for Emma. I did. I wanted her to want me to take her away. I don't know that I would have raised her but I would have gotten her away. I would have. Being my blood… it meant she had more to prove than any other of her kind."

"Does Sam have a kid out there?"

"No. Probably not. Mostly every woman he ever fucked… got killed. Ones he gave a shit about anyway. I'm not counting anyone he screwed when he was soulless or anyone I caught him with when he'd been too long without." Dean got up and washed his face in the sink. Then he sniffed his shirt. "Shit."

"What?"

"I haven't had a shower since last night and I can smell her all over me. I have a problem, Claire."

"Who is Claire?" Lisa asked from the doorway.

"I'm sorry." Claire shook her head. "Darlene is a nickname. My given name is Claire."

"Darlene is a nickname?" Lisa frowned.

"Dean's father is not clever but he is charming. Least he thinks he is."

"What?" Lisa straightened. "I thought you… and Dean… you kinda fight like an old married couple."

"No. She likes to screw my old man. Who is OLD." Dean looked to Claire. "I'm going to find some place to bunk down."

Lisa was breathing heavy. "I despise being lied to."

"I'm sorry. It was… I had to write a name down when we were looking for you and I was… I'm sorry."

"If we're friends in the future… like you say… then you would know how my mother lied to us all the time when we kids… and how she lied to us for two months about how my father died."

"Lisa… I'm sorry. You don't know this… not now and not in the future but there was a time I didn't even know my name. I went by Darlene and it's second nature to me to use it when I need to."

"Just… don't lie to me."

* * *

TBC


	10. Chapter 9 - Well you failed, didn't you

AN: Good news, as of this writing, I'm in the final chapter. I'm so proud of me. Usually get caught up to the wire. Not happening this time.

* * *

Chapter 9 – Well, you failed didn't you.

* * *

Sam scanned local airwaves for any mentions of Erica while he waited with Adam at an ER. They were equipped with an old ID of Dean's and a good enough match for insurance. Adam shivered and burned. Adam sipped warm water and waited his turn. Adam rocked and talked. "She's a smart kid. Claire had a plan if something ever happened to her, right?"

"I think so… She would have told Dean but… Dean's with her."

"Maybe she told Pop-pop."

"That's hilarious." Sam muttered. "He would murder one of us if we called him Pop-pop."

"I'm the baby. I get away with that shit." Adam chattered.

"She's been gone two hours." Sam thought aloud. "That'll get her someplace she'll have to wait." He shut his eyes. "No bus will let her ride alone. No airport will let her ride alone."

"You're going too straight. She could bribe someone."

"She could… where'd she get the money?"

"Claire is loaded and she's got money stashed everywhere. I found a roll of fifties in a bag of chips that were totally stale."

* * *

John surveyed the bus station as he ran through a print-out of phone numbers of biker bars in New Mexico. He called each one. "Name's Winchester. Looking for friends of Claire Reid."

"Never heard of her."

"Could you ask around? It's important." John barked.

"Never heard of her."

John growled when he was hung up on again. He wrote a note and moved on to the next bar. "Name's Winchester looking for friends of Claire Reid."

"I know a Reid but I don't know a Winchester." Came the voice.

"Knockout blonde, has a kid and a knack for spooky things."

"Hell, you're talking about Darlene."

"Darlin' Darlene." John laughed and relaxed. "Listen… Darlene went hunting. Left her kid. Kid got spooked and disappeared. I'm trying to make sure that kid is safe."

"Hell, if she's headed here, she's safe as houses. When she take off?"

"Couple hours ago. I'm still looking around. Maybe I'll catch her before she gets too far. I'll let Darlene know when she gets back where her kid is. I appreciate it."

"What spooked the kid?"

"Hunt fell in our lap. We fell in Darlene's lap and the timetable was too tight for a lot of monkey business. Kid was at school. I was supposed to watch her. She's never met me in her life."

"That's not like Darlene." The voice came through on the other side.

"Extenuating circumstances."

"Well, I'll have the boys keep an ear out. We'll keep her til Darlene makes her way back."

"Thanks." John closed the phone and started interviewing tellers with the picture of Erica he'd found on a shelf.

* * *

Sam sat with the nurse while the doctor did his examination. "He's been eating non-stop then all of a sudden he can't. He's had a chill for a couple of days. Today he wakes up and he's sweating but still says he feels cold. At dinner, he ate a couple bites and looked green. Started burning hot. We brought him in."

"Good. Probably the flu. When was the last time he had a flu shot?"

"I don't have his records but probably… 7 years ago."

"Then he was gonna catch it. Been around any sick people?"

"No… not really. He was out late last night. Baseball game and out to eat."

"Then maybe just a bug."

"He just… sits around, eating and watching TV."

"He was probably building up to this… has he been depressed? Studies show it compromises your immune system."

"Probably." Sam nodded. When the door opened, the doctor shook his hand and moved on his way to the nurse's station. Sam looked to Adam who was hooked up to an IV. "What's that?"

"I'm dehydrated and I have walking pneumonia. I'm gonna live."

"It's just saline and vitamins and antibiotics." The nurse announced as she drew a syringe to add to the bag. "He'll live and he'll be eating again soon. For the time being, fluids and fluids and more fluids. And sleep."

"Sleep. Got it." Adam nodded.

"Water."

"Water."

"No more soda."

"Water." Adam nodded to her.

"I'm calling Dad." Sam breathed deeply and got the voicemail. "Dad, it's Sam. Adam's got walking pneumonia. We've got the let the IV run and then we're headed back to Claire's."

"What'd he say?" Adam inhaled a deep breath and came back coughing.

"Voicemail… like usual." Sam almost threw his phone but he remembered that his father was looking for Erica. The nine year old that gave them the slip. "I'm going to… run to the store and by the house and then I'm coming back. You… sleep."

"Got it." Adam shut his eyes.

* * *

John should have thought of it sooner. He found the town biker bar and flashed the picture around. A few folks had seen her. She'd gone to the back of the bar. John tried the bartender. No joy there. Then John found an older barfly to point him in the direction of the establishment's old lady.

She looked him up and down and sighed. "My old man would beat me for the thoughts I'm having about you."

"Did you see her?"

"Took off with one of the boys, going to a safe place she knows."

"So you know her?"

"No. But she knows some of our friends in another state. We put word out, got a hit. She's going there."

"How long ago?"

"I don't know you."

"She was my responsibility."

"Well, you failed, didn't you."

John shoved off the bar. He checked his phone. Messages from Sam. He got back to the house and studied some maps while he changed sheets and set laundry to wash. When the boys got back, John helped Adam to bed and sat on the stairs to think. Sam gave him a look and John didn't want to deal with it. Sam leaned on the banister. "Well?"

"Figure it must have taken her about half hour to get to the bar. I went to the bus station. She's been gone about four hours now. She's on her way to her safe place. I only know what state it's in. I figure it's in Taos. She'll be in Illinois by now."

"It's late."

"She's with a biker. She's got a system and bikers… that system is country wide." John breathed out. "You be okay if I chase her?"

"Yeah." Sam nodded.

"I don't want to leave him this sick."

"I can pump him full of fluids and medicine." Sam looked to his father. "I never… acknowledged everything you did for us."

"No?"

"No… I've met you once since you died and… I know… that… well. I know. If you hadn't taught us everything you taught us… we would not have been ready."

"Still weren't ready. You can't be. Not for what we deal with."

"But we handled it."

"I had to tell your brother something before I paid my bill to the demon."

"I know what you told Dean." Sam breathed out. "That was shitty. You broke his heart when you told him to do that."

"I guess I did." John's chin quivered.

"You don't have to tell me. If something with Adam isn't right… I'll do what I need to."

"You sure?"

"That's the one order you gave Dean that he couldn't follow."

"But you can?"

"I've put down girlfriends, friends… my only niece… to save lives."

"I hate that my only grandchild is a creature that had to be put down."

"Dean wouldn't have saved himself." Sam explained. "I could see it in his eyes… and I think she knew that. I saw her eyes… her Amazon eyes when I killed her."

"What's wrong with Dean? Really?"

"It's the mark. He's trying to find a balance and I'm afraid he'll never find one."

"Why?"

"He pushes away everyone that he's ever cared about except me… and really… he pushes me away, too. And Castiel…" Sam shook his head. "Coffee should be done. Dean's car is gassed."

"Check in."

"Yeah."

John nodded. He gathered his coat and filled a travel cup with coffee. He could catch up to the biker if they pulled off to sleep, which they would have to with a little girl in tow. He was better hitting Taos before they got there. John headed straight out and he only pulled off when his eyes crossed. He needed three hours sleep. He found Dean's journal when he was taking inventory. He shouldn't have but he did.

Dean wrote in short sentences. Facts scribbled, photo copies pasted in. Doodles here and there. John sipped his whiskey as he flipped the pages. Then he saw it. Pen had traced the lines over and over. Emma. The edges of the page were splashed with whiskey. Crude drawings of the eyes were done but the script in the middle of the page was even and worn. He found an earlier hunt. Lisa. Ben. Two names scrawled beneath a definition of changeling, notes on the den mother. He dug around and found a picture of the trio tucked behind the cover along with a worn picture of Mary.

John studied the pictures until he fell asleep and he hadn't meant to sleep as long as he did. Back on the road and behind schedule. The biker and the kid were bound to be halfway there already. John made sure he put Dean's journal back together.

Sam worried the longer it took. Adam's fever had leveled off but he was fine to doze and drink and doze. Sam paced and checked the phone and read of his notes and heated up more soup and paced.

He could only hope that Dean was okay.

* * *

TBC


	11. Chapter 10 - She's a good choice

Chapter 10 – She's a good choice.

* * *

Dean used the shower and put on some of Claire's father's clothes. The old man had been roughly the same size if a bit shorter. He appeared in the kitchen to get a bowl of pasta as Claire was returning from checking on Lisa. "She's still asleep… heh."

"Shut up."

"My dad didn't really have casual clothes."

"No shit." Dean snorted. He'd resorted to an undershirt and a button sweater and a pair of slacks that weren't too constricting. "We should get going soon."

"Yeah." Claire nodded. "She's really mad at me."

"She hates being lied to." Dean shrugged. "Trust me. I… got hit on all the time after I hooked up with her for the long haul. She always knew. So I always just handed the phone numbers over for her disposal. Or had a buddy vouch for me that I ripped up napkins. She… wasn't jealous exactly but she was… territorial. If I wanted out, I knew where the door was."

"I know you… and your libido. Not even once?"

"She's a yoga instructor… she's all the interesting a man could want. Even me. And my libido."

"Dean."

"When she looks at me… the way she used to look at me… I don't need it. I don't. If I ever lied to her… well. I couldn't. She could always see right through me."

"I hate that this is something I can never discuss with her. Dean… taking her choice away. The choice to remember and reminisce and…"

"Telling her son that he was a mistake? Seeing the look on his face while she lay dying in front of him? When she stabbed herself in the gut in front of him. If you had seen the look on his face when the doctor said we'd have to wait and see… I couldn't… Cas put her back together and I took the opportunity."

"You should have let her have a choice."

"Well, it's done and now… it kills me just to think about it. I don't want him hunting."

"You don't have a choice about it." Claire got in his face. "You took your choice out of the equation when you erased their memories. Whatever's going to happen is going to happen. You can't control everything."

"We need to move."

"I'll get her up." Claire shoved herself away from the counter.

Dean found what he could in the cabin. Salt, silver. By the time he was ready to go, Lisa was dressed in some of Claire's old clothes. Claire was drowning in a sweater but had food in hand. Dean drove them out of town and tried to think where else they could go. He waited half a beat too long at a stop sign and got stuck at the next light. He saw the demons across the street. He could feel them.

That got a car chase started. Dean didn't know what else to do. He spun the car into a lot and they ran to the nearest store that was packed with shoppers. Claire hurried Lisa along. Dean spotted the chapel at the end of the strip and hustled them all to it.

A novice stared at them but didn't say anything when Dean stashed Lisa beneath the altar at the pulpit. Claire kept her gun drawn. There were four of them and they were stalled at the entrance. Claire spoke loud and clear. The novice's eyes boggled when the demons shuffled away from the doorway, hissing and eyes flashing black.

Only one demon was exorcized by the time Claire was finished. The novice crossed himself. Claire looked around, the poor woman sat down on the steps and cried.

Dean looked Lisa over. "You okay?" She nodded. He laid a hand on her shoulder and stood. "Claire?"

"Clear."

"These are low level demons. Must mean this is all being done under the radar. Which means… Crowley doesn't even know." Dean ran a hand over his face. "This is being orchestrated by an Angel. Which one… who gains from Crowley living?"

"Dean, let's move." Claire called back.

Dean pulled Lisa up and tucked her under his arm as they moved quickly from the church to steal another car. Lisa wouldn't let go of him so Claire drove while Lisa shook in Dean's arms. Dean stroked her hair and rubbed her shoulders. Lisa murmured under her breath. "Their eyes… their eyes."

They drove all day and slid into a motel for rest. Dean took Lisa inside while Claire went to get food. Lisa stared at him. "This is all real."

"Yes."

"Those things want to kill my unborn son because someday he kills one of them."

"Well, the one he kills is currently running hell."

"I thought the Devil ran hell."

"It's a little more complicated than that." Dean sniffed and rubbed his hands over his face. "It's such a long story. You're not even supposed to know any of it yet."

"Okay." She settled in for a story and waited.

"So… Lucifer. He's one of four brothers. He's God's favorite cause he's strong and loyal and perfect… I personally think he's the baby. Then God gives him control over darkness. He branded him. Around the same time, God creates us. Then it's all Genesis. Adam and Eve, then Cain and Abel. God sends Michael to lock Lucifer in a cage in Hell. So it's a prison in the worst place in the universe. Cain takes the mark when he kills his brother. Okay? So… there are all sorts of demons that get created and they all worship Lucifer. You got little demons, big demons. There's a demon for everything. All demons were human once. They never tell you that in Sunday school."

"All demons?"

"All of them. See, there's this prophecy. End of times. Four horsemen. Lucifer and Michael duke it out to end our world. There were some demons who ran things. They're alive now but I kill them eventually or my brother does. Azazel, Lillith… Then comes Crowley. He's… mild as rulers of Hell go but he's still a thorn in my side."

"Why would he…"

"Crowley and I have history. He's killed a lot of my friends. I've killed a lot of his." Dean sucked in a breath. "If I find out he's ever laid a hand on a single hair on Ben's head… I will kill him."

"That's… intimidating… knowing there's someone that cares so much for a person that I haven't even met."

"Well, you raise him right."

"Alone?"

"For the most part."

"Oh. I just… the father…" Lisa trailed off. "I know I'm not supposed to talk about him but I really thought we had something."

"You don't need that douchebag." Dean shook his head. "You do fine without him. You got a house with a yard and you have plenty of time to spend with Ben."

"So, he's happy?"

"Yes." Dean nodded. "The time I just came from? He's happy. Heartbroken but happy." Dean watched her smile freeze on her face. He waved his hand in front of her face. Nothing. "What the hell?"

"Hello, Dean." A female voice spoke from behind him. He turned and leapt to his feet. "I know. It's a shock."

"You're not here for her." Dean growled.

"I'm not." Tessa shook her head and took a seat on the other side of the bed from Dean.

"Then why are you here?"

"Time… is less fluid than you think and more fluid than you think."

"You know why I'm here." Dean relaxed.

"I'm aware." She nodded.

"You know that… when I am… you aren't."

"I know. Death and I go way back and I'm long past… everything." Tessa shut her eyes for a moment. "When you are, the reaper in charge… the "me" of that time knows you. He orchestrated a few things for you…" She cleared her throat. "It's complicated and I'm given to understand that a lot of things are not currently in your possession. I can't tell you everything but I can tell you that you're saying too much… to her."

"Someone's going to do a wipe on her. I know that."

"It still matters what you say to her. You know better."

"I guess I do."

"That mark… on your arm… means something. Probably more than you know."

"What can you tell me?"

"I can tell you to shut your mouth about the future. I can tell you that the Reaper in Charge is in your debt. I can tell you that saving… her child is the great equalizer for you. The Reaper in Charge is anxious for that."

"Why?"

"That's something you should discuss when you return to your time."

"I still haven't forgiven you." Dean bit out.

"Well… I never forgave you." She countered.

"Do you even know what I'm talking about?"

"For using your Blade to kill myself. I told you. Time is different than you think. Reapers live the entire spectrum of their existence all at once."

"So the… Reaper in Charge in my time… who is that?"

"Well, you've been through a few, haven't you. The number of times that you have died and been reaped and been returned… it's exhausting to catalog. The number of reapers who have worked on your soul… is so numerous, they had to assign me to you to alleviate the burden… to concentrate the stress."

"Assigned?"

"You burned out a few of my noobs. I am the Reaper in Charge. So… my taking your case is kind of like… a name partner handling new intake… over and over. Pro bono."

"What?"

"Don't flatter yourself. I don't consider you a whale. Cain… now… there's a whale."

"I'm not a whale."

"Not until you took the mark, you weren't."

"Why are you here?"

She gave him a sad smile. "I missed you, Dean."

"Missed me?"

"I guess that's the wrong word. When you took the mark… you became something… other. Not a demon. Not a human. Not a God. More like something like me." She touched his forehead. "She's a good choice. Remember that. She was always a good choice for you."

"Tessa, I don't understand. Why are you here?"

"You're scared for her. That's good. You can still feel fear. Feel love. When you become something other… it's easy to lose that part of you. The human part. Remember that you need it to keep going."

"Pain? I need pain?"

"Yes. Pain and love and fear and freedom." She nodded. "You, despite all your mess, are one of my favorites."

"One?"

"Well… Joan of Arc, she was something." Tessa smiled.

"You reaped Joan of Arc?"

"Couple times."

"You're stalling. Why?"

"Hello, Dean." A male voice spoke. He was standing by the door. Something in Dean smarted but he didn't recognize the face. "We've met… briefly. Tessa and I have made some arrangements for your… care."

"My care." Dean looked them both over and got to his feet.

"Time is… fluid for us." The other reaper began. "I was meant to reap you the first time, Dean. You were in my jurisdiction but I was… caught." His image changed to an aged man in a suit. Dean's heart pounded. "That heart attack nearly did you in and you had mere days when you and I met." He changed back into a younger bearded man. "I reaped Bobby Singer for you. The last time."

"And… you're the Reaper in Charge in my time." Dean stepped around the bed.

"I am. You saved me. Released me from that prison. Deaths out of order. I let you keep that life and you got to play your part. You all did. I'm returning the favor. We don't… meddle in the affairs of men. I'm sure the Boss has explained that before. You even took a turn, didn't you."

"Yeah." Dean nodded. "That was a blast."

"When you took the mark back and the Boss was restored…"

"He doesn't know that… yet." Tessa reminded him.

"Somebody explain." Dean rubbed his temples.

"Henri." Tessa nodded her head.

"Right." Henri cleared his throat. "I have… several Angels in my pocket some years ahead of your time. It's a bit of a mess. The time is… delicate but if we want to set the world back on track, we need key players. It's a process and the other side… well, the demon side likes things… chaotic and it's really mucking with the wavelength."

"He doesn't know about that." Tess reminded. "Are you new? What is wrong with you?"

"Hang on. I hang out with him a lot in the future." Henri shut his eyes and took a breath. Tessa rolled her eyes. "Sorry, I used to be more professional."

"We all did." Tessa gave Dean a tight smile.

"What? Me? You're blaming me?"

"People died when they were supposed to. There's an order. You know this." Tessa tried not to roll her eyes again. "Then the Winchesters started making deals and saving the world."

"Fine." Dean threw his hands up.

Henri held his hands out. "Save her and save her child. Save her child, kill Crowley. Kill Crowley and the world goes back to the way it was… more or less. There's a human with the Mark. There's an archangel in the Cage and God in his heaven."

"Really… I do this and GOD… GOD returns to heaven." Dean laughed.

"It's far more complicated but this is your part."

"I think I liked you better when you looked like death. Not… Death…" Dean growled. "This is really ridiculous."

"I was suffocating in slavery to that phony faith healer's batty wife. It puts the years on. It's how she saw Death and not how I prefer to be seen."

"Okay, Henry." Dean scoffed at him.

"Not Henry. Ohn-ree. I prefer the French."

"We know." Tessa rolled her eyes. "I had such high hopes for you in succeeding me."

"What can I say? Times, they are a-changin'."

"Dylan. Nice." Dean gave Henri a tight smile then took a breath. "So… I save the yoga instructor, I save the child. Child kills the demon, and we go back to balance."

"More or less."

"But I got the mark."

"See." Tessa jerked her head at Dean.

"The world is balanced, Dean. No one said you were."

"Okay. Okay. I have the mark. I'm a blight on the world but I keep my cool and there's no massacres." Dean breathed deep. "So, why am I missing six months of memory from '15?"

"We all signed a confidentiality on that one." Henri shook his head.

"She didn't." Dean pointed at Tessa. "She's already dead."

"I didn't witness it. Like you said. I'm already dead." Tessa walked away.

"I don't like having my chain yanked and something is going on here." Dean growled. Then Dean paused. "Is time passing in my time?"

"It is." Henri nodded. "It's for a reason."

"Why did you let Adam out of the cage? And bring my dad back?"

"Adam is an innocent soul. John Winchester was owed a few favors."

"Are all our bills coming due?"

"Ironing out the wrinkles created when the Apocalypse didn't go down as scheduled." Tessa shrugged. "Things are… more connected than you know. I would advise you to be careful but I know you won't listen. I would advise you that things are meant to happen a certain way but your curiosity always gets the best of you."

"I'm going to outlive everyone I know." Dean spoke aloud.

"That is the path you've chosen." Henri nodded, hands in his pockets.

"I sacrifice my normal life for the world? Sounds like me."

"We've had this talk time and again, Dean." Tessa sighed. "Just because you follow the natural order, does not mean you don't get to experience natural and normal portions of life. Remember that."

"Have you killed enough time?" Dean crossed his arms.

"We're just letting her rest." Tessa touched Lisa's head. "She needs rest right now. The child she's carrying… is important."

"We're on the run from demons. Rest can get us killed."

"You have a window. Use it."

Dean blinked and they were gone. Lisa stretched out on the bed and went to sleep. Dean sat on the edge of the bed and watched her sleep for a minute before covering her up and stepping outside for some air. Claire appeared from around the corner with a few bags. Food and simple toiletries. Dean turned to the room and caught his reflection in the window. In Claire's father's clothes, he looked almost normal, almost respectable. He left Claire to watch over Lisa while he took inventory of what they had. Just a bag that Claire had packed with their clothes, so present day Claire didn't find them in the house when she really returned from Bosnia. Some snacks that were stale. Her father's rifle and a box of ammo. He needed supplies, grabbing his own clothes, he changed in the parking lot and took $50 with him to the bar down the street.

* * *

TBC


	12. Chapter 11 - Don't say anything

Chapter 11 – Don't say anything to your brother.

* * *

John set up shop in the corner of the bar. He could see the front door, he could see the back door. He could see the hoodoo when he pulled in. This was the right place. John drank more soda than beer. He ate two meals while he watched the doors. The food was absolute shit. Around nightfall the bartender took a phone call and after he made his rounds, he left out the backdoor. Twenty minutes later he returned with a child on his shoulder. Limp as a rag doll. John kept an eye on the situation.

The bartender disappeared into the back room and came back without the child. A waitress chucked her apron at the bar and disappeared into the back room. A couple of hours later, they reappeared. Erica climbed up on a bar stool and started eating French fries when they were plopped in front of her. The bartender kissed her head and watched over her while the waitress got back to work. John stayed right where he was. He left an hour before closing and kept watching from the car. An hour after closing, the bartender, the waitress and Erica climbed onto a couple of bikes and roared out of the parking lot. John tried to keep a healthy distance behind them but did follow.

Erica greeted the dog in the yard with kisses. The dog licked her face, though it growled at the waitress. It followed orders well when the bartender swatted at it with his dishrag, still hanging off his belt. A couple of more bikes rolled up, one of them had a kid with them. John saw the house light up. The kids were sent to bed but the nightlight showed they were awake and playing while the grown-ups played cards and drank in the front of the house. John couldn't see well but saw some bunches of herbs hanging off the porch. He thought he saw a pentagram on the mudflap of a truck along the side of the house. He settled in, grateful that the weather was fair.

* * *

Sam had to tell a story. Lisa rushed the house and called out and Sam could only stay there while she did. She was standing in front of him, fuming. "Where the hell is my friend's kid?"

"Adam's real sick." Sam gestured up the stairs. "Dad and Claire took off to… whatever. Dean's in hiding. It was just me… I sent her to a friend's."

"What friend? Why wouldn't Claire tell me?"

"She got busy, I guess. Erica is fine." Sam held his hands out. "Honest."

"You… men… have no idea what it's like to answer to anyone, do you? I've been worried sick. They said she didn't go to school today and you guys promised to call me if he took a turn for the worse."

"We… figured it out. Sorry. I'm sorry." Sam apologized. "When Claire gets back, I'll tell her everything and how I fucked up, trust me."

"And… your brother." She started and stopped herself. "Never mind. Forget it. Don't say anything to your brother."

* * *

John woke when the sun came up over the mountains. It was chilly. The house was quiet. All the bikes still there from the night before. John took the car for a spin. Gas, piss, breakfast and COFFEE. He returned to his stakeout to find the children had snuck outside to play while the adults, presumably, were still sleeping it off. Erica whooped and jumped off lawn furniture. Her playmate, a slightly older boy, seemed to struggle in keeping up.

Around nine, the waitress was up and calling the kids in to eat. John was satisfied they were watching her but he couldn't leave. He pulled out his phone.

"Dad?"

"I found her. She's in good company and I'm not about to get myself shot trying to bring her home so I'll dig in and wait til we get Claire back."

"What if she doesn't come back?"

"Well, we'll get word, right?"

"I suppose."

"Then I'll decide when we get word. How's Adam?"

"Walking pneumonia is kicking his ass. I'm getting him showered and fed and… doing laundry like crazy. Claire took him shopping but they went for respectable company rather than comfort. I'll get him set up with a better set."

"Good. Good. Sorry you got saddled with him."

"I'm not. He's a good kid. Smart."

"Well, guess he takes after his mother."

"Dad… you're a good person. A shitty dad, sometimes, but a good person."

"What?"

"I've heard you say a lot that our… better attributes came from Mom but… we got a lot of good stuff from you, too." Sam sniffed. "We met a younger version of you and… I wish you'd gotten to be him a lot longer… I would have liked to see how he turned out but… he turned us into who we are and we do a lot of good… even when we fuck up."

"I'm not sure I deserve that."

"You ever think Dean has such a low assessment of himself because so you do you?"

John stood there staring at his phone for the longest time after Sam hung up. Dean. He was definitely different. Harder. John didn't know quite how to take the man he'd grown into.

John got a room in the backyard of the house behind the one he'd been watching. A night of gambling would have a full month's rent just in case. He hauled a few books in and set himself up to watch through the window as Erica was spoiled rotten by the bartender and his girlfriend. After a jog around the block and a sift through the mail, he found the names to be Peter Pulliam and Kelsey Williams or Resident. When he called Sam, he got Adam. Adam hopped on the laptop.

"Well, Mr. Pulliam has got a few drunk and disorderlies. He did a spell in the joint for assault. He got off easy though. Looks like the man he nearly beat to death was wanted for a rash of kidnappings. Mrs. Williams is not officially divorced from a fellow doing time for murder. She's got a solicitation charge but it didn't stick. Darlene Reid has a warrant for grave desecration by the way. Looks like they all have the same lawyer by the name of Ryder McGill."

"What?"

"It's his legal name."

"Alright, thanks kid. You doing okay?"

"Sam ran out to buy me some more OJ. I'm hanging in there but I never know if I'm baking or freezing."

"Keep still. Keep that temp down. Got it?"

"Sure, Mom."

"There are worse things I could be called. You really doing okay?"

"Just wish I knew why I'm getting another stroll on the long walk."

"The long walk?"

"I'm a Stephen King fan. You should read it sometime."

"Maybe I will."

"It'll be in the Bachman works."

"Got it."

"She okay?"

"Yeah. They invited a little boy over to play with her. She's having a blast and he's trying to keep up."

"She's an awesome kid. I'm gonna hit the hay. These meds are knocking me out."

John hung up the phone and watched the kids argue against bathtime. Erica eventually went inside and they emerged a bit later, clean and groomed. Erica kicked around the yard alone. The boy having been taken home. Around six, they all left the house. John followed at a distance back to the bar. Erica grumbled around the parking lot until dark and then went inside. John hid himself in a corner, ate and drank and watched. It was all he could do until Claire came back.

* * *

Adam woke when Claire's phone went off. He stared at it for a minute. "You've reached Claire Reid's phone. Can I take a message?"

"Looking for Darlene. You seen her?"

"Darlene Reid is off on a hunt." Adam replied. "I'm told she'll be back but she's out of pocket until it's done."

"How do I know she's safe?"

"I have no skills. None. She could kick my ass if she wanted. I'm very glad she doesn't."

"When is she coming back?"

"We don't actually know but I'm sworn to guard her house until she returns."

"Who the fuck was supposed to watch her kid?"

"Oh shit." Adam sighed. "My dad was. Only Claire didn't have time to get word to Erica. Erica bolted. Dad gave chase and we believe she's safe somewhere in New Mexico. Dad's keeping an eye on her until Claire gets back… but he doesn't want to scare her again."

"So, your dad… He six-one? Dark hair, drinks like a fish?"

"Yeah." Adam nodded to the phone. "He's kind of a bad ass but he's a terrible father. If you've got Erica, I hope you keep her safe because the second he thinks she's in danger, you're dead."

"Wait, what?"

"I've heard all kinds of stories about my dad. I've read some of what he's done. I don't know him well but I do know that he's decided to protect Erica Reid and he's watching you. You might have just discovered him hanging around but he already knows your patterns and what kind of person you are. If she is endangered in your presence… he will take her back."

"Why doesn't he come and get her now?"

"Erica doesn't know him. She only met him a few days ago and Claire didn't give her instructions to stick around for him. So… she's with you until Claire gets back or John Winchester has had enough of your babysitting skills."

There was a laugh on the other end. "John Winchester is dead."

"Okay. You go on believing that… but if he is, dead that is, who is watching your every move?"

* * *

John had his second hamburger and seventh beer when the bartender slid in across the booth. "Can I help you, friend?"

"Little birdie who answered Darlene Reid's phone said your name is John Winchester."

"Yeah?"

"Only… I heard from a lot of people that John Winchester is dead."

"Who'd you hear it from?"

"Through the grapevine a few years back. Now… Darlene… she's a bad ass. Helped us out years ago and I got all sorts of favors to owe her. One of those is to watch her daughter if anything happens to Darlene. I got a few strange phone calls and then Erica showed up. Then I called Darlene and some kid answers, creepy kid by the way. I ask about some old man hanging around my bar and he tells me that old man is none other than ol' John Winchester and if I fuck up watching over Erica, ol' John's going to kill me."

"Well, still wondering what you're wondering about."

"My life is in danger is what the kid said."

"Your life is in danger if her life is in danger." John pointed with his fork to Erica sitting on a barstool spinning herself dizzy. "So, far, so good."

"You won't just take her home?"

"I'm a bit out of practice for kids. Mine are grown. I forgot a rule and she rabbited. So, until you fuck up or her mother comes back… she's in your hands."

"She's exhausting." Peter nearly collapsed on the table. "Take her back."

"Then you convince her to come home with me. I'll be right here. You make an okay burger."

* * *

TBC


	13. Chapter 12 - I'm a monster

AN: I did it. I just finished the story a few minutes ago. Wow. I've worked on this story forever and had an almost complete version that I chunked because I grew to hate it. This one is done, I like it and not everyone will but there's the last warning. Lots of things happening and people showing up.

* * *

Chapter 12 – I'm a monster.

* * *

Claire watched over the sleeping Lisa while Dean wandered off. Gun in hand, she sat on the bed to get some physical rest even if her senses were on high alert. She woke when the door opened. It was Dean, he was covered in blood. He had two bags in hand. He dropped one by the bed and took the other to the bathroom. Lisa stirred. Claire looked through the bag. Guns. Lots of them. She slipped into the bathroom to find Dean had stripped his bloody clothing… the street clothes he'd brought with him. She unloaded the clothes he'd taken from her father's closet and shoved the bloody mess into the bag. She cleaned what she could and waited.

Dean was shaking though the water was steaming off his body. The water was still running pink. He was shaking his head. "I didn't mean to do it."

"Dean… what happened?"

"I was just going to get some money and some guns… Then… they threatened me… and the Mark… I was just going to let it play a bit but it… took over. They're all dead." Dean stared at his hands. "I didn't even have a knife."

Claire stared at him, naked with blood washing off his body. She took his shoes. "I'll clean these up. You… take your time."

"I'm a monster, Claire." Dean sobbed as she closed the curtain once more.

Claire took his boots to the sink to scrub off the blood and gore. The sink was red when the water ran over the shoes. Her hands were slick with blood when she attempted to wipe them off. She rinsed and scrubbed and rinsed and scrubbed and never realized when Lisa snuck up behind her.

"What's happened?"

"We'll have to leave… shortly. Eat, rest. I'll wake you when it's time to go." Claire sniffed back tears of fear while she continued to rinse and scrub his boots. When she thought she'd got it all. She took a towel to dry them off and they turned maroon with just a few rubs. They would have to do.

Dean was steady when he emerged in the civilian clothes. He immediately moved to the bag by the bed to take inventory. Claire set his boots down and left the room quietly. Lisa was curled up by the headboard, watching. Claire was back in 15 minutes with a package of socks from the corner store. Dean only stopped assessing guns and ammo long enough to put the socks on. "We have some firepower now. Ammo for days. Other stuff is already in the car. I got that first off."

"Holy water?" Claire asked.

"In the trunk."

"Silver?"

"Got some. Bottom of the bag. We'll have to smelt at the next stop." Dean winced as he tugged his boots on. "Ready?"

"What happened?" Lisa asked.

"I went out for supplies. Things got out of hand." Dean breathed out and rubbed his arm. "We should go, though."

Claire packed up what little food was left and grabbed the pillows to take with them. She got Lisa situated with the pillows and a blanket. Dean took the driver's seat and she curled up in the passenger seat. "Wake me at first light."

"Sure." Dean nodded.

* * *

Claire woke around noon. Lisa was singing softly to the radio. Claire could hear tears in her voice. Dean was staring straight ahead. The tank was nearly on E. Claire sat up and nudged him. He nodded and pulled in at the next station he saw. Lisa raced out, Claire on her heels to use the restroom. They did a wash up in the ladies' room before Claire cruised the little store for snacks. Jerky for Dean. She found a slice of pie. She found some sandwich items and a Styrofoam cooler. Coffee for herself and Dean. Lisa yawned as she brought up a box of cupcakes and a large bag of potato chips.

Dean had the car gassed, the plates scuffed and trash thrown. Claire climbed into the back with Lisa. It was awkward at first but Claire stroked her hair and hummed softly. Lisa cried for a long while before falling asleep. Claire kept her voice low. "What happened while I was sleeping?"

"She wanted to talk. I didn't."

"Did you snap at her?"

"Maybe."

"Jesus, Dean."

"I don't have the answers, Claire. I don't."

"You don't have to be mean to her. She's the mother of a child that you are… besotted with."

"I know." Dean ran his hand over his face and kept driving. "I… She hates it when I'm like this. I'm so focused on the hunt… on keeping her safe that… I … I just…"

"Okay. You've done this with her before but she doesn't know that." Claire took a breath. "She's 21 and she's just found out she's pregnant with a child that has a very important future. She needs to know that everything is going to be okay."

"I can't guarantee that."

"I know… but it's a small lie."

"Fine."

"What happened last night?"

"Nothing." Dean shook his head and kept the pedal down. "I don't know where to go. I don't know when the coast is clear. We may be here til Ben is born."

"Probably not."

"I can't think of a single safe place right now. Not without pulling more people into this."

"You think your angel is still passed out?"

"He might be. He'll find her when he comes to. Both of us are hidden."

"No known locations, Dean. I know you know that."

Dean was standing next to a gas pump when Henri appeared. "So, when do you get snatched?"

"Two years before your accident with a tazer." Henri shrugged. "There's a place you should go."

"Oh yeah? Where's that?"

"There's a drunk young man in Nebraska who is learning your craft. He's not been marked yet."

"Nebraska. Caleb? Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Go on. Teach him a few things."

"I've got the love of his life riding in my backseat."

"No, the love of his life just died a few years ago."

"Wait, what?" Dean frowned. "But…"

"No one knows if they would have made the long haul but the grey-eyed girl was his soul mate. He and Claire got together for the sole purpose of bringing Erica into the world."

"Why?" Dean watched the world slow down around them. He jammed the pump back on to the holder. "I don't care if it's too soon for me to know."

"Well, we've fucked up enough and I feel you need the motivation." Henri straightened his tie. "Erica needed to be born because she needs to fall in love with Ben and they need to bring about… four children into the world."

"Wait what?" Dean shut his eyes and counted on his fingers. "He's about seven years older than she is."

"And you are three years younger than Lisa. What is your point?"

Dean crossed his arms and counted to ten. "I am both happy and proud. I am also… wrathful."

"Oh. Someone's been to therapy."

"Okay… We need Erica. We need Ben. Got it."

"So, go to Caleb. He won't recognize Claire and you can teach him some things while preggo gets a real bed. That cocoon Claire built was good but it's not good enough."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"You keep telling me that Lisa needs to rest but why? This kid is important but you… I can't put my finger on it but I remember something about something."

"Truth?" Henri leaned on the car. "This pregnancy isn't so easy for her in the beginning. She's in a danger zone. If she'd stayed at home, she'd be yoga-ing all over the place when really she needs to sleep. So keep the demons at bay and get her to a bed."

"Ben killing Crowley is really that important?"

"It's crucial… for the balance."

Dean blinked and he was alone in the parking lot and time was moving forward again. A couple of minutes later, Lisa came hustling back from the bathroom and Claire had a big bag of hot food. "Kay. I have a juicy bacon cheeseburger with onions for Dean. I have a salad for me and a random assortment of grease & greens for our mommy to be."

"Let's get moving." Dean motioned to the car.

"Let me eat quickly and I'll drive." Claire watched his face. "What?"

"I know where we can go but you won't like it."

* * *

Dean knocked on the door. He had to knock twelve times. It was early morning. Caleb was probably passed out. Caleb answered the door, stinking of booze and clutching a book on Romanian curses against his chest, his eyes were barely open. "Caleb?"

"Yeah?"

"Good. Name's Winchester. I got a car full of ladies that we're going to save." Dean told him.

"What?"

"Jefferson said you do what we do."

"Monsters. Yeah. Jefferson."

"Need a place to lay low. I can also impart a good deal of wisdom."

"Kay." Caleb nodded and stepped aside, his eyes barely slits in his face.

"Ladies." Dean called.

Lisa shuffled through with pillows and blankets in arm. Claire had some weapons and the remainder of the food. "Thanks."

"She needs a bed." Claire motioned.

"Upstairs." Caleb pointed.

"Where's your library?"

"Living room… wouldn't call it a library exactly." Caleb shook his head. "I'm going to get a few more winks."

"Don't mind us." Dean slapped him on the back.

Claire led Lisa upstairs to the extra bedroom. The bed was more comfortable than Claire remembered. Lisa asked her to stay, so Claire did. Humming as she read through a book she found nearby. It was a textbook on indigenous Nebraska. Claire thought she remembered seeing it before. It was Alanna's.

Dean set up shop while Caleb passed out on the couch where it looked like he had been to begin the day. He knew Claire was mad but he'd seen her eyes when she laid eyes on Caleb. Caleb was never going to remember they were there if they just stayed out of sight while he was sober.

Dean made dinner out of what was in the fridge. Claire went into town for some more food. Caleb came to around four in the afternoon. He shook his head violently when he saw Dean standing over the stove. "I'm really here. You let us in this morning."

"What?" Caleb looked at the door as if it had the answers he was looking for.

"Name's Winchester." Dean introduced himself again. "Jefferson sent us here. Said you could use some lessons and we could be safe here. We're making your house safer."

"Us?" Caleb washed his face in the sink.

"I've got a couple of lovely ladies stashed in your spare room." Dean moved over to finish constructing his smelting kit.

"What's that?"

"We're making silver bullets and consecrated iron rounds. You're going to learn how, too."

"How drunk was I?"

"I'm not convinced you're sober yet." Dean countered. "Coffee's almost done. Your fridge is full again and I'm only going to tell you once to be polite to my lady friends. You hear me?"

"Yeah. Yeah." Caleb sniffed his pits and then reached for the coffee. "I better shower."

"Much appreciated."

Lisa was freshly showered and dressed when she made it downstairs. "I don't know why I'm so tired."

"You're making a baby. It's hard work." Claire offered her and poured some milk in a glass for Lisa. "It's one of the first symptoms I had. Fell asleep at my post three times before I got hauled in to the infirmary."

"Eat." Dean ordered before turning up the flame under his silver.

Claire had a bag on the table. It was filled with various bottles. She doled out pills to Lisa in a cup. "These are the best I could find."

Lisa took the pills with milk and ate her plate and then some. "I never eat this much."

"You never had reason to." Claire stroked her hair.

"I have to pee… again." Lisa rushed from the table.

Caleb stared at Claire. Claire glared back. Dean cleared his throat. "Caleb, this is Darlene."

"You're gorgeous but I'm sure you hear it all the time. You look stuck up." Caleb told her and then shambled out of the room.

"Charmed." Claire sighed.

"Claire!" Lisa called.

Claire rushed off. Dean sat with his food and a bunch of papers to look for patterns. When he looked up again, Claire was ushering Lisa up the stairs, whispering urgently. "It's probably nothing. It was just a little bit. You're going to rest and I'm going to bring you food. Caleb has a restroom upstairs so you don't have to go far. It'll all be fine."

Dean put on his jacket. "I'll be back."

* * *

TBC


	14. Chapter 13 - It didn't help

Chapter 13 – It didn't help.

* * *

Sam had to suppress a grin when he woke from his nap. Adam had all the phones and Sam's tablet in front of him at the couch. When one rang, Adam answered according to the label he'd put on the phones with masking tape. "Dean's phone… He is out of pocket but maybe I can help… No name at the moment but I can look that up… Well, dangerous times… According to the books, you can kill a revenant with some silver spikes and nail it into its own gravebed… then why did you ask? … Ah… Well… 'kay. Glad I passed." Adam flicked his fingers over the tablet. "Gremlins are not real. Was there a reason you called?"

"Adam, who is it?" Sam sat up.

"Garth?"

"Here." Sam took the phone. "Garth, buddy. What do you need?"

"I was lookin' for your brother and some kid answered his phone. I thought you'd been hijacked."

"Just a rookie looking for some miles." Sam chuckled.

"Well, I got a letter from your brother, dated some years ago. I didn't know him then so I figured I'd run it by you."

"A letter?" Sam sat up. "What's it say?"

"Seems like it's in a shorthand. Just a note, really. Says… "Garth, tell my brother that we're okay. We may be in for a long haul and I'm told time is passing there, too. Could be a week, could be seven months. Keep the family safe. Check in on Darlene's friends for me, I need to know they're safe, too. It's big and nothing is permanent. I need you to understand that nothing is permanent." That's it."

"Strange. What's the postmark on it?"

"Lincoln, Nebraska. September 12, 1998."

Sam scribbled the information down. "Thanks, Garth."

"Your brother find a Delorean or something?"

"The things my brother finds could fill a set of encyclopedias."

"You need my help?"

"Nah. You doing okay?"

"I'm fine. The pack is fine."

"Then you keep it doing fine. Leave the hunting to us."

"Who is Garth?" Adam asked when Sam hung up.

"He used to be a hunter. He's a werewolf now. He's got a whole pack who seem to be able to control themselves. They stay out of the papers and we leave them alone." Sam motioned to the coffee table. "We had a friend who used to do that for us."

"Phones kept ringing and I kept answering." Adam shrugged. "I needed a system."

"You're supposed to be resting."

"Only so much resting I can do when these meds work so well." Adam sniffed. "That's a nifty tablet you got there."

"You know… we were… literally born to be Men of Letters but I think you are particularly suited to it." Sam mulled that over. "Dean and I have hunters' blood… we keep screwing shit up but you…"

"Maybe that's what I should do. Men of Letters. No hunting. I don't like killing things. I was going to be a doctor."

"You still could be. Med student by day, Man of Letters by night."

"Maybe…" Adam sighed. "I'd just like to get off my ass for more than ten minutes."

"Give it a couple more days." Sam promised.

The front door opened. Lisa bustled in with a pot. She dropped it on the stove and stormed into the living room. "You can thank your brother."

Then she was gone. Sam got up to investigate. It was a pot of soup, presumably, for Adam. Half an hour later, Ben walked into the house. He gathered all the trash in the house and set it out on the curb. Sam stopped him. "What changed her mind?"

Ben shrugged. "Tomorrow morning is garbage pickup. It's set out." Ben leaned on the counter. "She got a letter in the mail. Took it to her room. Then she came out all flustered. I only caught the envelope. It's from Dean. She… I know they hooked up and she probably told him that she was clear on the rules but she's disgustingly smitten. She was waiting for him to call and he didn't but then she got that letter… that's old school. Letters."

"That's my brother. Old school." Sam nodded.

"I don't know him. I know he barely likes kids… Is he okay? For my mom?"

"I can't guarantee that he won't break her heart. He's good at breaking hearts." Sam started. "He'd die for her though. He's good at that, too. He's loyal."

"Loyal." Ben ran that word over in his head. "She hasn't had a loyal boyfriend in a long time. Guess she's due." With that, he left the house.

"Is his cock made out of gold or something?" Adam asked. "Cause… I mean… she's hot and can get anyone she wants and Dean is… well… Dean… so either his cock is made out of gold or he's some kind… of I don't even know."

"He's charming when he wants to be but it's more than that." Sam shook his head. "I wonder what's in that letter." Sam paced the living room. "Why did he send that letter to Garth and not here?"

"Garth called your cell. Either he thought you wouldn't be here or…" Adam shoved a cracker in his mouth. "Or he's keeping the pathway clear. No one knows about Claire, right?"

"But he sent a letter to Lisa."

"We're protected here. All the mumbo jumbo on the walls. Is Lisa protected?"

"I'm not sure. I haven't been to her house since we've been in town."

"I can go look." Adam offered. "Ben probably needs some ball practice."

* * *

Lisa set her bag down and put the mats away in the hall closet. She ticked off another set of bills on her chart. 10 more sessions with that client and she could put a down payment on that rehab studio she wanted. She found Ben tossing a baseball into the net in the backyard. "Did you tell them about trash day?"

"I even set the trash out for them." Ben tossed another ball.

"Thank you for going over there."

"He kind of seems like a jerk, Mom." Ben told her and tossed the ball again.

"Who?"

"Who else? Dean."

"Ben…"

"I asked his brother about him, you know… he said that he'll probably break your heart, it's what he does."

"I'm a grown up. I know what I'm getting into."

"He stares at me. It's creepy."

"There are things about him that you don't know."

"And you do?"

"Yeah. I happen to know that he had a kid and probably around your age."

"You didn't ask where the kid was?"

"Gone from the look on his face."

"Oh." Ben paused in throwing the balls. "What was in that letter?"

"None of your business."

"Was it gross?"

"No." Lisa scoffed and turned to go inside. She started making dinner and when he walked in he looked contrite. "You hungry?"

"Yeah… I was also told that he's loyal."

"Loyal."

"As in… he's the lay down his life even if you're not together anymore type."

"This protective streak of yours is sweet but weird." She told him.

"Well, now I know what it feels like to get your heart smashed and I've seen it happen to you too many times."

"I thought you liked Dean."

"I liked him until he hooked up with you and didn't call."

"We didn't—"

"Yeah, you did." Ben made a face at her. "I had laundry duty. You didn't clean up."

Lisa stammered for a long moment.

"I'm gonna take a shower." Ben left alone to her stunned silence.

Lisa had dinner on the table and a bottle of wine open when he joined her. They ate in silence for a while. "Honey, are you having sex?"

"Me?" Ben blinked at her.

"It's just a question."

"No." Ben shook his head. "I'm not ready."

"Okay." Lisa nodded. "I know we haven't really had that talk."

"And I don't want to have it with you."

"Understood but…"

"No, Mom. Coach…"

"Please, don't have sex talks with your coach." Lisa sighed.

"I'm not stupid and I'm not a child. I know what goes where and I know I… well, I know enough to know I'm not ready." Ben stared at his plate for a long time. "I didn't mean to make you feel bad."

"It's not that."

"Mom… I'm sorry he didn't… that he's not what you wanted."

"Don't apologize for other men, Ben. Once you start, you won't ever stop."

"I got homework." Ben took his plate to the sink and left her to her glass.

Lisa took out the letter. She read it over again. It didn't help. She almost wished he'd just left town without saying a word the way she originally thought. She could handle the infatuation if she hadn't slept with him. She could have gotten over it if he'd just bailed on her. She had watched him give her son some pointers in the backyard. Had watched him walk away and glance back at her half a dozen times. Then this letter had shown up.

'Lisa, I'm terrible at these things. I swore to myself that I wasn't going to do it. Then you asked me into your laundry room. I couldn't say no and I really didn't want to leave. I got a job and I had to go right away. I don't know what they told you but it was important for me to go. I am sorry that I didn't say goodbye. I'm sorry that I've never been the sort of man you deserve. I don't know when I'm coming back and I wouldn't want you being hurt on my account. Thanks for letting me spend the night with your family. Dean.'

Lisa pondered over it through the rest of the bottle. It was such a strange letter to receive from someone she was convinced wouldn't have cared one way or another.

* * *

Sam showed Adam the setup. "Here, you have some minor details of what that identity entails and roughly how to verify that you are in charge of a department."

"You guys do this a lot?"

"Yeah." Sam nodded. "You know… Dean had this idea that we were going to teach you to hunt and I was dead set against it."

"Why?" Adam blinked at him. "I mean, why would he teach me to hunt?"

"Because… since you've been out of the world, you wouldn't exactly get to go back to your life."

Adam nodded. "I guess that makes sense. I'm not sure I'd made a good hunter."

"Me either but I've never seen you at it." Sam shrugged. "This, though. Reading up on hunting and helping. I think it could be your thing. We had a few friends who did this for us but they were hunters and so they're all…"

"Dead."

"Yeah." Sam took a breath. "I've actually been working on incorporating their journals into the database. It's time-consuming because I'm having to cross-reference the Men of Letters database with the existing journals I have and it's sort of turned into this thing." Sam tapped a few places. "So, I've… well… Charlie created these headings…"

"So there's a definition of a thing and then a method of destruction and then links to the journals where hunters came up against them. Neat."

"Then I add notes if that thing wasn't effective and why. For example, a vetala… my father killed a single vetala but I was nearly killed by a set. They normally feed in pairs. Dean knew that but I didn't."

"So, you've got a notation and a reference to his journal." Adam nodded. "This is epic."

"Game changing. I'd want to make sure this never fell into the wrong hands but as long as this family hunts…"

"What?"

"Well, it ends with us. None of us have children and I'm not sure we'd raise them to hunt if we did."

"You sure?"

"I wouldn't… Dean… wouldn't."

"Huh." Adam shrugged. "Seems like a family thing."

"And it's given this family nothing but grief." Sam shook his head at the journal in his hand. His own journal but the pages were hardly touched because he generally put his notes directly onto his tablet.

"That's kind of sad." Adam flicked through the tablet. "What's going to happen to all of this?"

"I don't know." Sam shook his head. "We'll probably pass it on to some hunter who falls in close enough to be family… but there's not many of those left and I'm not sure Dean would let it happen again."

"How do you mean?"

"We've lost a lot of people who were like family and it nearly killed Dean the last time." Sam sniffed and cast his eyes down. "Me, too."

"Who was it?"

"A girl. Probably the only one Dean didn't ever want to sleep with… and probably only because he wasn't her type." Sam laughed to himself. "They actually probably would have been excellent wingmen for each other. I don't know that they ever picked up women together. Charlie was… She was one of a kind."

"She was a hunter?"

"Yeah. She was a hacker first. Then we needed her for a hunt and then she learned about hunting. She went to Oz for a while."

"Oz… the prison?"

"The magical dimension."

"Huh." Adam shook his head. "I guess anything and everything is possible. Anything that is not real?"

"Unicorns. Aliens."

"Oh… just those things."

* * *

TBC


	15. Chapter 14 - I never said I didn't care

Chapter 14 – I never said I didn't care.

* * *

Dean walked in the door with Dr. Robert in tow. Caleb blinked at them. "Who's this?"

"A doctor." Dean answered and pointed. "They're upstairs."

"I want this understood. I am not an obstetrician. Last time I had a lady in stirrups, I was just learning to shave." Dr. Robert held his hand out.

Dean laid a wad of bills in his hand. "You came on recommendation for your discretion which is mostly what I care about."

"My fee…" Dr. Robert looked over the bills. "Covers discretion."

Caleb ran his hands through his hair and blinked for a long time. Dean crossed his arms and stared up at the ceiling. "So, what is happening with the ladies upstairs?"

"Lisa is pregnant and demons want to kill her baby." Dean answered. "I'm making sure that kid makes it into the world."

"And the doctor?" Caleb asked.

"John Winchester recommends him in a pinch. Distant relation." Dean cleared his throat at the look. "Anyway, I overheard Claire and Lisa worried about something. I found him."

"I called Jefferson but he's out." Caleb rubbed his face.

"Yeah. Come on." Dean hauled Caleb to the kitchen and they kept busy with the silver and iron.

A bit later, all three came down the stairs. Dr. Robert examined the bottles Claire had in the bag on the table. Lisa sat and ate an orange. "Someone's done this before."

"Guilty." Claire nodded. "We've been on the road, I gathered what I could."

"These are good." Dr. Robert nodded. "I see no immediate danger but being so early, anything that might happen will happen suddenly. You're active and stressed. I suggest a reduction in one or the other. De-stress or rest. It's not uncommon for some bleeding. Just a bit is fine. We get into menstrual flow quantities then we're in danger." He adjusted his glasses. "Find a hobby that keeps you still. Bed rest is only going to go so far and really being completely still is bad. Gentle exercise."

"Okay." Lisa nodded.

"I'm just over the state line. I can be here in a couple of hours." He pulled out his card. "Don knows my fee."

Dean pulled a wad of cash out of his pocket and handed it over. "Consider that a retainer."

"You got it." Dr. Robert nodded to them all and made his escape.

"Where do you get all that money?" Lisa asked softly.

"I gamble." Dean answered then got back to work with the consecrated iron. "So… how's junior?"

"He took some blood but physically she's fine, if a bit tired." Claire smoothed back Lisa's hair.

"Can I go outside?" Lisa asked softly.

"The property's pretty big. Come on." Claire motioned to the back door. Dean stiffened. "I got her."

"You armed?" Dean asked.

"I got holy water in a flask, iron blade in my boot and my gun." Claire waved him off. She paused as she passed him. "And I know this property inside and out."

"Stay out of the barn." Caleb grunted. When they were outside, Caleb looked to Dean, startlingly sober. "Did Jefferson tell you how he found me?"

"Just said he found you on a hunt."

"A demon killed my girl. She was pregnant. You keep those girls away from me."

"I got lots to teach you. You able to learn or is your brain too pickled?"

"I learn just fine." Caleb motioned to the doors. "I… don't sleep at night. I can make sure nothing gets in."

"That's okay. I'm on watch."

"I haven't seen you sleep yet… so if you need to sleep… I got this."

Dean looked at Caleb. "Yeah, sure. Maybe. One of us will be up, though. Me or Darlene."

"Sure thing. You don't know me."

"I know we kind of took over but Jefferson said you might need us, too."

"I see her… when I shut my eyes… The way we found her." Caleb's voice started to waver.

"It might never leave you, man. Even if it's not like that. I still see my dad on a hospital bed… the way he looked when they stopped working on him. It doesn't leave you."

"You ever seen someone… torn up?"

"Too many times." Dean looked at Caleb. "If you realize, one day, that it doesn't bother you… that's when you should be worried."

"Does it bother you?"

"Terrifyingly enough, I'm at a point where I'm barely disgusted by it." Dean got back to work on their supplies. Around nightfall, Claire and Lisa came back inside to eat something and get to bed. A couple of hours later, Claire came back down the stairs. Caleb was drinking and obsessively checking the doors and windows. Dean nodded to her. "He's still deep in the fear."

Claire hugged herself and lowered her voice. "It hurts me to see him like this. I only… there was maybe twice he got bad like this."

"I think maybe this is the best he's been in years."

"He has hair." Claire marveled. "He never would grow it out and it looks good."

"I meet him in about a year, that hairline already made a break for his back." Dean snickered. "I miss him."

"Who are you telling?" Claire snorted. "You should sleep."

"I'm fine."

"You haven't slept in days."

"I'm fine."

"No, you aren't." She stared at him. "Three hours. Please."

"Fine."

"You are tired. You gave in too easily."

"Well, I'm just trying to hold it together." Dean sighed and made a move for the couch but Caleb was setting up shop to clean guns and drink. Dean reached over and took the booze from him. "No."

Dean trudged upstairs and prepared himself to sleep on the floor. Knife nearby, Dean let himself doze for a while. Then he jerked up at a sound.

"Sorry, I thought you were Claire." Lisa whispered from where she was sitting up on the edge of the bed.

"My boobs aren't nearly as awesome as hers." Dean rolled over onto his back.

"Don't sell yourself short. I like your boobs." She giggled when she got a chuckle out of him. "See, I'm not so bad."

Dean's smile faded. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I'm sleeping too much." She sighed. "You want to take the bed? I think I need to get up for a while."

"No."

"Come on. There's a nice rocking chair right there. I promise not to move." She stared at his face in the dark but the moonlight fell short of his face. "Did I do something to you? I know that there's a lot of years between last month and when you come from but… if we know each other after all this time… aren't we friends? At the very least?"

"We hooked up last month… we don't speak for eight years and eight months. I just show up on your doorstep expecting to get laid and I gate-crashed your kid's eighth birthday party… a kid I didn't know you had." Dean barked out a harsh laugh. "I even thought he was mine for a few minutes."

"That's when I tell you about the barback?"

"Yeah." Dean shifted his weight but it just wasn't comfortable. "Then I don't see you again for another three years. I show up on your porch… devastated and tortured and in the most dangerous PTSD imaginable for a suburban mom."

"And…"

"And I put you and your son in danger too many times and I… well, you felt it was best that I didn't live with you guys anymore and we went our separate ways. I won't see you until right before I get sent to this time."

"So… we're not friends."

"Not so much."

"Oh." She huffed. "If we're not friends… why are you here, now?"

"It's complicated."

"I figured as much." She shifted a bit on the bed, it creaked. "I just don't get it. Why are you so invested in this if you don't care about me?"

"I never said I didn't care." Dean sat up. "It's complicated."

"How long did we live together?"

"Little over a year."

"And Bam? Over?"

"Yeah." Dean rolled onto his side, facing away from her. "You rightly put the welfare of your son over your feelings for me. I did my best to respect that."

"Oh." She let the word out in a breath.

A few minutes later, Dean heard the door shut.

* * *

Sparring. Late afternoon. Booze poured off Caleb in lakes of sweat but Dean taught the man some of the better moves for subduing man and beast alike. It kept Dean out of Lisa's orbit for a while. Lisa was getting Claire to do some yoga with her and Dean could never stand to watch Lisa workout without getting turned on. But he was probably harder on Caleb than he needed to be. The man had learned to fight but still wasn't very effective at it. Once the booze had come out of Caleb's pores and he was chugging water, he was better able to keep up. Caleb's eyes started wandering the ladies on the porch. Dean whapped him in the chest and kept the lessons going.

Claire was working on a difficult pose and had about nailed it when she realized she couldn't hear the birds anymore. Getting to her feet she looked around and found that time was standing still. Lisa was stuck mid pose. Dean was about to clobber Caleb, again but his arm was in midswing.

"Hello, Claire." A voice spoke from behind her. Sitting on the porch was a young woman with thick curls around her face. "Name's Billie."

"Hi." Claire turned to face her fully. "What are you?"

"Asked like a hunter." She nodded to Dean. "That is the bane of my existence. Did he tell you why you're here?"

"To save Lisa and her baby."

"But did he tell you why?"

"Ben kills Crowley."

"Oh? Is that what they told you? That this is a Crowley motivated event." Billie smiled. "If it were that simple, Crowley could have popped that Angel in his pocket to ANY time in that child's life and extinguished it. There were decades of time to kill Ben Braedan. When he was vulnerable and weak and undefended by any Winchester."

"Then why send us here?"

"Maybe it's why time is passing there. Ever think of that?"

"What?" Claire straightened. "Dean said it could be simultaneous. That it was likely we'd go back to when we left off."

"It could be… but it's not." Billie smiled. "Time is passing there, girl. And your girl… well, she's been traipsing all over the country because you vanished." Billie rose to her feet. "You've got to know that hanging around Winchesters is likely to shorten a lifespan. You could die in this time and never get back to your girl and she'll never trust anyone ever again."

"Why?"

"This is why I'm here. I know you have great affection for Lisa. I know that you're upset with Dean over the decisions he's taken from her. So, in a sense… we're doing everyone a favor just now. Lisa will have to make a decision soon and if Dean is around… he might ensure that decision goes a certain abortive way. And I'm not talking about this… sweet delusional girl you're protecting here. This one's fate is set. She'll have this baby and he'll grow up and he'll resent every moment of not having a father. I'm talking about the jaded woman in your time. The one who is about to get the last surprise that she'd want at her age."

Claire studied Billie but she wasn't giving anything away. "So, Dean got sent here… to protect a young pregnant Lisa so that he wouldn't interfere with an adult pregnant Lisa."

"There you go. I knew you were smart. John Winchester has a thing for smart blondes."

"So, why is that baby so important?"

"That's the child who kills Crowley."

"I thought you said this wasn't a Crowley motivated event."

"Crowley doesn't know or else he'd be sure to kill her now… especially with Dean otherwise engaged."

"Shouldn't Lisa… know everything before she decides to have Dean's child?"

"We're counting on her ignorance."

"What?"

"This Lisa." Billie motioned to the girl mid pose. "She's a dreamer. She has this baby which she names after her father and she's got this half-thought that what she's got between her legs is so awesome that his daddy is going to come back and they'll live happily ever after. We'll wipe her memory and she'll forget this little visit from the future, by the way. Then when he doesn't call or swing by, her heart builds up a little shell that grows thicker and thicker and when she sees the greatest bit of sex she ever had, she'll lie and say her son is not his so that he won't take his son away from her. She can see that part of him that puts family above everything else. She knows that her sweet baby boy will get swept away by the manliness and leave her behind. The Lisa who left Dean is still a dreamer but she knew Dean would always come back if she didn't shut that door. He knew he'd come back if she was within reach so he wiped her memory. You see?"

"They're soulmates." Claire breathed out, remembering those words Sam had tried to put in Dean's ears.

"Bound by the bond set by a Cupid, instructed by heaven or God or whoever thinks they're in charge these days. So now we've got a Lisa who never remembers meeting Dean when she was a young dreamer. She was never shattered by him. She got to have a fun little romp in her laundry room with someone who reeked of danger. She's got one son nearly out of the nest… why not have this one? Why not start over with the security of her adult life? Maybe that dangerous fellow will wander back around."

"What?"

"Oh yeah. The Lisa of your time is a dreamer because she can't remember how all her dreams were crushed. It helps that loverboy over there sent her a note to cool the sting of not calling when he left town."

"Dean should know that Ben is his son."

"Not my burden." Billie waved that off.

"This is cruel."

"It is what it is."

"Why tell me?"

"It'd be easy to upset all this planning. All this run around. All you'd have to do is terrify her with the truth. Tell her what life will be like. The tears of being a single mother. The heartbreak of loving a Winchester. She'll run to an abortion clinic. Solve so many problems."

"I couldn't do that."

"Sure you could. Better yet… slit her throat in her sleep. I'll reap her soul and she never has to be resurrected by that half-wit angel."

"Who are you?"

"Someone's who is tired of the chaos caused by Dean Winchester and his Fabio-haired brother."

"There's got to be something in it for you." Claire felt her hair stand on end.

"Order restored." Then Billie vanished but not before a date whispered on the wind.

Claire looked around. Lisa was blinking hard at Claire's sudden new location. Dean was staring, too. "You!" Claire pointed at him. "Inside, now!"

* * *

TBC


	16. Chapter 15 - This is family

Chapter 15 – This is family.

* * *

Erica sat across the booth from John and glared. "Where's my mom?"

"On a hunt."

"She didn't tell me she was going hunting." Erica shook her head and her hands lay flat on the table top. John marveled at how serious the girl looked and how that pose was remarkably like her mother.

"She didn't know she was going until it was time to go." John tried to remember the tone of voice he used with Dean before Mary died. That was hard to reach for but his harsher tone of voice wasn't going to work with this kid. She had little in the way of fear.

"She always tells me." Head shaking again. Eyes moving around the table but face forward. Careful and calculating.

"She didn't have time." John stared back at her.

"I don't like it here." Her voice was small.

"Looks like you're having plenty of fun."

"Every kid everywhere thinks I'm weird."

"You are weird. It's not a bad thing. People used to think Sam and Dean were weird when they were little."

"Oh." Erica looked up when Kelsey set a plate of nachos on the table. She smiled a little and picked at them for a bit. John reached over and took one. Erica didn't even look up at him.

"I'm gonna stick around until your mom comes back."

"Okay." She nodded. "But I'm staying with my Uncle Peter."

"Okay." He nodded.

Peter walked over, turning an envelope over in his hands. "This is weird shit. Letter from Darlene looks like."

"Oh yeah?" John looked up.

"Date on it, though." Peter tapped the corner.

"Well, it's addressed to the girl." John gestured.

"Yeah, I guess it is." Peter handed the letter to Erica.

She stared at the handwriting on the front before opening it. "It's from my mom." She read it and looked at the both of them. They were staring and watching. She handed the letter to Peter first. Peter read it over and then handed it to John.

John took it and read it carefully. "Sweetie. I am so sorry. That fellow in the trenchcoat said we had to go save someone. I didn't have a chance to leave you a note or call the school or anything. We got popped back in time to save someone's life. You remember how Hermione and Harry used the time turner to save Buckbeak and free Sirius? John Winchester is good people. His sons are good people. I'm told you already left the house like we planned if something happened to me. I'm sorry I couldn't get word sooner. I'm sure you could stay with Peter until I get back but I think he's busy. John and Sam know what they're doing. You probably need to help them take care of Adam. Adam is more like Lisa than he is like us. Let Lisa know that I support her decision when she wonders what I would say. Remember that. I support her decision. You'll know when to say it. Lisa will look sad and scared and she'll be looking for Dean. I don't know when I'm coming back but I am coming back. I will. I promise. Please be nice to John. He only wants to help and he owes me favors. I love you. Please don't be married before I get home. Love, Claire Bailey."

"Bailey." John spoke aloud.

"It's our secret name. That's how I know it's her." Erica whispered.

"It's a good secret name."

"Will you take me home?"

"Yeah. Sure." John nodded.

"Is my mom really coming back?"

"Yes. She's really good at what she does and she's with Dean. He's really good at what he does." John nodded to her. He looked to Peter, who looked relieved. "I got her. I'm safe."

"Good." Peter nodded. "Glad to hear from her… that… timestamp… that happens?"

"I'm told." John nodded. "It's heavy stuff. Don't go poking at it."

"You got it." Peter held his hands up. "Darlene helped us put some friends to rest. I don't keep souvenirs from dead bikers no more."

"She's good at putting people to rest." John nodded. "Where's your stuff?"

"In the backroom." Peter grinned. "She takes that bag everywhere."

"Your mother taught you well." John commented as Peter got back to his customers. "Come on. Let's finish these nachos, get a milkshake in us and hit the road."

"Mom says we have to do an hour run if we drink a milkshake."

"Mom is stuck in 1998. She can't make us run."

"Mom said you were trouble."

"Mom is always right."

"Can I call you Pop-pop?"

"I'm okay with that." John stole another nacho. "Can I call you… Pippi?"

"Why?"

"Cause you have a bunch of freckles on your nose like Pippi Longstocking."

"Who is that?" Erica narrowed her eyes as she dug into her lunch.

"She's a little girl whose father is a sea captain. When he goes missing, she goes to live in a house he bought for her. She tells all the neighbor children about her wild adventures on the high seas. She's strong as an ox, keeps gold in her pockets and has more sense than most adults."

"She sounds awesome."

"My stepdad thought she was hilarious… mostly cause he thought girls weren't worth much." John nodded. "My wife liked her. She always wanted a little girl so she could read the stories to her."

"What happened to your wife?"

"She died when Dean was a little boy and Sam was a baby." John cleared his throat and purposefully changed the subject. "Who are Hermione and Harry?"

"Hermione is a witch and Harry is a wizard and they went to school together. Mom read me all the books even though I was supposed to wait to read the last books when I was older."

"Why?"

"Mom says that we're only supposed to read one a year because when Harry grows older, his problems are for older people. But we both got excited and read all the books together. Then we watched all of the movies one summer when she wasn't hunting. Hermione is a big nerd but she's the smartest witch there ever was. Harry's a hero but mostly because he doesn't think before he does something. Ron is their friend and he's kind of a scaredy cat but he always pulls through. They all help Harry fight Voldemort because he's mad Harry didn't die when he killed his parents. This dude is like… the worst. He kills all the people he didn't like and he's magic and got himself all gross and hiding in people's heads."

John stared in wonder. Dean had been a chatty kid. Sam even had his moments with his nerdy shit but nothing had prepared John for this. The milkshake had been a mistake. It hyped her up. She talked about Harry Potter through New Mexico, Oklahoma and Kansas. John had to pull off to get a bed and hope she hit the hay, too.

In the morning, they ate pancakes and John let her play in a school yard while he made phone calls. He updated Adam. He called a few numbers and either got disconnected messages or news that his friends had passed. It wasn't that he didn't believe Dean and Sam but he had to check for himself. On the tenth name, he saw a teenage girl talking to Erica. "Pippi!"

"Pop-Pop! This is Emma! She's looking for Dean!"

John took the girl with them to a neutral location. He kept Erica on his side of the table at a Biggerson's. French fries all around. He slid a piece of paper across the table. "You know what this is?"

Emma read down the list. Her name was last. "No."

"That is a list of dead that my son wrote out for me. That's you on the bottom."

"Well, it's my name." Emma gave the paper back.

"Why are you looking for Dean?"

"That's between me and Dean."

John gave her a wide smile and thought he saw her flinch a bit. "You're tough. I see. You remind me of him. Dean. The mouth, the attitude… those eyes."

"I just need to find him." Her chin started to waver.

"When did you come back?" John asked. "I'm surprised to be here, too."

"Dean… might help me."

"Might."

"He might not. His brother… might kill me again and that would be better than being alive right now."

"Why is that?"

"If… they find out that I'm back… they will kill me and they won't be as kind as Sam was. They will make me an example. I… my blood is mixed."

"Amazon. That's what Sam said. Wouldn't your blood be mixed anyway?"

"Not with hunter blood. I… they said I would be weak. They said that I couldn't be one of them if I didn't prove myself and… I got myself killed. I forgot he had a brother and I… I didn't forget but I didn't really know what kind of hunters Sam and Dean were."

"How do I know this is real? This… fear of yours? How do I know that you aren't looking to finish the job? Hmmm?" John asked her.

Emma stared at a French fry. "He was supposed to be my first kill. My first test. I failed. They aren't taking me back now. Not even if I complete it. I'm damaged goods."

"Why do you want Dean?"

"I could see it in his face. He wanted to believe me when I asked for help to leave them. I know he didn't, though. I know he was… he was going to kill me. I could see it. In his eyes."

"He has really expressive eyes." John nodded. "Well, Dean is out of pocket. No one can get to him right now. How you found us…." He gestured to Erica and himself. "Is a friggin' miracle. We were driving through and only stopped so she could stretch her legs." He looked her over. "How long would you say you've been looking for Dean?"

"A couple of weeks." Her voice wavered that time. "I should be… older by now. I mean, more mature. It's like… I stopped growing. I'm stuck at the age I died." Her eyes welled over and she hastily wiped the tears away.

"Well, that's interesting." John looked at Erica. "Adam's the age he died. I'm the age I died."

"Adam didn't know the Harry Potter books were all movies now."

"We're not starting the Harry Potter talk again." John warned her. Erica stuck her tongue out at him.

"Why are you… driving around with a little girl?" Emma asked.

"I'm doing a friend a favor. If I take you with me, you have to know that you will have to be on your best behavior. Everyone is trained to kill. Everyone." John pointed to Erica. "She will stab you."

"I have seven knives at home but I only brought my little one." Erica pulled out a knife from her pocket and opened the blade. "Mom said I can rip four internal organs in 30 seconds." She snapped it shut and put it away. "We practiced on the Jell-O dummies at a medical college when we lived in Iowa."

Emma's stomach growled. Loudly. John sighed. "Eat up, kid. I got to make a phone call. Order whatever you want. Pippi… no more milkshakes."

John watched as Emma started eating ravenously and flagged down the waitress. He stepped toward the bathroom to call Sam. Adam answered. Again. "Get your brother."

"Which one?"

"Dammit, Adam. I'm not playing. Put Sam on the phone."

"Kay." Adam made a high-pitched noise. "Sammo! Dadderino's a hollerin'."

"Dad?" Sam's voice came over the line. "Something wrong?"

"I made a pit-stop in Kansas. Just… to get some shut eye… let the kid burn some energy. Then a teeny-bopper found Erica on the playground. Name is Emma. Amazon. Looking for Dean and terrified out of her mind."

"Wait, what?"

"I didn't think they were real. I need some info, pronto."

"What? What do you mean? Info. Kill her."

"I don't think she's got supernatural juice, kid. I'm watching her. Either she's due for an Oscar or she's really scared and thinks Dean is the only person who can protect her."

"She tried that shit on Dean before. That's why I had to put her lights out in the first place. You're telling me she got brought back? She's going to kill him again."

John watched the table as burgers were delivered and the girl laid into one like she'd never eaten before. "I got my wits about me but I believe her. I'm not entirely sure she's one of us but she's not an Amazon anymore. She said she should be full grown by now. She looks… 14, maybe 15. Possibly 16 but late bloomer if she is… it would figure. Dean was a late bloomer. She's tall but awkward."

"Dad."

"She's been roaming around about two weeks. She's starving but clean. She's afraid the Amazons will find her before she gets to Dean. Well, she's not getting to Dean anytime soon. If I don't bring her, I got no doubt she'll follow. I think we should keep her close. Did you know Claire's been teaching Erica on gelatin cadavers?"

"Wouldn't surprise me given what I've found around the house. You can't be serious though. Emma is a monster."

"Was a monster. Now, she's a scared little girl who was probably trying to get some food out of an nine year old on a playground. She's weak, probably…. And about to make herself sick she keeps eating that fast." John rolled his eyes and remembering Dean eating that way before his last growth spurt… and ever since.

"We don't have time for monster reform school."

"Normally, I'd agree."

"So, why not now?"

"Our world is not black and white. You know that. This is family."

"Dean banged an Amazon during mating season. His accident isn't family!"

"Samuel Winchester, I'm not asking your permission. I am preparing you for what's going to happen. I am bringing your brother's daughter to the house. We are going to protect her until we have to kill her for being a monster or until your brother gets back to make a decision about it. Are we clear?"

The dial tone rang in his ear. John dropped the phone on the hook and returned to the table. Erica slid a plate in front of him. "We got you a burger with extra onions. Emma says she's never had an avocado before. So, we got her a burger with all the extra vegetables on it. I didn't get anything cause I'm still full from pancakes. I was telling Emma about Katniss and she wants to read it. I have all the books and the first two movies."

"What's that one about?" John asked as he cut his burger in half and put half on Emma's plate.

"Mom says a lot of big words but I haven't learned them all but the government is mean and is starving everyone and makes everyone work to send supplies to the capital and every year they pick a boy and a girl from all of the districts to fight to the death."

"That's my kind of story. Come on. Let's eat up and get on the road."

* * *

Sam paced and almost threw his phone. Adam watched. Then Adam got bored. He was reheating some soup when Sam stormed out of the house. Sighing, he sat down to watch the news. Storms were abating and humanity was helping the less fortunate. Weird. Adam slurped down the bowl and Netflixed a show he'd wanted to watch but couldn't with the munchkin underfoot. It was dark when Sam stormed back in with a box. He refreshed sigils and protections and then hung sage and other herbs around the house. Then he started stashing weapons everywhere. Behind things, under furniture.

"Something happen?" Adam asked as he looked around for crackers.

"My father is a lunatic." Sam growled out. "When he was possessed, we exorcised him. When we found you… you were a ghoul. We killed the ghoul and gave you a burial. What we don't do is invite monstrous offspring to dinner."

"Monstrous offspring?"

"Dean's… night with an Amazon bore fruit. She was dead and now she's alive and Dad is bringing her here because he fell for her lost little girl act." Sam sank into a chair. "He's got Erica and a homicidal teenager in the car and he's on his way."

"Whoa. We have a niece?"

"You can't go giving a monster family indications. It makes it harder to kill them."

"What? Like… not naming your food?"

"Something like that."

"She's cute, right? Adorable. Female version of his first born. Yeah, he's going to kill his only grandchild." Adam nodded. "I don't know you guys that well but some of your more… interesting personality quirks are telling. Family is HUGE in this family. I don't belong here and every single one of you is welcoming me into the fold like it's no big that I have no idea what's going on ever. I'm not a hunter. I'm not a Man of Letters. I only barely qualify as a Winchester and… I'm sort of in the deepest depression on Earth."

"Adam?"

"What? It was my turn to have an emotional outburst." Adam wiped his hands on his shirt and grabbed a 7Up out of the refrigerator. "He'll bring the girl. You'll do what you do and one of you will kill her if she's actually a monster. Chances are good that if she slips before he gets here, he'll kill her, right?"

"Hopefully but he's been out of the game for nearly a decade." Sam sighed. "I mean, he's still got skills. He hitchhiked across the country and banged a hot blonde in his first two weeks back."

"And rescued a nine year old from a biker gang."

"Eh. I think he rescued the biker gang from the nine year old. She's a weird kid."

"Yeah, she is. She's an awesome kid. She's going to be… the most awesome person alive."

"If her childhood doesn't get ruined by her mother's death."

"There is that. Parents or lack thereof can really fuck up a kid." Adam shrugged. "Well, if he's right, we have a niece. If you're right, we have to kill a teenager."

"Dad wants it to be Dean's decision… so he's thinking we lock her up until Dean's back."

"That's fucked." Adam scoffed. "Our dad… he's fucked."

"Yeah." Sam ran his hands through his hair.

* * *

John only made it to the Illinois border before he had to pull over and get a room. He must have looked harried when he paid because the clerk gave him a set of noise cancelling headphones. "For the grandkids."

"There's only one pair." John motioned to the two giggling girls.

"You wear them." The clerk pointed out.

"Thanks." John walked them all to the room and immediately set to crash. Erica had a bag full of things but Emma had only the clothes on her back. John reached into his bag and pulled out a shirt for her to wear. "We'll get you some things tomorrow."

"Thanks." She rubbed at her wrist for a moment then took the shirt and the pair of shorts he offered.

John went to the bathroom to wash up. When he was done, both girls were in bed and Erica was quietly telling a story to Emma. John looked at the headphones but didn't dare use them. He shut his eyes and didn't sleep. He listened to them whisper and tell their story until he heard them both sleeping. He must have dozed off because he woke to a scream. He leapt out of bed, knife in hand. Emma sat on the edge of the bed, half-turned to look at a bloody mess. Emma's breathing was heavy as she looked around helplessly. Erica sat up and made a face at the mess. "Ew."

"I don't…" Emma's voice hitched.

John sighed and put his knife away. "Go wash up."

"What's happening?" Emma stared at her bloody thighs. "Am I dying?"

"You got your period, doofus." Erica snorted. "My mom told me all about it but she didn't say it was gross."

"What?" Emma shook her head. "We don't…"

"You didn't used to." John motioned her to get up. "Come on. Go wash up."

Erica was already stripping the bed when Emma got to her feet. John looked at Erica and took the bloody sheets. John sighed and tossed the sheets into the closet. Erica had her shoes on and her jacket on. "Where are you going?"

"There's a store by the front office. She needs girl stuff."

"You know what to buy?"

"No."

"Stay. Sleep in my bed." John grabbed his boots and his jacket. "I think I remember how this goes."

John hustled to the little store and gratefully found a little old woman on duty. She helped him out and found an army blanket for him. When he got in, he passed the little plastic package to Erica, who slipped into the bathroom. John got the blanket over the stain and got himself comfortable. He could see Erica had helped herself to more of his clothes for Emma. He always seemed to be losing articles of clothing to women in need.

Emma and Erica got into the bed and were asleep after while. John didn't sleep. He didn't know what the fuck he was doing. Amazon granddaughter had just become a woman and a nine year old was guiding the way.

Morning found them bundled into the car. John hit drive-thus and hit convenience stores as needed. They pulled into Battle Creek in late afternoon. Emma was quiet and in constant tears. He noticed she kept rubbing her wrist but didn't say anything. Erica did all the talking. John learned all about Hunger Games and Maze Runner. He wondered what in the hell they were letting kids read these days.

Sam was standing in the doorway with a gun when John unloaded the girls. "Put that thing away."

That put Emma over the edge. She was crying and not moving where she stood in the yard looking at Sam. John put his arm around her and guided her into the house and up the stairs. "Take a bath and borrow something from Claire's closet."

Erica hugged Sam and Adam and then raced up to her room. John stomped down and looked at Sam. "She's not a monster but I don't know what the hell to do with her."

"How do you know she's not a monster?"

"Cause she's scared to death." John sighed. "Look… I don't know anything about Amazons but that little girl is falling apart. She got her period last night and freaked out. Erica took point on that one. She keeps staring at her hands and I got no clue."

"Her hands?" Sam made a face and straightened. "She's got a mark on her wrist. They all do. They're branded."

"No. not a mark on her." John shook his head.

"Right here." Sam motioned and grabbed the tablet from the coffee table. A few taps later and he had a picture.

"No. She's a scared little girl… young woman. Jesus." John shook his head. "That say if they bleed?"

Sam tilted his head. "I don't know actually. I do know they go through a mating frenzy every two years… so maybe not."

"You let a nine year old explain the birds and the bees?" Adam cut in.

"She was all over that. Prepared."

"Fucked up." Adam shook his head.

"You see any women around here she can talk to?"

"First time I see her eyes go all…" Sam motioned. "I'm killing her again."

"You got it. Til then… We got to get her clothes. I don't know anything about periods except what Mary used back in the 80s. I don't know if that stuff changes."

The front door opened. Lisa walked through the house to the kitchen with a pot. She returned with the pot she'd dropped off before. "More soup for Adam." Then she tilted her head at John. "Weren't you… where's Claire?"

"Change in plans." John shook his head. Then he tilted his head. "You free right now?"

"No." Sam jumped in. "We don't know anything about her."

"What?" Lisa froze.

"Claire's gone to help Dean with a situation." John started. "On my way back, I got word I had to pick up… it's a long story… but I had to pick up Dean's daughter. Bad home situation and well, Dean has to go deal with that. Claire's offered to help." John gestured upstairs. "The kid has nothing but the clothes I picked her up in and she's in the middle of a huge freak out."

"Dad." Sam ground out.

"Wait, what? Dean has a daughter?" Lisa took a breath.

"Normally, I wouldn't ask but no one around here has a uterus and last night we were in a shitty motel when this poor girl starts bleeding. Apparently, her mother didn't explain it to her. I got Erica to explain something to her… I raised boys. I can't… do the talk. I really wish it had happened before Claire went to meet up with Dean."

"Dad."

"You want me to… go give the talk to Dean's daughter." Lisa looked down to the pot in her hands.

"Dad." Sam bit out.

"What, Sam? Are you going to go up there and tell her about… menstrual napkins and… and… I don't even know what else."

"Well, they aren't called menstrual napkins anymore." Lisa snorted. "You all are out of your depth."

"Exactly." John nodded. "We just got in. Your timing couldn't be more perfect. If you could step in, that'd be great. I'd pay you, honestly. I mean…" He groaned. "And I got to get the girl some clothes. She's bleeding all over my boxers and…"

"I'm going to go check on her. You boys stay down here. Wash this." She handed the pot to Sam.

"Dad." Sam hissed when Lisa disappeared up the stairs. "You can't be serious. If that girl kills Lisa, Dean will kill you."

"Trust me." John looked at the pot. "And get scrubbing."

* * *

Lisa found Emma standing in the bathroom, soaking wet, trying to get a pad to stick to a pair of Claire's shorts. "I'm Lisa. I'm a friend of Dean's… your dad's."

"Oh." Emma paused. "I'm Emma."

"Your grandfather said you were having a time."

"I don't know how this works. My mother never…"

"Where is your mom?"

"I don't know." Emma shook her head and wiped at her eyes. "I can't stop crying."

"It's okay to cry. Do you have cramps?"

"They're not so bad."

"Okay. Let me help. Dry off a bit."

"Okay." Emma nodded and followed instructions. Once she was dressed in some yoga pants and a camisole, Emma listened to Lisa talk while Lisa combed her hair. "That's it?"

"Yep. Unglamorous." Lisa took a breath. "I heard Erica tried to explain it to you."

"Yeah."

"John said you didn't have any clothes."

"He said we were going to buy some."

"Well, let's get Erica and let's go shopping and eat ice cream and the men can fend for themselves."

"I got blood on everything I borrowed from John."

"Come on. We'll the laundry going and then we'll go. You're a woman now. You've got to know these things."

"You're really nice."

"Thank you. Claire is my best friend and the Winchesters are like family to her. So… you're like family to me. Okay?"

* * *

TBC


	17. Chapter 16 - Why are you telling me

Chapter 16 – Why are you telling me?

* * *

Claire took a breath and handed the envelope to Caleb. "Just make sure it gets mailed."

"I'm not your errand boy."

"No, you're a drunken pig and you could do with a purpose even if it's only for 20 minutes."

"You'd be prettier if you shut your mouth."

"Go to hell, Bailey." Claire bit out.

Dean was pacing the house like a caged animal. Lisa was upstairs asleep. He waited until Caleb had gone. "What else did she say?"

"Nothing I could really figure out but we're here… as a distraction. She really wants me to kill Lisa. They just don't want us in the present. Well, you."

"Why?"

"Something needs to happen organically or something." Claire shrugged.

"So, we're here for no reason." Dean sighed.

"You're crawling the walls."

"It's the—"

"Mark. I know. Go check on Castiel and get it out of your system." Claire nodded to the door. When he was gone, Claire did a check on the house. Sigils and circles and all. Then she went upstairs to check on Lisa, who was awake. "Did we wake you?"

"Little bit." Lisa shrugged. "Not so sleepy."

"You haven't asked to check in with your family." Claire prodded.

"I'm not ready to." She saw Claire's look. "We're a little more complicated at the moment. Braedans don't deal with tragedy well."

Claire turned on a lamp and sat. "I have a question for you. If you knew that your children would tie you to the most successful but also dangerous hunting family in the world, would you still have them?"

"I…" Lisa sat up.

"Dean's cursed." Claire offered. "You're about to have his child and you will hide it from him, possibly forever. He wasn't cursed when you made that baby but he is now. In fact, in our time, it's possible he just knocked you up again. That baby will be cursed. I'm certain of it."

"How is he cursed?"

"He's… doomed to walk the Earth forever and thirst for blood. Not like a Vampire, which would be a simple thing to be rid of… but… it's much deeper than that. Right now, he's out there… stirring for a fight. People will die. The small comfort is that he can read people and most of the people he's going to kill are bad people."

"How will my baby be cursed?"

"I don't know yet." Claire looked at her. "In my time, you don't remember this. You don't remember your weekend with Dean with the baby face. You don't remember the bad times with Dean. You don't remember the good times with Dean. You met him at my house and you went to your son's baseball game. You went to dinner after and invited him back to your house. That's what you know about Dean. You want to have his baby?"

"Why are you telling me all this?"

"I can't warn her, in my time. I'm here. Time is passing there. That's why we're here. To take his choice out of the equation. I want it to be your choice and I will support that choice but it has to be yours and I want it to be educated."

"So, what are you asking?"

"You're going to have Ben. He'll be healthy and good and everything you've ever wanted in a child. I'm asking, do you want him to have a sibling when he's 15 years old? Do you want to have a child with Dean… a cursed Dean?"

"I need to think."

"Don't think too hard or too long. I don't know what messages I can get where or when."

* * *

Dean stumbled in, drunk and bloody. He was numb and he couldn't feel the mark but he knew it was there, it was always there. He washed his hands in the kitchen sink. He shrugged out of his clothes and threw them in the washing machine. The shaking had subsided. He set a roll of cash on the counter. He sat in the living room and stared out the window until dawn. He ate a burrito that Claire passed him but stayed right where he was, jeans and no shirt, and watched the window.

Lisa sat on the couch and watched him. "Why did you get that tattoo?"

Dean looked at her. She tapped her left shoulder. "It keeps demons from possessing me."

"Is that a problem?"

"Yeah… at least it used to be."

"I want to take a walk. Claire's asleep. Caleb, too."

Dean nodded and found a shirt. He let her lead the way and kept his eyes peeled for danger, his knife and gun in his pants. He'd forgotten how big Caleb's property was. Then he found he wasn't watching for danger at all. He watched her walk and stretch. Too many weeks had passed. She was starting to show just a bit. Her body gently curved in all the tantalizing ways. He didn't remember catching up to her. He didn't remember putting that first hand on her hip. Just suddenly, he was kissing her breathless and taking her down to the ground beneath him.

Then suddenly, he was still and the Mark quiet and a young naked Lisa cuddled under his arm. He could feel her hand traveling along his collarbone and he wanted to scream. Dean shut his eyes against the bright blue sky. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have."

"I didn't stop you."

"You don't know better." Dean let out a breath and sat up. He could feel shame and rage building again. "You don't know what I am. I am not the man you slept with after an alcohol binge. I'm not that guy anymore and that guy never deserved you either."

"I don't get a choice?"

"No. You need to find someone much better than me." His eyes filled with wet, he blinked them away and ran a hand over his face. He stood up and got his pants back on. She was already back in her shirt. "Please don't tell Claire. She's already pissed at me."

"Why?"

"I didn't tell her that time was passing in our time and her daughter had orders to jet if she didn't come back… well, she didn't and… I only hope her letter gets where it's supposed to go."

"Why do you tell me so much?"

"Because I know they're going to make you forget." Dean turned to look at her. "Please… I've only ever wanted to protect you from what I do."

"You ever think that maybe I could handle it?"

"You shouldn't have to." Dean led the way back to the house. Dean thought she would run upstairs to the room she'd been sleeping in but she started making lunch in the kitchen. Dean sat in the living room and watched her pick up the phone.

"Hi Mom… I know… I'm fine… Well, I met a guy… and he's not the one… I'll be home soon… Nothing… I'm fine… Just needed to get away… I'll come over for dinner when I get back." Lisa laid bacon slices on bread and covered them with lettuce and tomato. "I really wish you didn't use that word… well, given that it would compass the entire world… Bye, Mom."

She hung up the phone and took two plates to the table. "Hey Dean, I made sandwiches."

The phone rang and Lisa answered it. "Hello? … Dammit, who taught you to star 69? … I'm going to kill her… I'm blocking this number." Lisa hung up and dialed quickly before the phone could ring again.

"Thanks." Dean motioned to the sandwich as he sat down. "You called your mom?"

"I've scared her enough for now… if I show up out of the blue and pregnant, she'll die on the spot. This way… she knows I'm running around and when I show up pregnant, she'll just call me a slut again and we'll be back to normal in no time." Lisa bit into her sandwich.

"You're not a slut." Dean told her.

"I know I'm not. She doesn't." She ate for a while. He stared at the remaining half of his sandwich. He put it on her plate when she was done with hers. She ate it. "You know… I don't know what your life is like but I feel like… maybe I would be better off knowing you than not knowing you."

Claire tried not to stare at Caleb while he was reading the book. She recognized it. He practically had it memorized when she met him. It was the book that would eventually help him help a young Claire and Dean find the pixies that had stolen from them. She wanted to walk over and hold him. She ate a twinkie instead. She missed that they came in twos. She ate the other and peered out the window at the growing dark.

"I suck at Latin."

"All you need is a primer." Claire shrugged. "Once you get the basic pronunciation you can read any incantation. It'll work."

"How do you know what you'll need when?"

"Most hunters keep a journal with cribs of what they use most often. Most hunters… specialize." She shrugged at his look. "Everybody's got their something that makes them tick."

"I guess that makes sense." Caleb nodded and tipped his bottle back into his mouth. He looked up at her. "You're… beautiful."

"Thanks." Claire took a step back.

"Why… It was a compliment." He bit out. Angry.

"Not personal. I don't get close to hunters anymore." Claire went back to her book.

"Fucking…" Then he was gone. Pack of cigarettes and a bottle out to the car. Then that took off after a bit.

Dean came up from the basement a while later. "You know he's got a shit load of guns downstairs?"

"He was holding them for a buddy he was working with… right after. He never turned up again." Claire whispered. "Revenant got him. Caleb inherited an ammunitions emporium by accident. Most of it is in the barn. He'll move it in a couple of years when he gets into hydraulics and outfitting cars."

"Claire?" Dean moved closer.

"He's about to meet Bobby and Pastor Jim. They'll change his life. Then he'll meet three hunters. Neely, McLain and Gordon. Gordon will scare the shit out of him… but he'll install the mods to his car and call it a day. Then he starts vetting hunters through your dad so he doesn't get bit the wrong way again."

"I didn't know any hunters knew Gordon until after they were all dead." Dean sighed and sank onto the couch.

"It hurts me to see him like this and I can't give him an inch of kindness." Claire breathed out. "If I'm the slightest bit nice to him… I'll fall for him all over again."

"How many guns does he have out there?"

"A lot."

Dean was the only one left when Caleb got back near dawn. He had lipstick smeared on his neck and shirt. Coffee and shower, Caleb sat across from Dean and ran his hands through his hair. "I need contacts, man."

"Yeah?" Dean shrugged.

"Jeff got me hooked up with a bunch of people I blew off."

"Well, how am I supposed to help with that?"

"You know people, right?"

"I know OF people." Dean cleared his throat. "Look, Jeff knows a ton of people… you should go with his people."

"Like who?"

"I heard Pastor Jim Murphy knows his shit. He's got special talents but I wouldn't go asking after those services. He gives good advice."

"Kay." Caleb wrote down the name. "Jeff knows this guy… owns a junk yard."

"Robert Singer… Bobby to his friends. He's good people."

"Alright." Caleb took a deep breath and wiped at his mouth. "I got to move some guns."

"Depends on what you got." Dean breathed out. "Most creatures aren't going down with your regular weapon. You got to specialize the ammo."

"I was reading this thing on Palo Santo." Caleb reached over and pulled a box out of his drawer. "After I saw you smelting… I got an idea."

"Palo Santo bullets?" Dean stared at them. "That's smart."

* * *

TBC


	18. Chapter 17 - She's a little girl

AN1: Just tweaking the end chapters but I can keep this coming steadily. If you're enjoying, please drop a line. I see lots of folks are following, so thanks for that.

AN2: For those who wondered how this whole series came to be. I had a vision of a preshow story and while I was wholly satisfied with how I ended it (it did feel like a whole story). I always felt like I did the characters a disservice by not letting it get done. Found was more of a transitory deal. This story is much more epic. Loads going on. I think it's like 35 or so chapters long... so we're barely halfway!

* * *

Chapter 17 – She's a little girl

* * *

Emma sat and waited. Lisa was paying and they were going somewhere to eat. Emma stared at the other girls her age. They moved with confidence. She wasn't scared. She moved with sureness. She knew that. It was different. She knew that this person wasn't like the Winchesters and she definitely wasn't like the Amazons. But she had clothes to get by for a couple of weeks. She'd seen the credit card that John had taken from Sam's wallet. Lisa hadn't seemed to mind sighing as Mrs. Bain. She hadn't asked.

"This is fun." Lisa admitted as she slung the heavy bag over her shoulder. "I don't get to do this. I have a son your age… and boys don't like to shop."

"Oh yeah?" Emma stared around at the mall.

"His name is Ben. You'll meet him later. How are you feeling?"

"Queasy."

"Well, eating will solve some of that." Lisa led the way. "You are adorable." Lisa touched the girl's hair. "And you look just like him."

"Boo!" Erica jumped out of a rack of clothes.

"Erica!" Lisa smiled and took a breath. "I thought we were going to have to hunt you down.

"I was hunting you." Erica threw her arms around Lisa's waist.

"Were you? I guess you got us. Time to eat. Pizza… or salad… or what?"

Erica looked at Emma. "She likes burgers."

"I've never had pizza." Emma shot back.

"Then pizza it is." Lisa told them and got them a booth. While they were sipping soda and waiting for their food Lisa cleared her throat. "I know you're about talked out. Internal organs and shopping but… mind if I ask for the story?"

Erica was uncharacteristically quiet. Emma shrugged. "I ran away from home. I want to live with Dean."

"What happened with your mom?"

"She's a monster." Erica cut in.

"She's not a monster…" Emma shot Erica a dirty look. "She just… tradition is important to her and… I didn't want that... and I think she could tell that I wouldn't... fit in it."

"Was it a commune?" Lisa asked gently.

"My mom's family moves a lot. They… don't do things like most people. I had to leave." Emma whispered.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Lisa took a breath. "Dean… said he doesn't stay in one place much."

"I know." Emma nodded. "It would still be better than living with my mom and her family."

"Do they know you're gone?"

"They think I'm dead." Emma breathed out. "I didn't get to talk to Dean first."

"But he knows… about your mom and her family?"

"Yes. I tried to run before." Emma stretched the truth a bit. "I think he would have helped me then… if things had been different."

"How long ago?"

"A few years ago."

"You're what? 16?"

Emma only nodded slowly and sat back when their pizza came. She watched Lisa and Erica dig in. Then she took a slice to eat for herself. It was good. It settled well. She was sluggish as the meal went on. Sleepy. It felt good. Erica took over the conversation, explaining how she'd told Emma all about the books she read with her mom. Then the meal was over and it was time to go. The leftover pizza was packed into a box and went with them into the car. For John, Lisa said.

It was dark and the house was dim. Lisa led the way into the house. They set the new clothes to wash and went looking for the men. Adam and John were asleep in front of the TV. Lisa set the pizza box down in front of them. Within a few minutes, Adam was stirring and reaching for the box. John was just a couple of minutes after him. "Hey ladies."

Erica squeezed herself between the two of them as they helped themselves from the box. "I'm tired."

"Well, travel and shopping will do that to you." John nodded to Emma. "You get everything you need?"

"I think so." She nodded.

Lisa handed over the credit card and receipts. "We didn't get anything too scandalous."

"Shit." John looked up at her. "I didn't even think about it."

"It's all safe to wear to school… when she gets registered… wherever she gets registered. I showed her how to do laundry. She'll be ready to go by tomorrow."

"I imagine those school records are going to be hard to come by." John nodded. "I'll figure out something when we get settled."

"Mom!" The front door opened. "I'm hungry and there's nothing to eat at the house."

"Oh you." Lisa smacked her son as he moved in to help himself to some pizza. "There is plenty of food in our house."

"There's no pizza." Ben pointed out, then froze. "Hi."

"Hi." Emma nodded.

"Emma, this is Ben. He's my son. Ben, this is Emma. She's Dean's daughter."

"I thought…" Ben caught his mother's look. "Well, welcome."

"Thanks." She offered him a small smile.

"You're about the same age, I think." John nodded to them.

"16." Lisa nodded to John. "Well, Ben has school tomorrow. Good luck with the family reunion. When do you expect Claire and Dean to get back?"

"Hopefully, soon. My days of raising children were supposed to be over when this one went to college." John nudged Adam. Adam sent such a look of rage John's way that Lisa and Ben made a hasty escape. "Come on. I have to kind of make an impression. Dean's deep into that one."

"There's a lot of controversy surrounding that whole thing." Adam warned. "Dean wouldn't even tell me how deep that went."

"I guess I'm gonna…" Emma pointed to the stairs.

"We have to put your clothes in the dryer, first." Erica shook her head. "Then we can go to bed."

"Oh." Emma nodded.

"God, she looks just like him." Adam shook his head at her.

"She looks like her grandmother." John nodded.

Emma started crying. "I'm a warrior. I was born to strike fear into the hearts of men and I can't stop crying."

"Go on. Get to bed." John nodded. "We'll get your clothes in the dryer but you fold them in the morning. There enough room for the both of you in Erica's bed?"

"Yep." Erica nodded.

"Then upstairs, both of you." John shooed them. He stared after them. "Well, she remembers what she's supposed to be well enough."

"This thing says some things about them but not enough." Adam took his head and gestured with the tablet.

"I'll bet." John took it from him. "Well, this is easier than reading a bunch of books."

"It's like reading all the books."

Curious, John had Adam search for the MO on Amazon victims. Male, "satanic" carvings, severed hands and feet. John found several events clustered. "When was she born, you know?"

"No." Adam shook his head.

"Dean's not good about dating his journal." John rubbed his eyes and handed the tablet back.

"She safe?"

"I think so." John nodded. "She's desperate. If we don't take her in… she just might go back to them… just to let them kill her."

* * *

Adam got tucked into Claire's bed sometime after midnight. John checked on the girls. Erica was asleep and it looked like she had a knife tucked under her pillow. Emma was awake, curled into a ball in the middle of the floor. John crept in and sat near to her. He rubbed her back and hummed low. She was sniffling and crying but it subsided soon enough and John picked her up and put her to bed with Erica. Kept humming to make sure she was still asleep. John took a moment and examined her wrists. On one, he thought he saw a faded scar but he couldn't be sure. Maybe the mark Sam had talked about. Downstairs, he poured himself a drink and finished the laundry. Made note of her sizes and then moved on to the fridge. He made a grocery list that he handed to Sam when Sam walked in. "Where you been?"

"Research." Sam sighed. "Not that it does us any good if I don't know what Dean is fighting."

"When was she born? Emma?"

"Few years ago." Sam crossed his arms as he thought about it. "2012, I guess. Dean was… it was after Bobby died and… he'd been hitting the bars pretty frequently. We started working a case and then… Dean was the case."

"Jesus." John drew in a breath.

"She upstairs?"

"Cried herself to sleep. She's a little girl, Sam. Lost little girl. If she came back at the same time I did… she's been wandering the country, alone."

"You find a blade on her?"

"No."

"Hmf." Sam fixed himself something to eat. "I wish she wasn't in Erica's room."

"I think… Erica finally has a friend."

"Dad… You… she's a creature."

"She's a little girl… who is a creature." John sighed. "We'll make the best of it. If I see her getting squirrelly… I'll do it myself."

"If you can. Dean couldn't." Sam sighed. "He probably could now, to be honest… but…"

"But what?"

"She's exactly what a Knight of Hell would want. As long as Dean is Dean, we got nothing to worry about… if Dean goes off the deep end again, I don't think I could bring him back in this lifetime and he'd be down with a monster daughter to train for his army."

* * *

TBC


	19. Chapter 18 - We trusted the wrong person

Chapter 18 – Looks like we trusted the wrong person.

* * *

Claire stood by while Dr. Robert performed his examination. He proclaimed the pregnancy as viable and Lisa as healthy. "That's some healthy growth there."

"Is that good?"

"Yes, you're physically fit and prone to activities that keep you lithe, this much growth means it's all baby. I'm betting on a strapping young man if I were still a betting man." Dr. Robert checked his watch. "I should warn you that I worked on a John Winchester just the other day and he'd never heard of your friend… the one that says he's a distant relative."

"I thought discretion was purchased." Claire bit out.

"I do have to vet my accomplices from time to time. Comes down to it, I'll side with John." Dr. Robert replied with a shrug.

"Why?" Claire pressed.

"He got me out of town when they came for my license." Dr. Robert relayed. "So, I'm doing you ladies a favor. Get out of town and don't take that meathead downstairs with you."

Claire followed him out and watched him make small talk with Dean before taking Dean's money. When Claire could see that Dr. Robert's car had exited the driveway, she turned to Dean. "John's coming."

"Yeah?" Dean looked up at her. "How do you know?"

"He mentioned you to John a few days ago. We should go."

"Just me. I'm the one that has to go." Dean nodded. "I need to check on Castiel."

"Okay." Claire nodded. "Caleb!"

"What?" Caleb stumbled down the stairs. Claire had to catch him before he face planted.

"Dean's going on a trip. You're going to drink less this week." Claire told him. Lisa stood at the top of the stairs. "Lisa, let's go stock up on food. I guess we can get some beer but the men will have to get their own booze."

* * *

Dean found the room where he'd been sending money to keep it rented and undisturbed. He found an unconscious Angel. Just the way they'd left him. He hadn't moved an inch. "Cas?"

Nothing. No pulse but Angels didn't breathe. "Cas?"

He waited. He poured water down Castiel's throat and nothing. So he tipped him over and let the water run out. He sat and breathed. Then he asked for help. "Tessa? Ohn-ree?"

Henri appeared. "He's fine. He'll jump the gun. So, he's still asleep. He could use the rest."

"I'm fucking this up."

"Which is why we're waiting. What did the doctor say?"

"I don't know. She looked pleased." Dean shook his head. "I don't understand her. Other girls her age, they find out they got knocked up by the sketchy dude they met in a bar… they're scared. They're looking for a pill to escape, a procedure to deal with it."

"I thought you were enamored of her son."

"She's… happy about it. She wants this kid. I love Ben. I love the person he's going to be but… why isn't she scared?"

"You keep telling her that she's happy, that he's happy. I imagine that knowing brings a lot of comfort… for a normal human being. She's been told that things are in good shape. She trusts you… though only God knows why she does that. You're terrifying."

"How much longer?"

"Just a bit. Then Castiel will be right as rain."

"And if I go on another murder spree while I'm here?"

"Maybe you already did."

"I lose more of myself the more often it happens."

"You're stronger than you think."

"How am I going to take care of her when I'm a monster?"

"Guess you'll have to tap into the part of you that's not a monster."

Dean laughed. Dry and harsh. "Is there a part of me left that's not a monster?"

"I seem to remember a couple of tender tumbles you took recently. The field was downright romantic but that session in the laundry room was… needy and desperate." Henri reminded him. "Then you taught the boy to hit a homerun. It was… fatherly."

"I'm no one's father."

"Hmm… funny you should say that." Then he disappeared.

"Reapers are dicks, too." Dean slumped next to the bed.

* * *

Claire covered her hair and kept her head down while John was in the house. Lisa did the talking. "No, I had never met the guy before. He just said that I was in trouble of the really bad… not human kind and he brought me here to be safe."

"Here. Safe." John chuckled and had a look around. That's when he saw all the marks on the walls. "Caleb put these up?"

"No… the guy did. Don, I think was his name. He wasn't fun to talk to."

"You saw a threat?" John pressed.

"Well… there were… We hid in a church." Lisa answered honestly. "Three people with eyes… black… just… black. Claire said some… incantation, I think it's called. Two of them ran away and the third… she…"

"What happened?"

"Something… inside her… left."

"So, she knows what's she's doing? Cinderella in there?" John pointed where Claire was busy making bread and getting flour all over her face.

"I guess so. They said the… demons want my baby and I've got to stay here until… I don't know."

"You just came with them?"

"They've saved my life a few times already. My baby's, too." Lisa touched her belly and winced. "Oh. That was a kick."

John laid his hand on her belly and waited for the kick. "Bet that's a boy."

"It is." Lisa nodded.

"Your baby." John took his hand back and sighed. "So… he brought you here. Lied about Jefferson sending you here. This Caleb kid has been in the stew since his lady died."

"Did you know her? His… fiancée?"

"No. Jefferson met him… a bit too late as I understand it." John looked around some more. "These are good. Some of these… I've never seen before."

John stormed into the kitchen where Claire was completely obscured from view. "This… Don, fellow. He's your partner?"

"I've worked with him… maybe twice before." Claire shrugged. "I don't usually do these long gigs. I've got kids, which is why he brought me. I know pregnant women. He's got no aptitude for people so I'm doing the heavy lifting here."

"What's he look like?"

"A Calvin Klein model that got dressed at the Salvation Army." Claire shrugged.

"I don't know anyone looks like that." John glanced back at the figure snoring on the couch. "What time does princess wake up?"

"Usually around three or four. He's up all night drinking and guarding the porch. Hits the hay just after dawn. Don's got him studying or training when he's awake. Trying to get him to stop drinking when he cleans his guns."

John sighed deeply and ran a hand over his face, scratched at his scruff for a bit. "I knew this Caleb kid was a mess."

"He's got potential." Claire set the bread aside to rise.

"It is hot as hell, why are you baking?"

"Pregnant women love bread."

"Yeah, do they?"

"You ever been around pregnant women?"

"Just the one and just the twice." John ran a hand over his face. "Any clue why this guy is telling people he's with me?"

"I don't know." Claire crossed her arms. "Seemed like he respected you… knew your name could open some doors… like with Dr. Robert. We needed him."

"Okay. Okay. I find this guy… we're going to do a dance." John sighed and pointed to the couch. "I'm headed to town. I'll be back for him."

* * *

Dean thought about going to a crossroads to summon Crowley but he didn't dare. He thought about writing himself a letter but didn't dare. He did put some money in an envelope and mailed it to Sam at Stanford, set for mid-semester in a few years. He remembered Sam thanking him late one night after Jess died. He never remembered sending that money. He always thought his father had done it but didn't know how or when.

Dean almost went out to pick up a woman but he didn't trust himself. He ended up back in the room with Castiel's still body and all his thoughts. He wanted to write Charlie and tell her to run when she met two brothers. He wanted to visit Kevin and tell him not to take himself so seriously. He wanted to warn Pastor Jim and Caleb. He wanted to visit Adam and watch him be normal.

Dean sat in a corner of the room and drank until he couldn't see.

* * *

Claire was caught off guard when John returned. She'd just gotten out of the shower and didn't have time to hide her hair or put a shirt over her camisole. She kept her face turned away as much as possible. John dropped a sketch. "No one has seen this guy ever."

"I'm sure he's got a record." Claire wrung her hair out and grabbed a shirt off the couch. It was Caleb's and smelt like his sweat.

"First time to use the alias Don Winchester. Can't find it anywhere."

"Look, John." Claire cleared her throat. "He tells me that this girl is important, the kid is important. Then we got a doctor trying to force an abortion on her, then six demons attack a coffee shop. Three more attack a shopping center. I believe him. She's in danger. I'm here to help."

Claire knew the instant that John saw her. She must have stepped into the light and he could see her, all of her. The look in his eyes, she could fall into it. Except she could smell Caleb on the shirt she'd thrown on. Could hear him snoring in the next room. In this time, they were closer in age than they had ever been. She was just shy of 40 and he was a few years younger than when they met in that forest… 43 or 44.

"I'm not doubting that, but you gotta know how irked I am by having my name thrown around by someone with no right to do so."

"Who are you, anyway?" Claire tried to shake the look he was giving her. "Some hotshot hunter who thinks he knows everything?"

"How long you been hunting, darlin'?" John leaned in the doorway.

"Long enough."

"How old are you? 30?" He was playing with her, she could tell by the curl of his lips.

She barked out a laugh and blushed despite herself. "You. You're dangerous. Stop."

"Him? You're into him? He's a hundred." Caleb sucked in a deep breath then moved to the sink to drink straight from the faucet.

"Caleb Bailey. This is John Winchester. He's been waiting all day to talk to you."

"About what?"

"Winchester."

"Yeah, said he was some distant relative of yours." Caleb nodded and when he turned his eyes fell on Claire. "You're taking my clothes now?"

"Borrowing it." Claire bit out.

"It's warm out. You don't need that." John grinned at her.

"You're no gentleman, John Winchester." Claire adjusted the shirt across her shoulders. "I'm going outside. Joining the girl for some yoga."

"She's… exciting." John looked to Caleb.

"Yeah. An old hot lady here to take over my house with a young pregnant one."

"What's this… distant relation of mine like?"

"He's a dick. He drinks my booze and tries to tell me how to be a better hunter, asked or not."

"Hunter, huh."

"Tall, blonde, green eyes. Almost pretty for a man. Almost thought they were family for a bit, but they fight like an old married couple. Could be for all I know." Caleb reached for his flask. His head tilted. John followed his gaze to the pair of women on the porch bending this way and that. Claire had dropped the shirt, stretching in a thin tank. "How he keeps his hands to himself with those two in tow, I've got no idea."

"How are you handling it? This female invasion."

"I drink myself into a stupor. That generally solves that… And I sleep during the day, they sleep at night, usually. Don… keeps all kinds of hours. Sometimes… I don't think he sleeps for days." Caleb ran a hand through his hair and was unpleased when some hair came with it. Growling, he poured himself a glass of milk and downed that while John Winchester ogled the blonde outside. "You got kids?"

"Two. I got one in school and the other one is watching out for him while I deal with this Don character. When did he say he was coming back?"

"He didn't but he's got to. I can't have them here much longer."

"No?"

"Jefferson tell you about my girl? The one who died?"

"A bit."

"Well, she was pregnant. I don't do well with pregnant women."

"Got it." John switched his gaze to the other girl. "What's special about her?"

"Nothing that I can tell. She's rather peaceful for someone who is being hunted by demons."

"She trusts her protectors. Implicitly. Pretty rare. People don't trust like that. They good people?"

Caleb thought long and hard about that while he drank his milk. "They imposed and they don't have an exit date… but they mostly keep to themselves, clean up after themselves. Don's taught me a few things I didn't know. Some safety measures. Bugs me to stop drinking while he drinks a liquor store each night."

"How old you say he was?"

"A hard 35. Maybe as old as 40."

"Hmmm." John sighed and took a long look out the window. "She's in shape. Hunts at her age. They aren't settled by a long shot. Demons. Hmmph. Fuckin' demons."

"Real ones?"

"They possess people. You need a good incantation to chase them off."

"They gave me one. A book, actually." Caleb moved over to one of the stacks of books.

John took the book and looked it over. "This is a good one. Study this. You'll be fine."

"What about them?"

"I need more information. Come on. Walk me through…"

Claire walked in, shrugging into the flannel, when John came downstairs with Caleb in tow. "I'm headed to town, fellas. Spaghetti sauce out there is dying for a steak."

"Spaghetti sauce?" Caleb frowned.

"Because she's Prego." John chuckled and her surprised face. "I love a good pun."

"I figured her more for the oats and carrots type." Caleb shook his head.

"Pregnant women eat things that make your mouth water… and sometimes make your hair curl." John shook his head. "Come on. I'll give you a ride."

"No… I uh…" Claire shook her head. "I got a ride out there."

"A hot ride. There's an APB out on it."

"Fuck." Claire shook her head. "Should have ditched the plates." She looked up at him. "Fine."

"Where's the grocery store?" John asked Caleb.

"We do not have time to shop for beef and come home and cook it. I called in an order." Claire shook her head. "Preggo out there is fiending. We have exactly 20 minutes to get it back here before she jumps the fence to get at those cows over there."

Caleb was looking at Claire with a bit of anger. Claire gave it right back. He stepped back involuntarily. "Sorry."

"Dinner's on me." Claire stormed out the door, John on her heels.

"Mind telling me where I'm driving?"

"Little shack about 5 minutes that way." Claire pointed. "You can't miss it."

John drove and pulled off at a shack that didn't look like it had electricity, forget a phone. "This place safe?"

"Once you smell it, you'll know it's the real deal." Claire threw open the door and slammed it shut. A second later, John was on her heels again.

"Watch the door, huh. I work hard to keep her beautiful."

"I'm sure you do." Claire threw open the door and smiled at the couple at the counter. "Order for Claire."

"5 minutes." The man stated without moving.

Claire laid the bills on the counter top. The woman took them and returned with change from the back room. John held up a wall while they waited. "You don't like me, do you?"

"No. I don't." Claire didn't even bother to look at him.

"Why not?"

Claire didn't turn. She stared at the faded menu on the countertop. "You think you run the world. All hail the mighty John Winchester and his swinging cod."

"How do you know it's swinging?"

She could practically hear his grin. "I've heard about you. Captain Kirk of hunters is what they say. I'm not a damsel in distress, Winchester."

"What are people saying about me?"

"Like you care. You swoop in, save the day. Badass John Winchester leaving his calling card all over the country and outside if what I heard about chupacabras is true. Doesn't take shit from anyone. Gets in and gets it done and sometimes, women are extra grateful."

"Maybe you'd feel different if I saved your life."

"Doubtful. I've known your kind before. This is scorched earth."

"Is it?"

Claire turned to look at him as their dinner was being bagged. "Falling under your thrall is the last thing I need."

"Doesn't have to be forever, sweetheart."

"I don't like cocky men. They make me ill." She took the bag and pushed past him to the car.

"Darlin', you just make me want to win."

"Please." She scoffed and climbed into the Impala.

* * *

After dinner, Claire showed Lisa how to clean a gun. John hovered. Claire glared at him. "I know what I'm doing."

"I'm sure you do." John continued to lean and drink and hover. After a long moment of watching, he cleared his throat. "How long did you serve?"

"Nearly four years. Spent time in Eastern Europe."

"What's that like?" Caleb asked. "I got people from those parts."

"It's a mess… just like now."

"Why'd you leave?" John prompted.

"I had a kid. He's gone now." Claire shut the subject.

"What about the other one?" He cleared his throat. "Earlier you said "kids" plural."

"With my ex. He's watching her while I'm here."

"What's he do?"

"Mostly break my heart." Claire picked up the reassembled gun and put it in the back of her pants. Lisa groaned at her hands. Clair took her to the sink and showed her how to use the brick soap to get the gun oil off her hands. "Go on and get some sleep."

"Think we could do fruit for breakfast?"

"You say that now but when I start making pancakes, you're going to want some."

"Probably." Lisa giggled and scooted around John to get at the stairs.

"You're scaring her. We brought her here to be safe and so she could relax." Claire dried her hands on a towel.

"What do demons want with a yoga instructor?" John pressed. "Yeah, Dr. Robert filled me in."

"We overpaid him." Claire glared and snatched the bottle out of Caleb's hand for a long drink.

"You paid him." John grinned to his chest. "Dr. Robert told me that you told him that I was footing the bill."

"Well, I guess we all trusted the wrong person." Claire sighed.

"You're telling me… I paid him."

Claire laughed long and deep at that. She took a pull on the bottle and slipped it back into Caleb's hands. She stepped outside for some air. Slipped out of the flannel and let the cooling night air take the heat off her back. Just as the heat had left her face, John stepped out on the porch with a bottle. "That kid smokes like a chimney."

"Yeah." She nodded.

"I beat myself up for a long time after my wife died. The way I raised my kids, the way my libido got the best of me…. Hunting things in the dark instead of… making sure my boys were okay."

"I never meant to leave her so long." Claire took the bottle when it was offered. "I'm just here to keep her safe." She gestured upstairs. She felt the question in his gaze rather than saw it. So she improvised. "Maybe Don is a liar but he saved my life… in more ways than one."

"He get you into the life?" John took the bottle back.

"You could say that. We got taken by same creature. Helped each other get out of it. I met my daughter's father through him."

"How'd he die?"

"Demon. Demons everywhere, I guess." She shrugged. "Took my son, his father. My daughter's father… My ex is like to get his life ended because of a demon. I'm just trying to keep her alive."

"It's all you can do. Keep them alive until they can stay alive on their own… No matter how eager they are to rush into their death."

"Sounds like you've got a teenager." Claire took the bottle when he passed it back.

"Two." He sighed. "Oldest one is just shy of 20 and the other is 15 going on 30."

"Mine's nine."

"And your son?"

"Five when he died… He would be… almost 18. Drunk driver… or… at least… that's what I was made to believe. Demon in the driver's seat." Claire shook her head. "I've dealt with that demon. Me and my girl's father. Probably put that target on his back myself."

"Still hunting the demon who killed my wife."

"You'll find it. If anything I hear about you is true… you'll find it."

"Darlin', you're making me blush."

"You are absolutely shameless."

"I'm told." He tipped the bottle back into his mouth. "Would it be so bad? Take a roll with me. Have a little fun."

"Maybe I don't want you to get addicted."

John laughed and handed her the bottle. "See, I knew you were fun."

"My younger days?" Claire took a deep swallow. "I could have you chasing me for months and keep you in bed a week and you'd never know how much time passed."

"You a nymph?"

"Hell if I know…" Claire stood and ran the lore through her head. "Though it would explain my libido… and Don's."

"How's that?"

"I've known him a long time and well… he can never get enough… he'll take it wherever. I'm a little more discerning."

"So, not going to happen?"

"You couldn't handle me." Claire gave him his bottle back.

"Your friend got on my bad side. I don't like him walking the world without me having at least laid eyes on him… especially if he's telling people we're kin. I got no family in the world but my boys."

"Would it be bad if he were related to you?"

John took a pull on the bottle. "I don't know. My old man took off when I was a kid… for all I know… I do have kin out there. Him and some family he started after he figured we weren't enough for him. I don't know."

"If he left, that wasn't your fault."

"I did my share of screwing up when my… wife was around. I almost turned tail a couple of times."

"And why didn't you?"

"I didn't want to be him."

"Good. Good on you." She stared at him. "Maybe he is your kin. Don. Maybe he's not. Maybe none of that matters. From what I've seen… he's a good person. He does good. Now, he's an asshole but all my hunting friends are assholes."

"Yeah." John sighed and took another drink.

"You believe in Angels?"

"No." John shook his head.

"You should start." Claire tilted her head at him. "Don's got a shitty life but he's got a force watching over him… keeping him in the world so he can do battle with the dark things."

"And you?"

"I'm still waiting for my calling."

"You ain't found it yet?"

"Might have. I'm a mother and that was really important to me. I got a day job that I'm probably fired from by now. I got my girl. My house. She's all the family I have."

"You're not… really raising her to hunt, are you?"

"She's a weird kid… If I didn't… she'd have nothing to look forward to. Other kids don't like her. Just don't. I sometimes think that if we played with barbies instead of throwing stars… she might… fit in but… she knows what she likes. She knows who she is… She's nine."

"What's that look?"

"I heard she took off on the sitter when I didn't come home. She did it… without me as her safety net. She got to our safe place to wait for instructions. I trained her but I didn't think she'd ever need it."

"Why don't you go home, then?" John blinked at her.

"What I'm doing here… It's important. More important than going home at night to hug my daughter. I got instructions to her. We use a safety language that only she and I know. She went back with my ex. He's taking care of her and she's following orders… just like I trained her. I'm worried that something will come to the house and kill my ex and my daughter will have to really fight."

"You think she's not strong enough?"

"I think she's plenty strong." Claire shook her head. "I'm afraid that when the last of her innocence is gone… I won't be there for her to turn to."

"My boy was that age when he first killed… it was a monster but…" John sighed. "I got normal. I got to go to school and to go to dances before I signed up for war. That kid… he comes to me… barely 16 years old… says… "I'm in this, Dad." I got no clue what he's talking about. I'm thinking he's in trouble again. Prom's coming up, I'm praying he hadn't knocked up the town sweetheart. "I'm done with school. I just get in trouble anyway. I can take the GED later. I want to hunt.""

"Oh, Jesus." Claire's heart broke for Dean.

"I tell him I want him to finish the year. We'd talk about it later." John sniffed. "He's a good boy. Follows orders. Tended to fall for the girls looking for the bad boys. Rich girls that want to fix a fellow. Then he changed his tune all of a sudden. Only picked up girls in bars or who were in the same neighborhood we were in. I know he got his heart stomped on somewhere. It's barely been three years but he's… so different. I thought he was going to run away on me once. I just… prayed that he'd keep looking after his brother. He did."

"What happened?"

"He finished the year and filed an application for the GED without telling me. Had it mailed to a friend's house. Next time we stopped in. He had already arranged to take the test. I got into a fight with my buddy and I stopped leaving my boys there." John tilted the bottle back again, emptied it. He stood up and hopped off the porch to retrieve another bottle from his trunk. He stared around them, into the dark. "He's a good boy. I pull him out of bars too much. Glad he hasn't found any drugs to his liking. Takes care of his brother but those days are getting shorter."

"I'm sure he just… wants to please you." Claire stared up at him.

"I don't want this life for my boys."

"I know. Nobody wants it. It just is what it is."

John drank deeply from the second bottle. She took it away from him. "Why you so rude to this Bailey kid?"

Claire studied the bottle with a grin. "Reminds me too much of my girl's father. Spends too many nights in the bottle and too many days sleeping it off." She took a pull and held onto the bottle. "I think the coast is clear and I'm taking that girl home soon. Do me a favor? Come by and check on Caleb for me? He's… making great progress in his studies but I think… someone like you could help him."

"Oh yeah?"

"And he can help you."

"How's that?" John asked.

Claire stared at Caleb through the window pacing with a book. She pulled a set of keys from her pocket. "Let me show you. He's got an arsenal in the barn and I don't like it when he drinks and does inventory."

* * *

TBC


	20. Chapter 19 - Just ask my children

Chapter 19 – Just ask my children.

* * *

Emma sat in the room with her grandfather and stared hard at her feet. He nudged her. "This is temporary but it'll get you a history that you can build on. You have the story?"

"Yes, sir."

"You can call me Grandpa if you want to."

"I don't know what I want." She shook her head. "Where is he?"

"Hopefully safe." John laid a hand on her back. "He'll find a way to get word to us if he needs to.

They rose when it was time. Emma sat quietly and looked around the room. John did all the talking. "My granddaughter… her parents are in the middle of a dispute. Court said she could pick. She's picked her father and he's… staying here. But he's wrapped up in court there."

"I see." The registrar looked her over. "Tell me, where do you see yourself in five years?"

"Working with my dad." Emma offered a smile. "He…"

"He works free-lance. Moves quite a bit. PI license and pest control certified." John offered.

"You want to work in pest control, Emma?" The registrar frowned.

"It's good work. It helps people."

"Well, it's good to know what you want… and that you can change your mind before you graduate."

"God help us, I hope she does." John laughed.

"What sort of background…?" The registrar's eyes flicked from John to Emma and back again.

Emma looked to John, who nodded. "My mom is in a cult. I didn't even know I had a dad until a few years ago. I didn't know there was… anything else. I don't want that."

"I see."

"Pop-pop is showing me the ropes and we're staying with friends until Dad gets back and Dad's… friend is teaching me about… female stuff. It's… already better." Emma rushed to speak the way Erica sometimes did when she was excited. "I can do my own laundry. I learned to how make macaroni and cheese and I already do that better than my uncles. I'm cleaning the house because none of the men do it right. I'm showing them how it's really done."

"Sounds like you are settling in rather well. We'll have you take some tests and we'll figure out best where you belong in your classes."

* * *

Emma took her tray and sat with her grandfather on the end of a long table. Most of the tests were done. Some of the boys were looking at her. A lot of the girls were looking at her. John cleared his throat. "Your dad used to cope with the first day by making jokes, being a clown and daring anyone to fight with him. I know school is different for girls. I don't know how different. Just that it is. I don't know what kind of girl you are, yet."

"I don't know what kind of girl I am, yet." Emma looked at him. "I was going to kill him. I was."

"I figured."

"They'll kill me if they know I'm alive."

"You're probably right." John sipped his milk. "I'm holding out hope that my one grandchild is not a coldblooded killer. And you haven't killed any of us in our sleep yet. So far… all I see is a scared little girl who is waiting for her dad to come home."

"I don't… He might kill me."

"He might. He might not. I do know that Dean… is not the same person you met before. He's different… but you're different, too."

"Emma!" Ben called out and jogged over with his tray. "You start today?"

"Tomorrow. After they finish grading my tests." Emma nodded.

"Cool. Let me know what your schedule is. I'll show you around."

"Thanks, kid." John nodded.

"See you later, Mr. Winchester." Ben bounded away to eat lunch with his friends.

"See, you got a friend already."

Emma shrugged and finished her lunch. She took another test. Then she got a list of shots she had to get. John nudged her and nodded that he had it under control. Then they were off to an Army Surplus. John grabbed a canvas bag and then a whole lot of other things that she noted were her size. "What's all this?"

"We start training tonight. I don't anything about raising girls or Amazons or anything else going on… but I know how to train a hunter. We don't need Erica getting lazy on us, either."

Back at the house, she got a lesson in packing. She did her go-bag five times in a row. Then she got to try some hand to hand with John. He was good. Really good. And he'd been recently dead.

* * *

John watched Ben and Emma walk down the street after school. Adam joined him after a moment. "That's weird."

"No, it's not. He's the only person her age that she's met."

"I still think it's weird."

Then Erica came running up behind them. Ben whipped her up and onto his shoulders, laughing while she squealed. The three of them walked into the house. Erica was set on her feet and raced upstairs to put her books away. Ben was talking. "Mrs. Hermann always assigns three pages of homework and it's always the odds. The evens have answers in the back of the book."

"She looks like she's wearing a wig."

"It is a wig that used to be a drowned cat. I think."

Emma laughed and the two went to the kitchen to get started on homework. Adam appointed himself chaperone and joined them on pretense of needing a peanut butter sandwich. He made them some while they worked on geometry. "You two are in the same class?"

"Yeah but I'm a little behind." Emma met his eyes.

"Cool, you'll catch up. Smart is in the genes."

"Is it, now?" John asked from the hallway.

"Sam went to Stanford and I went to U-dub." Adam grinned. "I mean Dean is smart too but he's… you know… Dean."

"I know." John sighed. "He's smart like a fox."

"Who?" Sam asked when he walked in the door with a stack of books.

"Your brother."

"Right. Mr. Card Sharp." Sam sighed and stole a sandwich on his way to his makeshift office.

"See, probably counts cards." Adam pointed with the butter knife.

"He does." John nodded. "I do, too."

"See, a ton of brains in the bloodline." Adam waved the knife around. "Ben, are you one of us gifted?"

"I guess." Ben shrugged. "I do, okay."

"He's got to. Baseball. How's that coming?" John pointed out.

"One more game in the season but I have to rest my arm so they kicked me out of practice today." Ben glanced at his watch. "I said I'd catch Emma up before Mom gets back from her appointment."

"Pippi! Tumbling!" John called back. A few minutes later, Erica was downstairs and ready to go for a tumble in the grass.

They got through algebra and some chemistry before Lisa showed up. She was pale and frantic. She slipped into the house and looked for Sam. "Where is Claire? And Dean?"

"Utah, I think." Sam scratched his ear.

"I need to speak to Dean." Lisa shifted uncomfortably.

"He's on radio silence just now. He needs to focus."

"On what?"

"Making sure Lydia doesn't get custody back." Sam held his hands up. The lie was good but he hated using it.

"Get word to him, please. I need to speak with him. Claire is not answering her phone and I need to talk to her as well." Lisa breathed in deep. "Ben texted me that he'd be here."

"Studying in the kitchen with Emma."

"Okay." She nodded. She took a breath and wiped at her eyes before journeying to the back of the house. "Ben, you almost ready?"

"Ten minutes?" Ben asked. "We're almost done."

"Okay." Lisa nodded. She gave him a smile, waved at Emma and wandered into the backyard to find John helping Erica with back-tucks. "Wow. She's blowing me away with that stuff."

"I'm not so good at it but my boys were. This one's a natural. Claire told me once she was a tumbler in school. Helped when she enlisted, she said."

"I'm bendy. I don't flip too well."

"It's all about trusting your balance." John shrugged. "Want to try?"

"Probably shouldn't right now."

"Yoga right?" John nodded. "I, uh… this was years ago before I knew what yoga was… I saw a girl, halfway through pregnancy, standing on her head. Blew my mind. It was all slow movement and holding poses, though. Do it quick enough, she'd've been a tumbler like this one."

"That's neat. I was like that, though. I did the difficult poses through my seventh month with Ben."

"I'm a sprinter, not a distance runner." John shook his head.

"Pop-pop, what are we having for dinner?" Erica asked after she'd flipped her way over.

"Sam went to the store. We'll see what he bought."

"You look sad, Lisa." Erica tackled her in a hug.

"I'm okay, sweetie. How about we go inside and start dinner and Pop-pop will finish it when I leave with Ben."

"Got it."

Lisa whipped up a salad while lasagna was baking. John put the breadsticks in the oven when directed. He leaned on the counter. "You're welcome to stay for dinner… since you made it and all."

"We should go." Lisa shook her head.

"Please." Erica begged. "Pop-pop and Sam and Adam are so boring and Emma is too shy and I miss Ben."

"I guess it has been awhile." Lisa turned to look at Ben and Emma wrapping up chemistry homework.

Sam set the table and Adam got everyone drinks. Ben found extra chairs and crammed them around the table. They dug in the second they were served. John, Sam and Adam groaned as they ate. Lisa smiled at Emma. "Well, I guess that's a roaring success."

"You're an awesome cook, Mom." Ben told her.

"Thanks, sweetie."

"Have we met before?" John asked her, suddenly.

"I don't think so."

"You seem really familiar all of a sudden."

"I'm sure you say that to all the girls." Lisa countered. Sam choked on his water. "I'm very certain that charm runs in the family."

"I'm told it does." John nodded.

"Dad." Sam warned and rolled his eyes.

"Where's Ben's father?" John moved on without missing a beat.

"Dad." Sam bit out.

"No, it's okay." Ben cut in. "I was… not planned. My dad isn't really a man. He never wanted to be in the picture."

"That's a strong boy you got there." John nodded to her and sipped his beer.

"I've always thought so." Lisa smiled at her son who made a disgusted face at her.

"He reminds me a bit of Dean at that age." John mused.

"Dean was not that nice a kid when he was Ben's age." Sam snorted. John laughed. Sam pouted. "He put nair in my shampoo."

"Is that why you insist on never cutting your hair? To get back at him for that prank?" John pointed out.

"No."

"What was Dean like when he was 15?" Adam pressed.

John stuck the end of a breadstick in his mouth and leaned back while he chewed. "He thought he was tough shit. Carried a knife, made out with girls in broom closets, snuck out to clubs."

"Stole cars." Sam rolled his eyes.

"No, he didn't… that one time but he gave it back."

"Dean was the hellion, I gather." Lisa sipped her water.

"I was at that age." John nodded to his empty plate.

"You?" Sam laughed. "I figured you were straight laced and doing good."

"I worked. A lot. I played. Hard." John shook his head. "My dad had a body shop on the side of the house. I put in hours until I went to Vietnam."

"Your dad?"

"Stepdad." John corrected himself. "Mom remarried after Dad left… died, I guess." John nodded to himself. "I never told you boys about him?"

"No." Sam shook his head. "I didn't know you had a stepdad at all. I guess I should have figured. What happened to them?"

"Car wreck when I got back." John sipped his beer. "On the way home from a tow. Mom died… Jerry left town after I married Mary. Nearly all his business was gone and I suspect most of the customers were more loyal to Mom than Jerry. I never heard from him after that."

"That's awful." Lisa shook her head.

"My daddy's in heaven, too." Erica offered.

"I know, Pippi." John gave her a smile. "Pippi's got no dad, she's more than fine. My boys… Well, Sam and Dean had just a dad. I feel they've suffered without a mother. Adam… did just fine without his dad messing up his life."

"Is that your idea of an apology?" Lisa sipped her water but eyed John's beer.

"I guess I was a bit rude. I do apologize." John sighed. "Formally. I'm sorry."

"I've got work to do." Sam excused himself from the table, rolling his eyes as he went.

"Dinner was very good, Lisa." Emma offered.

"Thank you." Lisa smiled.

"Why don't you kids go play a game?" John jerked his head to the side. Erica took Ben by the hand and Emma followed behind them to get at the video games.

Lisa fixed John with a look. He nodded to himself. "I deserve that. I… um… sometimes forget how untraditional my life has become."

Adam snorted and left the table. Lisa gestured. "Your… indiscretion?"

"Yes."

"I don't lie to my son. I did some questionable things when I was young… I still do questionable things but he always comes first."

"I know."

"Where is Dean?" She took a sip of water when her question came out a little more desperate than she thought it'd be in her head.

"Working on getting back here as fast as he can."

"Really."

"Really."

"You've spoken to him?"

"No… but I know my son."

"I need to speak to him." Lisa pushed her fork around her plate, chasing a slice of carrot.

"I… can't make that happen."

"It's… really important."

"What's it been since he's been gone?" John took a breath. "Nearly two months?"

"Seven weeks."

"Speaking in weeks. That's mother-talk for pregnant." John sipped his beer. "Two grandchildren in one month. How did I get so lucky?"

"It's mine to tell him."

"I know."

Lisa wiped a tear off her face as soon as it formed. "I'm nearly too old to do it again. Doctor said that maybe I shouldn't."

"He won't be able to be around. He'll move around a lot. He'll check in obsessively. He'll try until it hurts him too badly and then he'll make you hate him so he has an excuse to stay away."

"Is that his MO?"

"It's mine. Just ask my children. He tends to take after me in the… bad ways." John gathered the plates for the dishwasher. After a bit, he felt Erica wrap her arms around his waist. "What's wrong, Pippi?"

"Ben likes Emma better than me."

"I'm sure that's not true." John touched her head.

Erica drifted over to Lisa and leaned on her. "She's new. He's just making a new friend."

"Why are you sad?"

"Just thinking about important things." Lisa stroked her hair. "Don't worry about Emma. She's not his type."

"My mom wrote me a letter." Erica whispered. "She said that whatever you want to do, she supports you. She said it was important that I tell you she said that she supports your decision."

"How would she know what I'm dealing with?"

"I suspect that it wouldn't matter." John cleared his throat. "Claire is… infuriatingly supportive."

"Oh?" Lisa looked at John's face.

"Even when she shouldn't be, sometimes." John moved over to pour himself a glass of whiskey. "Get to your bath, Erica." She gave him a nasty look and slowly moved toward the stairs. "Fuckin' kid."

"Who broke it off?" Lisa asked softly. "You or Claire?"

"Officially… she ended it, but I led her there." John looked down to his feet. "I didn't want to give her what she wanted but I didn't want her to have it with anyone else either."

"That's not fair."

"I know it. She knew it and she let it go on too long. Almost too long."

"Why almost?"

"Well, she made Erica with the very next fellow." John poured himself another slug. "He and I were friends but she started to come between us a bit. I was still holding on. Once… once I was convinced Erica wasn't mine… I let go."

"You thought there was a chance?" Lisa shook her head.

"I thought maybe… and I'd made myself clear that I was done with kids. I wondered. Until that pregnancy lasted longer than it could have been possible and I got this picture." John reached for a wallet that wasn't there. "I don't got it on me but we had a mutual pastor friend that slipped it to me one night. Only one of the three of us, eyes like that."

"Do you… love her?"

John knocked his glass back. "I may never love anyone like I loved my wife, Dean's mother." He sniffed and took a seat again. "Nightmares I was having while Claire was with me… I cared… deeply for her. I was… blown away by her. Her beauty, her kindness, her stubbornness, her… affection for me."

"You pushed her away."

"I didn't want to be the reason she got hurt… or died." John cleared his throat. "I'm afraid I might have passed that part of me to my boys. They break their own hearts with every heart they break." He gestured around the house. "I'm not cut out for this anymore. Claire would tolerate me here so long as I kept it safe for her girl. Trouble finds me and I could never do that to her… especially now."

"You know Dean…" Lisa brought it up again.

"He'll be… scared." John nodded. "He's a… well, I'd like to think I raised a stand-up man and he'll try but he is my son and it wouldn't be the first time he ruined a good thing by being scared or… just too damned honest."

"Dad." Sam appeared in the kitchen. "You didn't check the mail, today?"

"I guess not." John shook his head. Then he saw the envelope Sam held. Dean's handwriting. John took it and ripped it open, pacing the kitchen as he read it. Then his eyes shot to the living room where Ben and Emma were getting a little too cozy. "Lisa… I think it's time for you to go."

* * *

TBC


	21. Chapter 20 - He's your son

Chapter 20 – He's your son.

* * *

Dean returned to Caleb's as the Impala roared down the road in the other direction. Perfect timing. He found Lisa walking around the back yard and Claire slipping out of the barn, her hair mussed. Dean watched her. Claire stepped up the porch and stared at Lisa. "You're the reason John thinks Caleb has a type."

"What?" Lisa frowned.

"Nothing. Forget it. You just… have the same coloring as the woman he was in love with. Eyes are different but… Jesus." Claire raked her hands through her hair. "I've got to get out of Lincoln."

"It's almost over." Dean promised and laid a hand on Lisa's belly when she paused near them. "This is safe."

"So, I'm going home?" Lisa looked from person to person. They just nodded. "Your dad. Super scary by the way."

"That's Dad." Dean nodded and entered the house to find Caleb hammered and cleaning his guns. Dean growled and hauled the man up and tossed him in the shower. "Stop drinking and cleaning your guns. You can't handle your alcohol."

"Fuck you! And fuck that other Winchester, too!"

"He's a fucker. That Winchester is." Dean leaned in. "John Winchester is a judgmental piece of shit on his best day. You are going to be fine."

"You don't know that."

"I do." Dean let him go. "She's in your future, man."

"Who?"

"Little girl… with your eyes. Cute as a button and freaky as all get out." Dean shut the water off. "If you shoot your own head off, you'll never make her. Go out. Get laid. Get some fucking sleep, man."

"I don't know how to live without her."

"Guess what, man? You have been living without her." Dean knelt to see Caleb's face under his wet hair. "It's been years, man, and the more of it you spend in a drunken haze, the less of her that you'll remember. Get a routine down. Measure your life in moments of good. I'm not talking about church or community service. I'm talking about killing monsters. Learning and training. You can be good at this… saving people, hunting monsters."

"John Winchester fought in a fucking war. Face in the mud, guns blasting… bullets whizzing by his head. I'm not a soldier."

"Neither was he. He was a dude that wanted to marry a girl. Then he went to war. Then he got badass. Then he married the girl. Then she died. Everyone dies. You don't give up before that happens." Dean smacked him in the head. "You always keep fighting. Always."

"Get your girls out of my house."

"Gladly." Dean stood and left him to himself. He started gathering their gear. Claire watched him for a minute then stared at the bathroom door. Caleb didn't come out. Dean touched her arm. "He'll be okay. You know he will."

"I'm gonna get the backseat situated." Claire grabbed a few pillows and a blanket and vanished out the door.

Lisa watched them for a few minutes then began gathering their things. She jogged upstairs while Dean was packing weapons. Claire took a walk around the house to make sure they got everything. She left a pile of books on the table for Caleb to read that night. She got Lisa in the car and Dean started driving.

Dean waited for it but Claire wouldn't look at him. Then Lisa slipped a flannel shirt across the top of the seat. Claire took it and inhaled it. She cried into it. Claire curled up around the shirt and went to sleep. Lisa stuck her feet between the front seat bucket seats and tried to relax. She started a bit when Dean rested his hand on her feet but relaxed when he squeezed her toes and dug his fingers into the ball of her foot.

"You're very kind, Dean."

"You're the only person to say that."

"I think more people would say it if you let them."

"You didn't talk nearly this much when we had our fun in your loft."

"I wasn't interested in talking then."

"Why are you so keen to know all about me, now?"

"I have a vested interest now."

"All I do is cause you pain."

"No, I know me. There's more than pain there." Lisa sighed and stretched her foot into his hand. "I know that my life can be what is considered… suck. I live in a one-room apartment that I call a loft because it makes me feel better. I didn't go to college because I thought I was in love with a yogi. I learned everything from him and he left me for someone that was barely 18. Someone he could teach. So, my livelihood is a daily reminder of him. I should go back to school. I'm thinking business classes but now… I'll have to put them off… because I'm going to have a baby and he's going to wear me out and then… probably, he'll build me up."

"How do…"

"My dad died recently and I've been in pain. My grieving process seems to involve a bit of hedonism. I'm not really into drugs but I was high and drunk when I met you. I'd been doing that a while… since he died. I've been fighting with my mom since he died. Her favorite word to throw at me is slut. That word bothers me. I'm okay with other words. Bitch. Whore. Loose. I hate the word slut." Lisa pulled her feet back and leaned forward. "Can I tell you something?"

"What?"

"When I took you home that night… I thought you'd be gone when I woke up in the morning. I was counting on it. I was going to shoo you out. Then I saw you making breakfast. Whistling and singing to the radio. Not a care in the world. Then you saw me and your smile…" She laughed to herself. "It was the biggest smile I've ever seen in my life and I knew you weren't 21 like you said… but in that moment… I wondered how young you were because you… it was such a kid in a candy store smile." Her smile faded a bit. "No one has ever looked at me that way."

"I'm sure someone will, eventually. There's a lot I never learned about you." Dean sniffed.

"I never got high again… after that weekend."

"You don't know that. You just know you never got high between that night and now."

"What I do know is that I saw a man smile at me like he won the lottery and he spent three days and nights in my shitty little apartment and he's the one that's traveled back in time to make sure my baby lives. Not some other guy that may or may not smile at me like that sometime after now."

"You should get some sleep." Dean croaked out.

* * *

He drove them to a motel in North Dakota. Just in case. Claire kept a post by the window, wrapped up in Caleb's flannel and gun in hand. She refused to talk to anyone. Once, Dean thought he saw her writing letters. She'd tuck them into her pocket and start another. Then he thought he saw her setting them on fire outside in a trashcan.

Lisa got busy with cooking. She took over taking care of them because Dean was drunk and Claire was sad. Lisa read a book on her fetal development and made sure the others ate. Then she watched as Dean's hand started shaking. Just the one. He'd grip it tightly and take another drink.

It got real bad the night Claire snapped out of it. She tried to keep Dean inside but something she saw in him made her let him go. He paced the parking lot for an hour before going off to get more booze. Claire turned on the local news and paced and checked her watch over and over.

Lisa munched on vegetables and watched late night reality shows. She watched Claire. Claire's blonde hair was everywhere. Then Dean walked in near dawn, covered in blood. Lisa rose to her feet but both of them made her sit down. As soon as he was cleaned up, they left. Dean slept in the passenger seat and Claire drove them away.

* * *

The next motel was in Utah. Claire read newspapers endlessly. She counted days on the calendar and then stood up suddenly. "Dean, what happened on this day?"

"What do you mean?"

"You've been pretty regular with your… bloodbaths and you didn't have one here. What happened that day?" Claire crossed her arms and tried to look into his eyes.

"Something that wasn't supposed to." Dean shrugged and tossed back another slug of whiskey. Then he got up to find another bottle.

Claire frowned after him then turned on Lisa. She pointed to the calendar. "Anything ringing a bell about this day? I know we were still at Caleb's."

Lisa took the calendar and shrug. "Most of the days run one into another. I was eating, walking and doing yoga daily."

"I think I was asleep for most of this day." Claire mused. "He went out, I remember. I waited up. He came home with barely bruised knuckles."

"OH…" Lisa gasped. "Um, we went for a walk."

"That's it?"

"That was all it was supposed to be…" Lisa hedged a bit more.

"What happened?" Claire demanded. Then she was storming outside with her answer. "You stupid son of a bitch."

"It only happened once." Dean leaned on the trunk of the car with his beer. "I should have taken a drive but she wanted to go for a walk and I… the mark took over."

"Whoa… you let the mark take over when you were alone with her?"

"There is no let. It just does." Dean looked her over. "I have these urges all the time. Any time I look at you, I have an urge. I tamp it down. I make a bad pass and you brush me off. And I'm very glad you don't want to take a roll with me. That would be awkward." Dean sniffed. "I don't let us be alone together when I'm like that anymore… because she doesn't put me off, because she wants me to."

"I'm all for the fact that she's in love with the Dean Winchester who banged her brains out some months back but you are not the sweet-faced boy you used to be, no offense intended. You're a bit scarier now than when I met you."

"She's… hanging on to something and… I think she's leaving me clues but… I don't know how to read them. She's…" Dean sighed. "Sam was talking about the Enochian symbol that gets left on the hearts of people struck by cupid… I dismissed the idea because you can't check the hearts of living people… I just… shut him down but I'm starting to think he's right. That it wouldn't matter what I looked like. I could be the hunchback in the bell tower and she'd be all over me."

"You think you got shot by Cupid?"

"Yeah but I can't figure out why? Usually that sort of thing furthers a bloodline but aside from Emma… I'm a dead end. She's dead."

"Our Lisa isn't quite at the end of her fertile years, Dean. That could still happen." Claire pointed out.

"No, it can't. Cain didn't have any children after he got the mark."

"You know that? With complete certainty?"

"We didn't do bible study as kids. I don't know."

"I did. Then again when I started hunting, especially after we figured out that it was a bloodline thing. I saw Caleb's notes… I just didn't ask him about it."

"Well, there's no one we could ask."

"Except Cain."

"No."

"Maybe it's something you need to hear."

"We can't."

"You can't." Claire stared at him. "Where is he? I'll ask the questions you can't."

"No."

"Dean…"

"We're going home soon. I don't know if that's days or weeks but it will be soon and I don't want to put you on the radar to the big nasty things." Dean stood still for a moment. "It is possible… for demons to father children. The circumstances have to be right and any child born that way has a chance of being… something all other creatures would hunt."

"Dean?"

"There's a little boy… well, he'd be a man now, in our time. His mother was a human and his father was a demon and… he's different. Last I saw, he was on the run… from demons and angels alike."

Claire stared at him for a long time. "I know this is…" She tried to choose her words. "I know why you might have been hit by that arrow."

"Oh yeah?"

"You saving Lisa and Ben now is important."

"Why? If you know so much, tell me."

"I was asked to kill Lisa. To spare her and Ben a life with you in it." Claire looked to her feet. "I could never do that to Lisa. I love her like a sister." She looked up at him. "I know that Ben and Erica are meant to conceive some child that brings about balance in the world. I know that it's possible they have already been struck by that arrow."

"Claire…"

"It's because he's your son, Dean. Ben is your son."

He began shaking his head before her first sentence had cleared her mouth. "No, he's not."

"He is. Lisa good as said so that day we saved her life. I just didn't say anything."

"No."

"You said yourself that you already know her mind gets wiped. Maybe she makes up the story about the barback because she doesn't remember the truth. She has a fear in her that he'll get taken away. A fear that we put there."

"No, it's… not…"

"He looks like you… a blend of the two of you. I've seen the way you look at her. At him."

Dean looked to the room where Lisa was staring at them through the window. "It just can't be."

"Why? Dean, what would be so bad about being his father?"

"I'm not a father." Dean bit out. "I fucked it up before."

"Maybe, you did… but the universe keeps throwing more chances at you. Just all the time. They bring you back. They bring her back to you over and over and you piss it away." Claire sobbed. "I loved Caleb but I see now, the way he mourns her… He loved Alannah. I loved John and he loves his Mary. I can't blame them but I would kill to have someone love me the way I love them. The only person on this planet who loves me that deeply is my child."

"Claire…"

"These are facts, Dean. Maybe you're afraid but it's the truth. I wouldn't lie to you."

"I know." Dean nodded. "We should take her home."

"You're right. You should." Henri spoke into Dean's ear. "You should send a letter, too. I have a date for you."

Dean spun around and Henri was gone. Claire stared at him. "You okay?"

"Fine." Dean shook his head. "We should take her home. In the morning."

"I need a drink." Claire stormed off.

Dean returned to the room and sat on the bed opposite Lisa. She shrugged. "Sorry. I let our… walk slip."

Dean leaned forward and laid his hand on her belly. She moved it over and he felt a kick. "He's strong."

"Yeah. He is." Lisa smiled at her belly. "This has been such a weird vacation. It will feel strange to be back and in my old life."

"How do you know you're going home?"

"Your face is… easy to read." She leaned back a bit and let him continue to feel Ben kicking. "What is now you doing right now?"

"Dad dumped us off so Sam could go to school and I guess so he could go meet Caleb for the first time. I'm 19 and I want to be out but I'm taking care of Sam. He's 15 and… we're having a prank war." Dean laughed low in his throat. "It's going to end in three days. He'll glue my hand to the whiskey bottle I wasn't supposed to touch. Then I'll shred his homework. Then he'll put a rotten egg under my pillow. Then I put Nair in his shampoo. Dad comes home right when Sam comes screaming out of the bathroom, half bald."

"You love him."

"I do."

"That would be nice. To have a couple of kids to play with each other. I have a sister and we fight a lot but she's a little younger." Lisa sighed. "You know… I've been gone a while. My apartment is probably gone. I'll have to live with my mom for a bit."

"Probably not." Dean pulled a wad of cash out of his pocket. "I can't take it with me. Claire's probably got a wad, too. A lot of these bills aren't in circulation anymore."

"Did you know she hooked up with your dad back at Caleb's?"

"Double standard." Dean took a breath. "No, fine. Whatever."

"It took days. He wore her down and she didn't cave until right before he left and I'm pretty sure she made it a condition." Lisa grinned. "She has it bad for him."

"Yeah."

"How did they meet?"

"Dad and I were on a hunt. I got snatched by a pixie. The… walls between dimensions got real thin. So I got dumped off somewhere far way, deaf. Same time she got snatched by a different pixie and she lands near my dad and he saved her life but… she'd already been terrorized, raped…" Dean dropped his hand from her belly. "It's strange that sensation… that feeling that you were forced to do something you didn't want to do."

"Dean…"

"He took her to a hospital, she was mute. Both of us had no memory except what had just happened and even what we had was hard to put together. Doctors wanted to send her to the bughouse. He let her choose is what he said. She chose to go with him and she stuck with him for almost a year… maybe a little over. When they caught up to me… they were in the middle of an implosion and I prolonged it. When she remembered, it all got worse, I think."

"You think he'll remember this visit at Caleb's?"

"I remember that he was drunk a lot. He probably barely remembers her. He came home and drank and had nightmares and drank and then went off on another hunt."

"So, he didn't recognize her?"

"Nah. Claire's 40 or thereabouts. When he meets her in a few years… she's 28 or so. Beautiful. I mean, she's hot now but then… Just… mindblowingly hot. I used to feel sorry for her… being hooked on the old man like that. She could have gotten anyone."

"Why didn't she? I mean…"

"From what I've seen. Her parents expected very little from her and that aggravated the shit out of her. She went out of her way to be purposeful and she wanted more than to be someone's wife."

"I figured out she knew Caleb in your world. What happened there?"

"She fell in love with him, had his kid and then he died. Their kid was barely a few weeks or months old. I don't really know the timeline." Dean shrugged. "Dad was on the phone with Caleb when he died. We watched my dad listen to him die."

"Where was she?"

"Already in the wind, I think. It was a dangerous time and… all our friends were… Most of them are dead."

"Dean… will you… please… hold me." Lisa asked softly.

Dean sighed and nodded. She slid over and he kicked off his boots. He hummed and listened to her babble about the dreams she had of opening her own studio and the kind of house she wanted and the kind of life she wanted. She was asleep soon enough. Dean was still humming when Claire returned, soused.

"I, uh…" Claire took a breath. "I was drinking and calling agents in Cicero. We got an appointment in a couple of days to get her someplace to stay. I got enough on me for six months rent."

"Good." Dean nodded.

"Your dad likes to whistle that tune." Claire commented.

"He taught it to me."

"We should get moving."

"Load up. I'll put her in the car when you're done." Dean shut his eyes.

"She's showing quite a bit now."

"Yeah."

"Dean?" She asked while she packed. "I was going to tell you before I told you about Ben…"

"Yeah, what?"

"That reaper… told me Lisa is pregnant… in our time."

"What?" Dean nearly leapt out of the bed. "But…"

"That's the real reason we were sent here… to stay out of it."

"But…" Dean breathed in and out and then started packing. "No."

Claire got moving again. "I sent a letter to Erica. Just to give Lisa some words of mine. Nothing to sway her mind… just… to let her know that I'm thinking about her and want her to be happy."

"She wouldn't keep it."

"Why wouldn't she?"

"She's got her life together and Ben's almost grown… and I'm nobody to her."

"You were nobody to her the first time."

"Fuck me." Dean grabbed their bags and stormed out to put them in the trunk. Then he stormed to the office to ask for pen and paper. He had his pen poised when Henri appeared again. "You're a fucker."

"Write your letter. I'll hold time a bit for you."

Dean glared and stared writing. "Dad, I don't know exactly how long we've been gone but I'm told time is passing there. Hopefully you got everyone squared and you're not freaking out too much. Claire and I have got this. This has been one giant circle jerk. I'm here so that I'm not there. That's the only reason. Things have to happen without me to fuck them up. I do that. I fuck everything up."

Dean shut his eyes for a long moment before he put the pen in motion. "I just got the best and worst news possible. I knocked up Lisa Braedan back in '98. You remember I went on that 5 states 5 days thing. Well, I spent it with that knock out and I never knew that he was mine. They sent me to her to protect her, they even sent demons after us to make sure I stayed with her. I just found out that I'm her son's father. You're a grandfather… again… or still. I don't know how that works. I did something a few years back. I almost got them killed and I got Castiel to save their lives and put them back without any memories of me. When Bobby died, I sent Claire to watch over them. That's the only reason they're in her life now. Dad, he's my son and I made him forget me. He loved me even when I was a monster, a literal monster and he doesn't remember. Protect them. Please. – Dean."

"That was nice." Henri nodded. "Not too much information. Good."

"Shut up." Dean muttered as he folded the letter and addressed the envelope. "What's that date?" Dean put it when it was spoken and stared at Henri. "Claire told me… about Lisa's baby… it's that time…"

"I know."

"You're taking a choice away from her."

"No, we are letting her make it." Henri shook his head. "You have all of these… extenuating circumstances and I recall that you making all the rules is what ruined your happy life."

"A demon ruined my happy life."

"Demons, Angels… Reapers." Henri shrugged. "It's always something, isn't it."

"What's the point? Shouldn't she get to be happy?"

"That is my point. Everyone has their happy little lives or their miserable little lives… That's their life. You don't get to decide which it is for someone else. You only decide which for yourself. People ask all the time… what is the meaning of life? I'm not allowed to tell because I'm not allowed the answer." Henri sat back. "As I understand it… no one's life is all good or all bad. Even you… have had some good moments in your life. This strange notion of happiness you have… ruins all your happy moments. Consider this… free therapy. It doesn't matter what you think life should be. It just… is."

"That's horseshit." Dean threw his pen down and tossed his letter on the stack of outgoing mail after helping himself to the electronic mail stamp. "She should know what kind of life her kids are going to have."

"They're going to have the same life whether they know or not." Henri called after him. "All you're doing is delaying knowledge!"

Dean got the car loaded and Claire alone before they woke Lisa. "Anything else you want to tell me?"

"No."

"No?"

Claire took a breath. "I fucked your old man, again."

"I already knew about that." Dean waved her off.

"Let's get going." Claire shook her head.

* * *

They arrived in Cicero just in time to wash up and get Lisa to the realtor. Dean sat in the car and counted out bills. He set a stack on the dash and tucked the rest into Lisa's bag. Claire followed suit. They had a little nest egg tucked into the bag and a good chunk of change to hand Lisa when she got back. Dean was standing on the sidewalk, keys in hand when he felt them. Three of them. He tossed the keys to Claire and took off running down an alleyway. Claire drew her gun and tossed the bag in her hand to the sidewalk. The demons split up, two went after Dean and one ran for Claire. Claire stayed between the office and the demon. Then two more demons showed up.

Dean returned from the alleyway covered in blood. Then he ran for the demons closing in on Claire. Holy water splashing over their faces, Claire ducked when Dean fired his gun at the closest one. Two bullets later his gun was empty and he had his hands on the demon. Hands under his chin and he spun the head clean off. Claire gaped at sight of blood spurting out of the neck. Dean was already reaching for the next demon. The third started to run, Claire tackled him and tried to get an incantation out while the demon struggled to get away. Claire flew backwards as Dean got his hands on the third demon.

"Dean!" Castiel strode up the street and tossed Dean a weapon from his jacket. Dean used it on the demon.

When he was still again, he was covered in blood, in broad daylight. Lisa stood in the window, face pale and hands on her stomach. Claire set the bag by the door and walked over to Dean, who was shaking. "I think it's time to go."

"Did she see?"

"I think so."

"I will fix your mess." Castiel told them as he laid his hands on their foreheads. He made the bodies disappear, then he paid a visit to each store in the strip. He saved Lisa for last. "Who all did you meet?"

"Caleb… John… and Dr. Robert." Lisa told him.

"I have to take most of the memories."

"What will you leave me with?"

"A weekend." Castiel touched her forehead. A moment later she smiled at him and walked out the door. She picked up her bag and kept walking.

* * *

TBC


	22. Chapter 21 - I thought I dreamed you

AN: I now have all the chapters loaded... just need to fix the formatting. I hate formatting.

* * *

Chapter 21 – I thought I dreamed you

* * *

John paced with the letter for a long while after Lisa left. He got the girls tucked into bed. Emma was technically too old for a story but she got one anyway. John sat on the bed beside Emma, Erica in his lap. He recited them a tale that he'd learned as a child but couldn't remember which parent told him. Erica giggled during the story and John though he saw half a smile on Emma's face. Then he left them to sleep. He knew Emma was faking. He'd raised two scheming boys.

Sam threw up his hands when John hit the bottom step. "Well?"

John pulled the letter out. "Dean has no idea what's happening now. He knows that he's coming back soon." Then John had to blink the wet out of his eyes. "And he just found out who Ben Braedan's father is."

Sam shook his head in confusion. Adam's eyes went wide. "You mean…"

"Yeah." John nodded. "He's… upset. I can see it in his handwriting. It's tight, scared."

"Wait. No. He asked her. Point blank." Sam lowered his voice and then took a step back. "They made her forget."

"They can do that?" John frowned.

"It's been done to you."

"What?" John blinked at him.

"Before Dean was born, Dean and I came to save your lives. Yours and Mom's. We… thought we could even talk her into leaving you before… it's complicated but she was already pregnant with Dean so our plan didn't work."

"You would have unmade yourselves?" John's voice boomed through the house.

"We were okay with it. We'd been through so much already." Sam held his hands out to placate his father. "Point is, you don't remember any of it. I do. I'm glad I got to see the person you were before Mom died."

"What did I say to you?" John stood frozen.

"Before we told you who we were… We told you what we were. Hunters and how we got started and you were… enraged that any person would raise a child that way. I defended you to… you. You and me… we're a lot alike, Dad. I just… never appreciated it before." Sam laughed to himself. "We made the mistake of treating you like a civilian."

"Oh?" John picked his head up.

"You'd do anything for her… including lowering yourself to blood sigils on the word of two people pretending to be her cousins."

"Did I find out… about her?"

"You did. You were pissed. At her for lying… at us for… bringing trouble."

"I guess I would be that way… back then." John tapped the letter on his hand. "Dean's not me… he's scared now. He's…"

"I know." Sam nodded. "The mark… does bad things to Dean when he's scared."

"Well, it's a little more complicated. Lisa's pregnant… now." John gestured to the door. "Dean doesn't know that either. He's coming back here and he's got… a slew of babies around."

"You need to tell Emma. Things were getting way too cozy during that video game." Adam made a face.

"In the morning." John took a breath.

"Now is okay." Emma spoke up from the stairs.

"Okay. Family meeting. Sam's going to tell us a story."

"What?" Sam barked.

"I want to know how I have a grandson whose mother not only doesn't know who his father is but managed to get pregnant twice with the same guy. Most women… they remember something like that."

* * *

Lisa picked up a pair of silent children at the high school. Erica's chatter filled the car. Ben sat in the front seat, staring out the side-window, moody. Emma looked like she wanted to cry. When Lisa pulled into the Reid driveway, she put the car in park. "Ben, will you go check if John or Sam need anything?"

"Fine." Ben leapt out of the car with Erica on her heels. Emma moved toward the door.

"You okay?"

"Yes." Emma paused in the open door.

"Did something happen?"

Emma stared at her nails. "Ben likes me. I like him… but… I told him we should just be friends and he got upset."

"Oh, honey. It's not your fault. He's on the rebound. He'd've been useless to you, anyway." Lisa reached out the window. "He'll get over it."

"I hope so."

Ben stormed out of the house and hopped into the car again. Emma's face crumpled and she ran inside. Lisa stared at him. He glowered at the dashboard. Lisa lifted her eyes to the doorway. John held onto a sobbing Emma and waved before he shut the door. "How bad was it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about?" He mumbled.

She sighed and pulled out of the driveway. "She still wants to be your friend."

"I know." He bit out.

Lisa turned away from home and put them on a drive around time. "I know that you don't want to talk about this with your mother."

"I really don't."

"There are things you don't know about Emma."

"Oh yeah?"

"She's younger than she looks. Her mother kept her away from boys, away from… knowledge." She glanced over at him. "She's still getting her feet under her and she's waiting on her dad to show up. She ran away from home."

Ben deflated some. "I kissed her in front of my friends. She looked like she was going to be sick."

"Oh, honey." Lisa pulled in to the ice cream shop. "I'm sorry."

"Am I repulsive?"

"I'm sure that it's not about you. You are the center of my life… not everyone else's." She nodded him into the store.

* * *

John sighed when Adam interrupted with a box of tissues and a bar of chocolate. Adam shrugged, kissed Emma's forehead and vanished on a wind of energy. Emma wiped her nose and frowned at the bar of chocolate. John opened it for her and took a piece for himself. "My wife enjoyed her chocolate more when she shared it."

"Why does Adam know more about women than you and Sam?"

John laughed to himself. "Adam had the joy of having a mother. I had a mother but she was… so much more reserved. I spent more time with my stepfather. Sam's mother died when he was a baby."

"I don't think he likes me anymore." Emma sighed and closed her eyes for a minute. "I wanted to tell him."

"It's not our news." John shifted his weight when Erica climbed onto the couch between them. "Hey, Pippi, was your day better than hers?"

"Meh. Math. Reading." Erica snuggled in and John shook his head at her.

"Couple of brainiacs."

"Watch it, Dad, you'll have yourself surrounded by high school graduates." Sam snorted and tilted his head at Emma. "What's wrong with her?"

"Ben kissed her at school in front of everyone." Erica made a face at him. "And when she told him not to do it again, he got mad and was mean to her."

"That's not like Ben." Sam set his laptop down.

"I told him that I just wanted to be friends. His friends started laughing."

"No excuse but noted." Sam growled. "He was raised better."

"By who, exactly?" John frowned at him.

"Lisa, mainly but Dean…" Sam let the sentence die. "Dean didn't let him do asshole things like that… but Ben doesn't remember that."

"We don't have… brothers." Emma stared at the bar of chocolate. "I'm not even sure it's possible."

"You don't worry about that." John whapped her lightly.

"What? No wrap it up speech?" Sam snorted and moved on. "Classy, Dad."

"Girls are different than boys." John called after him.

"My mommy says I can't get married until I can take down a full size werewolf by myself." Erica sighed. "But she won't let me practice."

"How about… age 20? Then I've got no problem with either of you kissing boys."

Adam burst out laughing in the kitchen, followed a second later with Sam.

"Nobody asked you two!" John called back.

"Their parents have more say in it than Pop-pop does!" Adam called back.

"Shit." Dean and Claire dropped to their knees in the middle of the living room. Dean couldn't take his eyes off of Emma. "What is she doing here?"

Claire tried to stand but her knees felt like they'd gone on leave. She didn't have to move. Erica tackled her. Claire held on tight and gave John a weak smile.

Dean pushed to his feet and lifted a bloody arm to Emma. "Why are you back?"

"Dean." John rose and shifted in front of Emma.

"Dad, you don't know what she is."

"Yeah, I do." John looked at his son. "She's been with me. I've watched her. I've helped her. She's not the same as she was before."

"She's… normalish." Adam commented from the doorway. "Whose blood is that?"

"Dean." Sam rushed around the couch. "You okay?" Dean gave Sam a look and gestured to Emma. "I was outvoted."

"He's going to kill me." Emma burst into tears.

"Not right now, he's not." John gathered her into his arms. "Dean, go wash up."

"Lovely idea." Claire got her feet under her. "Is that my blouse?"

"Just borrowed." John offered. "She has her own clothes now."

"Okay." Claire grabbed Dean and shoved him toward her downstairs bathroom. "I'm taking a bath. John, keep the peace. No one murders anyone in my house… and despite being outnumbered by Winchesters… It is my house."

Dean looked around the house, his arm throbbed but he kept walking to the bathroom. He turned the water up and stripped. He watched the water run red, then pink and then clear. Then he grabbed the soap. His hand was still shaking. When he snapped off the water, his father was standing there with a change of clothes. "Water that hot… leaves burns."

"I've become immune to death." Dean took the clothes. "I'll be out in a minute."

"Are you going to kill that little girl?"

"I don't know."

"Don't. I'm asking you not to. She's… counting on you, as her father, to protect her if they find out she's alive."

"Well, she's made an impression on you." Dean dried off and sat to enjoy the last of the steam.

"Well, she's had a traumatic couple of weeks. She's been on her own. She's afraid. She's learning to be a girl, a regular girl and whatever they taught her didn't cover normal things. She's stopped aging like one of them."

Dean frowned at that. "She should be older by now but I don't have the lifeline of an Amazon mapped out anywhere. They're supersecret about their lives. I have no idea how old her mother was."

"Well, there was a wrinkle, today."

"Another one?"

"Ben… likes Emma."

"Jesus." Dean pulled up his pants.

"She knows. He doesn't… and Lisa is asking after you."

"I know." Dean pulled on a shirt.

"She's been a big help around here with Emma. I'm not equipped for time of the month talks." John opened the door.

Dean emerged and found Lisa sitting with Emma in the living room. Empty bowls of ice cream on the coffee table, Emma in Lisa's arms. Dean watched them for a minute. Then he stepped into the room. Emma started upright. Dean motioned her over. The hug was awkward but Dean finally quieted a part of the beast who had been rumbling since coming to in the field. Dean opened his mouth. "I have been looking for you for months." Her breath hitched and he squeezed her tighter. Then he held her out from him. Noted the style of her clothes, Lisa, though they were Claire's. That face that haunted his sleep. "Well, you've survived my dad's cooking."

"Lisa did a fair bit of cooking… and showing me how." Emma looked over her shoulder.

"I heard." Dean cleared his throat. "You… look so much like my mom did when she was your age." Dean sniffed and cleared his throat again. "About…"

"You were pretty gross." Emma turned to Lisa. "They hit a deer on the way home and Dean was covered in blood."

"We survived." Claire came down the stairs and had a look at Emma. "She's the spitting image of you, Dean. So pretty. I always knew you'd make a pretty girl." She smiled at his glare. "Come on, Emma. We're going to order dinner and let Dean and Lisa have a moment."

When they were out of earshot, Dean cleared his throat. "Did my dad call you over?"

"I let Ben blow his steam, got him some ice cream and brought her some because all Adam gave her was a cheap chocolate bar." Lisa stacked the bowls on the coffee table. "Did they tell you about… what happened?"

"Ben and the kiss… and the kiss off." Dean nodded. "I got a bit of it when I walked in the door."

"I want you to know that I didn't raise him that way. It was too soon after…"

"The girl that left him for the opposing pitcher." Dean nodded. "Emma is…"

"I explained. He'll have to apologize on his own." She stood and wiped her hands on her jeans. "Dean… we need to talk… soon… but you just got in."

"Yeah… Thanks though… for taking care of all of them… I'm…"

"I figured as much." Lisa nodded. "I should go."

"I have a question…" Dean walked around the couch to walk her to the door. "What were you doing back in… '98?"

She rolled her eyes and smiled. "Nothing good for me… except making Ben. Spent the summer shacking up with any bad boy I met in a bar. I traveled the country before I realized I was pregnant. Why do you ask?"

"You just… remind me of a girl I met one summer. Spent the weekend with her and wished I could have stayed." Dean shook his head. "I'll let you go. I've got a family reunion of sorts…"

"Of course." Lisa tilted her head at him. "She's a wonderful girl. Shy. Terrified of everything."

"That's what Dad said. I'm… still new to this."

"Well, she calls your father Pop-pop… maybe you let her know it's okay to call you Dad."

"Maybe." Dean shook his head. "Dad. It's new."

"We do need to talk."

"I know. Soon." Dean promised and closed the door after her.

Claire had a twinkie hanging out of her mouth. "I thought your dad would have eaten them all."

"He did." Erica ratted him out. "Lisa bought more."

Claire whapped John. She stared at him. "You're infuriating at any age."

"Why do you say that?" John grinned at her.

"'98, Caleb's barn. You're a dirty old man." She tilted her head at him when he tilted his head to think. "Don't tell me you don't remember."

"'98… fall. I showed up at Caleb's to look into a trio, one of which claimed to be related to me. He never showed up but…" John looked her over. "No, you're way more beautiful than she was. You're nice to me."

"It was four days ago." Dean stared at his dad.

"How would I have recognized her? I recall that woman hiding her face from me at every opportunity. She only took me to the barn to negotiate my exit after I poured my secrets all over the porch to get into her good graces."

"You said all that to get into my pants?! You're shameless." Claire ate another twinkie and then hopped off the counter. "You men have done a terrible job of running my house. We have to get things in order. Sam, you're making a run to the store for the following. Dean, you're going to the grocery store. You're taking Emma with you." She scribbled on a notebook some lists.

"Why do we work for you now?" Sam bit out.

"Because I got sucked into a nightmare because of you guys and you're all over my house. Glad to see my child is still alive but you let her run across the country." Claire fished a wad of twenties out of the flour jar. "John the delivery guy will be here soon. I just ordered everything. I'm starved and Dean will eat half of it himself."

"I'm standing right here." Dean glared at her.

"What? You're almost as much of a pig as your father is." Claire poured water down her throat and tossed her wet hair over her shoulder. "Girls in Erica's room… Emma, I hope Erica isn't kicking you too much but I'll have Sam get you a mattress when he picks a couple up for the rest of you men. I'm sure the couch is killing whoever is sleeping on it and someone else is not sleeping."

"This is why you need a mom." Adam pointed out to the rest of them. "Lisa was letting us suffer because she was mad at Dean but see… She's momming."

"He gets that from you." Claire pointed to Adam, speaking to John. "I do believe he's more clever, though."

"I'm the funny one." Dean motioned to Adam that he had his eye on him.

John answered the door when the food arrived. The bags were heavy but Adam helped him to the table. Claire was still making lists and taking inventory.

"You guys haven't told us about your… trip." Sam pressed as he was handing out food.

"We don't need to do that right now." Claire shook her head.

"We know about Lisa." Sam offered.

"I didn't know about Emma. Can I have a moment with my thoughts?" Dean stared at his brother. "I had zero children about three months ago."

"Seven weeks." John supplied.

"Really? Only seven weeks?" Claire looked at Dean. "Lisa was…. With a fucking basketball up front."

"Anyway. I had zero children seven weeks ago and now I have three. I'm up to my ears in…" Dean searched but couldn't find a word.

"Adventitiousness?" Adam offered. Dean glared. "Serendipity?" Adam shook his head at Dean when Dean started slowly shaking his head. "Providence?"

"I'm going with random." Dean took his carton to the counter top. "I've got a lot of random recently."

"Did she tell you yet?" Claire winced as she reached across the table to snatch an eggroll. "Where did all these chairs come from?"

"Ben pulled this together last night." John motioned. "I didn't ask."

"Some of these chairs might belong to the neighbor's patio." Claire shook her head. "That kid."

"Dean… we're all here. Surely, you have some insight." Sam pressed. "We're shooting in the dark here."

"I don't even know where Cas is right now. The whole time we were there, he was kept out of play. They kept me there so that here… I couldn't do shit. So… now we're all here… and I have three kids." Dean found the whiskey and poured it down his throat. "I have three kids."

"Two and a half." John corrected.

"Right." Dean sighed. "And my son tried to stick his tongue down my daughter's throat but that's fine, too. My daughter is an Amazon… or was… I don't understand it. There is a balance that Death is trying to rectify. I still can't account for the months just prior to our little adventure. I'm getting a little tired of thinking about it."

"Well, we got Adam back from walking pneumonia, got Erica home from New Mexico… found Emma in Kansas." John ran a hand through his hair.

"I'm going to the store. Adam, come." Sam set down an empty carton. Adam took his with him.

"Girls. Finish your dinner, homework and to bed." John motioned. They grumbled but did as told. Claire watched them go with amazement.

"They just do what you tell them to?"

"Of course they do. He's Pop-pop." Adam grinned at her and ducked a rolled up napkin.

"Pop-pop." Dean looked to his father. "You have gone soft in your death, sir."

"I died a father. I am resurrected a grandfather. Who knew?" John held his glass out for more.

"Dean… Sam was concerned about a… overly enthusiastic reaction to Emma but…"

"Surprised. I'm surprised." Dean nodded. "Very. She seems… convincing."

"What's her deal?" Claire peered around the doorway to make sure little ears weren't on the stairs.

"She found Erica on our way back from New Mexico. I think she was just trying to scam food. Then she let slip she was looking for Dean. I think she might have been on her way to Lawrence."

"Why?"

"You were born there… maybe she was trying to get a trail on you." John took a breath and a gulp of whiskey. "Anyway, she was starving and she became a woman all over my boxers in a motel. Freaked her shit out. When we got here, I enlisted Lisa because… well, she was hanging around… looking for you. Got a lot of women on your tail lately, son."

"It's a burden." Dean ran a hand over his face. "I'm supposed to be surprised when she springs the news."

"Dean… I just…" Claire touched his arm, flinched when he shook her off.

"Yeah. I know."

"I'm going to check on the girls." Claire left them.

"Dean…" John laid a hand on his shoulder.

"I can't catch a break. If it were just one of them… that would be enough… I got three rings going. I got the damn Mark in the center, I got kids and a woman over there and… undead relatives in the last."

"Look… Emma… She needs someone to talk to. Right now… her options are limited. She doesn't know Claire yet and she can't really talk to Lisa. Her first kiss was her brother. There's no one with the know how in this."

"God." Dean shut his eyes. "Cas. Cas! Cas. Please tell me you got the radar on, man."

Castiel appeared a moment later. "I'm still working on the reason for the ruse, Dean. I… had plenty of time to rest and am nearly restored now… I cannot fathom who would lead me that far astray."

"Reapers."

"Reapers did this? They're not allowed to interfere." Castiel burst out.

"And yet…" Dean sat down. "We were sent there to stay out of the way. I got two kids and one on the way and Reapers playing with the balance. Billie and Henri are on opposing sides, it seems."

"Billie." Castiel frowned. "She… was the Reaper in Charge after Tessa."

"She's not in charge anymore. Henri is. Douchey Frenchman. Billie tried to get Claire to kill Lisa. Guess she didn't realize how attached Claire is to Lisa." Dean crossed his arms. "Anything from upstairs?"

"Joshua is calling audiences with Angels… but… I'm not sure I'm on that list."

"Any idea who's springing the locks and opening cages?"

"No."

Dean paced, his arm shaking. Dean looked to Castiel. "She was my first thought, Cas. When I woke up… I thought… Where is she? She spent two weeks wandering the country looking for me and… she says she wants me to protect her… from who?"

"When she died… she should have gone where all the monsters go." Castiel shook his head. "She wasn't in heaven."

"Purgatory." John supplied.

"Yes. For her to come back… someone would have to smuggle her back but… she had no body left here to bind her."

"What if I… what if I bargained for her?" Dean asked.

"You usually bargain with yourself, Dean. I've seen you do it… to save someone you love."

"Don't I love her? Isn't… that what's been eating me up?"

"I couldn't say. I do not… love."

"That's bullshit, Cas."

"I have affinity for you, for your brother… for…"

"For Claire." Dean nodded.

"Me?" Claire appeared in the doorway.

"My… vessel had a daughter. Her name is Claire. She and I are…"

"Complicated." Dean filled in.

"Angels have children." John took the bottle from Dean.

"My vessel had a child. Just as you were once Michael's vessel, does not make Sam or Dean or Adam Michael's children. They are your children."

"I was what?" John looked to Dean.

"For like… twenty minutes back in '78. You were cool with it." Dean shook his head.

Claire sat and took the bottle for a drink of her own. "No offense Castiel but I'm not a fan of Angels so far… or Reapers."

"Hey Cas… when we left Lisa… in '98… what all did you take from her?"

"You. This you." Castiel laid his hand on Dean's shoulder. "I took Claire and Caleb and Dr. Robert but mostly left her memories of feeling safe. I also… blurred your father's and Caleb's memories a bit."

"That explains that." Claire glared at John.

"How… solid are those blocks in Lisa's brain? In Ben's?" Dean gripped his arm, hard.

"They're held with… the barest of veils. If Lisa started picking… if she knew there was something to remember… she might start. It's not like Sam, the horrors he saw needed something much stronger and… I could never build something like that. Lisa's memories were mostly good. As long as she's… happy, they may never surface."

"But… if…"

"The… trigger would be different for each. Some… treasured memory that would… spark a cascade of memory."

"Why didn't you tell me that before?"

"You and I were… at odds. I wanted you to be… secure. I omitted what would… fracture our tenuous bonds."

"So, when I talked to them that night."

"There was a chance they could remember something. Small… infinitesimally small."

"So… she could be remembering now."

"It is possible." Castiel took his hand back. "But not likely."

They drank in silence. Castiel vanished. The boys returned and started blowing up mattresses in the living room. Dean took the bottle with him when he went to claim a mattress and a corner of the room. He drank and shut his eyes while Adam got settled in his own corner. Then Sam left the house. Claire and John spoke in low tones until they gave up and went to bed, together.

Dean lay awake for a long time. Then Erica wedged herself between his thigh and the wall. She fell asleep using his knee as a pillow. He was just dozing off when Emma appeared at the foot of his mattress. Then he had a girl tucked in on either side of him. Emma's grip was tight. Her arm wrapped across his chest.

He let himself forget that Emma was born a thing. She was a girl. His girl. He stroked her hair and felt her breathe beside him. Let Erica kick his shins all night. He must have dozed off. When he woke, he could hear voices.

"Oh my God. That is so sweet. Look at the three of them."

"I called both girls in sick to school. I didn't want to ruin that. Don't tell him but I already took like a dozen pictures."

"Where's John?"

"He took one look at that and started bawling his eyes out. He went for a run with Adam. Adam took a bunch more pictures and I think he was using props."

"Do they spend much time together?"

"Oh no… Dean just found out about her a few years ago. They met once for… like an hour. Then… Well, she jetted. So, Dean went on ahead to get ahead of her mother, called me in as reinforcement. Yesterday was the longest they ever spent together. I don't know how or when this happened but it's ovary bursting. I almost dragged John back upstairs for another go."

"Another go? Is that… happening?"

"I can't keep my hands off him and… John doesn't say no. Come. I got some coffee to go with those cinnamon rolls."

Dean opened his eyes after a long moment. Both Erica and Emma were still asleep. Dean could smell the coffee and he needed it. "Em." He nudged her. "Emma."

"Hmm?"

"Come on. Let's get up and get dressed."

"Is it time for school?"

"We missed the bus. C'mon. I smell cinnamon rolls." Dean nudged the other one. "Erica…"

"No…" Erica groaned.

"Come on, guys. Dean needs his coffee." Dean tried to sit up but only succeeded in dragging them with him.

"You need some help?" Claire appeared with a cup of coffee. "Here. You work on that. I'll take care of mine." Dean took the cup and took a deep draw on it. Claire knelt and tickled her daughter. "Sleepyhead, come on… Dean's leg is asleep and he's hungry."

"Mom…" Erica groaned.

"Come on." Claire pried her off Dean's leg and hefted her into her arms. "Jesus. You're so big. Did you grow while I was gone?"

"No." Came the petulant response.

"Onto the couch with you." Claire dumped her off. "Twenty minutes and then you need to get dressed."

Dean stared down at the side of Emma's face. His face snapped around when he heard the mechanical schnick of a camera phone taking a picture. Claire bit her lip. "It's so fucking adorable."

"Watch your mouth around my kid." Dean sighed. It was so close. He could taste it. Normal. Dean nudged Emma again. "Come on. Get washed up."

"Okay." She nodded and sat up. She looked at him. "I thought I dreamed you."

"I know the feeling."

"Oh." Her eyes grew wide and her jaw dropped. Dean watched her eyes fill with water and shame. Then he saw the stain.

"It's okay, honey." Claire swooped in. "It's okay. Happens all the time… to everyone. C'mon." She took a tearful Emma to the downstairs bathroom. Dean got up and finished his cup before making his way to the kitchen for more. Lisa was setting rolls on plates from the pan she'd just taken from the oven.

"Morning." Dean told her as he poured himself more coffee.

"Good morning." She gave him a small smile. "Where's Emma?"

"Lady emergency. Claire's on it." Dean took a breath. "Dad filled me in. Thanks for stepping in with that. Sam's the only girl in the family and he's not a fan of Emma."

"Why?"

"Correction…" Dean sighed. "Not a fan of Emma's _mother_."

"How did you meet?"

"In a bar."

"I thought she was one of those… no men, long underwear types."

"Not when I met her." Dean shrugged. "Anyway… I'm not good with the… pms and… blood stuff."

"No one is." Lisa found more plates for the cinnamon rolls. She set a bunch of forks on the table.

"Please. No self-respecting person eats cinnamon rolls with a fork." Dean took a plate and sat down with his coffee.

Lisa sat with her own. "I do."

"Priss." Dean told her as he took a huge bite and got icing and nuts in his stubble. "Only way to do it is go all in."

"Oh yeah?" Lisa picked up her fork. "I like making sure that I'm not biting off more than I can chew."

Dean coughed and kept chewing. "I like it when it works out. You take a big bite and taste all the gooey cinnamon and sugar." He wiped at his mouth and licked the back of his hand. "Best part."

"Oh yeah?" she took another small bite.

"I regret not spending more time that night." Dean sobered a bit. "Especially after all this." He motioned around the house.

"When are you going home?"

"I don't know." Dean shrugged.

"I don't think I've ever seen her so relaxed and you… when you were asleep with the girls all over you… you looked… young." Lisa tilted her head at him. "She was so nervous about you coming home. She seems… calm now."

"Jesus. I'm not."

"You're different than you were."

"I am." Dean nodded.

"Dean… I…"

"Hey Dean." Emma walked in, dressed and hair brushed. She had one of John's flannel shirts over her top and jeans. "I… I'm sorry about… I don't know why I acted like such a little girl."

Dean brushed her hair off her face and rubbed her shoulder. "No, you're fine. I should have been here when you got here. Come on, eat one of these. They are fantastic." Dean watched her as she looked at Dean's plate, a mess over his other hand and Lisa's plate with the fork.

Dean took another big bite of his roll. Lisa cut another piece with her fork. Emma hesitantly picked up her fork and took a small piece into her mouth. "It's really good, Lisa."

"Thank you. My mom taught me how to make them." Lisa gave her a smile. Her smile faltered a bit. "Your dad enrolled Emma in school with Ben… are you going to stay?"

"For now." Dean shrugged. "My life is kind of… everywhere."

"Is Ben still mad at me?" Emma pressed.

"He'll get over it. He's a boy." Lisa rolled her eyes and smiled. "I think he just… wanted to be near you."

Dean cleared his throat and laid his clean hand on Emma's back. "He's a good kid. Some girl just dumped him for no good reason. He was already mad."

"Your dad does that." Lisa motioned. "He lays his hand on the back of the child he's talking to."

"I guess he does." Dean nodded to himself. "Well, Dad's not a hugger."

"Pop-pop lets me hug him."

"Cause you're a girl. Men don't hug…"

"That is a bald-faced lie." Sam snorted as he slipped into the kitchen to help himself to Claire's stash of granola. "We hug."

"When people almost die." Dean pointed out.

"You're not going to have one, Uncle Sam?" Emma pointed at her cinnamon roll.

"They're delicious but we don't all have metabolisms like your dad." Sam sat down with the granola and a carton of almond milk.

Emma looked at Dean. "Can I call you that?"

Dean froze as he was chewing. "Uh… I… well. I mean…"

"That is what you are, Dean." Sam pointed out.

"Kay. I mean, yeah. Sure." Dean nodded. "I mean, if that's what you want."

"Be careful with that." Lisa warned. "You're the parent."

Dean finished his roll and moved to the sink to wash up. Then he was standing in the archway watching them. Emma copied Lisa's every move. Lisa chatted with Sam a bit. Claire and Erica joined them after while. Then John and Adam. Then Dean found himself walking Lisa home. They chatted about the suddenness of Dean's parenthood. Then they were in Lisa's bedroom and Dean took his time. The light of day really did something to her skin. It was as he was on top of her, watching her face that he started to see her recognition of him. That really got him going. When he'd brought her off a few times and he was finally able to come, he stared down at her. Buried deep inside her, inches from her face. Lisa gripped his arms as she ground up against him. Then they were both still.

Lisa cupped his face. "Dean… I'm pregnant."

His panic had faded since 1998. After he had felt Ben, his son, kick his hand through her belly. His wonder had started to grow. He slid over and placed his hand on the softness of her belly. "There are a lot of things I could say that would be the right thing or the wrong thing and those would be lies."

"Dean…"

"My life… is shit. Absolute shit." Dean took a breath. "I'm a bit of a control freak and I'm freaked out by the turns in my life recently. Too old to be doing some of this shit." He looked into her face. "What I will say is… if you want to, I will try. If you don't want to, that's okay. Whatever you want to do… I will be okay with that. I will try to be what you need but know… I have… a lot on my plate and I will disappoint you. I will be absent more than I am present."

"Your dad told you, already."

"Not as such." Dean shook his head. "You seem like you have your life together. If you want to have…" he breathed out, "this baby… my baby… I would be honored… I just… don't feel like I get a lot of good things and I really don't want to ruin it."

"I know you from somewhere." Lisa frowned and pushed him away so she could sit up. "What did you ask me yesterday?"

"What you did back in '98… I was specifically thinking about… um… September."

"I… um… That… time is a big blur." Lisa held her head. "I may have gotten into some drugs. Basically September until Christmas is a big blur."

"Sorry to hear that." Dean sat up and reached for his shorts. "Let me get us something to eat and we can talk with our clothes on."

"Probably a good idea." Lisa held her head and pulled the sheet up her body.

Dean found his jeans and tromped down to whip together some eggs. He heard the water going upstairs and turned on the radio. He was calm. He was. There was just one detail left but otherwise, he was almost happy. Creepy daughter with touchy-feelies. Heart-broken son trying to scam on his sister. Zygote about to start a war. Emma was starting to grow on him. Needy little teenager. He turned around to plate and Lisa was standing there with a smile on her face. "Scrambled?"

"You… doing this… is… probably my most favorite thing ever." She motioned to him, shirtless, standing at his stove.

"This?" Dean made a face. "Not what I did upstairs. This."

"Upstairs… that's good but I can't display upstairs for my girlfriends." She took the plate and made a motion with her hand. "I um… kind of figured you'd be gone when I came down."

"I said we were going to talk and we're going to." Dean poured himself some juice and sat down with her. "Besides, you know where I'm sleeping at night. My kid is set up at Claire's. Running's not doing anyone any good."

"It's a baby… not a football game."

"I know… I just… trying to focus."

"What do you do for a living? I mean… really." Lisa picked at her eggs. "Your dad gave me a credit card to take Emma shopping and… that wasn't his name on the card. I'm… not judging… just asking."

Dean took a bite of his eggs and weighed the question for a long bit. "Odd jobs. I don't… sit well in one place for very long. I um… get cash by gambling. Pool, cards… credit card fraud. Been doing it my whole life. I… solve problems but not for the mob or anything. Pay is shit but I get shit done."

"Okay. That was a fabulous non-answer. I'm a yoga instructor dabbling in private lessons because I want to run my own studio someday."

"I can get a job. I can… probably keep a job. I'm a fair mechanic. I did some carpentry once. I… worked in construction for a year… but… those jobs are rough on my already rough knees."

"Okay. Let's say it all goes badly and our… time together ceases to be physical in nature. What kind of support can you give?"

"Wow. That was terrifyingly robotic but I'm going to roll down that rabbit hole with you." Dean stared at her and couldn't find that girl who had been perfectly okay to have his baby when she was sure it was all going to work out. "If you don't want me here or I can't be here… you name the terms and I will stick to them."

"So, if I… name a child support amount… we negotiate and that amount appears." She sniffed. "Or say… we lay out visitation and you show up when appointed."

"I can make… money appear… I sometimes can't make myself appear." Dean held his hand out. "This is… worst case scenario. Okay? I disappoint you in a major way, you run me off. I provide money. I stay away. That's the most likely scenario but…" Dean set his fork down. "You're jumping the gun."

"You're right. I'm not the person I was when I got pregnant with Ben. I was young and idealistic." She gave him a small smile. "Now, I'm just… used to men leaving. It's been hard raising a young man when… I have so little faith in them. I want you, badly… I just know… I don't get to keep you."

"I have had the strangest two months. We have been talking about the man I was… and not the man I'm going to have to be. I have a daughter. She's… terrified of everything. Terrified of going home. She loves you and she thinks she loves me but only because she doesn't know me yet… just like you don't know me yet." He took a breath. "I live… basically like a hermit and that's not a place for her. I'll have to be in a place… like this… where she can go to school and figure out that she wants to be as little like me as possible."

"What are you proposing?"

"Well, I'm not proposing." Dean took a breath and a page out of Lisa's old playbook. "Let's just see where we go. I'd like to be here. I missed Emma's entire childhood. If I can do both things in one place… I'd like to try. She likes you. She likes Claire and she's… glued to Erica and she's devastated that Ben hates her. This is her place. I need to be with her in her place. I'll have to get us somewhere in the district. Dad will stay with Claire as long as she'll let him and he'll want to be where he can see Emma. Sam will probably go home… he's planning on taking Adam with him."

"Okay. Planning not to make a plan?"

"Just to take it day by day. If we have more afternoons like this one… I'm game. I just… don't want to rush off." He met her eyes. "I've never… really tried to do this before. It's probably gonna suck but… I won't know if I don't try… especially if you don't let me… I want to." He sniffed. "We can go slow. Family dinners so we can get to know Emma and I can get to know Ben."

* * *

TBC


	23. Chapter 22 - Don't want that in my house

Chapter 22 – I don't want that in my house

* * *

Claire and John had the girls working on archery. Erica was good. Emma was excellent. John didn't even have to adjust her stance. Erica worked braids into Emma's hair and declared they were sisters. Claire tilted her head at that. John shook his head. "She's holding out hope that you'll make Dean her new dad."

"But she loves Pop-pop." Claire laughed.

"Pop-pop buys milkshakes and lets her skip school once in a while to train. She loves Pop-pop cause he ain't her dad." John laid his arm over her shoulder. "She was barely keeping it together, I think. Pippi! Keep that elbow up!"

"Pippi?" Claire asked softly.

"We… had to build a rapport. She calls me Pop-pop cause I think she always wanted a grandparent and I call her Pippi cause she reminds me of the Longstocking story I heard when I was a kid. Freckles…"

"Yeah… Caleb's freckles." She grinned. "Oh, stop that." She tucked herself into his side. "You've always seen him as competition and you guys were never in competition."

"Well, he's always bugged me."

"You're so full of it."

"I'm glad you got her." He kissed her forehead.

"Me, too." Claire left him leaning against the fence to pick up a bow herself. John watched Emma fire arrow after arrow into the target. Then he noticed she was trembling. She had a look in her eyes. John slowly stepped toward her. Then she was looking around in sharp angles, her bow swinging around to targets that John couldn't see. Claire cleared Erica to the house.

"What do you got, Emma?" John asked softly as he continued his slow approach.

"Seven of them. In the trees." She fired into the one tree in Claire's backyard but swung around again to fire an arrow at the house. "Vampires, I think."

"Arrows won't kill a vampire."

"Doesn't have to kill them. Just slow them down." Emma swung around and fired at a sudden movement.

Dean hit his knees. "God damn it… son of a bitch!"

"Daddy?" Emma dropped the bow and rushed to Dean's side. "I… I didn't mean to."

"I'll heal." Dean groaned and pushed to his feet. "What the hell is happening back here?"

"I… I…" Emma started bawling then rushed into the house.

John pushed Dean into a lawn chair to notch the arrow with his hunting knife before he broke off the tail end. "She thought there were Vampires in the trees. She was trying to slow them down."

"The tree." Dean pointed.

"She seemed to think there were several trees. She looked scared."

"Fuck." Dean took a breath and held it while the arrow was pulled out of the back of his shoulder.

"Well… she said she thought they were Vampires." John balled up his flannel against the wound while Claire found the first aid kit.

"I know where she was. Been there myself." Dean sat still and stretched his shoulder, it was already knitting itself shut. "Don't need stitches. Can't die, remember."

"Right. The mark." John pulled the flannel away and watched the hole shrink. "She's probably upstairs." He watched Dean for a moment. "Well, go. That's your kid up there and she's hurting and she thinks she hurt you. Go."

"When did you get good at the father stuff?" Dean muttered.

"When I became a grandfather. Git."

Dean found Emma in Erica's closet, rocking herself. "Come on. Come out."

"I didn't mean to."

"Let me guess. You were running around a forest. Everything smells like death and every creature from your nightmares was hunting you down." Dean sat on the floor outside the closet. Her face lifted and her green eyes were scared and full of tears. "No matter how well you hid your tracks, they seemed to find you anyway and all you can do is keep fighting."

"I got a break. A small one. They said… I could hear them talking about the human man and the angel. I hid. I don't remember how long."

"Yeah, we were there at the same time for a bit. A year or so." Dean took a breath. "Sometimes… I think I'm back there. Fighting for my life."

"I saw some of my sisters there. They didn't last long but… they weren't like me. They could hide in one place for a long time. Not me." Emma's hands were shaking.

"Maybe it's because you got a piece of me in there. Humans were… easy to find in Purgatory… Angels even easier." Dean watched her for a moment. "Is that what you dream about?" She nodded. "I'm fine, by the way."

"You heal fast?" She came toward him to look for herself.

"Yeah."

She ran her fingers through the hole in his shirt, the skin was barely rippled with a scar. "We do, too but I don't know if I do that now."

"I don't know." Dean shrugged. "We don't know a lot about your kind. You are the most information we have… anything you know."

"I'm never going to be normal … am I?"

"No. I never was." He made a face. "Claire looked normal but she never felt normal. All her friends were pretty and dressed pretty and tried harder to look prettier and that was it. She wanted to be useful and she went places where she could do good."

"She is pretty."

"Yeah but she's more than pretty. She's… one of the calmest people I know. I met her before I knew that there… people inside some of the monsters. Since then… and since we first met… I've become the monster." Dean rolled up his sleeve. "This makes me do things. It lets me heal fast, it lets me be strong and fast and hard to hurt… but it's hungry to hurt, hungry to kill. It doesn't care if I kill monsters or people or angels… it just wants destruction. I try to make sure that the people I hurt are the kind that would hurt other people."

Emma sat on her heels and stared at her hands for a long time. "When we first met… I thought I could do it. I thought I could kill you."

"You had enough chances to."

"So did you." She sniffed. "I felt stronger before. I feel… weak now. Unsteady. Unprotected."

"Human."

"They taught us about the great wars a long time ago. We had men in our tribe. We were almost equals. A large faction of our men were taken as slaves, their bows stripped and made to keep peace in the most depraved cities. It was up to us to keep our tribe alive. We fought the wars. We won the wars. Then the Romans came. Some of us hid and some of us kept moving."

"When did the pact with Harmonia come into play?"

"I don't know exactly but our numbers were dwindling… Amazons who weren't leading wanted glory would run off and join campaigns and win battles… and sometimes try to come back and take us over. Only those loyal to the tribe took the oath and swore to pay the tribute." She looked up at him. "Maybe that's why I came back this way… because I didn't pay the tribute."

"Well, do you want to be an Amazon or normal or a hunter?" He took her hand and looked over the scar that appeared to be healing on her wrist. "I'm not easily killed these days."

"Do I have to decide today?"

"No… but if you wait too long… it'll decide itself."

* * *

John walked through the house, glass of whiskey in his hand. Adam was on the phone with a hunter discussing zombie solutions. An air mattress with a view of the TV was waiting with a blanket and a pillow nearby. Sam sat in another room on an air mattress, typing and reading and emailing. Dean and Emma were in Erica's room, stretched on out her bed. Dean telling Emma about growing up in a normal family and then switching to hunting. Emma telling what she remembered of the house she shared with her mother for two days and then training with the Amazon. Then he found Erica asleep in the middle of Claire's bed while Claire counted out bills and rolled them up.

"House is locked up but everyone is still awake and doing their own thing." John leaned in the doorway. "What's that?"

"I got fired for failure to show up." Claire shrugged. "Just seeing what my reserves are. I own the house but taxes and utilities… groceries for seven people… nine really cause I always have food when Lisa and Ben show up. Do Angels eat?"

"I didn't get all the details but the answer appears to be no." John shrugged. "Want me to take her to her bed?"

"She's fine. Dean and Emma need some private family time anyway." She closed the nightstand drawer and saw the look on his face. "I'm not kicking you out of bed but I'm not kicking out my daughter either."

"Understood."

"I never thought I'd do the suburban mom again, be a teacher again and it only lasted a few years. But… enough years that… she doesn't fit in… anywhere."

"Let her be a little girl… as long as she's able."

"I'm trying. It's… how did you know?"

"Dean… I… uh… kept him in the middle of it most of his life. I talked to him about it… of course he wasn't talking at first… I think I… uh… needed him to start talking again." John sat on the edge of the bed. "With Sam… I enlisted Dean's help in hiding it from him but… I was always scared that something already had a hold of Sam. When he left us, I wondered if I could protect him from what was coming or if he was running headlong into it."

"Well, he's a Winchester."

"Yeah. Adam's diving in head first. He's taking point on phone calls so Sam can keep researching whatever he's researching."

Claire kicked off her boots and slid back onto the bed. "Dean's… handling all this well."

"Family is important and from all accounts… Dean was clinging to the thought of family that was only his. Sam and Dean seem to be… at odds on a lot of subjects and they're… always angry at me. They love me but they… probably need therapy. I might need therapy."

"You don't strike me as the therapy type."

"Adam and I have been watching a lot of television together. All my children, myself, my dead wife, my dead… ex… es… all need therapy."

"John, you are not meant for this time. You should be in your 60s and eating hard candy while you gripe about the evil politicians."

"You vote for that fellow?"

"I don't vote. None of those guys has a platform that matters to me. They don't have a stance on Pixies or demons or possessions. This gun control thing though… making it tough for us. We could use a Caleb now more than ever."

"Nothing sexier than a woman who knows her guns."

"I'll bet you say that to all the girls."

He took a deep breath when he glanced over at Erica snoring softly, her face buried between the pillows. "Your girl is going to attract an element… You should start preparing yourself."

"I've had peek into the future, John. I'm okay with what she does."

"You see the future?"

"No, but they told me who she ends up with and… she's been campaigning for that since she was six. We're probably lucky that Emma is not actually competition. My girl can get mean."

"Her mother's a little crazy, I hear."

"Shut up." She nudged him with her foot.

"Do you remember that fight we had in… Racine?" John gripped her foot in his hand. "You thought I was actually going to bang that barmaid I was getting info out of and you… started hitting me."

"You were all over her." Claire sat up and smacked him. "I was sitting there, looking humiliated."

"Well, you stormed out, she started laughing at you and she spilled her guts. I went to take a piss and went out the backdoor. That was the plan the whole time."

"But you didn't tell me that. You had her lipstick on your collar and you were trying to get some play." She sat up and gripped his arm. "I was so jealous I couldn't see straight… you remember what we did in the truck?"

"That was the most action that truck ever saw." John shrugged. "Well, while I was alive and owned it."

"What happened to that truck?"

"You'll have to ask the boys. I had it parked at the… well, it was last in Lincoln." He sighed. "Probably got towed off. Maybe Bobby got it sold to another hunter."

"Sometimes I miss waking up with a crick in my neck, my head smashed against the window and your foot in my ass."

"When I think back on it… it always feels like… a decade but it was just a couple years." John sobered a bit.

"That bit of time when it was you and me and Dean… as rough as it was… it was the first time I felt like I had a family. Me and Sebastien was… I was still too much my parents' daughter and I was so… damned respectable all the time… but riding in the car with the two of you… I felt… so… whole." Claire turned to look at her daughter. "I didn't make that mistake with her. We play. We have fun. We have the serious talks. They're getting more and more serious all the time."

"That happens. They all get to that age where they will look you in the eye and tell you they hate you. That's okay." John shrugged. "You get them to adulthood alive and you've done your job. They can hate you all they want."

"The boys don't hate you." She ran her hand down his arm.

"You never forget the sting of the first time they say it to you." John sipped his whiskey. "Dean was 15. I hauled his drunk, puking ass out of a club. I think someone drugged him… looked like that kind of crowd. I saved him from getting robbed and possibly raped and he tells me he hates me." John took a deep breath. "That summer was fun. Weed. Acid. Meth… Then I remember sometime after his birthday we got a werewolf and he was… so focused that I basically let him run point. I was there, acting like I always did but I stayed a step behind to watch what he'd do. He had this look in his face after it was done… by spring he was trying to sell me on letting him get his GED. He ended up doing it anyway."

"You already told me this story, John."

"When?"

"Right before I took you to Caleb's barn back in '98."

John laughed. "It's a blur, darlin'."

"What about Sam?"

"That kid… I feel like he was born saying "I hate you." It's what he's always done. Hated everything about me and this child of mine downstairs… is new to me." John sipped his whiskey. "He's respectful and listens and takes care of Adam… I don't get that exactly. They didn't know each other and Sam was never one to spare Dean's feelings on anything."

"You know they were in the Cage together, right?"

"One of them mentioned that."

"We think he… shielded Adam while he was down there."

"Shielded him." John repeated. "What happens to a soul when it's been in…"

"Dean's already run this through with me. There's not a man in your family who hasn't been to Hell. All your boys, you… Dean went to Purgatory and Hell."

"It makes my head hurt. I was down there a year… I…" John shut his eyes. "The things they do to you down there."

"Come on. Let's go to bed." Claire motioned him to the bed while she got up to shed her jeans and socks. When she turned, John was trying to lift Erica so he could get her under the sheets but she clung to him like a barnacle and he just gave up and hefted her into his arms so he could climb in himself.

"Pop-pop… can we have pancakes in the morning?"

"Sure thing, Pippi." John told her as he settled in with her still clinging to his chest. He was still watching her sleeping face when Claire slid into bed next to them.

"How do you think Dean is really coping?" Claire asked when the dark had settled around them.

"He's not the one I'm worried about." John breathed out. "Sam has been… odd."

"I don't know him well."

"Me either."

* * *

Dean woke in the morning and felt the itch in his hand. His arm twitched as he got washed up. Emma followed him around and it started to really irk him. She was quiet and she really wasn't in the way but she was always right there. It was the weekend, no school and she didn't have homework. Erica followed Emma everywhere. Adam tackled her off early so she could explain some pop culture to him. His dad and Claire were working on some sigils. Sam was buried deep in research. Dean needed to kill something.

Around noon, Claire got all the kids to the table to eat. Dean bolted. He found himself at Lisa's. She was sweaty from a session. Ben was gone out with friends. That was how Dean found himself naked and sweaty in her living room. She brought him tea once they were cleaned up a bit. They just sat in silence, drinking ice cold tea and catching their breath. Dean always felt good when he was with her until he started to feel guilty about all the memories he'd stolen from her. He looked at her. She looked back. "You want to watch a movie?"

"I don't really want to go out." She shook her head. "Morning sickness creeps up on me."

"We could watch a movie here." He pointed out. "Maybe I bring Emma."

"Maybe." Lisa stared at his face. "You keep surprising me."

"Oh yeah?"

"I keep expecting you to be gone for good and then you send me a letter or show up with your kid or… suggest we get together for a movie with our kids."

"I just… don't want to mess this up."

"You look exhausted." She sat up and ran a finger under his eyes.

"Shared a bed with Emma last night. She had some nightmares… woke up with her knee in my chest and her elbow in my neck."

"Little old to be sharing a bed."

"It was a bad nightmare. She just needed to know where I was." He sighed. "But we do need our own place… and soon."

"What was it like? Where she was."

"Not too sure." Dean shrugged. "Some combination of religious zealots and militant extremists."

"Oh God." She gasped.

"Yeah. Dad bonds with hunting skills. They were working on some archery yesterday and…" Dean sighed. "She's been scared ever since. I only got away from her at lunch. Maybe she'll make some friends soon." He looked at the expression on her face. "I got no clue what I'm doing. Didn't even know I had the inkling of fatherhood in me until I was… 28."

"No?"

"I took care of my brother when we were young. I did a lot of the things my dad should have. I didn't think I wanted kids."

"What changed?"

"A woman." Dean shrugged. "She had a kid. It was real close but I wasn't his real father… and…"

"You left?"

"No. I mean… I did but… him not being my kid… hurt. Surprised the hell of out me how much I'd wanted him to be mine."

"You miss him."

"I do."

"What happened with his mom?"

"My life was too much for her. She asked me to stay away. So I did." He looked at her. "I have some unfun personality quirks."

"Doesn't everybody?"

"I guess." Dean swung her leg over both of his and gripped her foot in his hand. "But I want to be a better person."

"That feels good." She moaned and breathed out. She winced and rubbed her forehead. "I got a headache. Shit. I don't have any…"

"What do you need? I'll go pick it up."

"Tylenol." She rubbed at her forehead.

"How about I pick up the Tylenol, some dinner and you pick out a movie? I'll be back with the girls."

"Both girls?" Lisa asked.

"Well, I think Dad has been angling for some alone time with Claire."

"He doesn't seem like her type." Lisa made a sly face at him.

"Well… she's exactly his type. Younger than he normally goes but…" Dean shrugged. "He cares more about her than he'll ever say."

"Oh yeah?"

"Well, I told her once. Dad has this… recurring nightmare of my mom and sometimes… it's Claire. It used to scare the shit out of him… probably why he was such a dick when they dated before."

"You think he regretted letting her go?"

"He was a mess back then. He's kind of a mess now. He's been out of pocket for a decade, getting himself straight…" Dean shrugged. "We hadn't really seen him either."

"That's strange… I mean… the way he talks."

"He's really good at putting people at ease… and putting them on edge." Dean kissed her mouth and walked out the door. He got back to Claire's and ignored everyone looking for him. He took a shower and got dressed, comfortably. Then he joined his family in the living room.

Adam motioned behind him. "Erica and Emma have been reading some book all day. Sam's got his headphones in. He's in research mode, still. John and Claire have been kissing in corners… like teenagers. It's disgusting."

"Well, I was gonna take the girls to Lisa's for dinner and movie." Dean clapped him on the shoulder. "You want to come?"

"Hell yes."

"Emma, Erica. Get dressed." Dean called to the corner. "Let me call in the order."

Dean entered the house without knocking. He and Adam had stacks of food containers. Erica and Emma trailed after. Emma hugged Lisa immediately and then went to help with the food. Ben ignored her. He sat and glared at everyone through dinner. Lisa nudged her kid. "Dean brought you your favorite, least you can do is say thank you."

"Thanks." Ben mumbled.

"Your welcome." Dean passed him a bag of rolls.

Adam chattered with the girls and carried the conversation. Dean watched Lisa watch Ben. After dinner, they crowded into the living room to watch a movie. Lisa tried to cuddle with Dean but Ben kept glaring at them. Adam was flanked by the girls on the other couch which left Ben to the floor. After a bit, Erica joined him on the floor.

In the middle of the movie, Lisa got up, presumably to throw up. Dean watched her go and watched as she braced herself in the hallway first. After five minutes, Dean got up to check on her. He found her in the bathroom, shaking where she leaned on the sink. Her face was pale. "You sick?"

"I… need to go to the hospital." Lisa shut her eyes against a wave of nausea. "Thought I just needed to throw up but… I'm bleeding."

"Let's go." Dean helped her up. "Adam can stay and watch the kids."

Adam got up when he saw them walking to the front door. After a quick conversation, Adam was posted with a cell phone and redirecting the kids back to the movie.

Dean drove fast and carried Lisa in himself. He listened to Lisa talk to the doctor. He waited while she was examined. Nothing was moving fast enough for him. The doctor was terse and pulled Dean outside. "Is this pregnancy necessary?"

"I don't understand." Dean shook his head.

"I worry about older women having babies. Excessive nausea and breakthrough bleeding do not bode well."

"This happened during her first pregnancy." Dean shook his head. "She was stressed out and she bled a little. The doctor prescribed rest and mild exercise."

"We're in a wait and see, right now. If you had a doctor that knew what he was doing, maybe you should call him."

"You're a real waste of space, man." Dean shook his head. He sat with Lisa until she was discharged. On the way back to her house, he put in a call to Dr. Robert. "It's Dean Winchester. I could use a house call. I got money for you and I'm texting you the address."

"Who was that?" Lisa asked softly.

"An old friend. He's a doctor." Dean put his phone away. "He'll make a house call for an old friend."

"That doctor rubbed you the wrong way, too?"

"Yeah." He bit out. "Piece of shit."

It was dark when they pulled in. The lights were on in the house. Adam had Emma and Ben playing Jenga. Erica was passed out on the couch wearing one of Ben's jerseys. Adam helped get the doors. He gave a report while Dean got Lisa settled in bed. "Erica spilled soda on herself. Emma and Ben had a fight and then they called a truce. No one from Claire's has even checked up on us. Is… everything okay?"

"We're waiting and watching." Dean sneered. "I got a doctor friend coming to get us better answers."

"You want me to take the girls back?"

"Yeah." Dean nodded.

"You better just leave Erica on the couch. Emma can stay if she wants." Lisa advised.

"Might be nice to sleep in a house with no kids." Adam grinned. "Maybe I borrow your car and see if I can salvage the night?"

"Yeah. Sure." Dean handed over the keys. "Be careful with her. She's family."

"Got it." Adam squeezed Dean's shoulder. "I'll shoot the old folks a text."

"Thanks, Adam." Dean told him.

"What are brothers for?" Adam nodded and then cracked a smile. "No, seriously, what are they for? I've never had one before."

"Get out of here. Go get laid or something." Dean rolled his eyes.

Lisa got ready for bed and just sat on the edge of the bed for a long minute. "I haven't told Ben, yet."

"Emma knows. She's not going to say anything." Dean cupped her face. "I'll go down. I'll send him up."

"Thanks."

Dean started gathering things. Glass of water, a book that sat on the armchair near the window, contact book by the phone. He heard the shouting upstairs. Emma popped up beside him. They shared a look. Dean got the pull out together and had just transferred Erica onto it when Ben stormed downstairs. He stared at Dean, seething. The longer he stood there, the more annoyed Dean got. "Well, man up and get it over with."

Then all the blood rushed out of Ben's face. Ben dropped to the ground, his eyes rolling back in his head.

"Shit." Dean leapt over the couch and straightened Ben out. "Ben? Ben."

"What happened?" Emma was right there. Dean jerked her off his shoulder and continued to pat Ben's face.

Dean blew air into Ben's mouth and then he started coughing. "There we go." Dean got Ben sitting up. "You okay, champ?"

Ben jerked away from Dean and stared at him. That look. Shit. Ben scrambled away and got to his feet. He stumbled to the kitchen. Dean motioned for Emma to wait and he followed slowly. Ben was hyperventilating and pacing the kitchen, his hands up in the air, the way Dean had taught him. He laid his arms over the top of his head, then speared his hands into his hair. The kid stared at Dean while he paced and tried to scrub his brain. Then he punched Dean in the face. Dean recovered just as Ben started really throwing punches at his body. Dean let him. Ben punched and punched and punched until he was spent. Then he crashed into Dean's chest and just held on. Dean wrapped his arms around him.

"I'm so sorry." Dean murmured into his hair. "I didn't know how to undo what I did."

"Does she know?" Ben croaked out.

"No. Not yet. All of this… just happened and spiraled out of control."

"Is Emma really your daughter?" Ben sniffed.

"Yeah. She is. So, she's like your sister. Okay?"

"Okay."

"You gotta help me take care of her."

"Okay." Ben nodded and stood up. "Why'd you do it?"

"I figured I fucked up enough that you all would be better off."

"Why the change of heart?"

"Fate. It keeps throwing me back here and I was told to stop fighting it and for once… I'm listening." Dean gave Ben one last squeeze. "Go to bed. We'll talk more tomorrow." Dean gathered the rest of the things Lisa needed and got back to her side. She was still awake. She stared at him.

"Ben and I had words." Dean told her. "We're fine."

She pointed to his eye. "And that?"

"I deserved that."

Lisa started to get up but Dean soothed her back down. "I didn't raise him to do that."

"It's okay. It's okay." Dean climbed onto the bed with her. "We had words. He threw a few punches and now everything is okay. Erica didn't even wake up."

Lisa settled and breathed heavily for a long while. Dean fell asleep after he was sure she was asleep.

The knocking on the front door woke him up. Dean stumbled down before Ben could and the girls were, for once, sticking to the bed instead of answering the door. Dean was bowled over by Dr. Robert. "You're earlier than I thought."

"I was in the neighborhood." Dr. Robert set down a bag. "What can I do for you?"

"Pregnant lady upstairs. Doctors at the hospital are a joke." Dean rubbed at his eyes.

"Are you kidding me? I thought this was going to be interesting. I haven't looked at a pregnant woman in over 15 years."

"It is interesting." Dean took a breath. "Don't say anything when you go up and see her. She doesn't remember you."

"Okay." Dr. Robert nodded and climbed the stairs after Dean. "I'm confused, Dean, buddy. I ain't seen you in years."

"Lot of people are coming back from the dead, man." Dean knocked on the bedroom door. "Lis… my doctor friend is here."

"Dean, I haven't showered yet."

"Go wash up, we'll have a cup of coffee." Dr. Robert called through the door. "I could use one."

"You got it." Dean led the way.

"So, what's the situation?" Dr. Robert sat and waited for the coffee to drip through.

"Nausea, bleeding. Went to the ER but the doctor basically said she was too old and maybe should think about getting rid of it."

"How old we talking?"

"38."

"Well, she healthy?"

"Teaches yoga. Last night doc just said we had to wait and see."

"Usually that's not good news."

"I know."

"So, why call me? Look of this house, you can afford a good doctor."

"Because… you've seen her before."

"What?"

"Hey Dean… Mom said she's… almost ready." Ben came yawning into the kitchen. "Mmm… Coffee."

"Pour us some." Dean called over.

"Yeah." Ben poured out three mugs and promptly put his head on the table.

"The girls will want some cereal. Show them where to get it." Dean ruffled Ben's hair and nodded for Dr. Robert to go on up. Dean sipped his coffee and waited. The girls wandered in for cereal but Erica did the showing around. Ben kept his hand around his cup, his head on the table and let Dean continue to play with his hair. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Still… dealing."

"Okay."

A bit later, Dr. Robert came down alone and motioned Dean outside. Dean gave him his money and waited. Dr. Robert breathed heavily. "She'll be fine. Same thing as the last time. Rest but not too much. She… really doesn't remember me."

"No. She doesn't."

"I've been to hell and back so… um… I'm a bit familiar with the memory things." Dr. Robert looked Dean over. "I seen you that time, too… looking just like you are now."

"It was me."

"Feel bad now that I set your dad on your ass."

"We survived and hey. That kid in there, the one asleep on the table… That's the baby from the last time."

"Well, he's grown up well." Dr. Robert gathered his things as he continued to sip his coffee. "She's healthy enough, shouldn't have much trouble with that baby. Get her on the vitamins. Might want to look at the rest a bit harder than the last time, though."

"Yeah. Okay."

"Kid looks just like you, by the way."

"Thanks." Dean sighed. "I think we're all too old for this shit."

"Love that movie." He looked around. "You have my number. Give me a call, maybe I can recommend an obstetrician."

"Maybe."

Dean jogged upstairs. Lisa was laying with her eyes closed. "I don't like him."

"No one much does." Dean sat on the end of the bed. "Stressed the bed rest."

"I have clients."

"Reschedule… unless… no. reschedule." Dean cleared his throat. "I got Ben and his baseball and school. I can ask Claire to help me make sure we're cleaning right."

"I'm fine."

"Okay but I'll still… hover."

Claire woke to a silent house and a hairy bear of a man on top of her. First she tried rubbing his arms, then his back, then his ribs. Nothing. "John…" Ran her nails down the small of his back and scratched his ass for a moment. That got him nearly to consciousness. "John. Come on. Let me up."

"Too early."

"It is daylight, sir. I am thirsty and hungry and I need to pee."

"Fine." He rolled off her but didn't open his eyes.

"You're so lazy lately." Claire got up to get cleaned up and find her daughter. Adam had a mess of waffles cooling while he dug into a stack himself. Couldn't blame him. Her kid hated waffles. A call over to Lisa's had her jogging over to see for herself. She found Dean with his coffee cup in the kitchen. "Why didn't you call me?"

"I thought Adam relayed the message."

"Just that Erica fell asleep and the whole lot of you were sleeping over. What happened?"

"What happened the last time. Dr. Robert has been and gone already. ER was a bust."

"Dean…"

"Ben remembered… Lisa still doesn't." He motioned over his shoulder. The kids were outside teaching basketball to Emma. "She's upstairs resting."

"I'm going up." Claire raced upstairs. She found Lisa staring out the window at the kids. "You okay?"

"Fine." Lisa slid down in her chair a bit. "Maybe I shouldn't have it."

"Maybe but that's up to you."

"This happened with Ben but… I can't remember too much about it. I just know it did." She rubbed her forehead. "Headache, can't shake it and Dean is being infuriatingly helpful."

"He's… well… making up for things you still don't know about." Claire sat on the edge of the bed.

"Ben and Dean got into a fight last night. Ben punched him. I haven't talked to Ben about it yet. Dean said he was fine but I don't want that in my house."

"It'll be fine." Claire tried to reassure her.

"That's when my headache started."

"Goodness. You taken anything?"

"Just what the hospital gave me. I need to eat."

"Come on. I'll make you something."

John found coffee and Adam when he finally emerged from Claire's room. The house was messy and it wasn't like Claire to leave it like that. Adam motioned. "Claire went to Lisa's. Pretty much everyone is over there except you, me and Sam but I don't know where Sam is."

"I'm here." Sam walked in the back door. "Just trying to figure out why we're all here if it's not just because Dean knocked up Lisa… again."

"No joy?"

"No joy. I'm a little bit concerned that Castiel's memory blocks aren't working anymore."

"They aren't?" John frowned.

"Means that everyone's memory will come back and we all have memories that we'd rather not have."

"So… what I remember… that's not even the worst?" Adam asked.

"Hardly." Sam shook his head. "I remembered and it put me out for days. Still have nightmares."

"You remembering something?" John asked.

"Something. Not sure what it is yet."

Lisa sipped tea and ate a grilled cheese while Claire cleaned the kitchen. Dean and Emma played against Ben and Erica outside. Erica cheated by tackling Dean whenever possible. He frequently ended up on the bottom of a dogpile. Claire kept cleaning up the breakfast mess.

"What are you singing?" Lisa sighed heavily.

"Am I singing?"

"I know it… or pieces of it."

"Just a song John hums when he's deep in thought." Claire stopped the humming she didn't know she was doing.

Lisa made a noise in her throat. "Dean hums that. Sometimes, when he's trying to… calm himself down."

"Oh?"

"When he comes over, he's humming it. He stops when we… after we… you know." Lisa gave Claire a shrug. "He was humming it before we went to bed last night. He was agitated."

"He's worried."

"I know. I barely know him. I don't know what kind of man he is."

"Yeah, you do. He tries at least to be good." Claire sat and looked at her. "When we were gone, he did nothing but worry about you."

"OH!" Lisa gasped as she watched Ben accidentally whack Emma across the face while trying to block her from taking the ball. Emma went flying. Dean shot over to make sure she was alright and then he had Ben by the back of the shirt as he marched him across the yard. Lisa started to get up from the table but she watched as Dean took Ben by both shoulders and looked him in the eye.

Ben clung to Dean's arms. He nodded furiously and then Dean straightened and Ben looked torn until Dean gripped him by the back of the neck before hugging him. Lisa's world fell away as she watched Dean and her son. The pain in her head intensified and then it all came flooding back to her. She was full of rage for a full minute before she turned to Claire.

Claire.

"How long have you known Dean exactly?"

"'04 or thereabouts. Maybe not til '05. We fell out of contact for a long while."

"We met a few years ago. You and me."

"Yeah."

"You moved here because you needed to settle down."

"Right."

"Did he send you?" Lisa set down her cup of tea.

"What?" Claire tried to look into Lisa's face but Lisa was staring at her tea.

"Did Dean send you here?"

"Lisa…"

The tears slipped out of her eyes. "Get out. Take him with you."

"Oh my god."

* * *

TBC


	24. Chapter 23 - Know nothing about teenager

Chapter 23 – I know nothing about teenage girls

* * *

Dean walked with the girls in a daze. Claire urged him on home. Dean sat in the living room with his head in his hands. The scratches from when Lisa slapped him were already gone. Claire had to pull Ben out of the doorway so that Dean could leave. The girls had scuttled past, confused. Claire was the last to leave. Lisa's eyes were full of tears and she looked like she was falling apart. Dean looked like he was falling apart.

Then he got up and walked out the door. Emma latched onto John after that. "Lisa's sick. Dean said it was the baby. Then we were all outside playing and Lisa got upset. Told us all to leave. Dean tried to talk to her and she started hitting him. Then they got real quiet and we left."

"He'll be okay." John looked her over.

"If that's what love is, I don't ever want it."

John laughed in his throat and didn't let it out. He watched Erica listlessly flip through a book she'd been reading with Emma. Sam started loading up the car. Dean had taken off on foot and Sam needed to get back to the bunker. Adam hovered. Sam started making plans. "I have more books there. Things that haven't been scanned into the network. Dad…"

"Yeah?" John looked up.

"I need to get there. Adam can bring Dean his car back… there are other cars there… but… I'm not sure which ones Dean has worked on, which ones are ready to roll."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, they were all sitting there since the Men of Letters disbanded, sometime after Henry died. They're all older than you. We've lived there the last few years but… we hadn't known about the garage that long. So… Dean doesn't let me work on the cars without him."

"Yeah, sure." John nodded.

Sam looked at his watch. "I don't want to leave without Dean knowing what's going on."

"He got his cell on him?"

"Maybe. When he's like this… sometimes it's better not to interrupt." Sam worried at his lip. "I hate to admit it. She was keeping him calm. This… is… bad."

"How bad?"

"If he doesn't find some demons to take it out on?" Sam breathed out. "Some innocent people could die… or at least… people. I mean… Dean has a knack for finding bad people. They still don't deserve what he does to them."

"You said she was keeping him calm." John pressed. "How's that work?"

"The mark. Cain was married for years, didn't hurt anyone. Didn't kill. He made it work. But they had decades before she was killed. Dean… doesn't have that kind of control yet and he doesn't want to take the route Cain did. Cain spent centuries training the Knights of Hell before he got tired of it and went off on his own and who knows how long before he found his wife."

"Blows my mind every time you say it." John sighed. "Can't believe you boys let it get this deep."

"It was this or… let the world end. Sometimes… I think we should have let it."

* * *

Dean had blood on his hands. Serial killer. Child killer. No one who would be missed. He scrubbed off in a nearby pond. He tossed his bloody shirt in a barrel that was on fire in the camp ground. Homeless folks didn't even blink at him. One offered him a thin shirt. Dean took it. Dean stayed by the fire while his blood cooled. The old man spoke. "No one will find him for a long time."

"You saw that?" Dean stared at the flames.

"Heard it. Some kids were here before. They're not here now. Maybe now it's safe for kids to be here again."

"Maybe." Dean felt the mark crying out. Gripping his arm, he stumbled off. Every time he blinked, he saw death and blood and destruction. Dean bit his tongue every time he wanted to call out for Castiel or Henri. When his cell went off, he silenced it. He walked around Battle Creek and for the hundredth time, wondered why he had picked that place to stash his family when the shit was going down. Battle Creek. Near midnight, Dean sat on a bench, in the dark and listened to his messages.

"Dean, are you coming back? Are you safe?" Claire.

"Dean, I need to get to the bunker. I can't find any reason to keep hanging around here." Sam getting antsy.

"Dean. I'm taking Dad and Adam to the bunker. Emma is staying with Claire. Dad's going to fix me up a car. Adam will bring the Impala back to you, tomorrow, I think. Adam doesn't know if he wants to be in the bunker yet. We'll see when he sees it. He's still scared of me. If he comes back… well, I guess it's up to us to take care of him. Dad's thinking with his little brain just now… but he's going with us and I don't know how Dad is going to take what he sees at the bunker… you know… after what we told him about Henry." Sam being a girl.

"Dean… we're leaving. Don't forget about Emma. Please. I know what I said but… Dad's right. She's just a little girl." Sam. Leaving.

* * *

Claire ran the vacuum cleaner for an hour after the Winchesters left and thought about renting a shampooer. She piled bedding in corners and stacked books on end tables. Her house was starting to look like Bobby's. She let herself smile at the memory of that old codger and thought about getting a dog. John hadn't wanted to go. She saw what she was to him. A lifeline. She wasn't sure she was ready to be his lifeline even if technically, it was her turn. By midnight, she had her house sanitized and a ton of laundry stockpiled for the next day's chores. She found one of John's shirts and slipped into it before sitting down to a glass of his whiskey.

Waiting for Lisa to call had prompted the cleaning spree. She'd become addicted to having a friend. In her whole life, she'd never had a girlfriend like Lisa. She depended on her presence in her life. On knowing she had someone if she needed something and would be called upon if that someone needed something. She passed out in her bed and missed John's warmth as she sank into oblivion. Morning came too soon but she got the girls up and off to school. She hit the grocery store and was barely surprised to find Dean eating cereal in her kitchen and chasing it with whiskey. "She hasn't called you either?"

"No." She shook her head.

"She remembered." Dean said simply. "But not everything. She hasn't remembered our time in the warmest winter ever of Nebraska."

"I figured." Claire nodded. "I got an order in for a set of bunk beds. Not a whole lot of room in Erica's room but with bunk beds…"

"Thanks." Dean nodded. "I was gonna get a place but… I think about how we were raised and I wouldn't want her to get stuck in a place and I… disappear and can't…"

"You can stay here." Claire told him. "Emma can stay here… even if you aren't here."

"I hate to do that to you because… she's my responsibility."

"It's okay to have help." Claire tried to reassure him. "Took me moving here to see that. Lisa and I lean on each other."

"There's a sheriff we know in Sioux Falls. She's helped on hunts from time to time… I keep sending her teenage girls to help and..."

"I need her number. If she's dealing with hunting and teenage girls, I'll need her advice in a few years."

Dean laughed. "She's pretty amazing. Good cook. Good sense of humor."

"Wow. Dean stamp of approval."

They sat and Dean finished his cereal while she put away the groceries. Then they had a glass of whiskey together before it was time to pick up the girls. Dean saw Lisa in her car picking up Ben. Ben waved as they drove passed. Emma jumped into the car. "Ben asked a lot of questions and I didn't have any of the answers. I'm really glad he's talking to me again but I don't know what to tell him half the time and he was super pissed that you had me training when he wasn't even allowed to look at your guns."

"It was a different time." Dean sighed. "He's okay?"

"Says his mom is really upset. She doesn't want to see you."

"Yeah." Dean nodded.

"Honey, Dad's got a headache." Claire turned and touched Emma's knee. "How was school?"

"It was good. Teachers think I'm weird. I out-historied the history teacher. He gave me a D."

Dean chuckled and turned around. "I did that in Latin, once."

* * *

Dean and Claire put the bunk beds together. The girls fought for the top bunk. Emma won. Dean gave her a high five when Claire wasn't looking. They went running together in the morning before she had to get ready for school. Dean had her do some drills with him. It was good to get a routine. He took over school pick up to glean any information he could. The kids had figured it out and Ben started sending messages through Emma.

"He said she cries a lot. Anytime he mentions you, she gets angry. He doesn't tell her that he talks to me anymore. She just cries." Emma informed him. Erica seethed in the backseat. "She's keeping the baby, though. He did say that."

"Thanks." Dean sighed and watched as Ben got into the car on the other side of the parking lot.

He took the girls for ice cream. Then he let them loose at the park. He watched from the edge of the playground as Erica showed Emma all the things kids normally learn on the playground. Ben and his friends showed up to get a game of football going. Ben introduced her around and kept her firmly on his side. Dean let him do it. Erica sat next to him and pouted while Emma's shy smile became more natural. More like a Winchester smile. Dean got up and put Erica up on his shoulders. They found a tree to climb.

When Dean was crouched on a high branch, he realized he'd stopped feeling the aches and pains of his age. He knew he wasn't getting younger but the mark… the Mark healed everything. Erica giggled as she climbed even higher. Dean warned her not to go too high but all he got was a giggle in response. Then his phone went off. Straddling his branch, he answered it. "Yeah?"

"Where are you?" Claire huffed.

"At the park with the girls."

"Girls. Plural?"

"Well, Emma went off with Ben and his friends. Erica and I are still playing."

"That's what I thought. Lisa went to pick up Ben. Emma's panicking because she can't find you."

"Okay. We're coming." Dean put his phone away. "Erica! Come on. We left Emma alone. Let's go get her."

"She's too scared."

"I know. She'll get better." Dean waited until Erica was back near him before he began his descent. Erica on his back they made their way to the parking lot. Lisa was pacing with her hands in her pockets. Ben had his arm around Emma's shoulders. Emma was talking rapidly, her hands wringing around, babbling.

Dean barely cleared the grass before Emma was smashed against his chest. Erica slid down and ran to hug Lisa. Lisa's anger lessened a bit for the moment. Emma's breath hitched. "I thought you left me."

"Sorry. Wanted to let you hang out with your friends for a bit. We were climbing a tree." Dean gave her his keys. Emma took Erica to unlock the car. Ben waved to Dean and then it was just the two of them in the parking lot. "Lis…"

"Where did she come from?" Lisa's arms crossed. "I mean… I'm sure there was a story you told me and then the real story."

"After you and me… after we… I… uh… slept with the wrong woman."

"How many kids you have from your misspent youth?"

"Two." Dean stared at her. She didn't know. "Just two."

"You got Emma and who else?" She cleared her throat against a lump stuck there.

"Emma and Ben. That's it."

She rolled her eyes. She shook her head and wiped at her eyes. "How could you do it, Dean? Just… wipe our memories… and if you were going to do that… why did you come back?"

"It's a long story and it… I didn't plan this." Dean took a step toward her. "When I realized where we were... Where Claire still was… I tried to stay away." He gripped his arm, the mark doing what it always did when Lisa was around, making him hunger for her. "I've learned a lot about you and me in the last few months. Things neither of us knew when I showed up for Ben's birthday all those years ago."

"Like what?"

"That you don't actually remember who his father is. It's not some barback… that's just a story you tell. You lied about the blood test because you were scared."

Lisa took a breath, looked away. "I was going through a rough time. Don't…"

"I'm not. I'm not accusing… just laying out what I know." Dean held his hands up. "But I do know what happened to you back then and I'm sorry."

"How could you know? You left and you never called and I… I don't remember a lot."

"I was there. Lisa… I just… you don't have to forgive me but I want to tell you everything."

Then she found her rage again. It gave her a firm footing once more. "How could you stand there and promise to be there for a baby when you've never stuck around for anything before?"

"I want to try."

"You made this decision for me."

"No… I went away to let you make it for yourself."

"I didn't have all the information."

"You have most of it now. You still want the baby?" Dean gripped his arm tighter. "If… you want to change your mind, you still can."

"That's not fair." Lisa's lip trembled. "You say that Ben is yours. He's one of your children… but you threw him away."

"I didn't." Dean barked and recovered. He stepped back. "I kept him safe. From me. I almost hurt him in ways that you still don't know about and I… You were hurting. I was hurting. I just wanted… one of us… to stop hurting."

"Glad you got what you wanted."

"I've… been hemorrhaging this whole time. I saw you again and… even my dad could tell I was still… thrown by you. He offered to go with you guys to dinner that night and I didn't let him. I didn't want to be a coward. I wanted to see how you were doing and I let myself get too close. Then once… once I got back… I couldn't stay away. I… love you. I love Ben and… everything is fucked up." Dean nodded.

"Why did you come here?"

"It was a bad hunt and I don't remember what it was. No one does. Castiel sent us here. To Claire because she made this a safe place for you. I sent her to you to make sure you were safe and… and she stayed because… she liked you. She's never had friends and Erica has never had friends. Then she met you and Ben and she wanted to stay."

"You sent her here?" Lisa gasped for air. "You sent me… a friend? To watch me? To make sure I didn't fall in love again?"

"NO." Dean pleaded. "Just to make sure you were safe. No one knows about her. No demons that matter. No monsters are coming for her because… that's how we met. A monster took us both and we killed those monsters together. It was the one thing that each of us knew about each other that no one else but my dad knew."

"Emma says she's scared her mother will find her. Is that real?"

"Yes."

"Who is her mother?"

"A monster." Dean shrugged. "Emma's not a monster. Not anymore."

"Adam?"

"By product of my dad's lifestyle. He's safe."

"Is any Winchester safe?"

* * *

Claire went to Lisa's house with a bottle of wine and a couple of steaks. She could hear Ben's music pounding from upstairs. Lisa let her in. They put the wine away for another time. It was the gesture that counted. Claire cooked the steaks and made sides while Lisa cried and talked and retold her history with Dean. Claire held her while she sobbed. Then, they were eating and Claire offered what she could.

"There're still things you don't remember."

"How would you know?"

"Time travel." Claire stated simply. "It was dirty trick played on Dean but we went back because you were in trouble xand we kept you safe until it was nearly time for Ben to be born. Dean and I kept you safe."

Lisa blinked at Claire. "I don't remember a whole lot of that year. My dad died. I went on a few ill-advised dates. I met Dean. I remember… going to the doctor to make sure I read that damned pee stick right… and then it's all blur until I came home. From where, I'm not sure. I had… appointments for apartments. I had cash, like I'd been working my tail off. I was… ready to come home. I know that." Lisa shook her head.

"We were there. Helping you all that time. You were… in some danger but… we kept you safe and Dean… you spent a lot of time trying to convince Dean that he wasn't a bad person."

* * *

Dean took his car keys back when his father and Adam returned with the Impala and Dorothy's motorcycle. Adam was grinning from ear to ear. Dean laughed. "You'd better not get a scratch on that bike. The owner is still alive."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah." Dean snorted. He nodded to his father. "Claire's at Lisa's."

"Okay." John hugged the girls when they came to the door.

"She remembered… most everything." Dean shrugged.

"Okay." John nodded.

"Pizza?" Emma asked.

"Fine." Dean nodded. "Claire took the steaks to Lisa's."

"Yes." Emma did a little dance that John grinned at. "What?"

"You just reminded me of Dean just then."

They all settled in to wait for the pizza. The girls played a board game with Adam. Adam kept glancing at the motorcycle outside. Dean drank but tried not to give in to the temptation to drink everything in the house. After a slice of pizza, John went for a walk.

He ended up at Lisa's house and found Ben dribbling a ball in the front drive. After a few words, they went inside so Lisa knew that Ben was going to Claire's for pizza. John looked them over. "Everything okay in here?"

"Yeah." Claire nodded. Ice cream and cookies out on the table. "Welcome back, John."

"You coming home tonight?" Hands in pockets.

"Maybe." Claire gave him a small smile. "You can sleep alone, you know."

"I'd really rather not."

"You're awful, you know that?"

He hitched up a shoulder. "I haven't seen you in days. I drove behind Adam the whole way here."

"What did he bring with him?"

"A motorcycle. I'm about to have a heart attack."

"Go home. I'll see you later." Claire threw a cookie at him. "And don't eat all my twinkies."

"Gimme some sugar to hold me over."

"Incorrigible." Claire stood and kissed his mouth. "Now, go. You've got to help Dean wrangle all those kids."

"I'm the Grandpa. I don't got to do shit."

Claire kissed him once more. "Go. Make sure my kid is not corrupting the other children."

"Pippi and I always have a good time and we have an understanding about who is in charge." John stole another kiss then turned to face Lisa. "Anything you need, you let me know. I can only be accountable to things he did until '97. Anything after that was his own damn fault."

"Have we met before?" Lisa asked him.

"I won't say no because I've been told that I don't remember everyone I've met." John leaned in the doorway. "Last pregnant yoga instructor I met was back in '98. I don't remember much about her. She was at a friend of mine's place in Nebraska. That's where I learned the spaghetti sauce joke."

Lisa stared at him and then she fell out of her chair. Claire rushed around to her side while she dialed Dr. Robert on her cell.

* * *

Dean wrestled with Ben. Adam laughed. Then he stared at them. "Jeez. He looks just like you."

"I wish." Ben muttered.

"Nah. He's a good looking kid. He'll grow into his face." Dean kissed the top of Ben's head.

"There's a girl in my chemistry class that really likes you." Emma told him. "Anna."

"Really?" Ben sat on his heels. "She ignores me."

"She's really shy. Shier than me."

"See, you got a wingman right there." Dean nodded to Emma. "Nice. How about you? Any of Ben's friends catch your eye?"

"NO." She said too forcefully. Dean winked at her and she crossed her arms.

Erica stormed up to her room. Adam sighed and went up after her. Then Dean took Ben out to look at the motorcycle. Ben sat on it and fiddled with the knobs. Dean cleared his throat. "I met the owner once. She's a badass."

"Yeah?"

"Dorothy Baum. You know. Wizard of Oz."

"She's real?"

"Real and kicking ass in Oz right now. Other dimension. Not a fun place until recently."

"I missed you."

"I missed you, too… but I'm glad you were safe these last years. It's been really dangerous for me."

"Mom's really mad."

"I know."

"I've never seen her get this upset over anyone."

"Well, there's that."

"Dean!" Adam called from the house. "You better get over there. Something's wrong with Lisa!"

Dean and Ben ran. Lisa was just coming to. Dean pushed his father away. "She's going to be fine. This happened to Ben when he remembered."

Lisa tried to pick up her head but her limbs wouldn't cooperate. Dean shushed her and told her not to move. Claire brought some water. Dean helped Lisa to sip it. Dr. Robert arrived 10 minutes later, got the run down and got her off the floor. Dean carried her up to her room and Dr. Robert followed.

Dean sat at the bottom of the stairs with Ben. John and Claire hovered and kept glancing up the stairs. Ben looked to Dean. "You didn't get a doctor when I remembered."

"You came right out of it and you aren't pregnant." Dean rubbed his shoulders. "These memories you got back. They weren't that old. The ones she just got back… are older than you."

"How do you know?"

"I just do." Dean sighed. "She'll be okay, champ."

"Well…" Dr. Robert jogged down the stairs. "She's healthy as far as I can tell. These memory blocks are failing left and right these days. The older ones are taking a toll, seizures and what not but for the most part, folks are okay."

"All memory blocks?" Dean frowned as he stood.

"I never even suspected I had one but with all the life and death things I deal with…it was a gentle break." Dr. Robert paused near Dean. Dean snorted and handed over some cash. "She wants to see her kid and her baby's father."

"Thanks." Dean paused for a moment. "Dad's got an old block. Really old. Older than me. He hasn't broke it yet."

"Maybe he won't but I'll look him over."

Lisa was shaking when Dean and Ben found her. She looked at Dean. "All those years… I couldn't remember, no matter how hard I tried. And it was you. The whole time. It was you."

"I just found out." Dean stayed near the door. "I swear it."

"Mom?" Ben hovered between the two of them.

"I remembered everything. I didn't remember before. I told you I did a lot of dumb things when I was a kid, before I had you. I always thought the worst came after I made you and I was afraid for a while that I was going to make you born sick."

"You told me this already."

"I remembered, Ben. I remembered everything. I was safe that whole time. I was. I was in danger. They sent demons for me because you were already inside me." Lisa ran her hands through her hair. "But Dean was there and Claire… but… they were old like they are now. That's where they went when we thought they were gone to talk to Emma's mom."

"Why would they send demons after my mom?" Ben looked to Dean.

"To stop you from being born." Dean nodded.

"Why?"

"Because… a long time from now… your son is going to kill a demon. THE demon who runs hell." Dean shrugged. "Or daughter. I'm not so sure of anything anymore."

"But…" Ben took a breath.

"The exact phrasing was my grandchild would be the one to do it." Dean looked to Lisa. "Lisa and I make you, you and some lucky girl make a demon slayer."

"Wait, what?"

"I didn't remember."

"An Angel made her forget." Dean told him. "I never knew until I went back to save her. Save you."

Ben stared at Dean for a long time. Then he started shaking his head. Lisa pulled him down to sit next to her. "We didn't know. We didn't."

"How could you leave us?" Ben stared at Dean. "How could you not tell me the second you knew?"

"Ben…"

"You knew… I told you how I felt." Ben yelled at Dean.

"Well, I'm the shithole. I'm the one you've been mad at all this time." Dean nodded.

"I never told anyone."

"I know." Dean nodded, his hand on his arm. The Mark telling him to kill but Dean telling it to go to hell. "I'm sorry isn't enough. The people I've hurt… people I love… and now I have this… thing on my arm. This thing that I am and I'm not good enough to be with people no matter how much I want it."

"Dean…" Lisa stared at him.

"I have the Mark of Cain." Dean told them. He shrugged out of his jacket to show them the mark. "That Cain. I willingly took it and I've been trying to find a way to get rid of it but… when we started getting close… my memories get fuzzy. I don't remember what we found but since then… a lot of my dead relatives started showing up. Emma was dead. Sam killed her. She was trying to kill me. She was only two days old… she was only doing what they told her to do. I got the mark after that."

"What does it do?" Lisa asked softly. "I remember a couple nights… back then… you… came back…"

"I kill. The mark wants destruction and I try to keep it to demons or really, really fucking bad people." Dean looked to her. "I do it less when I'm with you."

"It's dangerous, though."

"Yes… but mostly, demons aren't stupid enough to intentionally fuck with me."

"So, Emma is really my sister."

"Half-sister, yes." Dean nodded.

"And Sam is my uncle."

"And Adam and you have a grandfather. Though it looks like he likes to be called Pop-pop." Dean shook his head. "Dad comes back from the grave and he's got two grandkids almost full grown."

"You don't know why?" Ben asked.

"Little bit afraid to know the answer."

"I found all the trinkets Adam and Claire stashed around." Lisa cleared her throat.

"Keep them where they are. They'll keep the house safe." Dean gestured to the door. "I'm gonna take Dad home and tip Dr. Robert."

* * *

Claire set Dean's air mattress back in his corner and Adam's in his. John was looking over some pictures of Ben over the last couple of years. "He's a handsome kid."

"Yeah." Claire nodded. "You coming to bed?"

"Soon." John nodded.

"You were begging me to come home." Claire stood over him.

"Now I have a grandson I can crow about. I was keeping him secret before."

"He's not used to having a grandfather." Dean warned from his corner. "His other one died before he was conceived."

"Lisa have family?"

"A sister, brother-in-law, niece… a mother." Dean's lip curled. "Her mother hates me."

"Dean." Castiel appeared in the center of the room. "All of my memory blocks are failing."

"We know." Dean nodded.

"I don't understand. All of my blocks are gone." Castiel moved over to Dean's corner.

"Michael's are still working." Dean pointed to his father. "He still doesn't remember our trip to '78."

"Michael." Castiel sighed. "I don't feel him."

"Anyone check the cage lately?"

"That was the first thing I checked. It's intact. I can't hear anything from inside. Crowley is not helpful."

"I'll bet not."

"Sam is researching but I don't think this is territory that has ever been covered before." Castiel ripped off his tie and shoved it in his pocket.

"Have you checked on Claire and Alex?" Dean asked.

"They are fine. Sheriff Mills said you had best call her but she had more words in that sentence that were unnecessarily vulgar."

"How were the girls?"

"Fine. Claire also used vulgarities but Alex made me a cheeseburger."

"Did you eat it?" Dean asked.

"No." Castiel pulled it out of his pocket and gave it to Dean. "It's about two hours old."

"Good enough for me." Dean took it and ripped open the foil. "She's awesome."

"There's my son, eating questionable food." John took a breath and stood. "We're going to bed."

"Now, when it's just getting good." Claire rolled her eyes at him.

When they had gone, Castiel turned to Dean. "With everyone we're finding alive, do you think it's possible that your mother is among the resurrected?"

"It crossed my mind." Dean nodded but gestured. "I think the thought of her being alive is what's making him crazy."

"I can't find her. I know that when she… saved you and your brother in your old house… it's likely she…"

"Spent her soul. I know." Dean nodded. "Missouri told us that… how is Missouri?"

"Dead." Castiel confirmed. "Heaven. She spends her eternal Wednesdays making gumbo and winning at bingo. A perfect Wednesday she had when she was younger and could remember your father's smile more clearly."

"Enough." Dean waved his hand.

"She is eternally 26 and very beautiful."

"Okay." Dean shook his head. "Ellen? Jo?"

"Unaccounted for."

"Campbells?"

"Barbecue, upstairs. Archery and then brisket. Sometimes they fight. They enjoy it immensely."

Dean picked up his cell phone when Castiel stood awkwardly for a long moment and then popped away. It rang a couple times before he heard the greeting of a harried Sheriff. "Hey Jody."

"Dean Winchester. How are you doing, stranger?" Jody's voice came over the line.

"Hanging in there. Enjoying a cheeseburger made in your house."

"Castiel did stop by here today. What you got cooking?"

"I just… I'm running out of back up plans. I got a few people who could use some protecting if what's going on here goes sideways. These folks can hold their own but there's… a bunch of kids around here."

"Dean, I'm not running an orphanage."

"I'm not saying take the kids on. I'm saying… if I sent their mothers, help them get set up."

"That I can do. Who are we talking?"

"Hunter friend of mine… nearly kicked my ass when I told her about you. She'll probably give you a call if she doesn't need someplace to run to. She's got a little girl, raising her to hunt. Known her a long while. She's like family." Dean took a breath. "I uh… you remember those nights we drank together?"

"Yeah, I remember you blubbering like a girl over some woman you lost."

"She's… uh… here and I've pissed her off. She's… got a kid and one on the way. Knows about hunting but she doesn't do it."

"Okay… Dean…"

"And I got my daughter… Emma… we got all sorts of folks coming back from the grave and… well… she's learning how to be in the world."

"You have a daughter. Since when, Dean."

"Not as long a story as it should be but she's in the house and could possibly be listening to me on the phone…"

"Story for another time." Jody sighed. "When can I expect the influx?"

"Not sure but I just… wanted to give you a heads up."

"Well, how thoughtful."

"I've… been selfish most of my life and… trying to turn that around."

"You're a good person, Dean."

"But I make a lot of bad decisions."

"That's everybody, kid." She took a breath. "You really got folks coming back from the dead?"

"A half-brother, my dad…"

Jody laughed. "There's a man I want to meet."

"Okay but know from the get that he's taken."

"What do you take me for?"

"A woman with eyes. I have all the gross I can stand right now."

"Dad…" Emma appeared by the stairs. "Erica's asleep but… you have laundry?"

"Knock yourself out. Check the pockets and not by sticking your hand in, first. I have sharp pointy things everywhere." Dean nodded to his bag. "Dreams?"

Emma shrugged and took his bag. She lingered before the hallway. "Is… Lisa okay?"

"She's fine. She's just angry at me. I'm on the phone, kiddo."

"So… if I wanted to talk to her… she wouldn't mind?" Emma inched away.

"We could ask her." Dean shrugged.

"Kay."

Dean watched her go. "I know nothing about teenage girls."

"She sounds helpful. Shy. Uncertain. Where's the mother?"

"Hopefully somewhere she won't think to come looking." Dean sighed.

"I'm gonna need that short but no doubt interesting story, Dean Winchester."

* * *

TBC


	25. Chapter 24 - We should take a roadtrip

Chapter 24 – We should take a road trip

* * *

Dean dropped the girls off at school. He saw Lisa. He followed her to her class. He sat in a corner with his eyes closed until it was over. They went for tea. They just sat across from each other until they could see the bottoms of their cups. Then Dean started talking. Starting from the Vampire that bit him. The Amazons. The Leviathan. Purgatory. Benny. Kevin. Charlie.

Lisa stared into her cup. She asked questions to the cup as he talked and she had something to say. "So when you pushed my kid… our kid… you were saving his life? Saving him from you."

"Not calling was your way of giving me space?"

"You could fight those things but you couldn't let me remember? You couldn't tell me about Bobby?"

"Borox?"

"Like… Purgatory. Like in the… bible…"

"After what you almost did to Ben… you hook up with this Vampire… you bring him back here… Hm. Mm. Mmh."

"He was a kid. You were supposed to protect him. You and Sam have the most fucked up relationship and… You adopted that boy and you… Dean… When you turned all those Angels against you and you were hiding their prophet you should… well, done something different than what you did."

"I'm sorry about Charlie. I don't think I've seen you talk about anyone like that who wasn't family. Who wasn't… Sam."

Finally she picked up her head. "So, Emma… she was… two days old when she died?"

"Maybe three."

"Sam killed her."

"She was sent to kill me."

"And now she's 16…"

"Well, that's how old she looked when she died. I think Dad and Emma came back at the same time we showed up at Claire's with Adam. Dad was in a coma. I don't know where Emma was. She found Dad when he was coming back to Claire's with Erica. She was hungry, cold."

"Do you think she was telling the truth?"

"I think she wanted to be telling the truth."

"When she got here with your dad… she looked scared. All the time. I took her out but she let Erica do all the talking. That story you spun… it made sense… but the reality… why is she so scared?"

"She's scared her mother will find out she's alive again. She's scared that if we think she's going to hurt me, we'll kill her. She's scared of having another PTSD episode." Dean waved her off. "She can't kill me. She's relaxed a bit after I told her that."

"If she wanted to kill you, could she?"

"No. I can't die." Dean glanced around and then pulled his knife out. He cut into his hand and let it sit on the table between them. Within ten minutes, it was healed. He used a napkin to mop up the blood.

"What's that going to do to our baby?"

"I don't know. I don't know that it'll do anything."

"Will it have the mark? Like you?"

"No. It's… the way I got it…" Dean shook his head.

"Yeah, you said." Lisa took a deep breath. "Did you mean anything you said to me? Back then? At Caleb's. Here, before I knew…"

"Yes. I meant it. I didn't mean to do this. But I did and I want to be here."

"I don't think I could take it if we did this again and you left. Things are different now. We know more… about ourselves… about each other. Ben… was devastated when he realized that you left us and you're his dad. You're really his dad."

"I never wanted to leave him. Never." Dean felt his eyes overflowing. "I… I just didn't want to be the one to get him killed. I almost got you killed." He sniffed and looked away to blink away the wet, ignoring the streams running down his face. "I don't blame you if you don't want me here. If you don't want me around Ben…"

"You can't put this all on me. That's not fair."

"I will do anything you want. You want me here, great. You want me gone? Fine." Dean breathed and finally wiped a hand over his face. "Do I want to be here? Yes. Do I want to keep you all safe? Yes. Do I love you?" He looked at her. "I think I always did… am I dangerous? Yes. Can I control it? I don't know."

"If I tell you to go… where do you go?"

"Lebanon. Kansas… the bunker. Don't know if I'll take Emma with me. I should but that's no place for a girl to live. A child. Not one who… could still be normal… ish. She doesn't know what girls her age do. She just knows that she was trained to kill and if the Amazons find out she's still alive, they'll kill her."

"Ben likes her." Lisa sipped a glass of water. "She's his sister and he should know who she is."

"I agree."

"Well, then. We have a start… and I have a class in 20 minutes." Lisa stood and glanced around for the bathroom. Dean paid and tipped since they had spent so long tying up the table. The waitress scowled less when she saw the bill. Dean walked Lisa back to her class but left when she hesitated at the door, not giving him room to follow. Dean picked up some supplies and headed back to the house. He made a set of fake id for himself. He added labels to the cellphone collection on the living room table. Adam hovered so Dean made him a set as well. Then he taught Adam how to do it by making John three sets.

Eventually John made it downstairs. Dean just laughed at him and left to pick up the girls. Claire hopped into the car at the last minute. Dean shook his head at her. She shrugged. "If one of you boys found him some little blue pills, I'll kill you."

"I thought you loved him."

"I do love him. But I liked him better when he had a libido more befitting his age." Claire cleared her throat. "I've watched you all in the last little while."

"Yeah?"

"I know it's hard to… be expressive as a man. It's hard to show your emotions."

"What are you getting at?"

"I know that you and Emma are virtual strangers. I know that she tried to kill you. I know you both have PTSD of some sort… but you should hug the girl, some. Show her some affection."

"I do… I think."

"The way you talked about her. I thought there had been some relationship between you and now… I see that… most of it was in your head. In your grief. She's a person. She's real. She's… a little girl."

"But she's not a little girl. She's 16 or so… physically… Mentally… She's… already been trained as a killer. She's already had her childhood stolen and there's only a few years left for her to… pretend."

"She sees you with Erica and she's jealous." Claire took a breath "I'm not going to pretend to know what it was like with you and your dad when you were her age but I know it was different. I know he shows his love differently. I'm not saying you gotta be the poster family but you gotta find what works for you before she's too old to feel that you care."

Dean parked the car and sighed heavily. "It's awkward."

"I know."

"You seemed to care more about her when she was an idea than now when she's… lost. She's drifting. She's scrappling for something, anything… and she wants it from you."

"Claire!" Ben shouted as he ran across the parking lot with his baseball gear. "I have debate sign ups and I'm supposed to take my gear home but Mom's got classes all night."

"We'll take it." Dean nodded to him. Then he got out to unlock the trunk. Ben was standing there, fidgeting while Dean made sure nothing in the trunk would stab Ben's gear. Then it was just the two of them standing there. Dean quickly hugged Ben and let Ben race back inside to get to his club sign up. He was still standing beside the trunk when Emma came out, arms full of books and a boy trying to get her to let him help her. Ben shoulder-checked the boy on his way into the building. Emma laughed and kept moving. Dean took her books and tossed them in the trunk. "How was school?"

"It was okay." Emma shrugged.

"That kid bothering you?"

"Nah." Emma shook her head. "He's nice but… I've seen him around. If I give an inch, he'll expect a mile."

"I could cure him of that."

"Not worth it." She shook her head.

Dean repeated the action that he'd just done with Ben. Pulled her to him for a squeeze. "Anyone gets out of line, you just do as you were trained… well, don't… kill anyone but putting a face into the pavement doesn't really hurt a person."

She laughed and left him to get in the backseat. Dean took a moment and got back in so they could get Erica from her school. Erica was sitting on top of the swingset, dangling her legs… ignoring a teacher trying to get her down. Claire took a breath and rolled down a window. "Erica Reid!"

"Sorry!" Erica made a face before she leapt the ground to get her things and race to the car.

They drove to the gun range. The girls watched for a bit. Emma studied the guns for a long moment. Dean found one that fit her hand okay. They went over to a table and he taught her how to take it apart. How to put it back together. They went over to a stall and shot it a few times. She was a good shot. She could be great with some practice. Gun oil on their hands, they headed back. Dean stopped by Lisa's. Claire used her key. They left Ben's gear by the back door. At home, Adam and John were inhaling French fries. Dean ran over his inventory and thought about what kind of gun fit Emma's hand well.

* * *

Dean woke in the middle of the night. Erica was staring at him. "What?"

"She won't wake up."

Dean rushed up the stairs and found Emma thrashing. "Hey. Em. Hey." He lightly touched her shoulder and nearly lost an eye for his trouble. "Emma!"

The entire bunk bed shook with her movements. Dean grabbed her flailing hand and squeezed. "Emma."

She shrank back against the wall, yanking her hand back. It took a moment but her eyes started to cooperate. The panic subsided as she woke up. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. It's okay." Dean reached for her hand again. "Come on. Let's go downstairs and let Erica get back to sleep."

Dean walked with Emma downstairs. He waved off his father when he saw him checking on the ruckus. They sat at the kitchen table while Emma's heartbeat slowed down. Emma huddled close. Dean didn't ask. Emma didn't talk. Then he started humming and rocking with her. Emma sighed after a long moment. "I don't know that song."

"It's Hey Jude. By the Beatles." Dean rubbed her arm and kept humming. Her breathing slowed. "I barely remember my mother. I was so little when she died. You look like her. Probably why you got Dad on your side so quick." He hummed some more. "She never told my dad that she was a hunter. She lied to him the whole time they were married." He stroked her hair. "I only found out because… well… time travel is a bitch sometimes."

"Do you still love her? Even though she lied?"

"Yeah." Dean relaxed and realized he hadn't relaxed once since realizing Emma was among them. "I love my dad, too and he wasn't the best dad he could have been. He hit us, left us alone. He taught us to take care of ourselves and maybe he could have hugged us more or told us that we were doing a good job but… I don't think it occurred to him that people need to hear it, sometimes."

"What if I said that when I first started looking for you, I was going to kill you."

"I'd say that makes sense."

"When I woke up… I was… in the woods, alone. Bloody. I found a path and followed it. Town, I don't know where. I stole some clothes, cleaned up in a restroom at gas station. It was dark out. I didn't see the guy at first. Then he came at me. Guess he thought I was just a little girl. I killed him. Left him behind the dumpster. Took his money, bought some food and started walking. Next place I got to… Tacoma. I wanted to find my tribe but… I couldn't show up without proof. I didn't know where to start. I looked you up. Got your vitals."

"Then headed for Kansas."

"Yeah."

"When did you change your mind?"

"When I got my period in that motel. I was scared. I shouldn't have been. I'm not supposed to be scared of anything."

"Everybody and everything is scared of something." Dean shook his head. "Even the devil." Dean stared at her. "Being brave isn't the same as being fearless."

"It's not."

"Being fearless means you aren't scared of Death. There are no creatures that aren't touched by Death."

"Like you?"

"No. I'm scared but I know I can't die. I do what needs to be done even though I'm scared. I'm not sure that makes me brave but… it comes close." Dean rested his chin on her head. "Reckless is the word most people use." Dean shut his eyes and felt her small hands clenching and unclenching in his shirt. "I was gonna let you. I was so fucking tired of this life that I almost let you kill me."

The hands stilled.

"Hey Jude, don't make it bad, take a sad song and make it better." Dean sang softly. He could hear the tears in his own voice. "Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better."

He could feel her tears soaking his shirt. "Hey Jude, don't be afraid. You were made to go out and get her. The minute you let her under your skin, then you begin to make it better."

Dean grabbed the bottle of whiskey. He took a swig and then handed it to her. She hesitated for a long moment but took a swig herself, coughed. Dean capped it and finished his song. "You know, you wouldn't be a Winchester if you weren't at least a little fucked up."

"Can I sleep with you tonight?"

"Yeah, come on."

Dean shut the lights off as they went back to his air mattress. Adam was snoring on the couch. Dean rubbed Emma's back, up and down. Her breathing evened out a bit. "Will you sing it again?"

"Yeah. Relax. Everything's going to be okay." Dean sang over and over until he fell asleep. When he woke, he was cold. Emma had the blanket tucked around herself. He found himself waiting in line for the coffee. "Morning."

"Rough night?" John asked.

"Yeah." Dean could barely get his eyes open as he held his cup out.

"That's not a habit you want to start." John motioned to the living room.

"That's what I hear." Dean gulped the first scalding bit of coffee. "She's tougher than she thinks she is. She didn't say she died in Purgatory… we were there at the same time…"

"Bothers you?"

"A bit."

"What about your other kids?"

"See Ben after school sometimes. Lisa and I are… barely talking." Dean looked at his father. "What are you doing with Claire, Dad?"

"I think I gave you that talk when you were ten."

"Dad…"

"I know." John leaned on the counter and sipped his coffee. "She's the only thing that makes sense right now."

"She's… still got it bad for you and… if you hurt her again, I'll kick your ass."

"Does she?" John sighed.

"You know she does." Dean shrugged. "She's lived a decade since you last saw her. Erica's a great kid and… she's not keen on having you for a stepdad."

"No one's talking about that."

"You aren't."

"She's mad at you. Erica is."

"Why?"

"She wants you for a dad. And now you got kids everywhere and she's not one of them. She just wants me to be her grandpa."

"What am I going to do if she decides I can't be here?" Dean ran a hand over his face.

"You'll do what you can to make sure they're safe."

"Dad, can you just… be what Claire needs? Can you do that?" Dean held his hand up. "The reason you started hunting… that's gone. You… can be a person, now. Can you be… Claire's person?"

"I don't know."

"I was… Lisa's person for a year… I didn't deserve her. Still don't. I was… almost normal for a while. I miss it."

"I… never thought I'd be able to." John admitted. "I… love your mother."

"I know… but she's gone. She's… really gone." Dean took a breath. "I'm really glad she never had to see what I became. What we all became."

"Claire and I…"

"It's okay if you want to… It's okay if you don't want to… Just… don't hurt her again." Dean took his coffee back to the living room. "Come on. Emma, time to get up."

"Mmmf." She buried her face in his pillow.

"Time for school. Come on." Dean reached down and pulled the plug and her weight shot a good deal of the air out.

"Dean…" She whined.

"School." He repeated and yanked the pillow out from under her head.

* * *

Dean sat in the little office and felt like a kid again. Then he was in the room with the counselor and the paperwork. He took the list of items he was missing and didn't promise to get any of them. "Emma is a bit… odd."

Dean snorted but nodded. "Yeah. She is."

"She's very bright. She might have exceeded what we can do for her but she enjoys learning. She's… having trouble making friends. She's spending all her time with upperclassmen and I guess that's to be expected."

"Her brother. He's looking out for her."

"She has a brother at this school?" The counselor frowned and glanced down at the record.

"My dad didn't know when he enrolled her. I… uh… broke a lot of news to him the last couple of months. Benjamin Braedan."

"Oh."

"I'm not on his paperwork."

"We could um…"

"That's up to his mom." Dean shook his head. "Emma… her mom was… devout. It scared Emma. She didn't even know what her period was when she got it. I didn't think about it because I… don't make it a habit to raise children. My old man had to deal with it and he's never had to except when my mom was alive." Dean looked at the counselor. "She's stronger than she looks. She's… just… scared. Being here… it's good for her. She's getting to know Ben. She's got a couple of uncles to look out for her… My dad's girlfriend has a little girl… younger than Emma but they get along."

"Wow. So, she's having a bit of a culture shock."

"Yeah. We all are."

The counselor looked him over. "You didn't know any of this, did you?"

"Sorry?" Dean's head snapped up.

"Your world… exploded and now you have two children around the same age."

"Something like that." Dean nodded. "I'm… gonna try my best to… do right… now that I know."

"We can get counseling for Emma and Ben if he wants it… You need someone to talk to? I don't have those resources but we can ask around."

"I've got a good… support system." Dean waved her off. "My brothers, my father, his girlfriend. Lisa and I are… coming to an understanding."

"How about we… look into the resources… just in case?"

* * *

Claire emptied her pockets and did a count on her resources. She tallied her expenses and examined her house. Airbeds everywhere. Attic space that was barely liveable if she made some changes. Then she looked at the spaces. She could give up the dining room. Make that into a room. Dean would have a private entrance and his own space… then she sighed and put down her pen.

John found her with her doodles half done and with twinkie wrappers all around. He swept her hair off her shoulder and kissed her neck. She reached back and ran her hand over his stubble. "Strange how our roles changed."

"What's that?" John leaned on her chair.

"I used to keep you in bed all the time because I didn't know what else to do… and now… here we are but it's you who keeps dragging us back to bed."

"Complaining?"

"I'm out of practice." She kissed his hand and turned to look up at him. "I'm a mom, now. I need you getting along with my kid."

"We get along."

"John."

"I know."

"You can't treat my kid the way you treated your boys. You can't treat your boys the way you treated your boys."

"Adam's headed back to Kansas." John cleared his throat. "He's got a room all picked out. They've got a good setup there."

"You want to live there?"

"I want to understand… a man I hardly knew." John shrugged. "Sam's working on getting it all scanned onto that tablet thing but I do better with hard copy."

Claire smiled at him. "I'll be okay if you go. I've been alone a long time."

"I sleep easier with you."

"Passing out from physical exhaustion."

"I prefer passing out with you than punching a bag for hours on end." He motioned to the table. "What's this mess?"

"I started to restructure my house to accommodate Dean but I don't know what he wants to do."

"I don't think Dean knows what he wants to do."

"When I think about it… I just want to pack everyone up and take them to the bunker." Dean held his hands out. "But I know that won't work."

"Dean…" Lisa sipped her tea and leaned against the wall of the studio.

"I just want to keep everyone safe. I want to make sure Ben has someone to talk to about… men stuff and I got no clue what I'm doing with Emma." Dean sighed. "I know trauma. You know I do… I just… I got my dad telling me I shouldn't let her sleep with me but I think it's the only time she feels safe and… maybe I sleep better knowing she's right there."

"Are you sleeping?"

"For a few hours at a time."

"I'm not."

Dean stopped talking and almost reached for her but didn't. She sipped her tea and put a hand over her mouth for a second. Dean looked around and grabbed a trashcan. He set it down nearby. She recovered and grabbed her glass of water on the only table in the room. "You okay?"

"Morning sickness and not sleeping." She shook her head. "Then I go home and crave steak. I remember that from when I was pregnant with Ben but I wasn't so… stressed, I guess. I trusted you back then."

"Yeah I guess."

"I've been sorting through it all." She motioned to a notebook on the table. "I um… that demon that was inside me… it um… looked pretty hard through my memories to use something against you. I remember that." She looked at him. "What would it have done if it had known who Ben really was?"

"You saw what it did." Dean stared at his hands. "If… it would have hurt Ben. Killed him, probably."

"Why did I get to keep the memories of that weekend? But not those months with your friend?"

"Because I told you too much. Claire…" Dean sighed. "Castiel let you keep that because he knew I'd need you."

"Need me."

"I do." Dean nodded to his hands. "I do. I need you and… I never should have let…" He took a breath. "The danger that Sam put me in… that night that I went at Ben… fixing that took a long time and it was dangerous and… I… had to do things that I wouldn't have done if I had been with you."

"There's the whole thing. You and Sam…"

"We do things differently now. We're different people now. I… Dad's back. Adam's back. I hunt but… I got… I have tethers now. I have a life that isn't theirs. This is what I want."

"I know that Ben sees you after school." Lisa sighed. "I need rest, Dean. Tell me how I'm going to get that and pay my bills and take care of my son."

"Break's coming up. I want to take you all someplace."

* * *

Emma set the table and laughed with Ben over something one of their teachers had done. Dean served dinner. Lisa sipped water and soup. Spaghetti. It was simple enough to pull off. Lisa asked the kids about their day. Emma told a story about her counselor trying to "connect" that had ended with Emma explaining that she was raised on a commune, not under a rock. Ben burst out with the dance. "Last one before break."

"I don't know how." Emma shook her head.

"I can teach you." Ben proclaimed.

Lisa laughed and Dean sat up. "I've seen your dance moves, kid. She might be better off winging it."

"Dean." Ben whined.

"It's true. You got my dancing skills and I'm sorry." Dean slapped him on the shoulder. "Your mom can dance but she's been tired. We can do a dance jam at Claire's. I know she has moves and she might like a break from Dad."

"That's weird." Ben shrugged at him. "Does she really like him?"

"I know. It's disgusting." Dean grinned at his plate. "But they're both pretty happy."

"Mom says they dated a long time ago." Ben led.

"Dad was… obsessed with the demon who killed my mom. He was afraid it would kill Claire, too. So he left her. To keep her safe."

"That's shitty." Ben poked at his spaghetti.

"You're right and I told him as much when he did it." Dean shrugged. "I always thought she was good for him. He made up his mind and shut down the subject. Then I did the same thing… to this family. I left to keep you from getting hurt and then… put you in worse danger and then… I shut down the subject. You and your mom were off limits to anyone who knew. I'm just like him… only I took it a step farther and I took away your memories.

"Only one I haven't wronged here is Emma… but… she died and went to the one place I don't wish on anyone." Dean took a breath. "We should take a roadtrip. The four of us."

* * *

They left on Friday night after school. The kids skipped the dance. Dean packed up Lisa, Ben and Emma into the Impala with a cooler and some go-bags. Lisa remembered how to put one together. Emma had been living out of hers. There were a few roadgames. Dean pushed them to make it to the other side of Chicago before they stopped for the night. He would have rather drove straight through but Lisa had given him a look. He settled for getting a room in Rockford for the night. He'd seen the signs and just grinned at Lisa. She rolled her eyes and nodded then rolled her window down so she could get some fresh air.

Dean turned the air on and told the kids to get a hoodie if they were so damn cold. He sounded like his father. They got a double and a rollaway for the night in Rockford. They got settled while Dean picked up dinner. When he got back, Lisa was fresh from a shower and getting into bed. Dean got her some extra pillows from the office before they shut down for the night. Ben and Emma playfully fought over which terrible television show to watch. Ben took the rollaway. Emma got into bed and Dean got ready to sleep on the floor. Lisa looked at him with her eyelids drooping. "Get off the floor."

"Don't stay up too late. It's up at early-thirty for the rest of the trip." Dean warned as he got comfortable on his side of Lisa's bed. Felt Lisa's hand on his back. He had his eyes on the kids who were glued to some private eye show.

"Just go to sleep, Dean. They won't get into trouble if we go to sleep." She rubbed his arm.

Dean snapped off the light and settled himself. Rolled over to lay his hand over hers. He could hear them but he was looking at her. Her eyes closed and she rubbed her belly with the other hand. Dean wanted to but kept his hands to himself.

Dean shot up at the first scream. He scrambled out of bed and over to Emma by the second scream. By the third scream, he had her awake and resettling. Dean rocked her and hummed in the dark. "Sh. Just a dream. It's just a dream. I got you. I got you."

"I'm sorry." Emma gasped out.

"It's okay. It's okay. I got you."

* * *

Morning came too soon. Dean had a crick in his neck and his arm was asleep. He could hear Lisa throwing up. When he turned his head, he could see Ben rubbing his eyes on his cot. Lisa sank back onto her bed. "So much for early thirty."

"Yeah." Dean checked his watch and had to pull his arm out from under Emma to get at it.

"Ow." Emma complained.

"Shut up." Dean kissed her head and studied the watch. "Folks, we are looking at a seven hour drive if we do it my way or… 10 hours if we have to stop a lot. We'll probably come in at around nine given how last night went."

"Can we not eat breakfast in the car?" Lisa asked. "Or you know… any meals?"

"The smell, I'm sorry." Dean sighed and sank back. "Ben, get dressed, get the trash out of the car. Em, you get dressed and go get a deodorizer from the store on the other side of the motel. No scent. Got it?"

"Yeah." Em got up to get her bag.

"Lis… you're in charge of choosing breakfast." Dean shoved himself up. "You get out of bed, last."

"Okay." Lisa nodded and pulled her phone off the charger. She watched him move around and get them packed up. He handed items off to Ben and Em to go to the trash or into the car. Lisa got up to brush her teeth and her hair.

They all climbed into the car to get breakfast. Lisa ordered some fruit. Dean ordered an extra egg and pushed it over to her when it came. Ben showed Emma the best part of the breakfast menu. Pancakes with whipped cream.

Back in the car, Dean picked the music. Softer side of Led Zeppelin so that Lisa could doze. Dean drove but kept a hand on her foot, squeezing and massaging the ball. Ben and Emma played games together. By the time Lisa got hungry again, they were getting on each other's nerves. "Put your shoes back on, your feet smell."

"So do yours."

"Everyone's feet smell." Lisa told them. "Dean… steak."

"Got it." Dean pulled into the first local steak place he saw. He hoped Mason City could accommodate.

Emma frowned at them. Dean pulled her aside. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing… but…" She took a breath. "We do everything they want to do."

Dean nodded. "Yeah. Sorry. I just um… I'm trying to take care of Lisa and the baby. Lisa doesn't even like steak."

"Then… why?"

"Because the baby wants steak." Dean sighed. "She's a parent. She's taking care of someone who can't take care of themselves. She did the same for Ben. It's… what I'm doing. You need someone to take care of you. I have no doubt you can defend yourself but until you can sleep through the night and put food on the table yourself… you're mine to take care of."

"So, you don't even like me."

"Doesn't matter if I like you or not. I'm your father and I'm going to take care of you. It doesn't matter if you like me or not. I'll still take care of you." Dean looked at her. "Doesn't mean I don't care. Doesn't mean I don't love."

"I want a salad."

"I'm sure we can get you one. Come on. Pregnant lady trumps mouthy teenager." He kept his hands on her shoulders until they were seated. Emma found the salad she wanted then Lisa wanted that salad and a steak and a potato and then she was crying. Dean took a breath. "Okay, so… we got beer for me. Soda for the kids. Mom wants a tea, hot and a glass of ice. Kiddo number one wants chicken fried steak with mashed potatoes and a side of carrots. Kiddo number two wants a salad. Mom wants a steak and a salad. I want a steak, a salad and two baked potatoes. You bring me all the fixings but put them on the side. Got it?"

"Yeah." The waitress nodded and walked off.

Dean looked at Lisa. "You eat anything you want, don't eat anything you don't want and we'll still make Sioux Falls by sundown and we'll survive."

"You can put your potato on this side of the table so it looks like it's mine." Emma offered.

"Thank you." Lisa stroked Emma's hair. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine." Dean told her. "This is a family and we got each other's backs, right?"

"Right." Ben nodded. "My carrots are for Mom, huh."

"Yep." Dean nodded and winked at Lisa when she looked relieved. "See, we got you."

After lunch, they walked around a shopping park and that let Lisa digest her lunch and have ready access to a dozen bathrooms. Then they were back in the car for another stretch. They pulled into Sioux Falls late. Lisa was starving again. Dean took them to eat at a diner. It was open late. The kids were animated from the food coma nap they had taken from Madison City.

Lisa ordered a BLT and a piece of pie. She shared her pie with Dean while they watched Ben and Emma look over the map on the backside of their laminated menu. Dean left them to get a couple of rooms and put a call in to Jody.

"Hey Kiddo, didn't think I'd hear from you so soon."

"Yeah. I probably should have called sooner, though. I got my family with me. We're in town for a… some… well, it's Spring Break."

"Yeah, here, too. So, I got two teenagers and a bunch of laundry."

"Me, too. Tomorrow maybe?"

"Sure, we'll do a cookout, tomorrow night. I'd like to meet everyone. See Sam."

"Yeah… I didn't bring Sam."

"You didn't."

"Just Lisa and the kids."

"Oh, the new family, then."

"Yeah." Dean cleared his throat. "I think we all needed some space and… Lisa and I are trying to work some things out."

"I'm not a marriage counselor."

"I just… it needed to be the four of us doing things together before… the next kid gets here and… you know about babies and kids and… teenagers. I mean… we're doing the family vacation bit but…"

"You thought Lisa might want to talk to another mother."

"Something like that." Dean blustered. "I'm not saying talk me up but… show her… that the girls are okay even… with everything."

"Well, she'll come and she'll see. I'm not going to sell anyone."

"Okay."

"Dean, you okay?"

"Well, a 12 hour drive took two days. I've got a former Amazon with PTSD and teenaged hormones, I've got a teenage boy with daddy issues and stinky feet and I've got a pregnant woman who hates my guts and we're all trying to be a family."

"I'll see you tomorrow, kid." She laughed and hung up.

Dean took them all to the rooms. Emma looked stricken when she realized that she had a bed to herself and Dean would be in another room. Lisa took over and got the kids settled while Dean got Lisa's bags to the room they had next door. When Dean went in to say goodnight, Emma followed him outside and pleaded with him not to leave her alone. Dean tried not to snap at her. "You're not alone. Ben's in there. If you have a nightmare that wakes him up, he'll wake you up. You got this. They are just dreams."

He took her back to her bed and told them both good night. Then he was up half the night listening for a bad dream. Lisa fell asleep clutching his arm so he couldn't leave her. When Lisa woke in the morning, she stared up at him. "It's hard the first night, when you want to go to them and hug them and hold them and make it all better but they have to learn to go back to sleep on their own."

"It's not just nightmares… the things that give her those nightmares… I have them in my own head and I wasn't there nearly as long as she was."

"I know but she's… almost grown. She's not a little girl. Please don't make me say it out loud."

"Kay, got it." Dean nodded. "I should…"

"Check on her? No. Go shower and when you're done, I'll start my beauty regime and you come get me when they're all dressed and ready to go. We still need to stop by the store."

"Why?"

"How soon they forget." Lisa patted his arm. "Because it's polite to bring things to a party."

"Right. Right." Dean sighed. "Getting dressed."

Dean got hot water and remembered not to use it all. He was standing in the room in a towel and trying to find something to say to her. Lisa looked up at him. "Dean? Clothes?"

"Yeah, I'm… I just… thank you for… all this. I know it's… pretty much the last thing you want to be doing right now."

"Dean, clothes? Put them on."

Dean tilted his head at her. "Oh, I see. The visual too much? Can't keep your hands to yourself?"

She pushed passed him to the bathroom.

Dean had a bit more pep in his step as he got dressed and got the kids up and ready. Emma was mad. The kids got dressed while Dean tried to remember where the grocery store was. Emma pouted and glared. Dean took her for a walk while they waited on Lisa. "Dreams?"

"Yes."

"Did you wake up?"

"Yes."

"Did Ben?"

"No."

"And you went back to sleep?"

"Eventually."

"How?"

"I put your song on Ben's phone. He was mad the battery was drained this morning."

"Okay. We'll get you a phone of your own." Dean sighed. "You made it through the night. You'll be fine."

"You gonna leave me with Claire?"

"No." Dean shook his head. "That's not the plan. I don't… have much of one but… no." He led her back to the car. "If something happens and I have to leave, you'll be okay. I'll make sure but… I don't plan on leaving."

"I don't like being alone. Last time I was alone, I went out to kill you and I died. Then I went to Purgatory. Alone."

"Most people are alone. They live." Dean told her. "Right now… you're not alone. You got me. You got Ben. That's a family. Add in an awesome Pop-pop and two uncles. You're drowning in family." Dean spied Lisa looking for them. "And you got Lisa… even if I'm not there… I'm sure Lisa will be."

"I'm not hers."

"No, but you're mine." Dean waved to Lisa and turned to Emma. "She's mad at me right now but she agreed to come because I said it was important… for all of us. You see. She has faith. She trusts… even if she's mad."

They took the long route to the store. They stopped in for some smoothies to hold them over. Dean let Emma pick his smoothie out. It was good even if it was full of plants. Then he steered the cart while Lisa directed the course around the store. Ben took Emma to the one video game in the store and taught her to play it.

Dean watched Lisa rub the bump that was barely showing under her top. "You been to a doctor? A real one?"

"Yep. Once I got a hold of my old gyno, she recommended someone. Seems nice. We've got a due date and no doubt that this is your baby. Kid moved all over the ultrasound screen, the doctor had to do a fair bit of chasing." Lisa explained as she grabbed some steaks and a few chicken breasts. "I need to make banana pudding."

"Cookies and pudding. Got it. Bananas are over there." Dean nodded.

When Lisa was satisfied, Dean pulled out cash and he could hear Lisa breathe out softly. "You okay?"

"Fine."

She did it again when they were back in the car. She slapped a hand over her mouth and rolled down the window. Dean cleared his throat. "Just… the baby… moving… a lot."

"Ok." Dean turned the air up and moved the vents around. They pulled up to Jody's around noon and Dean unloaded the groceries. Jody ticked up an eyebrow. "What?"

"You came with food. Usually you just come to eat food." Jody took one of the bags.

"I brought my better half and she's a lot more personable than I am." Dean bopped the kids as they marched in with more bags. "Sherriff Jody Mills. This is Ben Braedan and Emma… we're going with Winchester for the moment. And this… lovely, patient and caring woman is Lisa Braedan."

"Oh, she's the…" Jody trailed off. "Nice to finally meet you all. Alex is upstairs and Claire is outside… trying to shoot her eye out."

"Dean, go start the grill. My smoothie is wearing off." Lisa motioned. "If I could commandeer your kitchen, I'm making pudding and Ben is going to teach Emma how to make my mother's salad."

"You brought a team of chefs. I got it. I like it." Jody led them all through to where she was marinating on the counters and boiling on the stove.

"His children love to eat and that makes me eat, while I'm carrying them." Lisa made a face. "I'm not 22 anymore. This one's going to change me."

"Honey, having a baby changes you. Period." Jody reached for a bottle of wine. "I'm sorry I can't share this with you."

"I do know that. There were poses I did in my seventh month with Ben that I haven't been able to do since he was born." Lisa sighed and looked around. "You have a lovely home."

"Thank you. The girls haven't managed to destroy it yet."

"How are they?" Dean cut in.

"Claire is… Claire but she's getting better… now that she and Alex are more… alike." Jody took over some of the prep as she helped to unload the bags. "Alex has classes in the fall and she's looking forward to it."

"Are they hunting?"

Jody tilted her head at Dean. "Claire does. She's more careful than she was last year. Sometimes Alex helps. To give her backup. I go over the plan before they move on it. I help if it's… too big."

"I don't want any of the kids hunting but… I might not have a choice about it." Dean cleared his throat. "Emma is a natural born hunter. Her mother… well. She got better genes on that side than she did from me."

"I don't know about that. She's the spitting image of you, Dean. Betcha she's just as smart."

"She is." Lisa nodded. "She's… she was behind when she started school but she's… outpacing everyone."

"Should I not do that?" Emma looked to Dean.

"You be smart. Fuck everyone else." Dean squeezed her shoulder.

"Good answer." Jody told him. "See. This isn't that hard."

"I can say… be smart, be brave… but then I got to handle those… eyes she gives me when she wants something… don't pretend you don't do that." Dean pointed at Emma. "You got them perfected on Pop-pop before I even got back."

"Pop-pop is easy." Emma chopped up a pile of carrots. "If I even look like I'm going to cry, he's shoving money and twinkies at me."

Dean laughed. "How much have you taken him for so far?"

"Grand." She shrugged. "I was freaked out by myself in the motel but he was triple freaked out."

"No wonder he's been hiding upstairs." Dean shook his head and took the beer when it was offered. Then he shrugged. "But Dad always loses his cool around pretty blondes. They're his kryptonite."

"How's your brother?" Jody asked.

"He's nerding it up at home. He's got Adam with him. We think Adam's Men of Letters material. Not hunting… and Dad would never forgive us if we let him."

"Ain't that always the way with the baby of the family." Jody shook her head. "I've been rolling all that stuff in my head and it blows my mind. Everyone's back…"

"Nearly everyone." Dean nodded. "If Mom's back, no one's seen her. Ellen and Jo aren't around. I think Kevin and Charlie would have called by now."

"Well, any blessing, right?" Jody looked Ben over. "God, this kid looks just like you."

"I'm told I was pretty goofy looking at his age. He's ten times smarter than I was at his age, too." Dean looked him over. "Wears his heart on his sleeve a bit more obvious than I did at that age."

"What?" Ben looked up from his tearing of lettuce leaves.

"Not a bad thing. Least girls will be nice to you because you're nice to them." Dean advised.

"Heartbreaker, huh. And the girl?"

"Not interested." Emma proclaimed.

"A girl who knows her own mind." Jody nodded Dean to the back door. They got the grill going and Claire ignored them from where she was sharpening a collection of knives. "Claire, we have guests."

"So."

"Hey." Dean walked over. "Make sure you're stroking away from yourself or you'll… get more cuts."

"Thanks." Claire sighed and adjusted her tools.

Jody looked to Lisa when Ben disappeared outside after Dean. "How you doing, sweetie?"

"Hanging in there." Lisa rubbed her belly. "When I'm not starving, I'm nauseous. It's a little harder on me than it was when I was 22 and stupid."

"Oh to be 22 and stupid again." Jody sipped her wine. "You are not what I expected."

"No?"

"I've known Dean a little while and… you know what… no. You make sense. Everything else I've seen him do is the… opposite of what I see here. I bet you don't put up with his nonsense. Making him sleep in the doghouse, running him ragged with errands and… there he goes after you… which is what he doesn't do… for anyone."

"Well, we have a… complicated history."

"Doesn't everyone." Jody took a seat and took a breath. "I lost my son before I met Dean. I met Dean when the dead started rising. Bobby Singer…. You know Bobby?"

"We met him." Lisa nodded. "He was a good man."

"Bobby and the boys had to… help put them all back to rest. It was… traumatizing and some part of me died that day." She tilted her head at Lisa with a sad smile. "Alex and Claire have their problems but I'm glad to have them. I wouldn't have them if it weren't for Sam and Dean."

"You hunt?"

"Not by choice. Things… sometimes fall in my lap and I usually call one of them for back up. Sometimes one of the girls will… Alex stumbles onto things. Claire finds them."

"But you feel safe?"

"Yeah, not a lot going on in Sioux Falls but I guess we had Bobby to thank for that."

"Claire… my friend, Claire. She did… the same for Battle Creek, I guess. Once I got my memories back, I recognized the… sigils."

"Pop-pop is teaching me about sigils." Emma cut in. "Well, he was."

"What happened?" Jody asked. "Why'd he stop?"

"Dad came home with Claire." Emma made a face. "I'm grossed out for life."

Lisa laughed and moved over to rub Emma's shoulders. "John and Claire are… making up for lost time."

"I only got a little bit from Dean and I think it's gonna be juicy." Jody pulled out a chair for Lisa. Then she looked at Emma. "Unless… it's too much for her."

"I already know too much about Claire and Pop-pop. They're not quiet." Emma pulled a face.

"Oh, no. Do they wake up Erica, too?" Lisa sipped her water.

"No… but maybe that's my Amazon hearing."

"How you like sharing a room with Erica?"

"She kicks if we share a bed and I have nightmares when I'm on the bunk." Then she made a face. "Dean's going to buy me a phone so I can have that song he sings me."

"Dean sings to you?" Jody grinned.

"He said his mom used to sing to him." Emma nodded.

"He's got the hang of this. I don't know why he thought he needed pointers."

"He's scared." Emma whispered. "That everything will go wrong. And he'll have to be alone."

"He tell you that?" Jody asked softly.

Emma shook her head. "I watch him when he's… stuck in his head. He paces and wrings his hands and then he goes out. Sometimes he goes to Lisa's and sometimes… everyone gets worried about him. He's better when he just goes to Lisa's or when he's playing with us. When he's… happy… as I've ever seen him."

"I don't think I've ever seen Dean happy. Truly happy." Jody mused.

"I have." Lisa took a breath as she ran a hand over her belly. "The weekend we made Ben. He was… happy. I think he's been happy since then but that was the happiest I've ever seen him."

"How old were you all when that happened?"

"I was 22… and Dean… I think… was 19… pretending to be 21."

"Sounds like a Winchester." Jody snorted. "When I met the boys… I… hated this knowledge I had but… you build a network. I met Bobby through his drunken raves at the bars. I met Rufus through Bobby. I met the boys through Bobby. Zombies, Okami, Leviathan, time-traveling gods, King of Hell, dragons, Vampires… teenage girls. I wouldn't trade it, though. We do okay." Jody looked up when Alex stumbled down the stairs. "Alex, come on. Join the party."

"Are we getting another sister?" Alex gestured to Emma.

"Emma Winchester… Dean's daughter." Jody motioned.

Alex laughed. "Good luck, kid."

* * *

Lisa rested her hands on her stomach after she had demolished a steak and a half, two sausage links, Dean's first helping of potato salad and a pile of salad. Dean handed her a bowl of pudding and took a seat next to her. She took the bowl and rested it on her stomach. "Jody's good people."

"Told you." Dean nodded. Ben was having a good time with the girls. He hit balls to them and they tried to catch them. Emma was catching on pretty fast and she was quicker than Claire, who had gone competitive on them. Alex was a good sport and went after the wayward balls they missed.

Dean watched as the game dissolved into four teenagers sitting in the grass talking and laughing. Watched Claire braid Emma's hair. He listened to Lisa explain her adventures with him to Jody. Jody laughed, she went quiet, she threw empty cups at Dean. Lisa got up to pee and Jody looked Dean over. "You really love her."

"I'm not sure it'll be enough but… I don't feel the mark as strong."

"When did you get that back?" Jody asked him.

"What?" Dean looked at her.

Jody leaned forward and yanked his sleeve up. "You… you got rid of that thing… last year."

Dean struggled for the memory but couldn't find it. "How did you know?"

"Reading between the lines but I understood things were getting really bad… is that why you have it back?"

Blank. It was all blank. "I only… remember parts of last year… and I didn't even remember not having the Mark."

"You step in the weirdest shit, Dean." Jody tipped her bottle back into her mouth. "She keeps you calm though?"

"For the most part. We've been… she remembered everything and it… rightly, put her out. I've been in a proverbial doghouse and it has sucked but… we've started talking. Going slow… glacial comes to mind. Maybe someday she'll even sleep with me again."

"I thought you had the kiddos stashed in their own room."

"For… sleep training." Dean motioned slightly. "Emma has nightmares and I've been sitting up with her and now she hardly sleeps unless I'm there… Lisa found out and…"

"I see. That's why Emma's mad at Dad. So… sleeping arrangements?"

"She let me have half the bed, I ended up on the far end clinging to a sheet."

"Progress, then."

"It was just so I didn't sneak off and watch over Emma."

"Okay." Jody grinned at him. "Hey… you said everyone was getting their memories back. Maybe you're on the list to get yours back."

"I'm sorry!" Emma shouted as she scrambled to her feet and ran into the house.

Dean leapt to his feet and stared after her for a moment, then he strode over to the other kids who were bewildered. "What the hell just happened?"

"We were just hanging out and…" Ben looked to Claire who looked pale.

"She… tried to kiss me." Claire whispered. "I wasn't ready or else I would have noticed…"

"She was staring at Claire a little bit." Alex offered. "I think she… might be… I saw her and I… it didn't click… I don't think she knew what she going to do… til she did it."

Dean walked into the house to find Emma crying in a corner and Lisa standing in the hallway. Dean moved passed Lisa and approached quietly. "Em?"

"I didn't mean to do it."

"It's okay. No one's hurt."

"I'm disgusting."

"No. Embarrassed… be surprised if you weren't… you… like… Claire?"

"I…" Emma wiped at her eyes. "I don't know."

"Come on… Come out." Dean got his arms around her. "You're not a freak."

"I just… I was watching her and she's… I want to be her."

"No, you don't. She's got problems just like you." Dean squeezed her tight. "Maybe you like her and maybe you just want to be like her but… it's okay. She was startled. She doesn't want to kiss you and that's okay. Loads of people want to be kissed by a pretty blonde."

"Dean, is she okay?" Claire called into the room.

"She'll be fine." Dean called over his shoulder.

"Can I take her upstairs and talk to her?"

"Yeah. That sounds like a good idea." Dean let Emma go and she was shaking her head at him. "Hey, she knows more about girls than I do. Go."

Dean watched as Claire took Emma's hand and dragged her upstairs. He went back outside to rejoin everyone else. Ben and Alex were talking quietly out in the grass. Lisa and Jody looked at him expectantly. "Claire's going to…"

"Claire moves fast. You sure you want her explaining social graces to your daughter?"

"I mean… I know shit about girls… I know even less about lesbians."

"She might not be, Dean. She's… figuring it out." Lisa sighed. "And she doesn't know one way or the other. Lots of girls go through it."

"Did you?"

"No." Lisa shook her head. "I mean… for a few weeks in an ashram I thought I could but I could never get past second base."

"How much time did you spend on second base?" Dean stared at her.

"Nipple play. That was fun." Lisa shrugged.

"I had a girlfriend in the academy. Turns out we were just friends and she was the only girl that I would even think about that way. In every way else… I like men." Jody told them, her eyes on the sky.

"Okay." Dean held his hands up. "Straight, lesbian, bi-curious… she's my kid." He sighed "I wish Charlie was here. She'd know."

* * *

It was late when Dean called upstairs for Emma. Ben was tired. Lisa was cranky and Emma came down with a sheepish look on her face. Ben went to the room to go to bed the second they hit the hotel. Lisa went to get a bath. Dean sat with Emma in his room and she stared at her hands. Emma didn't look up. "It was impulsive."

"You might get that from your old man." Dean told her. "I did more stupid stuff when I was your… apparent age, than most people get around to in a lifetime. It happens. You kiss someone you didn't mean to kiss. It could have gone worse. You could have realized it was a mistake but then the other person was totally in love and it lead to a three week roller coaster that ended up with your second sexual experience being with someone who disgusts you and then you feel all sorts of shame… Sorry… I just... have done… a lot of stupid things because I am impulsive."

Emma picked at her nails. "I… Claire said it was probably just a girl-crush. Said that they can get intense but that… most of the time… they're just… crushes. I think… she's pretty. I just… wanted to kiss her."

"Okay. I guess I can see that." Dean cleared his throat. "It's okay, you know. It's embarrassing but that'll blow over. Claire doesn't hold grudges like that. She's… cool." Emma made a face at him. "I know. I'm old."

"How do you know if someone likes you back?"

"You just do." He shrugged. "When I met your mom, we… used a lot of tells. I read her, she read me. We both knew we were going home with someone."

"She planned that."

"I know but I did, too. She wasn't as interested in follow up as I was used to but we both got what we wanted out of it. Would have been fine if she wasn't an Amazon looking for baby juice."

"That's gross."

"Yeah, well, what are you going to do?"

"How did you know Lisa was…"

"Which time?" Dean shrugged out of his jacket and settled in. "I was in a bar. I saw her when I was getting a drink. She was laughing at something someone said and that smile held my attention. Made me smile. She caught me at it. I bought her a drink as an excuse to get close to her. We had some fun talking and pretending to dance. I offered to drive her home… and when I was supposed to be opening the car door for her… I made my move. I kissed her and she kissed me back."

"Then you made Ben?"

"I guess so. Lisa and I… spent the weekend doing things that would make Ben. I… didn't really want to leave."

"Why did you?"

"I was on… vacation. I told my dad and my brother I was going to see the sights of fives states in five days… I never made it to the third state. I spent my off time with her and then… I went back to my real life."

Emma picked up her head. "Why did you stay? As long as you did?"

"I stayed as long as she let me before I had to go. I meet women all the time. I usually don't care about the next day. Lisa… had something in her eyes that… touched me. I could see and feel her smile and it was real but there was… sadness, maybe, in her eyes. I didn't know at the time but her dad had died and she was hurting. Doing crazy things. It was hard to leave. Her eyes… they were changing… just a little bit. More sad coming in. More… hope… settling in and… that wasn't a time where I was good with hope."

"How did you know it was… love?"

"I didn't. Still don't. Someone told me that Lis and I got shot by an arrow that first night. We're… soulmates or… something. So, I guess it is… love. I just… I've never been good with those kinds of things. After Lis… I dated this… journalism major for two weeks. I thought that was love… it wasn't. It was… intense but it wasn't love." Dean sighed. "There was this other time… I fell for a girl and she had problems… big ones and every time I saw her… I got weak in the knees… then she tried to kill my brother… then she tried to kill my mom. And… then she was dead."

"You got weak in the knees for some girl?"

"She was… an Angel… but she wasn't when I was falling for her. She was um… fallen. Then she got her mojo back and I wasn't so interesting to her anymore. She… didn't have her feelings anymore."

"She didn't feel for you anymore?"

"Angels don't have… emotions like humans do. She still… felt something but it wasn't the same. We had a… connection but it was over the moment she decided my family had to die."

"It sounds messy."

"It is."

"Then… what's the point?"

"Hope. Everyone's got a little bit inside and that's the optimistic take on it. People are lonely and miserable. Sometimes they get to meet someone so that they can be miserable together. I like Lisa and how my life goes when she's in it… so long as I'm not really hunting."

"My face is still hot." Emma touched her skin.

"It'll fade. You need to go take a shower and cool down and get to sleep." Lisa walked out of the bathroom in a robe. "It probably won't feel as big in the morning."

"She's right." Dean nudged her knee.

Emma got to her feet and turned before she got to the door. "If… I am… someone who…" She took a breath. "If it's not just crushes on girls… if I really… want to… with girls… can I still stay with you?"

"Emma…" Dean took a breath. "You're stuck with me. If you're gay, if you're bi, if you're into furry porn… um… I don't care… I don't necessarily need the details of what you decide other than you've figured it out but being into girls is not the worst thing in the world. One of my very favorite people was a lesbian. She was smart and kind and was turning into a hell of a hunter. She was like family… You are my family. Go to bed."

Emma's face was so still when she slipped out, Dean almost got up to go after her. Lisa sat in the spot Emma had vacated. She stared at him. "That was hard and you did it."

"I got like… seven voices in my head trying to tell me what to do and say and I don't know if it's coming out right."

"Welcome to fatherhood, Dean." Lisa stared at him. "I haven't forgiven you but… I'm beginning to understand you a bit better."

"Jody remembers a bit of last year that I can't… I have to call Sam."

Lisa gave him a look. "Do it outside."

Dean nodded and got her arranged on the bed with her pillows and blanket. She let him give her belly a rub before he took his cellphone outside. He stared at the phone for a long time before he dialed.

"Dean. It's late." Sam yawned.

"I have some info about our missing time. They didn't get everyone."

"No?"

"Jody saw us in the last year… says I didn't have the mark and that things were getting really bad."

"She say how we did it?"

"Don't think we told her… so it must have been fucking bad."

"Well, fuck. Any other news?"

"Emma thinks she might be a lesbian."

"What the hell is going on in Sioux Falls?"

"I don't know."

"Did you tell her that it didn't matter to you if she was?"

"Something like that… since when are you on Team Emma?"

"Since… it looks like you're going to pull this off. I think… we shouldn't hunt together anymore. I'm going to keep looking and… you're going to keep wondering but… we shouldn't."

"Thanks, Sam… for… understanding."

"If… I woke up to have an instafamily… you might not let me… So… I'm glad it's you."

* * *

TBC


	26. Chapter 25 - We've got a rhythm

Chapter 25 – We've got a rhythm

* * *

Dean woke up with Lisa's belly in his side and her leg on his. Her head was almost off the bed. Dean reached around and grabbed her ribcage and hauled her back onto the bed. She whined and tucked herself into his side and mumbled some nonsense. Dean shut his eyes again and woke to Ben banging on the door. "We're up. We're dressed. We're hungry."

"20 minutes!" Dean called back. "Lis? You hungry?"

"Yes." She croaked out.

"You want to get dressed?"

"No."

"How about I take the kids to breakfast and you sleep and get ready when you want and I order you some room service?"

"They have that here?"

"They might."

Dean got in the car and let Ben drive them to wherever Emma wanted while he tried to catch like 10 more minutes. They ended up at a place with tablecloths and menus on heavy paper. Dean would have felt like he was out of place except the men were dressed "like" him… only Dean's jacket was real leather and his torn jeans were wear and tear, not by design. There was hardly anything on the menu he'd touch. Emma took over and ordered for them all. Ben and Dean ended up enjoying themselves and Emma had a plate of fruit and yoghurt that made Dean's head spin.

When they got back to the hotel. Lisa was dressed and eating off three plates at the foot of the bed. Bacon. Eggs. Fruit. Bread. Butter. Ben hugged her and handed her a napkin. "Her breakfast looks better than mine was."

"Where'd you go?"

"Little place about seven blocks from here. Fancy people trying to look world-worn." Dean shrugged and sank onto the couch.

"It was really good." Emma told her and hovered. "Can I…"

"What?" Lisa looked up at her with her fork full of food.

"Touch… your… stomach?"

"Um… sure." Lisa pushed the cart away and wiped her hands on a napkin. Emma put her hand on Lisa's stomach. Lisa adjusted her hand. "There's not much to feel right now that you can feel. I can feel him… or her… turning somersaults sometimes."

Emma leaned her head on Lisa's shoulder and waited. Lisa shot Dean a look. He shrugged. Then both Lisa and Emma sat up. Lisa laughed and grabbed Ben's hand. "You feel that?"

"Is that…?" Emma moved her hand a bit so Ben could feel.

"Dean… come over here." Lisa put his hand over theirs. "That's our kid and he's raring to get going."

Dean felt that thump under his hand. He looked at Lisa's still hungry face, Ben's weirded out face and Emma, eyes closed and leaning on Lisa. "This is our family guys and I'm sorry I'm not better at it. We have to keep each other safe. We have to be prepared but we're also going to make sure that we have this… the quiet and happy stuff."

They spent the day walking and shopping and eating. Dean spent the evening, sitting up and listening to Emma thrash through the wall, Lisa's hand on his thigh keeping him in bed. The next day, they picked up Alex, Claire and got a cooler full of food to hike the falls. Emma led the way and Dean was relieved at her confidence in leading the family down the path. Dean carried the cooler on his back. Ben carried blankets and extra water. Lisa brought up the rear, refusing anyone's help as she groaned up inclines and held her belly over uneven footing. Atop a waterfall, they stopped and broke down to eat lunch. Alex shut her eyes and leaned back against a tree. Ben and Emma ate together near the edge. Lisa and Dean sat with Claire and ate in silence.

Claire looked up at Dean. "I've never been up here before. Jody has tried to get us out here but either she's busy or we don't want to."

"I came up here with Bobby… years ago… before it was so damn touristy. Caught hell from Dad about slacking on training for our trouble but I learned to track out here… learned to hate mosquitoes out here."

"It's so beautiful." Emma called over her shoulder, feet dangling over the edge.

"Get your feet back on solid ground." Dean nodded to her.

"I'm not going to fall."

"I don't care what you think. Get back from the edge." Dean got to his feet.

"Emma, honey… Your dad is about to have a heart attack, scoot back." Lisa called over.

Emma rolled her eyes and spun so her feet were on solid ground and scooted forward. "Are you okay, now?"

"You're a brat." Dean told her and sank down on top of the cooler. "You don't get what you want for dinner."

"Like I ever do."

"You've been running breakfast the last two days." Ben cut in.

"Okay. Ben's turn for dinner. What do you want?" Dean declared.

"Pizza."

"Of course." Lisa nodded. "A person cannot live on pizza."

"I can try."

Dean got them all back to the car safely. Emma carried the cooler and Dean carried the blankets and extra water while Ben guided his mother back to the entrance. They crammed back into the impala and met Jody for dinner. Alex told Jody about the hike. Emma gushed about the view. Dean sat back and enjoyed everyone talking and eating. Lisa ate and did little talking. She was tired. She leaned on Dean in the booth, when she wasn't excusing herself to pee. Jody had antacids for her when she got back on one trip. Jody's radio squawked a few times but she sent it to her cellphone and stayed put.

The kids started talking about Vampires and Dean noticed that after a while, Ben stopped contributing. Dean remembered that look. "Kids, let's stay off the monsters during dinner."

"What else is there to talk about?" Claire made a face. "School?"

"For a topic." Jody gave her a look.

After dinner, they went back to the hotel. Lisa paced up and down the landing as her dinner digested. Dean watched a movie with Ben and Emma in their room. He sat between them and had an arm around each. Emma with her thoughts and Ben with his. Emma passed out with her head on Dean's shoulder, holding his arm around her. Ben started talking. "I never told Mom how you looked that night."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come home that night. I thought I was going to say goodbye but…" Dean pulled Ben against him. "I'm so sorry. I was trying not to hurt you. I'm not like that anymore."

"But you're different."

"Yeah."

"I remember that thing… inside her."

"I know." Dean kissed the top of his head. "We saved her, though. She's safe. You're safe. Emma's safe. We got a little one coming. What do you think? Boy or girl?"

"I hope it's a girl."

"What do you think we should name her?"

"I don't know. What was your mom's name?"

"Mary. I should probably talk to Dad if that's the route we go." Dean cleared his throat. "And if it's a boy?"

"Um… Maybe after my grandpa. The one I didn't meet." Ben cleared his throat.

"You're named after him but… I think his middle name was David… that's a good name." Dean nodded. "We'll ask your mom about that. How is your grandma?"

"She still hates you. She remembered you after Mom remembered. Mom called her when… anyway."

"Well, Grandma probably has a point."

"Dean." The door opened.

"Yeah." Dean nodded and extricated himself from Ben. He picked up Emma and put her in her own bed before following Lisa to bed. She was burping and uncomfortable. Finally, Dean had to have her lean against him so she was reclined and upright. Dean fell asleep with her drool on his chest.

* * *

He woke with a crick in his neck and an elbow in his bladder. "Lis…"

"mmmf?"

"I gotta get up." Dean gently sat her up so he could get up. She settled back onto the pillows without opening an eye.

Dean got his morning done before climbing back into bed. Lisa was awake by then. She touched his face. She gripped his chin. She kissed his mouth. "I still don't forgive you."

"I know."

* * *

Emma spent the day with Claire and Alex. Ben and Dean went to try out guns. Lisa slept. Dean and Jody showed Ben how to shoot the gun. It was a good afternoon. Dean returned to the hotel to find that Lisa had eaten lunch and had already started packing for their trip back the next day. Claire brought Emma back to the hotel that evening. Hair done, clothes different. Dean looked her over and prayed hard that Emma was a lesbian.

They ordered in, ate in the kid's room. Lisa oversaw their bags got repacked. They went to bed and Dean was allowed to cuddle. Woke up to her hair in his face. They got up and packed up the car. They all met with Jody and the girls for breakfast. Then they were on the road. The kids stretched out on the bench, arms over legs. Emma wasn't sleeping though. Dean could hear her fiddling with the army man stuck in the ashtray back there.

Lisa's feet in his lap, Dean turned the radio up a bit and sang along as they made it to Chicago before pulling off for dinner and good rest in a bed. Double beds in a single room. Emma slept through the night. Dean didn't really sleep. In the morning, they ate and then he taught Emma to drive. Let her drive their way to the last rest stop then let Ben drive the rest of the way home.

They unloaded Lisa and Ben's things. Then Dean drove to Claire's. House was empty. Dean got the laundry going. Emma hugged him and didn't let go for a long time. Emma slept in her own bed. Dean started drinking and passed out on his air mattress in the living room.

* * *

" .sh." Dean heard and opened his eyes. The front door had opened. His father was carrying a sleeping Erica. "Don't wake her. I got her. I got her."

John took the girl up the stairs while Claire locked up. Then John came back down the stairs. Dean could hear giggling from the kitchen. Then smacking. Then zippers. Then grunts. Then Claire's gasps and moans. Then urgent gasps breathing out his father's name. Dean wished it had been the first time he'd heard that. Then came the dirty talk. His father's special brand of dirty talk that came just before… and there it was. The big O… complete with cabinet kicking.

Dean stared at the ceiling. He wasn't getting back to sleep now. Claire rushed up the stairs, jeans in hand. Then John walked around doing a final sweep. Then John was standing over him. "Sorry, son."

"No, you're not." Dean shook his head.

"You're right. I'm not." John leaned on the wall. "How was the trip?"

"Good. Good. We've… got a… rhythm. We um… got to know each other…" Dean took a breath. "Em's… confused… about… a lot of things."

"She's a teenaged girl. I'm told that comes with the territory."

"It's… a bit more than I figured on, I guess."

"You boys were a bit more than I figured on and you two were normal."

"Sam was not normal."

"Yes he was… up until he started having visions, he was normal." John straightened. "Get some sleep. Erica missed you and I'm sure she'll be up early to tell you all about it."

* * *

Dean woke to Erica laying on his stomach staring at his face. "You were gone too long."

"Erica, I can't breathe."

"I'm not that heavy."

"Bring me a cup of coffee."

"Will you play with me?"

"After I get coffee."

Erica let him up and they let the air out of his bed before going in search of coffee. Claire was sitting at the table making a list. She smiled at him. "I didn't hear you guys come in last night."

"I heard you guys comin' last night." Dean winked at her.

Claire made a face at him. "Anyway, I was thinking lasagna for dinner. I have Lisa's recipe."

"Let me talk to Lisa… I don't…"

"You didn't clear anything up?" Claire sagged.

"Yes and no. She… cares about me… she doesn't forgive me. That's fine." Dean shook his head.

"I have an attic. I don't use it. It's… shorter than you."

"I miss my room." Dean sipped his coffee and stared at his arm. "Is it weird that the crushing responsibility that comes with a woman who despises my actions, two teenagers who don't know how to talk to me and an unborn child are crushing the feeling of wanting to commit mass murder?"

"Are you okay?"

Dean kissed Erica's head when she forced herself onto his lap. Claire gave her daughter a look. Erica added sugar to Dean's coffee and took a sip. Dean sighed. "Well, I have now forfeited my coffee to a nine year old. My morning could go worse."

"Your dad was going crazy. Just the three of us in the house. Erica was punishing him because you went off with your kids… it was pretty funny."

"What did you guys do without my drama?"

"I might have a lead on a new day job. John might think… _think_ about getting a job with a car outfit outside of town. Erica nailed that triple she's been working on. I got this house sanitized… We also got Lisa's house sanitized and… your dad bought a crib. Hid it in her attic. Don't let her buy one."

"Got it."

"I'm going to slip birth control into your father's food. I think it'll diminish his libido some."

"What's that mean?" Erica took her face out of Dean's coffee just long enough to add more sugar.

"That Mommy needs a nap."

"Why don't you just tell him you need a break from your kitchen cabinet kicking habit?" Dean covered the top of the cup so Erica couldn't put anymore sugar in it.

"You're not a woman so I don't think I can explain. I start to put him off. I do." Claire twirled her pen between her fingers. "Then he smiles. The slow half smile and then I give in a little and then he touches me and I remember… I remember that it's good. It's real good and then it's too late. And then it's dawn and I have to get the kid to school and I need a nap and… I'm getting a job. Once I have a job, then I have a good excuse."

"That doesn't work." Dean scoffed.

"You do it. I've seen you do it. "Hi, couldn't help but notice you drink margaritas." Then half smile. "I learned how to make them in Mexico. Beautiful beaches and the only thing missing… was you." Then you touch. An arm, hand, neck…" Claire looked at him. "You do that."

"Maybe once."

"Once. "Hi. My name is Abe. Not like the president." Half smile. "You drinking beer? Awesome, let me get you another. Did I hear you talking about yoga? I spent this weekend with the best instructor and I could…" Oh my god." Claire stared at him. "You used your weekend with Lisa to get girls to sleep with you. How am I just piecing this together now?"

"It was just that once. I felt bad. I never did it again."

"You never did that one specific line again. You and your dad have the same pick up style. You only have four avenues of attack and most of those work most of the time." Claire motioned to the stairs and Erica pouted.

"Come on. Shower time… and wake up Em." Dean set Erica on the floor.

"Knock on the door for Pop-pop, too." Claire called and cringed. "I hate that nickname."

"You're the one fucking a grandpa." Dean picked up the paper.

"Says the man working on his third illegitimate child with a woman he loves but whose memory he stole… twice."

"That was dirty, Claire. I'm hurt."

"Good."

"Jerk." He gulped his coffee and got up to refill it with the pure stuff. It still tasted sweet but he endured. Poured in more and sat down. "Emma's romantic feelings are curious. I'm taking a hands off approach. All I have is a dead friend who would have known what to say."

"Did you tell her that she's okay?"

"Yes."

"Then it's not that hands off and it was the best you could have said."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. We'll go have a girl's day. I'll see if she wants to talk."

"Maybe." Dean sighed. "Can she just be a grown-up who only calls when she wants money?"

"That time will come soon enough."

John wandered in, jeans slung low, scratching at his belly. "Morning."

"I'm going to check on the girls." Claire scooted past him.

"Is it hot?" John pointed to the coffee pot.

"Yeah." Dean held his cup out for more. It should even out the remaining sugar in his cup.

"How was the trip really?"

"We had fun. Took the kids to the Falls for some hiking. Emma is a natural hunter and tracker. She led the way." Dean rubbed his arm. "Jody remembered some stuff that I didn't about the last year or so… says I got rid of the mark."

"So why's it still on your arm?"

Dean stared into his cup. "I'm scared to know why… if I have it… again… I messed up or… it got worse without it."

"Would you voluntarily take it back?"

"I don't know. I wasn't coping so well with it before… I feel like… I'm getting better or something." Dean took a breath. "I haven't killed in a while. Not since Lisa found out…"

"I don't understand how you can be okay with killing like that."

"I'm not. I… try to direct it. Someone who deserves it."

"People deserve what you do to them?"

"Some do." Dean looked at his father. "I see people. Their… dark parts."

"That last one you killed, what was his dark part?"

"He liked to kill homeless kids."

John took a breath. "You tell your brother?"

"Yeah."

"He looking into it?"

"We agreed not to… which means he will anyway but I told him not to." Dean sighed. "If I'm here. If I'm with Lisa… I can keep it down. I can… channel it. I can't…" He looked to his father. "I'm beginning to think that I did this to myself. I took it back and everyone I needed was given back to me."

"You think you got a support system in exchange for taking that thing back?"

"Maybe… I just… wonder where we hid the blade. I don't feel that it's nearby but… I know it's out there. I want it."

"What are your plans?"

"To settle."

"Settle, huh."

* * *

It was a one-bedroom. It was small but Dean made sure it was in the district. It was relatively safe. They had no furniture but the air mattresses that Dean took from Claire's. They ate macaroni for dinner and practiced pick-pocketing. Emma did her homework and hung her clothes up in the closet. Dean listened to her breathing all night from the other side of the wall.

Morning brought a rush to school and sent Dean to the grocery store. He stocked the kitchen and lifted an armchair from behind a dumpster, a couple of bar stools from an open back door of a bar. That night, Dean taught Emma cards and laid out the expenses for the apartment. He laid out three months worth of rent and utilities and they agreed to put the money in the back of the pantry, in the oatmeal box they probably would never eat. Emergency money… in case something happened to Dean.

They watched a movie on Dean's phone, Emma fell asleep on his shoulder. Dean let her.

Morning rush. Dean found part-time work. He gambled some pool. He picked up Emma and Ben for Ben's game and then dinner at Lisa's. Lisa still looked surprised when Emma hugged her. Emma and Ben dominated conversation. Dean ate. Lisa asked questions. They sat together after the kids took to video games. Dean talked a bit about the place he had. Lisa only nodded. Lisa talked about her doctor's appointment. They talked about school ending soon.

"I've got a lead on a hunt, nearby. Em's going to stay at Claire's. Dad's coming with."

"Okay." Lisa nodded. "Um… Could you… help me with something upstairs?"

That was how Dean ended up on top of Lisa, hunched and thrusting when her bedroom door opened and he couldn't even look up. "I'll be down in a bit." Lisa's fingers clenched in his ribs. "Git!"

The door slammed and Dean tried to chase that last bit of pleasure while Lisa's hands traveled to get him closer. Spent, he tried not to crush her. Untangled, Dean collapsed and laid his hand on her belly.

"Who do you think it was?" Lisa asked, her hand on top of his.

"Emma. I could smell her perfume." Dean groaned. "We should go."

"Okay." Lisa nodded. "When do you leave?"

"Thursday. Should be back by Saturday night." Dean reached down and tucked himself back into his pants.

"Dean…"

"I know… we aren't fixed." Dean cleared his throat as he sat up to find his shirt. "I know… we got… a long road but… thanks… for this… I… needed it as much as you did, I think."

Lisa sucked in a huge breath and let it out slowly. "We'll talk more when you get back."

Dean took a breath at the door and let it out as he descended the stairs. Emma and Ben were sitting on opposite sides of the couch. Dean squeezed Ben's shoulder in farewell and Emma took herself to the car. It was a silent drive to their little apartment. Emma disappeared into the bathroom. Dean pretended to be asleep when she crept to her room. The next morning was awkward. Dean drove her to school. "You okay?"

She only nodded.

"You know I wasn't mad. I was just… busy."

"Yeah." She nodded. She picked at her knee when the car came to a stop. "You know I have superhearing, right?"

"I didn't."

"I thought… I could hear her." Emma fiddled with her bookbag. "I thought she was in trouble."

"She's fine."

"I guess."

"Feel free to ask her." Dean took a breath. "Do you think I would hurt her?"

"I don't know. I can hear your heart just before you grab your arm. That scares me."

"So… you would be willing to protect Lisa from me?"

"Yes." She looked up at him.

"Good. I like that." Dean nodded. "I won't."

"Does it hurt?"

"Sex?" Dean's eyes got wide. "I mean… not in any bad way."

"Does that mean that she forgives you?"

"No. It definitely does not mean she forgives me." He glanced at his watch. "When you're in as deep and Lisa and me… there are no quick fixes. I may never live inside her house again."

"Then… why…"

"I don't want to talk about this with you." Dean sighed and looked out the window. "We all have those urges. To touch and kiss and… go… all the way. It's that urge your tribe uses to get their babies. I won't say that men have it more than women but we act on it more, I think. Women need it to be more… more often than men do. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, you know?"

"Amazons are from Mars." She reminded him.

"I guess so. Anyway… when you love someone and they're mad at you, those urges get… complicated. So… now I know she still loves me but she's still mad. I'm okay with that. Gives me hope."

"We don't… I think… until we're older. Love isn't…"

"I know." Dean looked her over. "I wasn't hurting Lisa. I promise. The things you feel when you're… they make you make sounds that… well, can be mistaken."

"I like her a lot. Even before everything she was nice and even after she knew… she's still nice."

"She's that kind of person. You're going to be late." Dean took a breath. "Just… knock before you enter an adult's bedroom."

"Ok. Ben has a game."

"I have to miss it. Go. I'll see you when I get home. You have the keys to pick up your bag?"

"Yes." She rolled her eyes and exited.

* * *

Lisa cheered and winced when the baby didn't like the sharp movement. Claire yanked her down. "Sit, cheer from a seated position and eat more nachos."

"Shut up." Lisa shook her head.

"Mom." Erica tugged on Claire's arm. "I need soda money."

"You need a water." Claire pulled the bottle out of her bag. "Drink that then you get soda money."

"But Dean lets Emma drink soda."

"Emma is not my daughter." Claire bopped her nose. "Drink your water… right here."

"Mom." Erica groaned.

"Where is Emma?" Claire scanned the crowd.

"Flirting with those boys over there." Lisa pointed. "Or… I think they're flirting with her and she's busy watching the game."

After the game, Ben and Emma went with his friends to eat. Lisa and Claire took Erica for pizza. Claire got really excited when Erica made a friend in the ball pit. The combined enthusiasm kept all the other kids out but the other kid's dad also looked ecstatic. Claire moved over to him. "Claire Reid, that's my kid Erica."

"Kelly, that's Ricky." He motioned. "He freaks other kids out. This… is good."

"Mine, too. She… also tortures her teachers." Claire covered her mouth. "I picked her up from school one day, she's sitting on top of the swing set and a teacher is shouting at her to get down. She's just up there swinging her feet."

"That was your kid?" Kelly laughed. "I heard about that. He's 10."

"She's nine. Jesus… she'll be ten this summer."

"We need to do some playdates." Kelly gestured to the kids, slowing down in fatigue. "I see some naps in my future."

"My kid doesn't nap."

"I'm talking about me. I need a nap. Since his mother…"

"I'm sorry."

"It's been several years but he is a handful."

Claire hauled her daughter out of the pit and helped Ricky out of the pit. They exchanged numbers and everyone headed away. Lisa pulled up at the pizza place and texted Ben. Then she noticed the crowd near the door.

Lisa got out of the car and approached the crowd. A paramedic was at work on a kid with a broken nose. Ben and Emma were talking to a cop. Another cop was talking to a few other kids. The police cruiser and ambulance were in the alleyway where she couldn't see from where they parked. "Ben Braedan."

"Mom! It's not as bad as it looks." Ben immediately jumped in.

"He's right." The cop told her. "Owner called us about a ruckus. Seems that young man was bothering Emma here. He was told to stop by seven different people including the owner. He followed her outside and laid his hands on. Emma has a bruise on her arm. She broke his nose and went back inside to ask for help. That's when we showed up. We're done here. They can go home."

"Lisa." Emma wrung her hands together. "I didn't mean to break his nose, I swear. I just… wanted him to get away."

"It's okay. You… did what you had to. You don't need to be sorry." Lisa pulled her under her arm.

"Do you have to tell Dean?"

"I have a feeling that your dad will love this story. Come on. Time to go." Lisa let Ben lead the way.

"Do you have to tell him?"

"Yes. When cops are involved but trust me… he'll be okay with the story. He'll be okay with what you did."

Lisa walked them into Claire's house. Emma pulled Lisa upstairs with her to the room she was sharing with Erica. She paced. "That kid. We go to school with him. Jeremy. He… caught me staring at the waitress. He followed me outside to tell me he was going to tell everyone. I said I didn't care but…"

"Kids are dumb." Lisa stopped Emma from pacing. "Dean is not going to be mad at you."

"I think I want to drop out."

"I think… you and Dean will have to talk about that but I also think that if you drop out, you'll miss out on the mingling. High school is all about mingling and finding out what you like. College is for experimenting with your life, your education. Your life."

"It sounds better than it is."

"I know. Talk to your father." Lisa watched Emma heave herself onto the top bunk and flop into her pillow. "Em…"

All she got was a deep intake of breath. Then Erica came in, rubbing her eyes and tugging off her shoes. Lisa helped Erica into bed and shut off the light. Ben and Claire unloaded the car and Claire looked at Lisa. "She's scared?"

"Yes." Lisa nodded. "She wants to drop out but I told her that was between her and Dean."

"Dean's a drop out." Ben pointed out and shrank away when his mother looked at him.

"I'm not her mother but I'd think getting her socialized would be the best thing for her."

"If she were younger, I'd agree." Claire took a breath. "I think… she needs more… organic socialization than the school. I think she's scared. Of the things that wouldn't have been an issue if she were still with her tribe."

"Oh." Lisa breathed out. "They would have taught her… specifically."

"Yeah. I think so. We… keep seeing a teenager but she's… not that old. I don't know what her cycle would have been. Dean doesn't."

"Should we call him?"

"No. I think we should let her be and just let her know we're here. She's the only one like her."

"Em's okay." Ben cut in. "She just… gets… overloaded."

"Has this happened before?" Lisa looked at him.

"At school a couple of times. She just goes to the girls locker room and hides for a little bit."

"Why doesn't Dean know about this?" Claire pressed.

"We… changed the number his messages from school go to…" Ben winced.

"Home, now. We're talking to Dean about what you two did when he gets home."

* * *

Dean held the door open for his father, who was still steamed at him. John dropped the bags by the garage door and stormed up the stairs. Claire came around the corner and blinked at Dean. Dean shook his head. "Is Em ready to go?"

"Her bag is over there." Claire motioned to the table by the door. "Em… is hiding in the tree outside."

"What?"

"She might come down for you."

Dean groaned and marched outside. "Em! Let's go!"

"Did… she tell you?" The watery voice came down.

"Claire told me you were up a tree. I'm telling you that it's time to go home."

Emma jumped down and slinked past to get her bag and get into the car. Dean looked to Claire. Claire laughed. "We still don't know what she's so upset about. A boy got in her face and she broke his nose. No one's in trouble but the cops were called because it happened at a restaurant. She's fine. She has a bruise on her arm. The kid's nose bled until after the ambulance showed up but it's all fine."

"Kay." Dean shook his head and got in the car.

They hit a drive thru and then went home. Emma sat against the door. Dean just let her. He was too tired and hungry to find out. Dean dropped his bag on the floor, ate half his burger and went to shower. When he got out, she was still picking at her lunch. Dean finished his burger and his fries and washed it down with a beer. "What's going on?"

"Nothing."

"You got into a fight."

"I didn't start it."

"Did you win?"

"I guess."

"I heard he deserved it."

"Did he?"

"He was being a jerk, right?"

"Yeah."

"Threatening you?"

"Kind of."

"Then he deserved it. Good girl." Dean nodded.

"You're not mad at me?"

"Nah. You were worried I would be?"

"Yeah." She nodded and started eating, finally.

"You can take care of yourself. Don't let people treat you like crap."

"I want to drop out."

"Why?"

"It's too much. The kids are… mean. That guy kept saying he was going to tell everyone I was gay and a pervert but I don't even know if I am. I like to look. I know that. I just…"

Dean took a long deep breath and blew it out. "Let's roll this back."

"It's too much. There's so many people everywhere."

"The… episodes… like the one in Claire's back yard."

"They happen at school. I try to find Ben. Ben takes me someplace where it's quiet. Teachers have caught me a few times."

"They didn't call me."

Emma reached for his phone. He handed it over. She showed him how the number was forwarded to her cell phone. "Ben helped me do that."

"And the hellspawn do evil deeds." Dean sighed. He stared at her. "Maybe we consider it. You got two years left and I didn't finish. What are you going to do instead?"

"I could hunt, with you. I could… get a job. Start buying furniture for this place. Take it over when Lisa… maybe takes you back."

"A girl with a plan. I like that."

"You ever going to take me to the bunker?"

"Maybe."

"What if I'm good at that like Adam?"

"You might be."

"You gonna let me do it?"

Dean stared at her. It took a minute, a long one, for all the pieces to click into place. "You are pretty much your own boss. I'm just a grown-up looking person who makes this all look legit. I got no idea what I'm doing or what to do with you. I mean… I'm your dad. I participated in giving you life but… I'm no one's role model. I'm doing my best to make sure you got the things you need but… You're kind of running the show. In my head, dad's head, Claire's head… you're a little girl but you're not. If you wanted, you could leave and never see us again. You could go do whatever." Dean sighed. "You came to me because you were scared of your tribe coming for you if they found out you were back. You got some… mental scars from Purgatory but you're okay. You do most of the cooking. You're doing the cleaning. You wash your own clothes and you meter out your own lunch money out of what I give you but… once I teach you to gamble… you're self-sufficient. I mean… what do you want to do?"

* * *

TBC


	27. Chapter 26 - Tell me more

Chapter 26 – Tell me more.

* * *

Dean and Emma spent her counseling hour for two weeks preparing for the GED in the school library. Her counselor was concerned but they explained, quickly, all the things making it difficult for her to adjust. Culture shock, confused sexuality and spirituality, bullying. Her progress through her classes made it hard to justify not completing early. Still, it seemed harder than when Dean had taken his.

Ben got his Dean time after school. Before practice. Tossing around the baseball or just running. The coach always shooed him off when they were getting down to business.

Dinner at Lisa's three nights a week. Saturdays with both kids doing something that he hated but they could agree on. Watching her belly grow. Finding something for the kids to do when Lisa needed him to help her out in the bedroom.

Emma picked out the furniture for the apartment, one piece at a time. Dean had to go retrieve each item as she bartered the price. Bed, dresser, sofa, coffee table. Apothecary cabinet. Lamps. Then he came home from a hunt and she and Ben had put together a small living area for him. Bed, nightstand and a room partition… that could fold back for a view of the TV she'd also bought. When he checked their stash, it was untouched. She was making money for the stuff.

Then, as he was making salt shells, he realized that she didn't have easy access to weapons. They were all in his trunk. They spent an evening taking measurements in her closet and designing something for the kind of weapons she was comfortable with. The only thing she would have out in the open would be her bow and quiver. That gave Dean other ideas about her socialization as Claire had put it. Charlie would have approved. Emma wasn't sure about the LARPing until she saw the view for herself.

Sometimes John came over for dinner. Sometimes he had Erica and sometimes he had Ben. Dean was glad to see it. They didn't hunt together. Dean's methods were too risky for John and that was fine. John brought Emma presents. He helped bang together the closet when it was ready.

Then it was summer and Emma had her results from her GED. She did it. She was free from school. Ben wasn't even jealous about it. He liked school. He liked the drama.

Lisa was ready to pop. Dean was needed almost daily to massage her back and feet. Then he was needed nightly to assist in speeding along the arrival of their child. Dean was always game. He liked lying with her afterward, feeling her belly and watching her chest heave… having her hand on his arm, keeping him close.

They all had dinner when Emma brought home her first girlfriend. A thin brunette with a lot of piercings. She was 18, worked at a tattoo parlor and met Emma when she was trying her hand at pool. It lasted two weeks past the family dinner. Then Emma brought a guy by. 17 year old chubby red head who played D&D on the weekends. They met at a renaissance fair when Emma showed everyone up at archery. It lasted three weeks past the family dinner.

Then John and Claire broke up.

John slept in Dean's bed. Dean took the sofa. Emma kept John in food, especially when his drinking got bad. When it got really bad, John talked about it to whichever of them was listening. "I saw her talking to that Ricky kid's father. She said there was nothing going on…"

"There's not." Dean offered.

"I've been there. I stayed. I take care of Erica."

Dean listened as his father slurred his way through a slew of things he'd done right. Then a list of things that he thought Claire had done wrong. Emma was asleep but Dean wondered if she was faking. "Do you love her, Dad?"

"I'm here, aren't I?"

"You don't say it to her. You just provide a warm body to sleep with. She takes care of herself, of Erica herself. Then you go and accuse her of sleeping around… just like you did when we were living in that motel after the Pixie."

"No, I didn't."

"You did. You accused her of sleeping with me. She tried to love you then and you wouldn't let her and… she didn't get her hopes up this time. She knows you too well."

"Shut up. You don't know what you're talking about."

"I do. She's not stepping out with Kelly. She's… trying not to be upset over you walking out on her. She's not going to let you come back this time. You fucked it up. Why? Because it's Mom's birthday last week? Because you can't ever let go of her?"

John just sat there, rubbing his finger where his ring would have been.

"You always do this. You take out your grief on everyone around you and sometimes… we think we deserve it. Sam never did. Sam wanted to get the hell out before he started believing the things you say when you're like this. He preferred to believe you hated him… than to think you loved him and treated him like that anyway. He always thought I was your favorite… and I always thought you put him before me."

"Enough." John took another swig.

"Never talk to my daughter the way you did today. She's fine. She's capable. She's holding me together…"

"What did I say?" He glanced up, just barely, ready to hear, ready to get reamed again.

"You called her a dyke and told her she'd be lucky to get knocked up by a guy who didn't mind if she brought home a slut to share every once in a while. You said that… to your granddaughter." Dean gripped his arm and walked into Emma's room. He sat on the edge of her bed and stroked her hair. Her pillow was wet. Then he stroked her back and watched her eyes squeeze tighter. Dean stretched out beside her and kissed her head. "He didn't mean that. He just gets mean when he's sad. He was sad my whole life."

She cried until the tears just stopped. She took a deep breath. "They didn't let us… hug much after we left our homes. I feel like… I hug you too much."

"You're fine. I feel like I don't do it enough." Dean told her. "Are we good?"

"He says things and they feel true." Her eyes opened and they just killed Dean.

"I know. They're not."

"I liked Liz. She was nice. She moved fast, though." She shrugged. "Too fast."

"I figured.

"Wes was cool, I guess. He moved slow. Too slow."

"That happens."

"Have you met Kelly?"

"Once, I think."

"Claire isn't… with him, you know."

"I know."

"He's perfect for her, though."

"Probably."

"She misses him… Pop-pop."

"Yeah."

"I thought they were good together."

"They think so, too."

"I don't want them to be so sad."

"You can't help what other people feel."

"Ben has a girlfriend."

"You just outed your brother. Good form."

"She's ugly, but she's nice."

"That's rude." Dean laughed.

"It's true but he's flighty and if he hurts her, I'll hurt him." She sucked in a deep breath.

"Good to know."

Emma rolled over to face him. "What happens when the baby comes?"

"I'll probably spend a lot of nights over there. Ben might have to come here to study. There are not going to be any parties here."

"Okay."

"If you bring guys here… or girls. Whatever… text me."

"What?"

"You'll figure it out. I just don't want to see it."

"Can you do the same when we're at Lisa's and you go upstairs? I can hear."

"Yeah." Dean shrugged. "Sorry."

"You are not sorry. You like helping her move furniture in the bedroom."

"I do. I really do and that's your warning. When she needs help and she asks me instead of Ben… that's your warning."

"Okay." Emma shut her eyes. "I really like her."

"She likes you." Dean cleared his throat. "And even if she didn't. That would be okay, too. Don't… go trying to please people all the time. It could snowball."

"Will you stay here?"

"Yeah. I don't want to share a room with him either."

* * *

Claire sat with Lisa and didn't drink during their book club. It was a 50 Shades night and neither of them had read it. Most everyone was talking about the movie, anyway. Lisa leaned her head on Claire's shoulder. Claire stroked her hair. "How are you feeling?"

"Like a whale."

"Any day now."

"I hope."

"What are the kids and Dean doing?"

"Getting tattoos." Lisa took a breath.

"What?"

"Dean insisted and after the things that I've been through… it's worth it." She made a motion with her hands. "Emma's ex is making sure no one questions it."

"You gonna get one?"

"Probably. I have to wear this until I make a decision about it." Lisa held out her wrist. "Dean said his mother had one when she was young."

"It's pretty, though."

"Yeah… I stopped working already. Dean's been out late getting both his rent and my mortgage covered."

"I thought you were set."

"I am but… Dean's… really trying to show how much help he is. I'm letting him. John come back?"

"No, he's still at Dean's." Claire sat back and glanced at the wine on the table.

"He'll come around."

"Not sure I can do this with him again." Claire shook her head. "This was her birthday… it's so much worse on the anniversary of the day she died."

"Dean said he let into Emma the other day. Emma's not talking to John. Dean told her she never had to again."

"Are you serious? What did he say?"

"It was enough to send her away in tears and Dean stayed with her while she bawled her eyes out. Dean says when he confronted John about it, he didn't even remember what he said."

"How is Dean doing?"

"I think that… Mark healing energy is curing his tongue. I know he's got to be biting it all the time. He doesn't talk a whole lot but when he does, he sounds like a talk show host." She shook her head. "I think he's been watching Oprah reruns or something. I know he and Emma have been looking into jobs for her but I think they're mostly just training and hanging out."

"Probably."

"Dean wants to take them to see the bunker but I don't know."

"I'd really like to see that bunker." Claire sighed and returned her attention to the ladies who were busy arranging babysitting duties with the ladies who had dates. Claire smiled at woman in the group. "Have I got a guy for you."

"What?"

"His name is Kelly Haskills. He's got a ten year old boy. We have playdates all the time. He's such a good guy."

"What's he look like?"

Lisa jumped in. "He's handsome. If I were not in the… situation I'm in, I'd go for it."

"Really… with what knocked you up?" Someone else leaned forward.

"Really." Lisa nodded.

"Tell me more."

* * *

Claire got down to look over the tattoos with Lisa. Ben and Emma both got them on their shoulder blades. Erica was pouting. Her arms were covered in temporary tattoos. Claire left them to walk home with Erica. They opened the door and Erica ran up to her room. Claire locked up and found John in her kitchen, drunk. She sat across from him. Then she decided she was tired. "I'm going to bed. There are plenty of places for you to sleep tonight. My bedroom is not one of them."

"Darlin'…"

"She was the love of your life. We are all painfully aware but it doesn't give you the right to treat us this way." Claire took a breath at the doorway. "I can take it. Dean can take it. Sam won't… Dean is done. Whatever you said to Emma, he's drawn a line. He's not going to let you do it again and… I'll never let you be that way around Erica."

"I…"

"I love you, John. Always have. This… is a deal breaker."

* * *

TBC


	28. Chapter 27 - He needs family

Chapter 27 – He needs family

* * *

Dean laid his hand on her back. She was so small and laying so comfortably on his chest. The bassinet was next to the bed but Dean needed this. He could hear Lisa downstairs getting Ben ready for school. Last day of school. Emma was down there cooking breakfast and getting the coffee going. Adam and John were building a playpen that it was too early to use.

Then Sam called. "Dean? You might want to make some plans to get everyone here."

"Why?"

"I hadn't heard from Crowley in a spell and he's looking for you."

"Wards still working?"

"Yes."

"Then we'll be there soon as we can. But… she's… she shouldn't be in the car so long."

"Ward the cars. Use the garage entrance."

* * *

John marked the roofs and trunks and inside the hoods. Adam did grocery run for the cars. Emma packed weapons and stashed them in easy to reach places around the cars. John, Adam and Ben in one car. Dean, Emma and Erica in the Impala. Claire, Lisa and the baby in the third. Caravanning was the way to go. Essentials for the adults. Everything for the baby. 12 hour drive was going to be longer.

Lisa wasn't in love with the idea but Dean could tell that she was curious about the bunker and about the Men of Letters stuff. Ben wanted to see it. Emma was dying to see it.

Dean endured the girly chatter better than he thought he would. When Erica fell asleep. Emma leaned on his shoulder and sang with the radio. The first stop had a lot of cranky people. Dean sent Emma to pick up a food order while everyone went to a corner of their respective rooms to get away from everyone else. Baby Mary Louisa finally got a cool quiet place to sleep. Lisa got room to stretch. Ben hovered around Dean. Dean had to ask. "Pop-pop being cool?"

"Yeah but Adam was ticked off at him. They got into it. Stuff I didn't know about."

"Sorry, kid."

"I didn't know that Adam met Pop-pop before he died."

"A few times. Sam and I didn't meet Adam until both he and Pop-pop were gone."

"I only had one grandparent. Just Grandma."

"I know. My Dad died when you were a kid. Mom died when me and Sammy were real little. I didn't know any of my grandparents. I met Mom's parents a couple years back but it's not the same as growing up with grandparents."

"No." Ben shook his head.

"Well, you're going to be fine. No grandparents except Susannah and no parent but your mom."

"You keep saying you're a bad role model but… I've learned more from you than I have anyone else."

"You know what's right and what's not. That you got from your Mom. You know when I'm full of shit and when I'm good. You learned that from your Mom."

"Claire taught me how to shoot."

"Good."

"You should have taught me."

"No, I'll bet she's a better teacher than me. I'll teach you to drive. It's what I'm good at."

"You already did that."

"We did the little stuff. There's bigger stuff in driving, champ." Dean knocked him in the shoulder.

They helped Emma bring the food inside. Ben took John and Adam their food. They slept early. Dean watched over them all as he slowly gave in to sleep. He thought he could hear John and Claire fighting but that used to put him to sleep, too.

Baby crying woke him up. Lisa had her on the tit in less than a minute. Dean stroked their faces and fell back to sleep. He woke again when Lisa got up to get showered. He had the baby until it was time to load up. She and Dean went in last. The last leg took forever. Dean steered them through to the garage of the bunker and they parked as they could. Sam met them. Hugged the kids and Dean. Sam took the baby so Lisa could get the baby's things together. Adam stormed off. John stormed a different direction. Claire wrangled the kids and got them to the kitchen for a snack.

Dean got the lay of the land. Where John had landed and Adam had landed. He got rooms opened for the kids and Claire. He took the baby's things to his room. He found more pillows for Lisa. Sam had filled a closet with bedding because he was a freak and Dean was grateful.

Emma had her blanket from home. She put it on top of the sheets and looked around the room. "This is mine."

"Okay." Dean nodded.

"I kicked Ben out but Erica can come in if she wants."

"You want a sign for your door?"

"Yes."

"You two get into it over something?" Dean looked at her. She sat on the bed, fingering her blanket.

"No."

"Em…"

"It's nothing."

"You two were getting along just fine. What happened between the garage and here?"

Emma's eyes filled with water. "He kissed Heather McDaniels."

Dean blinked. "Is that the redhead who was over at the apartment the other night?"

Emma nodded. "I thought she liked me…"

Dean sighed and sat next to her. She leaned on him and his shirt grew wet with tears. "Don't let a girl come between you. That's not going to last. If she's kissing Ben, she's not your type anyway."

"She kissed me."

"Oh!" Dean groaned. "Neither one of you wants to go down that road. Does he know Heather kissed you?"

"I don't know."

"Okay. Well, you tell him by dinner or I do. We do not need a Heather McDaniels anywhere near this family."

* * *

Dean sank into a chair and looked to his brother. Sam had been quiet since they had arrived. "Well?"

"When you were this exhausted before… you'd wake up with a cleaver in your hands."

"This is good exhaustion. That shaking doesn't happen when I'm exhausted like this. It comes when all of them aren't talking to me. When I can't get at them because of hunting." He breathed out. "A night of walking the floor, trying to get some touch, keeping the kids from killing each other… it brings me down harder than any night of shredding assholes ever did."

"Good." Sam nodded. "So, I've been putting together the cases we've done, talking with Jody, Donna, Cole… some woman named Eileen…" Sam cleared his throat. "Apparently, I should text instead of call her, Garth…"

"Where did you land?"

"We were fighting the Mark, we got it removed and then… something terrible happened. It let out… something as old as God." Sam stared at his brother. "So… you with the Mark… means we made a deal. We did something big. We should all be dead. People's memories are coming back. People are undead again. It's… puzzling."

"I took it back. We put it back… whatever it was. Why scrub our memories?"

"Maybe to make the transition easier? Maybe to make sure we didn't screw ourselves over." Sam cleared his throat. "I feel like… we agreed on this. That we knew we'd have to go our own ways."

Dean stared at his arm, the Mark peeking out from under his sleeve. "It was bad when I woke up. I felt it a lot. Then I was back in '98 and it was less but it was there… and since then… it's been getting better. I don't have time to feel it. Lisa's going to start her classes again and I'm the one going to be with the baby all day. I hustle all evening. I'm at Lisa's all night to walk with Lou after she's fed. I get Ben's breakfast in the morning. I get Emma over to help while I nap. Then we go out and train…"

"When do you sleep?"

"I don't. I nap. I got a newborn."

"You paying on that apartment still?"

"Emma's working on a day job. She'll take over soon. Lisa has savings. I'm not letting her touch it."

"You need to sleep or you'll wake up wearing the guts of some philanderer you crossed paths with."

"What do you suggest?"

"Stop trying to be on top of everything. Just… trust your support system. You had to ask for them all for a reason."

"You think I asked for all of them?" He took a breath. "Dad is back. Adam is back. We both have our issues with dad and we hardly know Adam." Dean sank down in his chair. "Do you think I asked for Mom, too?"

"I imagine that it's possible but she wouldn't know where to find us. I've put out feelers but nearly all the Campbells went down when we were fighting Leviathans and Alphas." Sam shook his head. "Why not Bobby?"

"Because Bobby is done." Dean looked at his brother. They nodded at each other. "He can have his Walker Black and his radio and his wife baking him pies."

"We don't know nearly enough about Mom."

"You're right." Dean took a breath. "She'd look for us or Dad. She'd find his headstone."

"But she'd realize that if she were brought back… there could be others."

"We don't even know that she…" Dean shook his head. "Her… spirit… is gone. Missouri said so."

"Anything with the power to help us put the Mark back, to bring Dad and Adam back…"

"You keep omitting Emma." Dean pointed out.

"I never realized how… upset you were about what I did. I knew that you'd be… conflicted."

Dean blinked the moisture out of his eyes. "She's grown on me. She's… She depends on me. I know she's… she looks old enough to fend for herself but she needs me."

Sam's brows furrowed the thicker Dean's voice got. "And that's all you saw when she came to you."

"Maybe." Dean cleared his throat hard. "She's alive now. We're making things work."

"You're a good dad, Dean. I always thought you would be."

"What about you? You at least taking the edge off?"

"I got nothing serious going on." Sam glanced around. "Dad locked in his room?"

"Got records going and everything." Dean nodded. "What's going on with Crowley?"

"He heard a rumor that you'd got the Mark back. He wants to meet."

"Why'd he come to you?"

"He can't find you. And he's looking." Sam motioned toward the garage. "Who warded the cars?"

"Dad."

Sam motioned around. "We should get some sleep. I'll go out and meet Crowley tomorrow and set something up."

Dean nodded and got up to check on the kids. Ben had his own bed and was out cold. Emma and Erica were asleep in Emma's room. Claire was shooting up some targets. John's bottle was on the table behind her. John was still in his room. Lisa was pacing with Lou. Dean took over and Lisa sank onto the bed. Dean sang softly to her and eventually she calmed down enough to go to sleep. He set her in the bassinet and got ready for bed. Lisa was already snoring. Dean shut his eyes and fell asleep. He woke when Lou did. Lisa woke long enough to start the feeding. Dean kept his hands on Lou to make sure nothing slipped, then stroked her back until she burped and smiled in her sleep.

* * *

Adam had breakfast going when Dean wandered in with the sleeping beauty in his arms. All Dean wanted was coffee. Adam snorted and slid a cup next to Dean. "You know… you can put babies down."

"Nope." Dean shook his head. "Gassiest baby on the planet. She stays in optimum burping and farting positions."

"She's gorgeous man."

"Yeah, she is." Dean inhaled the top of her head. "She smells so good."

"For now."

"Yeah, for now."

"I got bacon down, eggs for a dozen. Hot sauce on the table."

"I'll eat in a bit."

Dean ate standing up, rocking from foot to foot. Sam jerked his head to the side. Dean passed Lou to his father and finished his breakfast quickly before following Sam to the garage.

The drive was just long enough. Dean climbed out and looked around. The building was warded. Dean did a perimeter check anyway. Crowley was inside. He had a tablet. He started talking immediately. "I've had one of my techier demons trawling the webs for you since the reinstatement of Light. You have been… not busy. I expected more massacres and mayhem. If anything… it is lessening."

"What can I say? I'm my own man."

"Are you?" Crowley flipped through the pages. "A little birdie told me that Death has been hanging around you."

"I have the Mark. That might be… what's the word, Sam?" Dean turned to his brother.

Sam shrugged. "Prudent."

"Yeah. That." Dean snapped his fingers. "Prudent."

"Some of these… are quite artful." Crowley motioned. "Practiced. Comfortable." He looked at them. "Dean… are we seeing the beginnings of a Knight of Hell situation?"

"I don't answer to you."

"You have the mark. The mark locks the cage behind the cage. I'm in charge of the cage."

"Still don't answer to you."

"You won't get the blade."

"Good." Dean nodded to his brother. "Why did you really ask to see me?"

"Those damned birdies keep dropping off messages. Pesky little things." Crowley flicked the tablet's screen a few times. "Death is gone but he's had his successors and the Frenchy fellow doesn't play ball with me. Just a few angels on earth these days. My numbers are depleted. Set back one thousand years of progress in a single year. Cain left me alone as long as I left him alone."

"That could work for us, Crowley. You let me be me and I let you be you."

"What are your terms? Your… protected few."

"I can fend for myself." Sam cleared his throat.

"Sam's a given." Crowley ignored him. "Hear there's a…"

"You almost took her from me once… you do it again and the world ends." Dean bit out.

"I think we've had our fill of Darkness."

"My family is off limits. Winchesters, Campbells, Braedans, Sheriff Mills and her crew… Reids."

"That fucking bitch." Crowley made a face. "Should have known she was one of yours."

"Yeah. She's like family."

"Hunters, you're fucking ubiquitous." He inhaled a deep breath. "I'm immune from those same names. No Winchesters, Campbells, Braedans or Reids can have me on their hit list." They stared back at him. "And the Lovely Lady Mills and her wayward daughters. Happy?"

Sam inhaled and looked to Dean. Dean looked at his arm. It was starting to shake. Dean looked to Crowley. "Fine."

"Good. Now there's no stopping our never having to see each other again. No one riles you up and we never have to see Amara again."

Dean's head pounded and then the last year rolled into his mind. Amara. The intense pull to Amara that had replaced the pull of the Mark. The mark wanted to destroy but Amara had wanted to consume. Amara wanted to devour everything but him. She wanted to… absorb him through her skin.

Dean snapped out of it and gripped his arm. Sam moved toward him but stilled when Dean's eyes slid over to him. Sam's blood ran cold at the look. He actually took a step back. Then he rushed Dean across three traps.

"He's not a demon, Moose. Those traps won't work on him." Crowley reminded him.

"Get off." Dean bit out, gripping his own arms. Then he advanced on Crowley, his arms still in his hands. "Just remember who saved this God-damned planet. Without me, there is no Earth. Without Earth, there is no you." He sucked in a breath. "Go ahead, make me mad. Make me lose control. I am the only thing between you and the Darkness." Dean advanced. "I am the only thing between God and UnGod. Evil as you are… you cannot survive in the Darkness. Amara devours all, including the king of hell."

* * *

Sam took him out. Seedy part of town. Dean prowled and Sam kept his eyes on the steering wheel until Dean came back with blood on his knuckles. They went to a truckstop to clean up before going back to the bunker. They found Emma teaching Ben to fight. Dean could tell she was going easy on him but Ben struggled with it. Dean gestured and Sam went to help Ben.

Erica tumbled nearby. Dean could hear his father's voice booming through the door. He assumed Claire was also in there. Lisa and the baby were sleeping. Adam was just getting in himself. Dean ate and washed up. He didn't sleep. When Lisa woke to feed Lou, he took over for the burping. When the baby fell asleep, Dean finally slept.

Dean told Claire everything when he woke. She was sitting in one of the old cars when he found her. She listened, watched his hands. Steadier than she'd seen since they were hunting Pixies together. Claire looked at him. "Why did you do that?"

"I was the only one who could get close to her. I was the only thing she wanted to let live. She was going to unmake everything."

"And now you have that." She gestured to his arm.

"Yes and I'm handling it."

"Who did you kill last night?"

"Pedophile." Dean shrugged. "Best thing I could find."

"What happens when you run out of pedophiles and rapists and murderers?"

"I don't know but… as long as there are people, there will be crime. We locked the Darkness away but the Light doesn't reach everywhere. Hell, as long as I'm on the planet, I'll infect people myself. I'm the gateway to the darkest part of the universe."

* * *

Sam explained it to John and Lisa and Adam. They all tensed up. "Dean needs us. He only agreed to take it back in exchange for all of us. He needed us alive and within reach so he could ground himself."

"This is…" John stood to pace. "Why me?"

Sam's eyes filled with water. "If you had seen him… after you died… you wouldn't ask that. I know he's pissed at you right now but when you died… I was wrecked… Dean was destroyed." He sniffed. "Dean never recovered. I'm… I struggled to find the good memories but he kept… reaching for the bad ones for a long time. He wanted to hate you and he couldn't ever really do it… especially after what you told him before you died."

"Why am I here?" Adam pressed. "Dean's hardly known me at all."

"He only knew Emma for 20 minutes and he brought her back. Dean is all about family." Sam looked at Adam. "You were in the cage and that never sat right with any of us. I didn't know how much he hated me for what I did to Emma. I saved his life but… he was struggling and he might have let her kill him. He wanted her to need him."

"Sam…" Lisa touched his hand.

"I think she… might have been telling the truth that night, at least a little bit. I think about it… she never showed her eyes to him. I was the only one who saw them." Sam looked at Lisa and Adam. "I saw her eyes turning when she turned toward me and turning back when she turned toward him. She never showed him that part of her. I think he knew that… or understood it after I told him what I saw. All I saw was the monster…"

"Dean saw his daughter." John filled in. After what Sam had said about Dean's mourning for his dead dad, it was no wonder he had attempted to villianize his daughter so he could deal with her being gone. It was no wonder he had been stunned to see her alive. "I know Dean. He's my son and… had he known about Ben, he would have told me and he might have hedged but once he told me, he would have gone. He would have left us and been there for his son. Then Sam would have run away and… I wouldn't have been there to protect my boys."

Adam sat up. "Dean takes care of everyone in the family… and now he's agreed to take care of the world… the least his family can do is take care of Dean."

"You're right." John nodded.

"I'm so mad at him for…" Lisa shook her head and trailed off.

"Be mad at him. It's good for him." Sam snorted. "Keeps him humble."

"I miss the him he is when I'm not mad at him." Lisa sighed. "We have a baby. I didn't… what is Dean? Should he be able to have babies?"

"I never asked Cain. He never offered." Sam shrugged. "If he had children… they died millennia ago. He loved though. He had a wife in recent memory and her death… devastated him… She stabilized him." Sam motioned to the place. "Dean… has the capacity to love deeply… to a fault and he's been afraid to do it his whole life."

"What?" Adam looked at them all like they were crazy.

"Everyone that Dean has ever loved has left him. When we came back… he was scared to do it but he let himself. He knew what the mark would make him do and he kept finding reasons to stay in a place that is not his home." Sam's voice broke. "This is his home. It's the only place in the world that he… made a space for himself. That room you're sharing with him… he… decorated. He scoured this place for things he wanted in his room. He bought a mattress. A new one… for himself. This bunker is his home and he brought you all here because… he needs you all. He needs family. It's all that Dean has ever needed."

* * *

Claire sat with Dean while he did a once over on all the cars. John came in to help and they were all silent for a long time. Dean held still when his father walked up behind him and put his hands on his shoulders. Claire joined them and learned a few things from them both. Claire rounded up Ben and Emma to take lessons after a bit. She lingered so Emma wouldn't bolt. Eventually it was a one-on-one lesson on the Impala between Emma and her grandfather. They wouldn't be perfect but Emma wasn't giving him the cold shoulder anymore and he looked contrite.

She found Erica riding Adam's back as he carried boxes to and from one of the rooms. Sam was in the room with a tablet. She pitched in. Sam was scanning things into the tablet. Claire could work a scanner. Soon enough, Erica was in charge of the scanner and Claire renamed the images so Sam could sort them into their proper folders. It was calming.

Lisa helped for a bit while Dean took his turn with the baby. Dean let Ben and Emma go to a movie. Erica pouted when Claire wouldn't let her go. The three of them worked on making a few bracelets out of some molds that Sam had made. Dean quizzed Erica on her symbols and sigils. When her bracelet was done, he took her for a ride. She made him stop on the way back for twinkies. He humored her. She bought two boxes and wrote names on them with Dean's wax pencil. Mom and Pop-pop. She didn't even take one for herself. Dean walked her back through the bunker to find them. Claire took the box and set it down. She wiped at her eyes though they were barely wet. Erica found Pop-pop looking through the files Sam was about to put away. The done pile. He took the box from Erica and hauled her into his lap. Dean left them to it.

Dean took his shower and slipped into bed beside Lisa. She'd fallen asleep with her hand in the bassinet next to the bed. She rolled into him. He lay awake for a long time. Ben and Emma poked their heads in when they got back. Dean waved them off and shut his eyes. Everyone was back. Everyone was safe.

* * *

TBC


	29. Chapter 28 - I wish you could have known

Chapter 28 – I wish you could have known her

* * *

Claire took care of the baby while Dean and Lisa took a walk and had a long talk. Erica helped. She made faces at the dirty diapers. Then Emma came to take over. Claire brushed Erica's hair, "Well, little girl… do we want to go back to Battle Creek or do we want to go somewhere new?"

"But I have a real friend now."

"Yeah, you do. And he has a real friend now." Claire sighed. "We'll stay in Battle Creek."

"I want to take Tae Kwon Do with Ricky."

"Yeah, you should." Claire brushed Erica's hair into a ponytail. Then she braided it to tuck around itself. "I'm sorry that John and I are fighting. We'll get together when we get home and go shooting, okay?"

"Okay." Erica nodded and went to follow Emma and the baby around. John walked in and almost walked out. He sat next to her and pulled a twinkie out of his pocket. She took it.

They sat and watched Emma pace with the baby and Erica trail along after her. Claire opened the twinkie and tore it in half, gave John the other half. "We're staying in Battle Creek. Erica needs a place to call home."

"I think I'm staying here." He told her. "I think I'm better off leaving the heavy lifting to younger bodies. Adam and I are working out a phone system for Sam. Sam's getting his library uploaded on that tablet of his… says he can get a couple more going soon… for you and Dean."

"You going to be okay leaving it to the boys?"

"They do it just fine."

"They made a mess of things without you."

"But they kept each other alive."

"Have you heard the stories? They kept dying and coming back." She looked around at the bunker. "This place is amazing."

"On behalf of the family… you've got an open invitation… no matter what's going on with us."

"It's over, John. I don't have the patience for your shit anymore."

"I don't blame you."

"Not sober, you don't."

"Claire."

She looked at him. "No one calls you on your shit but I can't do it anymore, John. I just can't. I rather sleep alone the rest of my life than put up with another day of wondering what version of you I'm going to wake up to. Am I going to get the hunter who saved my life or the grump who taught me to hunt or the drunk still mourning his wife or the horny bastard just trying to get some touch?"

"It was stupid of me to try to hold you."

"No, it was stupid of you to think you didn't have to work to keep me." She met his surprised look. "I'm not the person I was when I first fell in love with you."

* * *

Dean could feel Lisa slip back into bed. The baby made noises in her sleep. Dean waited but Lisa didn't speak and he could tell she wasn't sleeping. It took a long while but she took a deep breath before she spoke. "Who is Amara?"

"Where'd you hear that name?"

"I overheard something. Who was she to you?"

"Amara… thing is… she is not… what you would call a woman. You're a woman. You are female, you look female, act female… you are a woman. Amara… could be considered female. She looks female, acts a bit feminine. She's Chuck's sister… but she's not a woman. She… predates woman. She predates the invention of the human soul."

"Dean."

"She is God's sister. She is the Darkness. The mark on my arm… was given to Cain because he was the first murderer. Before him… Lucifer wore it… that was before he was locked in the cage. Before Lucifer wore it… he… he was just an angel. One of God's favorites. God… wanted to make something that would… be extraordinary and would… self-perpetuate. Amara is… the ultimate destroyer and she wanted me to… exist inside her… because I let her out. She um… wanted me to give in."

"Did you want to?"

"I did… and I didn't." Dean took her hand. "When I was with Sam, with anyone else… I knew she had to be locked back up. But when she was in front of me, saying my name… I wanted to give her all of me. She promised me eternal bliss and I…"

"You wanted it but you didn't think you deserved it."

"I guess."

"Did you take that thing back because you think you deserve to be punished?"

"It's not that simple."

"Why'd you come to me?"

"I just wanted to see you again… I really didn't plan the rest of this."

"But somebody did?"

"I think so."

"Higher power?"

"Yeah."

"Chuck?"

"I don't know anymore."

"Are we safe?"

"Yes."

"How do you know?"

"I have a deal with the devil… or the current devil. Our family is safe so long as I don't go upsetting the delicate balance. That's what keeps the world turning. Balance."

"It's not fair. It's not fair that we don't get to have something normal. It's not fair that our kids will have no choice. And we just had a baby who will grow up…"

"She'll grow up with people who know what they're doing and she'll learn to defend herself and she'll grow up."

* * *

Sam took his father for a long drive. He was drinking a fair bit but not being an asshole. They made it overnight and John didn't ask where they were going. They ate at a diner. John sighed heavily. He stared out the window. Sam finally let himself ask the questions he'd had since first meeting Claire in that parking lot years ago. "So, Dean told me that when you were first together, it was the real deal. You and Claire, what… I know what she said but… I'm supposed to be on your side."

"Here you go." The waitress put a bottle of ketchup on the table and went on her way.

"You want the story?" John sighed and picked at his burger. "I was out of my mind. Your brother went missing on me and after you took off… I was a hair from blind panic. He was out the door. He was… he was going to leave me, too." He took a bite of his burger and studied the buildings across the street. "I wasn't looking for a girlfriend… I saved her. I was still trying to look for Dean but she was hysterical and it was dark… I was just going to drop her at the hospital and I know I'm not known for my bedside manner but that backwoods hospital was going to fuck it all up… so I stayed. I made my calls and helped them treat her wounds. They were going to ship her off to the nuthouse… I gave her an option. I was just… I needed to regroup and…"

"What?"

"You boys are flip when you say I have a type but… maybe I do. I should have left her but I let her come with me to Bobby's while I kept researching and trying to find your brother. It was… the evidence. She had these… designs cut into her skin and I took them all down and I remembered… My cock works."

Sam snorted. "How old was she then?"

"30 or so, maybe a bit younger." John picked at his fries and motioned for Sam to pour him some ketchup when his son served himself. "She was useful. Gave me an alibi in front of some cops. She was a quick study. Knew how to handle guns even if she didn't remember. It was gradual. More of a… I wasn't trying and she offered and… my cock works."

"Did a lot of people know her? That you were with her?"

"I guess. Pastor Jim knew, Bobby, I think… Caleb, of course… Jeff, probably…"

"Pastor Jim knew?"

"We stayed with him for a bit. He liked her."

"When did it go wrong?"

John laughed and turned his eyes back to the window. He shrugged. "Things got intense. It's so hard to have a good fight when one of you can't talk but we did. I started having nightmares, of her dying, same way your mother died… on the ceiling."

"Excuse me, I'll refill that." The waitress leaned over the table and then disappeared again.

"Um, so… I think Dean told me that."

"It was getting deep and it scared the shit out of me and I do… what I apparently do… tried to get her leave me… but she was deep in it, too and… had designs on what she wanted. That scared the shit out of me. Having one illegitimate child… I hardly saw Adam and him being normal was… I couldn't do it again with someone who wasn't going to settle down. I knew that the bug had Claire. She'd hunt forever."

Sam didn't know what to say to that. He watched his father rub his fingers together and stare out the window, not even bothering with his food anymore. Then he cleared his throat. "I never thought I deserved someone like her, you know."

"Even after all she's been through?"

"Your mom… I don't want to talk about Claire, anymore."

"Oh." Sam picked at his fries. "You never talk about her."

"I know." John nodded. "We… knew each other from around. Her folks hated me. I never thought… it makes sense now but…"

"I met Grandpa. He… only ever wanted her to be happy."

"Without me but I guess… it wasn't ideal if this was the life they were leading."

"He wasn't impressed with Dean. Dean was pushing to do things the Winchester way."

"What did he think of you?"

"Well, I didn't have a soul at the time so I scared the shit out of him. He never met Demon Dean though. That's a scary character." Sam watched his father shift his burger on his plate. "What do you think they would have thought if they had known about your father?"

"I still don't know what to think about it… to think I would have been in this life anyway." John shook his head. "I thought he left me behind. He died." John shook his head again.

"You died. You left us behind." Sam gently reminded him. "We didn't have a clue what we were getting into and we… fucked it up."

"You did the best you could and you kept each other alive."

"Most of the time."

"Well… I didn't do much better."

"We learned a lot from you… and your journal and the people who knew you."

"Bobby, I bet." John sat back and stared out the window. "You try and you try and you keep your kids safe and all you get for it is a couple of ingrates who hate your guts."

"We… feel different about you now."

"I bet."

"We didn't always get along with Bobby either. We didn't always agree with him and he didn't always agree with us." Sam shrugged. "Dean was his favorite, too."

"Bobby… felt I was too hard on you boys and maybe he was right. He got Dean to do things I never could and it was by doing things I never let Dean do."

"You were always fighting with Bobby." Sam mused. "Because we liked him."

"I guess."

"He had something you wanted… our attention and you had something he wanted… a family." Sam sniffed. "It's all we ever wanted… not the family we were… the family we were supposed to be."

"I wish you could have known her."

"I've… met her enough times that I agree. I'd like to have known her better."

"Fellas, your food is not getting any warmer. I hope nothing's wrong." Their waitress appeared with their ticket. "You need anything else, let me know."

John waved her off without looking, kept his eyes on the window. "What are we doing here, son?"

Sam held back a grimace. "Campbell Compound is outside of town. I have some stuff back at the bunker but a good deal of it is still out there."

"They were organized?"

"Far better than you ever were." Sam enjoyed the dig a little. "Grandpa Henry would have liked them a bit, I think… except that they were hunters."

"He didn't like hunters…"

"He was… much more refined than I figured anyone who we could call your father would be."

"I wish I had known him." John returned to his meal.

The waitress zipped by with more refills. Sam ordered dessert. John wasn't going to eat the pie. Sam seemed to enjoy himself so immensely that John took a half-hearted bite and his world nearly caved in. He was thirty and his wife was barefoot and baking, his boys were taking a nap and John was negotiating for day sex. He took another bite and savored it.

"How's the pie, fellas?"

"I think Dad's about to propose to it." Sam laughed. "It's really good."

"Glad to hear."

John took a breath. "I haven't had apple pie like this since 1982." He could feel his eyes filling up as he reached for his napkin… it was filthy.

"Here, have a new one." The waitress pulled a fresh napkin out of her apron. When John looked up to take it, he froze. "Thanks for the compliment on the pie. He just let me start baking them for the rack."

"Mary?" John stared at her. 29 years old… 30 if she came back when the rest of them had.

"Do I know you?" She blinked at him.

He ran his hand over three day old stubble, hair he hadn't cut since Claire kicked him out of her house, so many scars that Erica had connected them all in his sleep one morning. She wouldn't recognize him so he did the only thing he could. He pulled out his wallet. He stared at the picture for a long time while the tears leaked out of his eyes. Then he handed it to her.

She looked at it and her entire body froze. She looked at him, then at Sam and then back at the picture. "Where did you get this?"

"Been in my wallet since we bought that house." John wiped at his eyes. "Wallets have changed but that picture goes with me everywhere. I got a copy soon as I knew where to find one."

She reached over and grabbed his left hand. Nothing.

He cleared his throat. "I think one of the kids has it."

"Dean does." Sam offered.

"Dean?" She looked to Sam.

"I'm Sam." His eyes just as wet as his father's.

"We… We should go somewhere." She turned with the picture in her hand. "Saul! Emergency. I have to go!"

Sam laid down triple the check and they all walked out of the diner. Mary froze at the sight of the car. She tilted her head. "Where's the… Chevy?"

"That's Dean's car, now." Sam answered while he watched his father flounder for movement.

"So, he's alive?" She whirled on Sam.

"Let's so somewhere and talk." Sam motioned her to the passenger door.

The drive was a little longer than Sam remembered. He saw that it had been disturbed a bit since he and Dean were last there. Mary let them in and turned, clearing her throat. "How did you know to come here?"

"Long story." Sam studied the inside that looked different. "We know… about your family."

"Where are they?"

"All the hunters we met are gone. Their spouses and children are out there, I guess. I haven't run into them in last five years."

"There are other compounds." Mary breathed. "This was my grandfather's favorite."

Inside, Mary made coffee and Sam examined the area she'd cleaned up to make her home. Saw the angel figurine over her bed. He looked to his father, who was still examining the hunter parts of the compound. He hadn't stopped crying. Then Mary started to fill the silence. "I came to about a year ago near Lawrence. A couple found me, gave me blankets, took me to the police station. I hid in a bathroom until night shift and broke into the records room. That's how I knew what happened. I tried to find you all but there weren't many real leads. You cover your tracks well. So… I came here. This is what I know if I'm…"

"What have you been doing… aside from waitressing?" Sam asked gently.

"Watching for signs. Reading newspapers, trying to get in contact with any Campbells I could trust but there weren't many of those in the first place. Sorry about your mom, John." Mary stared at him. "How old are you?"

"About 10 years younger than I should be." John took a seat. "This secret…"

"I know you must be mad at me."

"I'm not." John looked around. "I figured it out but I didn't know it was this big… this organized."

"I tried to put it behind me and… when my parents died… I figured it was done."

"You forget about your uncle?" John bit out. "He came to see me… tried to take the boys… tried to convince me that I was crazy… he died not long after." He motioned around the place. "You tried to put this place behind you and I jumped into it, raised our boys in it. They're so good at it. How many times you boys save the world?"

"I've lost count." Sam shrugged and sipped his coffee.

"Lost count." John sighed and wiped the wet from his face. "Jesus Christ."

"Where is Dean?" Mary hugged herself.

"He's safe." John cleared his throat. "I… apparently, have an interesting family tree. There's a bunker in Kansas… my dad was a Man of Letters. Dean's there with his family."

"Dean has a family." Mary's face shuttered over for a moment. "He's married?"

Sam laughed and shrugged. "Marriage is not Dean's style."

Her eyes popped open. "Are you married?"

"Romance has not worked out for me." Sam shook his head. "Too many dead girlfriends." He cleared his throat. "Dean's girlfriend has two kids and he's got another one from… anyway."

"I have three grandchildren?" Mary breathed in and out. "They're beautiful aren't they."

"They are." John nodded. "We'll take you but I gotta tell you something first. Sam… please."

John waited until Sam had taken his coffee elsewhere. "Didn't an Angel tell you where to go? When you woke up?"

"No." Mary shook her head. "I woke alone… in a night gown."

"So did Emma." John sighed. "She's… Dean's daughter. Looks just like you." He sniffed. "Look… I uh…"

She took a breath. "Did you remarry?"

"No."

"But you don't do well when you're alone…" She pointed out. "I figured there'd be… another woman in your life. I hoped for it. I didn't want you to be alone." She saw the look on his face. "I'm not now, nor I have ever been your innocent bride, John. It's the way the world works. People move on after their… spouses die."

"I… didn't allow much room for it." He told her, truthfully. "When the boys were young… I tried it. She was… possessed by a demon who wanted Sam. Dean and I saved both their lives. Put me off romance for a bit."

"But not sex." She led him.

Then he blurted it out. "I have another son… he's at the bunker."

"You took someone's son?"

"No… I…" John sighed. "You'd been gone a long time. I made mistakes. I raised our boys to hunt… I didn't know about him until he was grown. I didn't want to drag him in… That… demon who came into our house planned big. We killed that demon but… the plan was still in motion. Our boys got swept up in it and… then Adam got dragged into it… and he was already dead if I understand the story correctly."

"Jesus."

"Yeah." John poured himself some coffee. "Sam and Adam got locked in the pit with the Archangels Lucifer and Michael. Dean was alive and alone. He doesn't… do alone well. Like his old man that way, I suppose. Lisa… she's good for him. Around that time… Sam met your father, been brought back. Lot of things went down that I wouldn't have done but I'd been gone a long while by that time. Angels are real. They've watched over us… you and me specifically to make our kids so they could end the world but our boys wouldn't let it end. We raised men who are strong enough to save the world over and over…"

"John, what is it?"

"It's Dean. One of the things he did to save the world was take the Mark of Cain. Once the world was safe, they tried to get rid of it but Cain was dead and there was no one else to take it. I don't know what happened since then but he's taken it back… on purpose. He's got his little girl resurrected. He's got Lisa and Ben and the baby is here… it's… overwhelming."

"What are you hedging about, John?"

"We took everyone to the bunker because our boys got word the new devil was looking for Dean. Bunker's full of folk. They got some deal hammered out and we're all on the safe list…" John poured himself a second cup. "Until a few months ago, I wasn't alone, Mary."

She nodded, eyes averted. "She's there. Your girlfriend."

"Yeah. Good friend of the family… of Dean's and his girlfriend's."

"John… I've been dead for 35 years."

"Do you have someone? Since you been back?"

"I did… for a few months. It didn't work out. He wanted a family and I'm done with family." She gripped her hands. "I… didn't know if it would be okay to…" she reached for him slowly. Then she was inside his arms. "I've missed you, John."

"I never thought I'd get to hold you again." He sobbed.

* * *

Dean watched Adam spar with Emma and Ben. Emma was teaching them. Lisa was in bed… recuperating from moving furniture. Claire had the baby and Erica was building a fort in Dad's room. Dean rested with his eyes and ears open. He had a laptop on in front of him, a western on mute. He listened to Adam tell of his adventures with their Uncle Sam. Heard Ben lament about some girl he was dating. Emma made faces when asked about her dates. No one mentioned Heather McDaniels.

He must have dozed off. He woke to find the room empty. Claire greeted him when he wandered into the kitchen. "Hey Dean, nice nap?" She laughed and slid a plate in front of him. "Everyone else has eaten. Lisa's got the kids in the library. They're playing a board game."

Dean sat and ate. Claire joined him. He waited. She didn't talk. "What?"

"I'm going to take Erica and go, soon. Tomorrow, actually."

"Cause of Dad?"

"Sam called when you were asleep." Claire cleared her throat. "He wasn't sure before but they found her. Your mom. They're bringing her back. I figured I'd take Erica on a roadtrip. Meet some of those hunters you were talking about. Build my network."

"You don't have to."

"I should, though."

"I think she'd like you."

"Maybe."

* * *

TBC


	30. Chapter 29 - A world I want to protect

Chapter 29 – A world I want to protect

* * *

Claire pulled up to Sioux Falls and had a look around. It was different than she remembered. She wasn't under a fog of pills and trauma. She got them a room and took her kid to get some food. Erica was petulant. They did the falls and Erica ran as fast as she dared, which meant Claire hurried after her just to keep her in line of sight. She looked around and it was just like Emma described it. It was beautiful.

Then it was time to go and Erica was being petulant. That ended with Claire setting up camp at the base of a tree to wait her out. Then the cops came out to get them both out of the park. They hauled Claire in. She sighed and endured booking. She shut her eyes. "Any chance there's a Sheriff Jody Mills around?"

That got her sent to a cell until a stern and attractive woman came shrugging at her. "Do I know you?"

"You know a couple of chuckleheads who keep digging their graves deeper every year. Sam and Dean." Claire stared up at her. "I was passing through, took my girl on a hike, she decided to climb a tree to punish me for the trip."

"You're the other Claire. Dean told me about you." Jody took a seat on the other side of the cell. "Your girl is giving my deputies hell, right now."

"She would have come down in about an hour. I wasn't putting her in danger. Truth be told, if she wanted, she could have incapacitated your deputies and hoofed it to the nearest biker bar if she wanted to get away from me."

"What in the world would a child that young do at a biker bar?"

"Complain to the bartender that I was torturing her and then he'd get her a ride to New Mexico to her sainted Uncle Pete who would hold onto her until I got there."

"Raising her in the life is what Dean said."

"Trying to."

"Why she so mad?"

"She's in love with Ben and he's too old for her. He's her best friend and now he's got two sisters and he's too busy to play with her."

"Ah." Jody looked her over. "How is the family doing?"

Claire bit her lip and felt her nostrils flared out as she said it in front of someone she didn't need to hold back with. "They found Mary, Dean and Sam's mother, she's back. I had to get out of there."

"Oh. So…"

"John and I called it quits months ago but…" she wiped at her eyes. "Erica's too young to understand all that. I just couldn't be there when they brought her home."

"You got a place to stay?"

"We got a room in town."

"I'll cut you lose. You come to dinner tomorrow. I'll have the girls make dinner and we can drink. I'm sure you've got better stories than those two chuckleheads."

* * *

Dean paced the garage, waiting. Emma watched him from the motorcycle parked nearby. "Uncle Sam said they were 20 minutes out."

"That was 20 minutes ago." Dean bit out.

"He said she doesn't remember anything since she died." Emma shrugged. "Or… know anything? Guess she can't remember stuff she was dead for."

"Yeah." Dean nodded. "I've… had a dozen conversations with her since then. She doesn't remember them."

"She died when you were little?"

"I was four. I would have been five in… three months."

"That's little."

"Even younger when you consider the hardest thing I'd had to deal with til then was a baby brother."

Then the car pulled in. Dean spun around and made himself wait. She climbed out of the backseat, just the way he remembered her. She stared at him. "God, you're older than me."

"Mom." Dean rushed to her and wrapped her in his arms.

"Oh baby…" Mary held him tight.

"Dean, how about we introduce Mom to her grandchildren?" Sam cleared his throat.

"Just give us a minute." Mary told him. Her voice was colored with tears but Dean wasn't letting go.

Finally, Dean let go. Dean grabbed her hand, pulling her along. "This is Emma."

"I guess she does favor her father's side." Mary looked her over. "I was expecting a much younger girl."

"I'm only 4." Emma shrugged.

"Emma is Amazon on her mother's side." Dean briefly explained.

"Amazons are real." Mary shook her head. "Wow."

"They age differently." Dean added.

"I almost forgot." Mary took the pan when Sam handed it to her. "Dean, I'm told you like pie."

"Dad loves pie." Emma answered for him.

The family made it into the library. Ben and Adam were waiting. John made the introductions. "Mary, this is Adam, my son. And… Ben… our oldest grandchild."

"Is this what Dean looked like at that age?" Mary looked him over. "You look like him."

"Where's Lis?" Dean asked him.

"Lou got hungry." Ben answered. His face in the hands of his grandmother, who looked younger than his mother.

"He's so tall." Mary breathed. "17?"

"Not for a while yet." Dean motioned her to come with him. He took the fork when Sam appeared with it. Dean led his mother through the bunker to his room. He knocked lightly before opening the door. "Lis?"

"Is she here?" Lis sat up and brushed her hair back.

"Yeah." Dean opened the door wider. "Mom… this is Lisa. Lisa… my mom. Mary."

"Hi." Mary kept her voice low and sat on the bed near to wearing Lisa was nursing. "She's precious."

"When she's sleeping." Lisa winced.

"How old?"

"Three months."

"Her name is Mary Louisa." Dean interjected. "We call her Lou."

"I call her Lou. Dean wanted to call her Ousier." Lisa made a face at him.

"What's that?" Mary frowned.

"She's never seen it." Dean reminded Lisa. "You can get her to watch it with you. I'm not falling for it again."

* * *

John sat at the library table and waited. It never came. He looked to Adam when the boy was passing through. "Where's… Erica?"

Adam stopped and leaned on a chair. "You really think Claire was going to stick around for the great reunion?"

"I didn't tell her we were coming back."

"No, but Sam did… because Sam is thoughtful. I thought about ducking out myself but I was curious."

"Where did she go?" John asked softly.

"She, and your stash of twinkies, left and didn't say where. Just said she was going to ramble around with Erica for the summer."

"Okay."

"Do you have to be such an asshole all the time?"

"I guess I'll have to learn a new trick."

* * *

Jody sighed happily watching the girls run around the back yard. They were grown but Claire and Alex were no match for a nine year old hunter. "She's precious when she's still."

"Dean told me you had a boy… before you knew about hunting." Claire sipped her wine.

"I did. Don't know what I would have done with him and these two… course if he was still with me, I never would have met Dean or Sam or those two."

"I had a boy. I can't imagine him now. 15 years old. That one is nine going on 30."

"Oh yeah?"

"Got her husband picked out and everything."

"You're cuter than I thought you'd be. That father of theirs must be an Adonis."

"And he doesn't know it." Claire sighed and nodded to Jody's look of astonishment. "First time I met John, I was too traumatized to really look at him. His eyes got me and they got me through the ER and the hospital. First time I really looked at him… He was working on his truck… in Bobby's driveway… swatting Rumsfeld away from his beer. The shirt had come off and it was the first inkling of a positive sexual feeling I'd had since my attack."

"Dean glossed over the… Pixies."

"Yeah. He… I had John, afterward. With the amnesia and the trauma… Dean was alone. All he had was the car."

"I didn't know you knew Bobby." Jody cleared her throat.

"That's where John took me to heal up… and so he could focus on finding Dean. I think he figured Bobby would take care of me and that would be that."

"Bobby was not known for his bedside manner."

"No, he wasn't. Neither is John but I kept getting in the truck and he kept driving me around."

Jody looked her over. "You didn't want to stay… I mean… You weren't curious? About the missus?"

"I'm fucking curious. She'd have to be bad ass to handle him. She's gotta be eight feet tall and clad from head to toe in leather and can crush steel with her bare hands… all the while holding out her pinkie fingers and sitting like a lady."

Jody laughed. "I like you."

Erica took a running leap into Claire's lap. "Mom. Can I show them how to do a double tuck off the shed?"

"No," Claire shook her head. "Hey, you got any pictures of Pop-pop?

"Uh-huh." Erica turned in Claire's arms, feet propped on the patio table while she pulled her phone out and found the pictures. Claire handed the phone to Jody.

"Jesus." Jody shook her head. "Dopey and Mopey got nothing on that man. Look at that smile."

"And that's not even the one he uses when he's trying to get you in bed." Claire shook herself off. "I need to find someone else if only to cleanse the palate."

"I want to go home." Erica whined. "I want to play with Ricky."

"Ricky is going to camp." Claire tried to tame the wild blonde hair. "He'll be home by July and then you can play with Ricky all day long."

"Are we going to be at home in July?"

"I promised and we will."

"Is Ben going to come home?"

"Yeah. He will. He's meeting his grandmother right now."

"Are Pop-pop and Dean's Mom still married if she died?"

Jody barked out a laugh. "Wow, that kid can ask some tough questions."

Claire sighed. "That's complicated. I'm sure we'll find out when everyone goes home before school starts."

"Emma said Pop-pop was being mean to her."

"I know." Claire stroked her hair out of her face. "Pop-pop gets sad sometimes. He drinks too much and forgets who he's talking to. He gets real mean and he doesn't mean it and he's so ashamed, it's hard for him to say he's sorry."

"But…"

"I know. I miss him, too. Dean and Mary will take care of Pop-pop, now."

"Is Dean going to marry Lisa?"

"I don't know." Claire let Erica bury her face in her neck. "I do know, that he was never going to marry me." She tickled Erica's sides. That got a giggle. "I do know that Mommy is done having babies… cause you are my everything." That got a groan. "And I do know that Ben is still your friend and I do know that Lisa will still have you over whenever you want."

"What if she doesn't like me?"

"Who?"

"Dean's mom."

"It won't fucking matter." Claire sat Erica up. "Dean loves you. Sam loves you. Adam loves you. Lisa loves you. They all love you. If Mary doesn't love you, she's crazy and we don't need that in our lives. I never met anyone who doesn't love you."

"Does Pop-pop still love me?"

"Yeah. He does." Claire sighed. "We're all still friends. We'll still see everyone. I promise."

"Kay." Erica ran off to rejoin the girls who were crowded over Alex's phone.

"She's… milking that for all it's worth." Jody commented.

"I know. She's a manipulative little shit." Claire sipped her wine. "She learns fast. Emma pulled that crap with John and Dean all the time. She doesn't dare with me and Lisa, though."

Jody laughed. "Those boys… How is Sam doing? I haven't seen him."

"He's thrown himself into his work. He's doing okay. He and Adam are trying to update his database so that hunters have a better reference."

"He is ambitious."

"Or realistically thinking about our lifespan."

"Where's Erica's dad?"

"Passed away a few months after she was born. Demon… looking for John." Claire inhaled a deep breath. "Or me… I don't even know anymore. I raised that baby on the road and I finally sit still long enough to give her a shot at a normal life and then Dean brings his cursed mark back into it. Winchesters causing upheaval in my life."

"But you adore him."

"I do. Dean and I… bonded after that Pixie. John was there. He saw but Dean went through it just like I did."

"That foxhole stuff."

"Right." She sighed heavily. "I keep thinking that if Dean and I had ended up in the same place, the whole thing would have ended up differently. My whole life would have gone differently."

"Would you change it?"

Claire watched her girl showing up the teenagers and laughed. "Not a chance. I miss Caleb. He gave me my second chance at motherhood."

* * *

John escorted Mary to a room. It was bare but Sam had made the bed and looked like he'd stolen a couple of Dean's pillows. She sat on the edge of the bed. "I never wanted them in this life."

"I guess not." John nodded to himself and leaned on the desk. "Without you… all I saw… was the dark stuff. I tried to keep them safe." He breathed out heavily.

"I'm sorry." Mary licked her lips. "He killed everyone and he said I could have you back. I didn't know."

"I didn't remember. It would come to me, though. I felt wrong. That's why I left. It's why I came back. That night… I had a dream I died. Shook me up. I went downstairs to watch TV, get it out of my head." John shook his head. "I keep thinking that if I had been upstairs, I would have got to you in time."

"You wouldn't have." Mary shook her head. "I wasn't supposed to go in. I was supposed to let him do whatever he was going to do. I didn't sell my soul. I just… gave him permission to come in… seven years before we bought that house."

"So much death… I've seen too much. I thought Vietnam fucked me up…"

"I know. I know what the life of a hunter does to you. It's why I wanted to leave it. It's why I wanted you. You saw things over there and you still believed in us, in love, in life. I needed it."

"I'm not the man you married."

"I know… and I'm afraid I never was the woman you married."

"My room is… down the way. One of the kids made signs for us. They'll probably make you one, too."

* * *

Dean rocked the baby and hummed softly. Lisa was snoring in bed. He could make out Ben and Emma laughing at a movie in Ben's room. Adam's music was on. Sam was in the library, flipping pages. Mom and Dad had stopped talking. Maybe Dad was drinking. Mom was pacing. No one was getting much sleep tonight.

Once everyone was asleep, Dean walked through the bunker. He sat across from Sam. Sam glanced at him, then looked away, his eyes were wet. Dean braced himself and motioned for Sam to speak. Sam cleared his throat. "I remembered something about before. I remember Chuck and me… talking about the mark and how I was going to take it."

Dean frowned and looked at his arm. "Then… but…"

"Something about you being tainted. Like… once you gave it away, you wouldn't be able to take it back. That was the plan."

"What went wrong?"

"She was stronger than he thought. He had a plan and it would have worked, barely… if she was only as strong as he remembered but… she was angry."

"What did I do?"

"She… you distracted her, you held her focus… you were the only one who could get close enough to take the Mark. I tried to… but I couldn't get through. I was supposed to do this for our family."

"But I took it. I did." Dean took a breath. "And Chuck gave me everyone I'd need to make the transition."

"Yeah… and he's still giving you more. They just keep popping up."

"He's giving me a world I want to protect."

"What did she promise you?"

"Who?"

"Her."

"It wasn't about that." Dean shook his head and looked down at the mark. "It was… we were connected and what she felt isn't what I felt. I… she wanted to complete me and I wanted to feel complete… those weren't the same things."

"Do you… now?"

"I'm close to it. I know it's… fragile. Lisa is tolerating me. It's better than nothing."

"Mom and Dad are strangers to each other." Sam pointed out.

"No one says they have to be together… but it would be nice."

* * *

Lisa was sorting laundry when she saw John in the morning. He was showered, face shaved and shirt tucked in. "Good morning, handsome."

"Morning." John nodded to her. He just stood there for a long time, eyes on his shoes.

"Dean looks like her." She commented just to break the silence.

"Yeah." He nodded. "She's… young."

"Oh?"

"She was nearly 30 when she passed and…"

"You're closer to 60."

"Yeah."

"Well, you look good for 60."

John gave her a smile and then glanced around, "Know where she is?"

"Adam is screening Steel Magnolias for her and Emma. They're on Lou watch."

"Where's Dean?"

"Sleeping. He and Sam were up late last night."

"Um…" John tapped his fingers on the table. "If… um…"

"If Mary asks about Claire, I won't go into details. I promise." Lisa reassured him.

"If you could go easy on my… rougher nature, too."

"Huh… well… I'm the only one who hasn't had to deal with it so… your secret is safe with me." She gathered the clean laundry to take to their respective owners. She could feel him following behind her. When they joined the trio in Adam's room, Adam was slumped against the wall, snoring. Emma and Mary had their heads tilted at the screen in confusion. Lisa sat next to Emma. "What's wrong?"

"What do they do with their time? It's just parties and babies."

Mary laughed and laid her hand on Emma's arm. "I was just thinking that. I would hate living like one of these women."

"It's not so bad." Lisa scoffed. "I didn't much enjoy Dean's hunting days when Ben was younger… but it did make life so much more interesting."

"This movie could use a monster or two." Mary sighed and sat back, her hand landing on the baby's belly next to her.

"Dad took me out for a werewolf. I met his friend Garth. We had a great time. This movie should have a werewolf." Emma added.

"He what?" Lisa bit out.

"He said he killed his first werewolf when he was 16." Emma defended her father's decision to take her out hunting dangerous creatures.

"You're four."

"I am chronologically four."

"And really one."

"But…"

"I was 14." Mary told them. "I hated it. I wanted to go to a football game with my friends."

John stared at her. "14."

"You let Dean hunt a werewolf at 16."

"That was his first solo werewolf. I'd had him at five werewolf hunts before that, just watching."

"I'm better with a bow and arrow than anyone." Emma stood up.

"Cause it's in your blood. I trained that boy." John shook his head at her.

"It is in his blood." Mary pointed out.

* * *

TBC


	31. Chapter 30 - Dude your grandma is 30

Chapter 30 – Dude, your grandma is 30.

* * *

"You were such a nervous little boy." Mary talked through her fingers. "Look at you. Changing diapers like a pro, settling teenagers with a glance… a father, hunter."

"What have you been doing the last year?" Dean asked her as he finished up with Lou's diaper.

"I went on a tour of my old friends, hunter friends. They were all dead. I ended up at Grandad's compound and got a job. Looked like it'd been used a few years back. I figured folk would be back through. No one ever came."

"Met some of our cousins. They didn't much like me." Dean settled his girl against his shoulder.

"They don't much like anyone. It's a miracle Campbells didn't go the way of the Shakers."

"Have you talked to Sam much?"

"I think I scare him. He mostly stares. He's so tall." Mary smiled to herself. "I imagine your dad hated that."

"A bit." Dean nodded. "Sam loved it when he realized he was getting taller than Dad." He looked away. "They fought a lot."

"About what?"

"Everything."

"How about you?"

"Sam and I fight about stuff… Dad… I followed orders."

"I didn't want him doing that." She frowned. "They get like that… when they come home. Your father's not the only one. Watched it happen in my friend's families."

"Other former Marines weren't hunting demons and trying to keep their kids from getting murdered by every creature in the countryside."

"I met a cute family, they live in our house now." Mary took a breath and shifted the subject. "It looks almost the same. I could tell where things were put back together, though."

"How are they? The family? Mom and two kids."

"Good. The girl's going off to college in the fall. Handsome little boy." She looked at him, really looked at him. "You've been back?"

"Few times. Try not to go back. I'm good most of the time… doing what we do. I'm okay with fire, probably be considered a pyro by some but… In that house…"

"There's a house on the other side of town. Where my parents lived. I, uh… broke down and cried my eyes out. Felt like I was 18 again and I'd just lost them."

"Sorry I left so soon after."

"What?" She picked up her head to look at him. Then she really looked at him. "Dean Van Halen." She breathed out. "I blamed you for all that."

"It… was always going to be that way." Dean breathed out. "A lot of things were… preordained."

"Why?"

"The end of the world… but then… we didn't let it. Sam and I and Adam stopped it and… it's been a crazy free-for-all ever since. The world keeps threatening to end and we pull it back."

"Honey, you can't do it by yourself."

"I know." He nodded. "Sam and I have been doing this alone for a while. Dad died 10 years ago and we lost Bobby a few years back. It's hard to trust new people."

"So you got all the people you could trust back." She took a deep breath. "What do we need to do?"

"Just be here. This keeps me calm. Having family around to take care of… having monsters to kill… not doing it alone."

Dean took the phone when Lisa shoved it at him. He nodded and agreed. "You're right, Susannah, I'm an asshole. I knocked up your daughter and stole her away into the night… Susannah… Sus… Sus… They're all fine! All of them! … It was spur of the moment, everyone getting together… Ben and Emma are getting to know each other and my parents… they got two uncles… everyone wants to see the baby… and you got your turn." He listened to the litany of curse words. "I am bringing them home… eventually."

Lisa sat down to play with her daughter. "Hi honey. Hi honey. Your grandma's crazy. Yes, she is."

"I'm not that bad." Mary spoke from the doorway.

"My mother, not you." Lisa grinned. "I need to get this little lady some sunshine today. I'm dying for some yoga outside."

"Yoga."

"I'll show you. Emma loves it."

"God dammit, Susannah, don't call the fucking cops. It's family vacation!" Dean bellowed into the phone. "It is too my God damn family."

"This is going to go on a while." Lisa bundled up the baby. "I've dealt with it weekly til now. It's his turn. Grab the diaper bag and that big blanket."

Adam helped them get up the stairs and kept watch for his brothers while they played with the baby and Lisa did some yoga. Emma and Ben helped Mary with her positions. They looked like they were having fun. Emma showed off. She walked on her hands in circles around the group. When Dean rushed up the stairs, Adam held his hand out. "They're fine. They're just having fun. Weather's nice out."

"Oh." Dean watched them for a bit. He laughed at Emma's antics. She was funny. Then Ben joined her. Mary about died laughing. Lisa landed in a sprawl next to the baby to watch them. Lou kept trying to see what was going on. Mary scooped Lou up to show her around the lot.

"You're so beautiful. You look just like your daddy, just like him. I could eat you up!"

"Your mom's hot." Adam told Dean.

"That's gross, kid." Dean nudged him.

"Your wife's hot."

"We're not married."

"Does it really matter?"

"What are you going to do with yourself?" Dean asked him. "You don't have to do this."

"John wasn't around at all… a couple of birthdays and right now, he's mostly pissing me off, but I think we're building a real rapport now."

"You got a girl. She pretty?"

"Course. This face?" Adam pointed to his chin. "Please."

"She in it for the long haul?" Dean tested.

"Naw… She's good for now. Not looking to get serious." Adam shook his head. "I don't have any good role models but I know when it's temporary."

"You like her."

"Shut up." Adam whapped him.

"Boys." John nudged them apart, hair combed, new belt buckle.

Adam leaned into Dean. "I don't want to alarm you but it looks like… your dad is asking your mom out on a date."

"Maybe." Dean watched his father stumble over the words and the kids shamelessly leaned closer to hear.

Lisa found Dean's eyes with hers and jerked her head to the side. He shrugged. Then they watched John take the baby and Mary make her way inside. She pinched both Dean's and Adam's cheeks as she went.

Lisa got them all back inside. They watched John take Sam's keys and Mary and disappear into the garage.

* * *

Emma commandeered Dean for a one-on-one pie session. Adam intruded. They let him. Emma scooped ice cream into bowls of reheated pie. "Grandma asked me about boys."

Dean almost choked. "What did you say?"

"I just said I was taking a break."

"Dude." Adam snorted. "You're going to have to tell her that there's going to be a possibility of a chick being in your life."

"I didn't know what to say. Ben told me she's been dead since forever and I don't want to give her a heart attack or something."

"She's strong. I think it'll be okay." Dean offered her.

"Dude, your grandma is 30. Kay? She's younger than your dad." Adam pointed out.

"I'm four." Emma countered. "And if we're getting into alive time… I'm not even a year old."

"No, I can't deal with that." Adam shook his head. "This is supergood pie."

"You're 25 and you look 20." She stole a piece of his crust.

"I said stop."

"You're both pretty." Dean told them and took his bowl back to get more pie. "Aside from Heather the meddler, who else you got in your sights?"

"There's this girl that I see when I'm checking the job postings. She asked me if I liked tattoos, once. I didn't know what to say and she never talked to me again."

"Did she have tattoos?" Dean asked.

"Three that I could see."

"Next time you see her… show her yours."

"That's ballsy." Adam commented. "But it would be hot."

"No. Not allowed. You can't reference your niece and hot in the same sentence." Dean whapped Adam upside the head.

"Geez, ow." Adam rubbed his head.

"You're going to hell." Dean told him. "Again."

"She practically an adult." Adam bit out. "As her parent, you're supposed to build her self-esteem."

"By telling her she's strong and pretty and smart and not by telling her she's hot." Dean smacked him again.

"Why are we beating up on Adam?" Sam asked from the doorway.

"Uncle Adam is being gross." Emma informed him.

Dean sighed. "Remember when it was my job to be the gross one?"

* * *

"This is nice, John."

"I figured with everything… you'd like a break."

"Or maybe you did." She pointed out.

"Maybe." He felt uncomfortable. He knew he was 60, wasn't helped by knowing he looked 50… and his wife though also 60, looked 30. His wife. Eating dinner with his wife in the present tense.

"You get the feeling the kids are waiting for us to be… what we were?"

"Maybe."

"Are you waiting for that?"

"I don't know." John set his napkin down and clasped his hands over his plate. "I know that I spent 22 years trying to avenge you and now… you're here."

"Are you mad at me?"

"No. It's not like you chose this… to be gone until now. I know that it's because Dean needs you… and I feel like maybe he needs you more than he needs me." John looked into her face. "I feel useless."

"I feel like I'm not seeing the real him."

"No, this is the real him." John nodded. "He's got a dark side, for sure. But it's a hat he puts on when he needs to and I made him put it on when he was four."

"The Mark, John."

"That's not him, either. He's… um… learning to deal with it but he's… I taught him to be a soldier. I did. He's good at this, Mary. So good and… he only did it because it's what I wanted. I never found out what he wanted, really. I knew he wanted his family together but… Sam always knew he wanted to be a lawyer."

"Is he?" Mary interrupted.

"He was almost there. Demon who killed you, killed his girlfriend."

"Jesus." She shuddered. "He's just like you, isn't he, burns hot under the collar."

"I guess so. We've fought so much. We don't want to fight anymore but… means we don't talk much."

"What have you been doing with yourself? The last year…"

"Dean got whisked to 1998 and took his friend with him. I watched her girl. I found Emma. I took care of them til Dean got back. Since then… gambling, scamming… It's what I did before I died. Only we didn't move around. I came out here when she and I… called it quits. When I was sure we were done, I mean."

"John…" Mary took a breath. "You don't have to explain. Even after all the stories I've heard from you and Dean and Sam… You're still… that hope is still in there. I still see it… I'm sure she did, too. We don't have to pick up where we left off."

"I've been waiting to be with you for decades and now you're here and I don't know what to do."

"Most people don't get this chance, John… but let's take it slow. Please. I thought you were gone. I thought you were all gone. I didn't recognize Sam when he came in with you but I knew him from months ago, he came in a few times. I think he was trying to figure out if it was really me."

"Oh yeah?"

"Found some silverware that isn't ours. I've cleaned up major salt spills… and I'm pretty sure he's the reason I found a silver stickpin in my knee last month." She shrugged. "He's good. I never felt it."

"You haven't looked in the library."

"No. I haven't. I never wanted that life, John. I'm curious but I'm afraid I won't be able to stop myself if everyone else is doing it."

"Do you think we can really help him?"

"I think so. Dean looks very capable but if he's not kept on his toes… he'll get lazy, he'll get complacent and that mark might show me what darkness he has."

"All that in a few days, huh?"

"Four and a half years and a few days. I know my boy, John."

"I hope so. I thought I did. Then I died and I met him all over again and he's not the same boy you knew. He's not the boy I knew. He's not the man I knew. He's a whole other animal now."

"Tell me about Sam." Mary pressed.

"What do you want to know?"

"Exactly what I sold when I made that deal."

* * *

Dean unloaded the car while Lisa got Ben and Lou inside. John had taken Emma and Mary to the apartment. Lisa helped him after a bit with the baby stuff. They sank onto the couch, listening to Ben's music thrumming through the floorboards. Lisa stared at him. "Move in."

"Yeah? Just like that?"

"We can clear out the attic for Emma or wall in the dining room. Your folks could take over that apartment."

"Maybe. Let me talk to them about it first." Dean nodded. "But I'd like that."

"I don't know that I'll ever forgive you for what you did but… watching you with Ben… He needs you. He needs his dad and so will Lou. Emma's… she's my family, too."

"Thank you."

"I sleep better with you beside me. I know that unexpected family vacations to the bunker are going to happen but I'd rather be in this than be so angry at you that I can't see straight. We… just… we have to talk about the things. You can't just say that it's too much and walk away. Whatever it is… you have to trust that I can handle it. I'm your family."

"Can you update the school paperwork? So I can pick up Ben?"

"Yes." She laughed. "I will."

"What?"

"He's almost got his driver's license, then he'll drive himself to school."

"I know but… in case of emergency."

"I get it." She nodded. "I'll do it. We need groceries."

"Make me a list."

"You're funny. You're staying here. I'm going to the store."

* * *

Claire had the baby in one arm and her wine glass in the other hand while Lisa cooked. "I loved the falls."

"They were beautiful." Lisa nodded. "How'd you like Jody?"

"We got along well after she bailed me out of jail."

"You got arrested?" Lisa followed Claire's gesturing to where Erica was sitting on Ben's shoulders trying to reach some game on a high shelf. "What did she do?"

"Played keep away with her person until the cops came to throw us out of the park." Claire sighed. "The other Claire taught her some new braids, so she wants them all the time, now. But she wants to be a brunette like Alex."

"I couldn't imagine dark hair on her."

"I think she could carry it. Caleb had dark hair… not that he ever let it grow out."

"She has your complexion, though." Lisa sighed and motioned to her daughter. "I still don't know what her hair is really doing."

Claire looked over Lou's fuzzy head. It was wispy and brown but lighter than brown. "I think she could go either way. Her little nose has got tons of freckles."

"I know, they're so cute." Lisa sighed. "I have the most beautiful baby in the world."

"You do." Claire took her hair out of Lou's mouth and set her wine glass down. "I missed this. Jody was fun but I wanted my best friend."

"She is fun. Even when she's being a cop. I think that's why Dean likes her so much." Lisa grinned into her pans.

"She doesn't indulge in Winchester nonsense. Those girls are going to be a force."

"I know." She tilted her head at Claire who was busy kissing Lou's hands. "You staying for dinner?"

"We should get back soon. This little girl is getting so big." Claire cooed and played with baby Lou.

"You want another one?"

"Hell, no. She's keeping me on my toes as it is."

"You don't think a brother or sister would calm her down?"

"Not a chance." Claire laughed. "Maybe if she were younger. She's…"

"Mom! Pop-pop's here!" Erica shouted from John's back.

"Do all children call you "Pop-pop?"" Mary asked as she walked in behind him.

"I called him Pop-pop first." Erica told her with a sneer.

"She did." John nodded. "And she's my Pippi."

"I'm gonna be Pippi for Halloween. Mom's going to braid my hair with wires."

"We should go." Claire looked to Lisa, polishing off her wine and setting Lou in the pen.

"Hi." Mary held out her hand. "I don't think I've met you yet."

"Claire Reid." Claire shook her hand. "You're Mary. I was on my way out. Come on, kiddo."

"Mom." Erica whined but slid down off John's back. "Pop-pop just got here."

"I know but we've got dinner of our own to make. You'll see Ben later."

"But Mom…" Erica huffed and stormed outside with her arms crossed.

"Nine going on 19." Claire told them, nodded to John and Mary and saw herself out.

Mary stared after her for a long moment. Then she looked to John. "Who broke it off?"

Lisa looked to John but pretended to keep stirring. John looked to his feet. They both snapped their eyes to the doorway when Ben spoke. "Claire did but it was because Pop-pop's a dick."

"Ben." Lisa shook her head at him.

"Sorry. I'm going to my room." Ben ran up the stairs.

"I should go." John sucked in a breath.

"I feel like the bad guy." Mary whispered.

"No, it's definitely me." John turned to go. Dean and Emma were walking up the path when he climbed in his car.

Dean walked straight into the house and took inventory. "What just happened?"

"I met Claire." Mary shoved her hands in her pockets. "Guess I know how this would have gone if I hadn't shown up."

"Mom… come on. It wasn't like that… it's just… fresh." Dean took a breath. "Didn't you say you had someone?"

"I guess I fell back on old habits. Didn't let myself get too involved." Mary walked with Dean into the living room. "Did he love her?"

"Yeah, I think so." Dean blew out a breath. "They'd tried this before. It didn't work."

"Why?"

"Mom." Dean rubbed his hands on his jeans. "Does it matter?"

"Maybe not."

"They wanted different things." Dean tried to end the conversation there but saw she wasn't going to let it go. He took after her that way. He got that tenacity from her. "She wanted kids and he didn't want to watch her die…" He trailed off before he said too much.

"And now?"

"He's… he still mourns you. He… when it's your birthday or your it's the day you died… he gets wrecked and he pushes everyone away, physically if he has to… but usually words will do it. He's good at finding the weak spots and pushing until you break."

"Who did he go after? This last time… my birthday."

"Claire… she's used to it but she wouldn't let him do it to Erica, wasn't going to give him the chance. Went after me but I'm used to it… went after Emma and she shut him out for a while."

"Ben was upset."

"He's got a huge crush on Claire. He feels like Dad hurt her and he's knighted up… especially after Emma told him what he said to her."

"What did he say?"

"Well… Emma's a little… confused about her… sexuality and we've all supported her. She dates girls and boys while she figures it out. Dad let into her about it. Called her some names and broke her heart."

"Burnt his bridges all around, then." Mary looked at her hands. "Because of me."

"Because you died." Dean grabbed her hand. "It'll get better…"

"Maybe." She stared at her hand engulfed in his. "I know what's like to give up someone you love because they're in your past and your future is so much bigger." She looked into his face. "I understand what it is to walk away from everything because it would kill that future."

"Mom."

"Maybe I should have stayed dead."

"Mom." Dean pleaded. "It just… it's gonna take time… for everyone to adjust."

"I overheard something your dad was telling Sam before I knew who he was. My death is a blur. How did I die?"

* * *

Claire met him at the cages. "Thanks for calling me back."

"Ricky was excited to see her again." Kelly shoved his hands in his pockets and nodded to the two playfully fighting over who was going to bat next. "How was the roadtrip?"

"Good, bad… both."

"She's mad at you."

"Yeah." Claire nodded. "My ex's ex is back and she's figured it out."

"Ah." Kelly nodded.

"Erica hated him when we were good. When we were bad, she wanted us to get back together. Now she's mad at me."

"Do you miss him?"

"Sometimes. I don't miss the mess he is." She looked toward the kids. "I just… want to do what's right for her."

"That's all we want. To do right by our kids." He touched her arm.

"You still seeing Bren?"

"NO… um… that did not work out."

"Sorry." She apologized.

"She… cannot handle Ricky and she didn't want to learn."

"Her loss. Ricky is amazing and you're wonderful." She stared off at the kids, taking turns batting. Erica righty and Ricky lefty. They got a rhythm going and the machine could barely keep up with them. "They make a good team."

"Little league might actually happen this year." Kelly breathed. "He can focus. It's amazing. Your kid…"

"She's wild but she knows how to get things done." Claire rubbed his arm. "Come on. I hear the coffee here isn't so bad."

"That girl of yours looks so tiny but man… what a powerhouse. How'd you teach her to hit that hard?"

* * *

TBC


	32. Chapter 31 - We don't have forever

Chapter 31 – We don't have forever

* * *

John checked the windows and doors. Mary and Lou played a game of blocks in the living room. Ben was in his room, music pounding just loud enough to show he was mad at not going along. It was a little hunt. Dean and Claire had taken Lisa to show her what it was about when it was planned. Haunting. Emma was on a date. Erica was pouting in the kitchen. She'd refused to eat. John told her she had to eat something before she left the table. Mary said that was harsh but let it be. She didn't know Erica.

John circled back to the kitchen. Erica was eating, sullenly. Eating pizza and pouting. John took her outside when she'd finished. He told a story about pirates and she started talking to him again. She berated him for not coming to her birthday party. She showed him the throwing stars she got from Dean.

Eventually they went back inside. Ben had come out to start a movie. Emma came home from her date and joined them. Emma braided Erica's hair while they watched a movie that seemed familiar but looked strange. John frowned at it. Mary exchanged a look with him. "We've seen this."

"I think so." John nodded.

"It's a remake." Ben told them, texting on his phone while Erica giggled at the movie.

"She's a little young, I think." Mary nudged John.

"She watches this stuff all the time." John shook his head. "Ben knows what Erica's okay to watch."

"This is fine. She's already seen the original." Ben nodded to them but kept texting.

"Pop-Pop, Mimi, she's fine. And she's sleeping with me anyways." Emma told them.

"You thrash." Erica commented.

"You kick." Emma tugged on a strand of her hair.

"We saw this at that drive-in outside of Lawrence a couple of months after Sam was born." Mary nudged John.

"We left the boys with Mike." He nodded. "I liked that one better than this one."

"Me, too."

"Sh. I'm the only who hasn't seen any version of this." Emma griped.

Mary got up to check on the baby. She didn't trust the baby monitor, especially after realizing it was instrumental in some hauntings. Lou gummed a cracker while Mary paced the living room. When her hair was done, Erica climbed into John's lap. Emma put on another movie after the poltergeists had been vanquished. Erica fell asleep in John's lap. John took her upstairs and dropped her on Emma's bed. Mary chided him about his back on their way back down the stairs.

John sank onto the edge of the bed. Lou was sleepily babbling in her crib. Mary stared at him. "She forgave you."

"I guess."

"Come to bed."

"Kids are still up."

"No school for a month. They're fine."

"Hey Mimi…" Ben swung into the doorway. "Will you wake me up if they call?"

"Of course." She nodded.

"You're not just saying that? My mom says that. She doesn't wake me up."

"They're going to be fine, Ben." John told him as he kicked off his boots. "Dean and Claire know what they're doing and they'll keep your mom safe."

"How… long… has Claire been hunting?" Mary asked Ben.

"Since before Erica was born." Ben shrugged. "Said she was hunting with Pop-pop since before she met Erica's dad."

"How long did you hunt with her?"

"Year… year and a half." John shrugged.

"Ten years ago?"

"She's not his." Ben made a face at his grandmother. He'd seen this mental math go down before. His grandmother and aunt were good at it.

"No?" Mary looked to John.

"No. She's not." John told her. "I already told you that."

"Ben, are you coming?" Emma called in.

"Be right there." Ben told her. "We're just going to sit in the backyard."

"If they call, we'll wake you." John promised.

Ben shut the door as he left. John looked to Mary. "You can't do that. You can't rope them into this like that."

"You don't tell me anything, John. I have to find it out on the fly and I'm tired of it. Is it over between you?"

"Yes."

"Are we really doing this… together? Cause I feel like I'm just hanging out and I'm watching you with your other family."

"What do you want? You want me to stop being nice to a little girl who never had a father? Never had grandparents."

"No, that's not it." Mary took a breath. "John, you said you wanted to take things slow and I was okay with that but… we're not moving. Not toward each other or apart and it's scaring me. I don't know why I'm here and you're here if it's not for a second chance."

"I'm not the man I was." John stood up to pace. "The things I've done… to myself, to our children… to innocent people…"

"John… I'm here… talk to me. Tell me about it or don't but I'm right here."

* * *

"Mimi's crazy." Ben told Emma.

"Yeah." Emma agreed and stared up at the sky. "She's been dead a long time, though. Dean says they were in love, the real deal and things were perfect before she died."

"I don't think that's true. They're fighting too much if it was all perfect."

"Maybe nobody's perfect."

"That's probably more true." Ben breathed out. "I just want to go hunting with him."

"He's kind of a dick when he's hunting." Emma nudged him.

"You hunt."

"Yeah but… I'm a better shot and a better runner than he is… cause he's old."

* * *

Dean opened the front door. Lisa ran upstairs to take a shower. Dean found his father asleep on the couch. He sighed. Dean picked up around the house and found Erica on the stairs when he came back through. She stared up at him. He took her hand and they walked to her house. Claire was just getting out of the shower. "Something happen?"

"She wanted to come home." Dean nudged her. "She hasn't said much."

"Sweetie."

"I think Mimi hates me."

"Oh… no…" Dean knelt down. "She doesn't hate you."

"Dean." Claire bit out. "Maybe your mom doesn't watch my kid for a while."

"Whatever you want." Dean nodded. "I'll get a story for you. It's probably nothing."

* * *

John set clothes to wash and looked around the little apartment. He kept sleeping on the bed in the living room. It was aggravating Mary. He tried to be genial and he enjoyed the moments when they were in sync. He listened to her talk aloud about how Lou was doing and what the kids were doing. He mentioned by the by that Erica had picked up on Mary's reticence to get to know her and left it at that. He remembered that look on her face. He remembered the fight they'd had with that look on her face. Chelsea Jenkins. '70. Chelsea had chased and Mary accused him of leading her on.

12 dates in a month where John took Mary out and Mary stared straight ahead and wouldn't look at him. 12 dates where he picked her up in silence, rode to the diner in silence, sat in the park in silence and dropped her off to have her slam the door in his face. When Chelsea turned her attention to Mike Guenther, Mary had caved and held his hand at the park. Then when Chelsea dumped Mike for the captain of the football team, Mary had taken John hiking and given it up after a run through the trees.

"What the hell are you smiling at?" Mary kicked his knee as she passed.

"Just remembering Chelsea Jenkins."

"What about Chelsea Jenkins?" She walked back over to kick him again.

"You were like this back then."

"Was I?" She sank down onto the couch. "She's… beautiful."

"Chelsea?" John made a face at her. "You seen her lately? I saw her back in… uh… '93. Time was not kind to her."

"You know who I'm talking about." She took his hand in hers.

"Mary… I'm not… waiting for her to take me back. I don't know… maybe if we'd found you next year and I could have some time to get my head together it would feel different for you but… I'm… not good. Not good for her and her girl. I'm not good for you. I'm barely what I was for the boys… and that's not the husband you deserve."

"John… I just… feel like you're punishing me and everywhere we go with our family… she goes, too." She held her hands up. "I know. She's a friend of Dean and Lisa's and the kids get along."

"I just… need a little more time to feel normal. I haven't been normal in so very long." He looked at her and took a breath. "Honestly, I feel like every time I see you… you're going to disappear on me or I'm gonna see you up on that ceiling again and I can't live through it again. I can't."

"On the ceiling." She took a breath. "You told Sam that you... had nightmares of Claire… on the ceiling."

"I…"

"When you said you… loved her… was it more than you loved me?"

"I still love you. I always will."

"John. Answer me."

"Maybe it was love but… it's not the way I loved you. The way I love you." He stared at her. "I keep thinking about our last fight. How you kept taking me back… Why? Why would you do that?"

"Because you're mine. I traded everything to be with you and I'd be damned it if wasn't going to be worth it. I love you enough for both of us."

"Dean remembers that fight, not what it was about but… he remembers taking care of you." John stared at her. "I wanted that baby. I did. I'm… sorry it wasn't born."

"We already talked about this." Mary sighed and let her anger go. "I'm just glad the option was taken from us. I didn't want to make that decision."

"If… that demon had killed you and our next boy or our girl… I'm not sure I would have made it. It was hard enough to be there for the boys and really… I don't think I was. Now that I'm back and I see them… happy… I hate myself."

"You did what you had to do. I understand better than anyone. I will love you enough for both of us."

* * *

Emma looked up when Erica bounced onto her bed. "What?"

"Mom bought me a bra." She over-annunciated the last word.

"Wow." She shook her head.

"None of the other girls are wearing one yet." Erica made a face.

Emma tilted her head at the girl. "You got anything to put in it?"

"No." Erica sank a little.

"Well, probably soon, then." Emma shrugged and kept working on the bracelet she had started back in the bunker. "Help me with this, your fingers are smaller."

Emma and Erica finished the bracelet and found everyone sitting down to dinner. Dean ate quietly. Lisa and Claire chatted about their friends. Ben was eying the clock. Erica poked him with her fork in between bites. He didn't even blink. Dean sat back and crossed his arms, eyes on his son until Ben shrank under the intense gaze. Ben focused on his dinner. Then at exactly eight o'clock, a horn honked outside. Dean nodded to him and Ben took off, barely remembering to put his plate in the sink first.

"Where's he going?" Claire asked.

"Dad's taking him camping. Overnight, complete with fishing tomorrow." Dean looked at the clock. "It's late but I think they were going to practice night tracking."

"Your mom going?" Lisa asked.

"I think so." Dean nodded.

"You didn't want to go." Claire looked to Emma.

"No. I like sleeping in a bed unless I absolutely can't." She flicked her eyes to Dean and then back to her plate.

Dean picked up his fork again. "Last time we went on an overnight hunt, I had us crash in the woods. It was a bad idea."

"Really bad." Emma nodded.

"Woke up and she was up in a tree, fast asleep."

"Didn't even remember climbing up there." The teenager shook her head. "Maybe next time, we'll at least sleep in the car, don't care how stuffy it is."

"Maybe."

"I think Uncle Sam said he was going to meet them out there." Emma offered to Claire. "Do a real… male bonding thing."

Dean finished up his dinner and let Erica beat him at a couple of video games. Emma lay on the floor and stared at the ceiling. She was plotting something but Dean refused to pry.

Then his mom walked into the house with a pie. Dean all but chased her into the kitchen, and froze because he'd forgotten. Lisa did for a moment, too. "Mary, he's going to be up all night until that pie is gone."

Mary's eyes landed on Claire and quickly bounced away. "I don't have a lot to do when you don't need me to help with the baby. I bake and I know Dean will eat it."

"I thought you were going with the guys camping." Lisa poured Claire more wine. Mary didn't sit.

"Um… Sam and I… um… Well, John and Ben are sure to get him talking."

Erica slipped into the kitchen and sat next to Emma, who started working braids into her hair. Lisa looked to Dean but he missed the cue. Dean let his mother serve him a slice of pie and dug in. "Sam's always… um… inside himself. He'll come around."

"Hi, girls." Mary took a seat but waved off the offer of alcohol. "Emma, no plans for tonight?"

"Nah. I got an interview tomorrow at a photo lab."

"Isn't that where that girl works?" Claire looked at Emma.

"Maybe." Emma made a face at her as she finished Erica's hair.

"How is that going?"

"Slow."

"Are you gonna kiss her?" Erica teased.

"Maybe." Emma flipped a braid into Erica's face.

Dean came up for air. "That the girl with the tattoos?"

"Yeah." Emma nodded. "She seems nice and I think she likes me but… we may just end up being friends."

"Why?" Dean made a face at her.

"Cause I'm pretty sure she's 18 and I'm not."

"I don't know much about… dating girls but I do know that sometimes a long courtship makes for a better partnership." Mary held her breath and waited.

"Like… how long?"

"However long."

"But…" Emma looked to her dad.

"I am not an example, do not look at me." Dean told her as he shoved more pie into his face.

"John and I met when I was 16. Just moved to Lawrence with my folks. It didn't get romantic until… just before he enlisted. Then it was two years of letters and fighting with my father and then six months of planning when he got home. It was only going to be three but then my folks died and we had to postpone."

"Did you ever date anyone else?"

"Before John? Sure. A few guys at my school in Illinois. I think maybe… one guy in Lawrence. Nobody special, any of them. Don't even remember their names. John had a few girlfriends before me… and I know a few after me. We were married for six years before Dean came along. I was starting to think our family wasn't going to happen."

"I didn't know that." Dean looked at his mother.

"John thinks it was a plan to be stable before we started our family." She touched his face. "Women do things differently. I was trying before he was. I knew I wanted that man's babies. He was so good. Shame none of you ever got to meet that man."

"I did. I remember." Dean told her. "I tell my kids about how he was when I was little."

"It's the only reason why I'm not still mad at him." Emma whispered. "Dad's stories and Claire's."

Claire squeezed Emma's arm. "He just forgets all the good he does sometimes."

"I just remember his face in the motel when we were on our way here. He was not prepared for a teenage girl." The teenager grinned.

"No, he wasn't." Claire kissed Emma's cheek. "You're going to teach that man some things and he needs to learn them."

"I should have gone with them." Emma made a face.

"Let them have their boys' weekend in a tent. I prefer showers with hot water." Mary finally took the glass of wine from Lisa.

"Gina told me she saw you with Kelly Haskills the other night." Emma grinned at Claire.

"When did that start?" Lisa pressed.

"I… the kids were playing together. Kelly and I took a walk around the park." Claire shrugged and averted her eyes.

"Gina said that you looked really cozy."

"Who is Gina?" Claire made a face.

"My friend at the photo lab."

"Gina, huh." Dean finished off his slice of pie. "I need to meet Gina with the three tattoos."

"She has five."

"Five." Dean rubbed his hands together. "You are not allowed to get any more tattoos until our fake paperwork puts you out of my legal control." He cleared his throat. "I need to meet Gina… one time. Not at dinner and not in front of all of these women."

"Dean." Lisa smacked him.

"You're all judgey." Dean waved his hand at him. "I'm the one with experience. I know tattooed women."

"But you don't know lesbians." Claire pointed out.

"I knew one lesbian."

"You're going to have to talk about her eventually." Lisa told him.

"Not yet." Dean shook his head, eyes shining a bit.

"We don't have forever." She reminded him.

"I do." He looked back at her.

"The rest of us don't." Lisa smacked his hand. Then she gestured around the table. "I'm sure we'd all like to hear about Charlie."

* * *

Sam cast the line out. Then had his technique critiqued by his father. Adam was doing just fine. John stuck next to Ben to get him going. The group was mostly quiet. John's instructions were at a whisper… as not to scare the fish. Then they were frying up the fish that mostly Ben and Adam had caught. Ben and Adam talked about baseball. John sat next to Sam. Sam tried his best not to move away. Force of habit.

"Your mom is… afraid that she scares you."

"Every time I see her… I freeze. I think about all the terrible things I said to you because she wasn't there. I get sad and mad and I… freeze."

"I deserved some of those things you said to me."

"But not all of them."

"You should talk to her. She wants to talk to you."

"It's not fair. I mean… Dean and I have talked. He asked for Adam to be released from the cage but now he's… stuck with us. All of his family is gone… and all of our family is back."

"Life isn't fair. Your mother would have never died if it was. You would have never been… infected by a demon… your brother would have common sense. Life isn't fair."

"Dean should have gotten to know about Ben from the beginning."

"Should've." John took a breath. "She wants to get to know you. She remembers Dean. He was old enough that she knew who he was. You were just… six months old and a ball of hungry chub. When she died, we had no idea who you were going to be."

Sam hung his head.

"Why do you do that? I'm proud of you. I'm not trying to sell you and your brother short but I would have never expected the two of you could do all the things you've done. This planet is still spinning and it's because of the men I raised. Would I have done it the way you did? No. but… we don't know that it would have been better. I've had my share of mistakes… good people who died because I messed up. Life is not fair, Sam. We… gotta get through it."

"Everyone except Dean."

"Dean's going to be going through it until the end of time or some other person takes his place. That's why we're here, isn't it. To make sure he makes it through the rough part. The adjustment period. Did he have that before?"

"Not really."

"He went darkside?"

"Yeah. Full demon."

"And you brought him back?"

"Yeah."

"Well, now you won't have to do it alone."

"Hey Dad." Adam stood with his plate of fish bones. "Ben's thinking about taking auto shop. I told him that we could do all that with him."

"And he can still take autoshop." John pointed out. "Your dad wants you to learn to do things from other people."

"But…"

"There's a rhyme and a reason for it, just do it." John told him.

"I'm getting a job." Adam announced. "Taking some classes, too."

"Yeah?" John looked to him. "Where you thinking?"

"Gun shop in town. They need someone during the week, mornings. Figured I could take a class in the afternoon, round out my day. Spend my evenings with the Man of Letters." Adam pointed to Sam. "Unless of course, female company beckons."

"Of course." Sam nodded. "Wrap it up."

"He's not wrong." John agreed.

"Might have to get a place off… site… You know…"

"Yeah." Sam nodded. "Looks like I'm the only permanent resident at Casa de Letters."

* * *

Kelly looked in the box. "This is… wow…"

"Shut up." Claire dropped another belt in the box. "I just… need to get him out of my house." She could hear the kids playing outside. Kelly paced around and kept an eye out the window. "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. It's just… this is the longest we've made it with a new friend. He's intense and kids… get tired of it really quickly."

"I hear you. She usually only gets a couple of playdates out of a friend before her enthusiasm overwhelms them."

"Who is picking up the box?"

"I'm taking it to Lisa's… he can get his stuff from there."

"So, it's over?"

"Yeah." She nodded.

"So… you're available."

Claire dropped a sheaf of paper on top of a gun in the box. "Yeah…"

"You want to find a lunatic to watch the kids so we can be grownups together some night?"

* * *

Dean had Lou in a swing in the yard when Castiel dropped in. They existed in silence for a while, just the whirring sound of the swing and Lou's babbles as she slapped at crackers on the tray. "It's been a while, Castiel."

"I've learned a lot about what has happened. I believe we were played as pawns."

"Yeah… but we won, first."

"Did we win?" Castiel looked down at the baby and then back up at the sky.

"Amara's in the cage behind the cage again. Chuck went… wherever Chuck goes. I got this mark and I'm… gonna do my best."

"When was the last time you felt the mark?"

"Before Lou was born, I guess."

"I have reason to believe that…" Castiel looked up again. "That this has all been a farce."

"How do you mean?"

"The way my memories have formed and been revealed to me… the manner in which this child came about. The odd parent and sibling returning to this land of the living."

"What are you getting at?"

"It feels… put on. Like… the greatest mirage I have ever seen."

"How do we prove it?"

"I don't know that we do."

"Why?"

"No one's seen God but the… circumstantial evidence… simplest route."

"Chuck." Dean took a breath. "Dammit."

* * *

TBC


	33. Chapter 32 - Ice cream run

AN: We're almost there. I've been posting a lot but I'm bored and I wrenched my back and I'm not sleeping so... you get posts. Not writing anything new because pain eats those creative juices.

* * *

Chapter 32 – Ice Cream Run

* * *

A year later…

Emma drove and ignored the smacking in the backseat. It was gross. Grosser than when it was Dean and Lisa. She couldn't get to the bunker fast enough. She didn't even bother with the garage. She threw it in park, grabbed her bag from the trunk and brushed passed Sam on her way in. "Pop-pop and Mimi are in the car."

Sam held the door and soon enough, his parents made their way down inside. "What's her deal?"

"Your brother didn't call?" Mary frowned as she set her bag down.

"Just to say you were on your way. There was a Lou meltdown going on and he didn't have time to explain much."

"It's the Amazons. Dean thinks they're near. It was Emma that made the pattern. She didn't want to be found out."

"Okay." Sam nodded. "She's gone to her room. I need to get food. Any requests?"

"She likes that chocolate peanut butter with vanilla ice cream." John nodded to the way Emma had disappeared.

"Chocolate peanut butter." Mary snorted. "Nutella and vanilla bean. Don't go getting her that fake stuff."

"Twinkies?" Sam asked.

"No." John shook his head.

"I'm fine honey. Just make sure there's food we can all eat." Mary kissed his face. "Get some steaks for your father and maybe some bacon. Emma and I will be okay with vegetables and the occasional omelet."

"Okay." Sam nodded and headed toward the door. He turned at the door and just watched for a moment. Hands entwined, bodies leaning on each other. Comfortable.

* * *

Dean sat in the bar and watched. Tall, statuesque women made their conquests. Dean helped a couple of them to purgatory. A few he couldn't get to. He saved one man from his daughter. Two others he couldn't. A dozen or so Amazon set upon him and the mark on his arm didn't let his injuries slow him down. Then he saw her. He cut through three women to get to her. "Lydia."

"Dan, you're going to die." She dove into him. They rolled and a few more got their knives into him. Dean got his blades into them. Then it was just three of them. They were all bleeding.

Dean's wounds began to close as he breathed and watched them. Lydia and the two others. It was just a moment and one of them lay dying on the ground. Another moment and another Amazon lay dying and Dean had a myriad of new cuts.

"It's Dean." Dean reminded her.

"Oh whatever." She stepped over a fallen sister with her blade ready to strike.

"Right on schedule. Thought you ladies might move it over a border or two."

"We are legion. We are everywhere."

"I am everlasting." Dean moved forward but she stayed out of reach.

"I see. That would have come in handy for my daughter."

"Your daughter? Sure. Liked you cared about her." Dean's nostrils flared.

"Humans." Lydia shook her head. "So sentimental. She was born a warrior and she didn't survive her first test. She wasn't worthy."

Dean thought of the blonde girl who had kissed her crush the past weekend. Who had outshot her brother and uncles, who had practiced make up on her grandmother, who had joined Lisa for yoga, who had played tea party with her little sister, who had forgiven her drunk of a grandfather, who sometimes snuck up on Dean to hug him when she was unsure of herself.

Dean stepped and with a flick of his arm, his knife was in a vital organ. "You didn't deserve her."

"Killed a dozen or so of us… there are more." Lydia coughed, blood spurting out of her mouth. "There are always more."

"You're a monster, you're going where monsters go when they die." Dean told her as her arms went slack. "You'll be where Emma went."

"Your eyes…" Lydia's eyes glazed over and she stopped breathing.

Dean caught his reflection in a window and rubbed at his eyes as he hurried away. Back in his car and on the way home. He kept checking his eyes and it took a while but the black went away. He stopped at the apartment to shower before going home to Lisa.

Ben dropped onto the couch next to him, his clothes reeked of vegetable oil and fried chicken. "You're back fast."

"Got it done." Dean told him and lifted the bottle to his mouth. "How was work?"

"Gross. Got a class in the morning." Ben shoved himself back to his feet and jogged upstairs to shower.

Lisa and her little shadow found them a bit later. Lou climbed into Dean's lap and Dean kissed her face. Spellbound by her brown eyes. Lisa nudged him. "You okay?"

"I killed Emma's mother." Dean covered Lou's ears as he said it. "I'm not going to tell her."

"Dean." Lisa sighed. "Did you have to?"

"They came at me after I saved a few men and prevented a few girls from… She… said some stuff and… then she was dead."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Stuff that… um…" Dean felt it again and closed his eyes. "Take her."

He felt Lisa take Lou, who whined. Then he was up and pacing. He turned to the mirror in the hallway but his eyes were normal. He breathed in and out. Stared at himself. Deep breaths.

"Dean? You okay?"

"I should go to the bunker."

"You promised you would talk to me." Lisa set Lou in her pen and approached slowly. "Dean, what's wrong?"

"When… I killed her, she didn't… die right away… She said something about my eyes and I looked and they were black. I could feel it just now when I was talking about it. I'm… my skin is crawling."

"Then go. Go safely."

* * *

Sam watched Emma flip through article after article. He saw the pattern and he knew she did, too. Her feet tapped and her fingers twitched while she huffed and puffed. Sam let her lean on him and tried not to remember how he felt when he'd shot her. He tried to get her to go to a movie with him but she went to her room and locked the door.

When John came looking for her, Sam just pointed. John found her quiet, still. Waiting. He sighed. "You're safe here."

"I don't feel safe." She rubbed her wrist.

"Because you're here? With us?"

"Because they're out there."

"We got you."

"Forever? Dean keeps talking about how I'm on my own when I'm legal… according to his fake paperwork."

"That's not what he means."

"Doesn't he?"

"You're in his house with his girlfriend and your brother and your sister and I'm sure you're welcome for however long you want."

"But he keeps saying it and they're out there. I can't… I'm not ready."

"Let's call your dad."

* * *

Mary brushed Emma's hair while they waited for Dean to call back. They played a board game, three card games. Emma crashed out in the early morning. Sam put her to bed after he got up to make coffee. Mary cat napped and babysat the phone. John dozed with Dean's laptop playing a western.

Dean showed up and stared at them. "What?"

"We've been waiting for you to call back." John told him, yawning.

"Forgot my phone at the house. I had the FBI phone." He shrugged.

"Distraught teenager. That way." Mary sat up to refresh her coffee.

"Got it." Dean nodded.

"She thinks you're going to kick her out."

"What?"

"When she's 18."

"No." Dean shook his head. "She in her room?"

"Yeah… and terrified the Amazons are coming for her." John added.

"Kay." Dean trudged down the hallway, his hands twitching just a bit. He steadied himself before going in. She was asleep. Dean sat on the edge of the bed and waited. He might have dozed a bit.

Emma snuggled in the second she realized he was there. Dean just didn't get tired of this. He would probably never kick her out. She could live in the attic until she died and he would be okay with that. Then she was staring up at him. "What happened?"

"I knocked a few heads, saved a few lives."

"Did you see her?"

"Nah." Dean shook his head. "You want to go home or you want to spend the weekend here?"

"Are you sure they're gone?"

"Pretty sure. We won't see them for another couple of years."

"Then what?"

"If they come near us, I will handle it. You… don't have to."

"What if they come for me?"

"They'd have to know you were back. I'm pretty sure they don't." Dean finally felt the shaking subside as he kissed her forehead and promised to look after her. "When I was making plans before… I was thinking I was going to have to go away to keep all of you safe. That was it. It's not like… It's not the plan anymore."

"I don't…"

"You don't have to go. I just… wanted to make sure you could fend for yourself if I had to leave or if something happened to me."

"I can."

"I know… but you don't have to go yet. Lisa loves having you around. Ben is just getting used to a sister and… I think Lou would like to have both of you around long enough to have some memories where we're all together and it's a good thing."

"Okay." She was quiet for a long time. "Can we build a closet for me up there? Like the one at the apartment."

"Yeah. I guess."

"Can you tell Pop-pop that I'll need my weapons back?"

"Why don't you play him for them? He hasn't had a good game of poker in a while."

* * *

Sam watched his parents sort through a pile of records that they had uncovered in a storage room. The ones that Dean had discarded. Soon music was playing. He listened in as his father told her a story about his mother. Sam's eyes welled up but he didn't let the tears fall.

"I just… I remember her… distraught. Her hair in her face, all wet with tears… one of his handkerchiefs in her hand. The cops had nothing, I guess. I can remember… his badge. The cop that told her the case was closed. They figured he'd just run off. I remember sitting with her while she bawled her eyes out. I remember we had to move out of our house. She left me alone so she could work to make rent. I remember… we'd sit together on her day off and she'd make a list of things that needed to get done around the apartment. I had to learn how to do them by myself after school."

"You were so little."

"Just impressions, really." John shook his head. "I remember she had a friend who would come over sometimes. Brought her record player and they would drink tea and listen to a record while I tried my best not to strangle that woman's child. I don't even remember his name. Mom could tell I was getting riled up. She'd say my name and I'd take a deep breath and not murder that little shit."

"You never told me that."

"I don't think I remembered before. It was something Sam said. Dean remembered a fight we had."

"What? That last fight?"

"I know. Dean remembered being the man of the house cause I wasn't there. He remembered that."

"When did your mom meet Jerry?"

"I don't know. I was… seven? I think that friend of hers set her up. I just remember staying by myself a couple of nights on her night off, being mad cause that was my time. Next thing I knew, they were getting married and we moved into his house… and then Mom didn't have to work so much. I was always mad at him. He wasn't my dad. I don't think he wanted to be my dad."

"Fight a lot?"

"I guess but… we loved her. I know he did. I think she was always waiting for my dad to come back but… Jerry loved her. I loved her."

"He taught you his trade. I tell you all the time. If he didn't give a shit about you, he never would have done that."

"I think he saw I had a knack for it and it could make him money."

Sam looked up when he noticed Dean leaning in the doorway, watching them. Listening.

"John, you're crazy. I might not have known him well but Jerry liked you. You called him "Dad," and I saw the way people talked to the two of you."

"I guess… but maybe I just always wanted to know where he went."

"You talked to the boys?"

"They were angry when we talked about it before. I didn't get a whole lot. Just that he meant to come back… and Dean killed the demon who got him."

"You should talk to the boys more."

"Sammy talking to you, yet?"

"Not really. I miss my folks but I knew them… it's hard to… imagine how he must feel. He doesn't have any real memories of me."

"They have some stories about you. They've met you… before they were born. Us, I guess."

Sam motioned Dean outside. They took a walk and didn't say anything for a long time. "Why'd you come out here if you didn't know Emma was freaking out?"

"I had to get away… Feeling tense. I killed Lydia and a dozen of her sisters. I didn't tell Emma about that."

"You good?"

"Yeah." Dean shook his head. "It just crept up on me. I was home and I had Lou and Lisa… Ben was upstairs and I had to get out."

"I've been thinking. This whole thing…"

"A set up. I know. Cas and I have been kicking that one around for a long while."

"Crowley doesn't know anything about one of the kids killing him. Not about Ben or some potential grandchild…" Sam shook his head.

"I hadn't felt the mark in almost a year." Dean finally said it outright.

"A year." Sam breathed. "You know I've gone through everything, right?"

"I figured." Dean nodded.

"Nothing makes any sense."

"Yeah."

"We missed something."

"Maybe it's okay to leave some things unknown, Sam."

* * *

Lou's 4th birthday

Dean let himself into the Reid house. Lou trailed behind him in a dress full of ruffles and covered in jolly rogers. He consulted the list of things to do while she spun in circles to make her dress fly. Then he and Lou watered plants, checked on sigils and did some light dusting. They organized the mail and tossed the junk mail. Then they walked back to their house where Lisa was trying to finish the cake and wrap presents. Emma met them in the yard, two new piercings in her face, a new haircut and a new boyfriend. This one was nearly as tall as Dean and had a bolt through one of his ears. He nodded at Dean. "Sup."

"You're Jeremy?" Dean looked him over. "You do drugs?"

"Nah, man."

"Dad." Emma groaned.

"What do you drive?"

"I don't."

"Dad." Emma hit him and took Lou inside.

Ben showed up with a present for his sister. It was a small party. Just family… and the Jeremy. Lou slurped her spaghetti, one noodle at a time, splashing sauce all over her face. Her hair had settled somewhere between blonde and brown, like her Uncle Sam's. She stole one of her father's meatballs in a fit of giggles. Ben shot a breadstick across the table at Emma. Emma sent it back. Lisa jumped up and put a kibosh on birthday food fights. After dinner was presents and then cake.

Ben ran off to a date. Emma and Jeremy went to a movie. That left Lisa and Dean to watch Lou run around the house on a sugar high. Dean kept up for about an hour but he collapsed while she was still going. Lisa tried to intercede and bleed off some of the sugar. They put on a movie and Lou crashed in Dean's arms before the cartoon princess met her first obstacle.

Dean put her to bed and helped to clean up the mess. Lisa joined him for bed. They were still winding down when Ben snuck to his room. Emma didn't come home. Dean sat up even though Lisa begged him to go to bed. He was up before the sun to make coffee and check the house. He found Emma in the garage bawling her eyes out. She didn't want anything from him. She stormed into the house and up the stairs to her room.

Dad and Mom showed up for breakfast. Mimi took up pancake duty. They looked vaguely dirty. Dean thought he smelled smoke. Ben and Lou made it downstairs first. Lou got her Mimi to make Jolly Roger pancakes. Pop-pop just grinned. He was the one who got her hooked on pirate stories. Lisa joined them and only once motioned toward Emma's room. Dean waved her off. Ben had to rush off to work. Dean was working on his third helping when Emma joined them. She didn't look at anyone or say anything. She just slid a chair next to Dean and put her head on his shoulder.

Uncle Adam dropped in and gave the birthday girl a present then took Emma for a ride on the bike. Dean found himself building a playhouse from Pop-pop and Mimi. Lisa and Mary disappeared outside for a chat. John and Lou had a tea party in the living room while Dean cleaned up the mess from the playhouse. Emma went outside to join the women when they returned. Adam had a cold waffle and sighed at Dean. "Do I want to know?"

"She thought she had made herself clear to Mr. Frankenstein. He insisted on inviting a third party to… the party and it was probably the one girl on the planet that Emma would never touch. They had it out and he said a bunch of things that weren't true and she… let him have it. We're probably lucky that we're not cleaning up a body right now." Adam shrugged.

"She's okay, though?"

"She will be."

"How's Sam?"

"Still working on that timeline." He sighed again. "He's getting a little… mad scientist with the research."

"Is he going out at all?"

"Yeah… if prostitutes count."

"Gross." Dean made a face. "You taken him out?"

"I've tried. He… after the last one, he won't…"

"How long that last?"

"Almost six months. Something freaked him out and he jumped in the research again and… ghosted the girl."

"Hello!" Claire called out.

"Hey!" Dean shot to his feet. "Didn't expect you back for another week."

"She got it." Claire gestured to the surly teen whose hair had seen better days.

"Hi." Erica growled.

"Surely it wasn't that bad." Dean barely had to bend to look in her face. She'd been a tiny nine-year old but she was a tall 13 year old.

"Extenuating circumstances made it a little rough." Claire shook her head that he shouldn't ask.

"I got my period in the middle of the hunt and the fucker headed straight for me." Erica growled and scowled. "I got tripped up in the bushes."

"Jesus." Dean looked to Claire, who could only shrug. "You glad to be home at least?"

"I have to get this junk cut out of my hair." Erica sighed

"Yeah. Lisa and I will have a time of it."

"She's out back with my mom." Dean hitched up a shoulder.

"Maybe Mimi knows some tricks so we don't lose so much hair." Claire nudged the girl.

"Fine." Dean thought her lip actually curled that time.

Claire pushed Erica ahead of her. She gave John a half-smile and a quarter hug on her way through the house. Lou followed the women outside. John watched them go. "What's with Erica?"

"Successful hunt that landed her in a bramble bush." Adam gestured to his head.

"Ice cream run." John declared.

"Are we out?" Dean gestured to the fridge. "We have a ton leftover from yesterday."

"I caught pieces of convo that went like this." John cleared his throat. "Emma beat her boyfriend to a pulp. Pippi's a woman now and about to lose half her hair… My wife and my ex are in the same backyard. I'm leaving for ice cream."

"I'm with him." Adam nodded vigorously and followed John out to the van.

That left Dean to himself. He wasn't going in that backyard. Things had cooled considerably when Claire had taken up with that Ricky kid's dad but it had only gone a year. Lisa had refused to pick sides and that often led to awkward family dinners.

Dean walked outside when he saw Sam's car pull up. He had someone in the passenger seat. "Hey Sammy!"

"Dean…" Sam rubbed a hand over his face. "I found Chuck."

"What?" Dean frowned. "Found him?"

"He found me, whatever." Sam motioned to the car. "Said it's time for him to get his sister back."

"What?"

"I… I'm drawing a blank."

* * *

TBC


	34. Chapter 33 - He wants his sister back

Chapter 33 – He wants his sister back

* * *

Dean sat in the car with the two of them. Chuck turned around in his seat. "I really need you to give her back."

"I'm really confused." Dean shook his head. "We locked her back in her cage… I mean… she's bent on destruction."

"No, you haven't had an episode in a couple years and I feel like… she's been able to see what our world is about." Chuck took several deep breaths. "I know we said… ten years might be a good time frame but I was expecting many more bloodbaths and you direct her energy really well. Hardly anyone who didn't deserve it died."

"Still confused."

"And today would have been perfect for a bloodbath. You didn't go on one."

"Today." Dean looked to Sam.

"Emma's boyfriend tried to force her into a threesome she didn't want and she handled it herself and you didn't feel the need to go punch his face in. Come on, give her back."

"I did feel the need to punch his face… I just didn't."

"Which is the point. Come on. Let Amara out."

"Wait." Sam looked to Chuck. "The last deal we made was for me to take the Mark and put Amara back in her cage. That's not what we did but… letting her out now… wouldn't it still be fresh."

"Right. Memory blocks." Chuck tapped Sam on the head and reached back and smacked Dean on the forehead.

Pain. More pain. Memories. Dean gripped the seat and remembered.

* * *

Dean faced her. She just wanted him inside her and not in the sexy way. Amara touched his face. She wanted to make him happy. Give him bliss. He wasn't the kind to accept bliss. He'd done too much. He still wanted it. Amara glanced across the warehouse where her brother was dying. "He wants you to kill me."

"No, he doesn't." Dean shook his head. "He just… wants you to stop doing this. Stop… destroying everything. I think he feels it… every time you take a soul…"

"Are you going to set off the bomb inside you once you're inside me?"

"I don't want to but… I will." Dean thought about everyone that meant anything to him. "I don't want to die but I will."

"Die…" She took a breath and looked at him, really looked at him. "I want you to live inside me… forever."

"I know… and if it would make you stop, I would do it. Sam would do it. I think Chuck would do it… if you would just stop."

"What is so wonderful about the pain you exist in? All those sharp edges inside you that just cut and cut."

"Apple pie. My first taste of apple pie. That's not sharp." Dean blurted out. "Motor oil, taking care of my Baby, even when she's totaled." He let his mind visit all the places he'd locked away. All the little joys that he cherished. "Laying in bed with Lisa, doing nothing but listening to her breathe. Teaching Ben… anything, just anything. Having a beer with my brother because it's Saturday and not because we killed something. Working a case with my Dad, knowing what to do next and him trusting that I do. Playing pool with Claire when Dad's gone because we never really need to speak to play a good game." Her face changed while his chest burned. "Wishing I'd gotten to know Adam. Seemed like a good guy, someone I'd be proud to call my brother. Wishing… I'd gotten to see for myself if Emma wanted out. Wishing I could get to Charlie fast enough. Wishing that I could protect Kevin… and Ellen and Jo…"

"That doesn't hurt, knowing you failed them."

"Yes but I wish I could make it better. Those were people I loved. Bobby… was like a… second father to me and… I wish he could be here now… even though it could be the end of the world."

"She doesn't know what love is." Chuck coughed as he made his approach. His color was fading fast. "It's not her fault. She and I… we don't have souls."

"But you understand it?" Amara looked to him.

"I've… I have an affinity for the things I've created. Even though none of it is perfect… there's still so much potential and I… care what happens, I suppose. Closest thing I've come to love is what I feel for my sister. It's wrecked me all these millennia without you."

"Can you teach me to… care?" Amara stared at him.

"You care. I see that. You don't want to kill me… you're just mad… like I was when I first started creating. Every time I built something, you ate it. I shouldn't have done that."

Amara looked to Dean. "Can you teach me?"

"I… don't know." Dean groaned when the bomb in his chest smarted.

"We're all going to die, Amara." Chuck reminded her. "I'm fading. Dean... is going to explode and take you with him. It's the only chance we've got so that everything with a soul stays safe."

Staring at Dean's face, she reached out and grabbed her brother's hand. The shift happened too fast and Amara almost ate Dean to make up for the difference but Chuck stopped her. He passed her back some of the energy she'd shared with him.

Dean screamed when he realized they were using him to stabilize themselves. They were using the bomb in his chest. He couldn't focus his eyes anymore. Then it all stopped.

Time. Stopped.

Dean looked around. He wasn't in the warehouse. It looked like the green room. Table full of burgers that were already making his mouth water. He was so tired. He grabbed one and sank into a seat. He turned on the TV. It looked funny. That's when he realized it was a window into Heaven. Joshua sat next to him. "What's this?"

"You and I are going to work out some details while Chuck and Amara have a long talk." Joshua told him. "This, you recognize. Yes?"

"Bobby's heaven."

"Right. It's different than the last time you saw it."

"That's his wife."

"It's a good day they had. She made a pie and a roast. No one came to ask for Bobby's help with their clunkers. They didn't fight about having children. Bobby didn't think about his father. It was a good day."

"I thought…"

"Well, it was erased when Bobby was fighting with his reaper but… I found it. It was still in her memory. I decided they should share. It's what I do. I manage the heavens. This is my garden. I let it grow where I like."

"He should keep it." Dean nodded and then noticed that a piece of paper on the table had a list of names. He picked up a pen and crossed Bobby's name off it.

"That's nice of you." Joshua nodded to him. "Go on. Next person."

Dean changed the channel. Emma. He leapt to his feet. Joshua pulled him back down. "It's okay. I can get her out. Go on. Check her name."

Dean put a check mark next to her name. Kevin was in a memory of studying for school and stopping to stare at his girlfriend, who had no clue. Dean put a check mark next to his name. John was slow dancing with Dean in his arms. He was singing softly and Dean's baby head fit right under his chin. "Where's…"

"Your mother? She expended nearly her entire self to save you and your brother in your childhood home. She's not here. He's not supposed to be here. I found him wandering and snuck him in."

Dean looked at the list. "If I cross them off, they stay where they are. If I check their names, they stop being where they are."

"Yes."

"Where do they go?"

"I'll find a place for them. It'll be better."

"Better than where they are but really… better than what?"

"That's the thing about free will, Dean. I can put them in a better place but each one will choose. Just like Bobby. I had a few memories I found, he picked this one. Sometimes though, he picks a different one. A day climbing waterfalls with a certain young man, tracking deer and sometimes other hikers. He liked that day."

Dean put a check mark next to each of his parents names. Dean changed the channel. More check marks. He did notice that the list of names got longer sometimes. He watched Ellen check a clock and then kneel to bang on some pots with Jo. Watched Jo plan a hunt with a secret smile. They got to a fuzzy channel. Dean stared at it for a long time and then looked at Joshua. "You just let him do that?"

"It makes him happy and he doesn't hurt anything. Ash's garden is quite large."

"He's by himself in his own heaven, right?" Dean frowned.

"Some people are. They like it that way. Ash is one of those rare souls you see that appears selfish but works hard to help other people. He chose to do it by hacking into systems and freeing funds and exposing wickedness. In heaven, he enjoys seeing other people's happy moments. That makes him happy."

Dean crossed his name off the list. When they were through and Dean had had his fill of burgers and beer. He sat with Joshua. "I know that something… different is going to happen…"

"Oh yes, this will be different." Joshua smiled at him. "You have a request."

"Can I undo what I asked an Angel to do?"

"Lisa." Joshua nodded. "God and Amara are working on the details of their deal and they will bring it to you. Chances are… they need that to happen, too."

Dean nodded, scared and resigned. "Is Death really gone?"

"Reaped souls still appear in my heavens so… no."

"What happens to Reapers when they die?"

"Those are not answers for you." Joshua told him.

"I know we're springing Adam and I'm all for free will but what's he going to be like when he gets out?"

"He's spent a long time in there. His soul will need some… reparations."

"But he'll be okay?"

"He has strong blood."

"And Emma?"

"Same blood." Joshua took the list. "I'm going to work on this. You wait."

Dean sipped his beer and stared at the ceiling. When he sat back up, the TV was gone. The burgers were gone but in its place was a beautiful apple pie. Dean didn't bother with a plate, he dug right in. Then he realized he was sharing the pie and having a conversation about baseball with Michael. He didn't even realize when that had happened. Michael looked like a young John Winchester. Dean knew, instinctively that it wasn't his father. The eyes gave it away. Then Kevin was there. They chatted about metallurgy and then Dean was alone again.

The pie was gone but the beer kept coming. Gabriel and Charlie showed up and they had a rousing discussion about roleplay, porn and pranks. Dean kept drinking while Charlie laughed so hard she started snorting. The table filled with a thanksgiving dinner. Ellen and Jo and Raphael took on a stimulating discussion about feminism, pick up artists and the second amendment.

Then it was Dean, Sam, and Lucifer. Dean and Sam sat and drank while Lucifer ranted on and on about the best war movies. Dean had to agree with him on several. Adam joined them after a bit.

Then Dean was alone. Then Chuck and Amara were sitting with him. They had contracts and a powerpoint. Chuck cleared his throat. "What do you think?"

"10 years after the last bloodbath." Dean took a breath. "I could be… 50… or a 150."

"We'd… hold your age until the contract is complete. I couldn't have an 80 year trying to fight a god inside them." Chuck laughed and shared a smile with his sister.

"What are you going to do in the meanwhile?" Dean asked.

"I have things to orchestrate. I have to reset the balance a bit."

"How?"

"Well, there are bloodlines that I need to perpetuate and that can take some time. I'm going to need you to have a girl in addition to existing children. They say that men spread their seed far wider than women but I have found that a woman with… strength, breeds up a type of man that we need."

"Who in the hell am I going to have a kid with?"

"Well, we have the woman all picked out. In fact… in order for… much of this to work, I will need you in a safe place that isn't the bunker… because… frankly… the bunker is depressing and my sister shouldn't have to live there. She should be surrounded by people. Examples, you know?"

"Kay." Dean blinked at him.

"Here's the deal. I'm sending you to Claire Reid because she's got Lisa and you need Lisa… in fact, it's imperative that Amara see, first hand, what you've got with Lisa. I mean, I think we can all agree that it's what's missing right now. She needs to see love. Then… when the baby comes, she can see that kind of love."

"You're… sending me to the one woman on the planet that…" Dean took a breath. "I mean, what are you going to do, send a Cupid?"

"Um… that Cupid, was sent a long time ago. That arrow's already been shot. We'd just be… putting things back in proximity." Chuck explained.

"Wait, what?"

"Yes, you have a series of memory blocks, so does Lisa. They'll come down in the order that they need to. I know you wanted to set that right, but first… I do need a Winchester baby girl who is… human. Emma's great. She's gonna wonderful but… she's still half Amazon and so… I just… I need her."

"For what?"

"To perpetuate the line. I mean… I got a lot of horses I could back but… my money's always on Winchesters. I see your line doing important things down the way. I'll need plenty of you in the far off future."

"She's not going to just…"

"I mean free will and all but… I think she will. I mean… arrow. I mean… My band of Cupids do their job pretty well." He puffed out his chest and whispered something to his sister.

Dean took a deep breath and let it out, closed his eyes, then took another. "But this… fixes everything."

"It's a start. I made big changes in the beginning but there was nothing but her and me." Chuck gestured to his sister. "What we're proposing will let her experience it through the narrow window of your soul. It's got to be little things. The human life is a blink but inside it… it's never ending. You can't fathom your own death and you really can't because you've died so many times."

"I'm a narrow window."

"Well, as opposed to her experience everything all at once the way she did when she first came out of the cage."

"What do I have to do?"

"Live your life. There will be trouble but… you'll handle it. You know how."

"But…"

"She's going to be inside you. Locked in. She can't just bolt… so it will be like it was before, when you had the Mark. You'll feel her and she'll react to what's going on. I've never seen her so attached to anyone that wasn't me. You're the one, Dean. I know Sam volunteered but he's got to handle Lucifer because… no one else can. Believe me." Chuck snorted as he laughed.

"You and I, we're alike." Amara reached for his hand. "You… longed for your family the way I longed for mine. So… it's too intense just now and we think that… experiencing your emotions will show me how to handle all of this. Just getting your… specific set of feelings."

"I'm her… therapist?"

"Not so hands on. Just… she'll be in the backseat and sometimes she might make the car rock but… you know… sometimes… the world does need a little cleaning and with the way things are right now… I don't want to go big with a flood or anything… but… a little pruning here and there might make things better. I mean… if it's get bad, real bad… holler. I can drop you in one of the warlord run countries to… well, you can't smite but, it's pretty darn close."

"So, it's already decided."

"Well, no. I mean. Free will. It is your choice but you were willing to die to keep it all spinning. We just… found a way where you don't have to and we've given you all your demands. Those are in place. This is formality."

"What are you going to be doing while she's… in me?"

"I'm going to be… restructuring a few things. I stashed my boys in some folks to do a similar thing. They have some learning to do."

"So, this is temporary."

"Ideally."

"And you're going to be around. If I call for you, you'll show up."

"Yeah… well, see. The way I see it is that um… if you know, then it'll taint the study, as it were. I was thinking." Chuck shrugged and gave Dean a smile. "We would swap some of those memory blocks. So, you wouldn't remember this until we're ready to… release your contract. I'd want you to live your life, experience all the things you'll get to experience with all your family and buddies. You'll see, it'll be great… but it will take time. I mean… no such thing as perfect… even from me."

"Where do I sign?"

"You don't." Chuck put his hand on his sister and gripped Dean's arm. "I do."

* * *

Dean slumped in the backseat. "Jesus Christ."

"I still don't really get why that's the prophet who's like… infamous. I mean. He was pretty awesome but… kind of um… a know-it-all. I really did enjoy his rages but he never really got into the… social aspect. I mean, born leader just… charismatic in the weird culty ways… He never even tried to have an orgy and he had the magnetism to make it happen. He's kind of like your brother. He preferred prostitutes."

"Hey." Sam shook his head.

"What? You do. He did." Chuck nodded. "I'm not judging. I'm just saying. There are plenty of girls out there that you don't have to pay to sleep with you. Even the prostitutes get a little attached."

Sam took a breath and changed the subject. "So, Amara is in Dean and your archangels are inside of other people."

"Lucifer is inside you and that might be why you've been a little standoffish." Chuck made a face. "Sorry."

"It would explain a lot." Dean nodded. "Sam's got Luci, Charlie's got Gabe, Kevin's got Michael and Jo? Has Raphael?"

"Ellen." Chuck nodded. "Jo wasn't… seasoned enough. I needed a mom to have Raph."

"Where are they?"

"Wherever they landed. They opted not to find the two of you and who could blame them exactly. I mean, you did get all four of them killed." Chuck waved his hands around. "Not on purpose but… in the course of helping the two of you… and Sam… I imagine Kevin would have a hard time looking at you."

"What's the plan? You pop this lock off and Amara comes out?"

"See, I figured I might get… antsy… and I can't get the lock off." Chuck winced with a wide smile.

"Ten years without a murder spree. We're two in." Dean nodded to himself. "And what about all your children? When do they go home?"

"When they've learned their lessons. Come on."

"What kind of timeframe is that?" Dean lurched forward.

"Well, Gabriel is ahead of the game… but he's just having so much fun with Charlie and she adores him. That's so rare with Archangels. I kind of just wanted them to have some more fun." Chuck went on. "Michael and Kevin are having a bit of a tug of war but that was to be expected with Michael. He's such a control freak. I almost gave him to Adam but they've shared enough space and Kevin is really coming into his own… especially with how ornery Michael tends to get, Kevin's doing well. Raphael and Ellen have got a good rapport but I think they're leaning on each other a little too much. It's going to be tough to separate them. I feel like… they'd miss each other too much."

"Please say that Lucifer is done." Sam growled.

"Not even close." Chuck laughed. "So, Dean."

"I…" Dean took a breath. "I can take it off. Like… I could this whole time."

"Yeah." Chuck nodded. "You have all the right stuff in your noggin but we did bury pretty deep to make sure you didn't accidentally kick her out too soon. I'm sure she threw some tantrums."

"Yeah, tantrums."

"Come on. Let her out."

"Sam." Dean grabbed the door. They met in the yard. "I am all for letting her out but… if we agreed that we needed time between tantrums…"

"Yeah. I'm thinking Chuck didn't take it lightly… I mean… Ten years does seem like a light sentence for good behavior when the bad behavior was total destruction."

"He's begging me. She's been quiet." He sucked in a breath and let it out. "It feels weird."

"Daddy!" Lou came barreling out of the house. "Mimi and Aunt Claire are fighting!"

"Shit." Dean grabbed Lou and ran in the house. Lisa had Erica in her arms, there was coconut oil everywhere. Mary was huffing in the corner, her hands up. Claire nursed a busted lip. Dean thought he saw a bruise forming on his mother's face. "Y'all good?"

"Fine." Claire ran her tongue around her mouth.

"It was nothing." Mary took a breath.

"Okay. It better be… I got… God, in the driveway, negotiating life changing shit. So… if we could… maintain in here until that's done." Dean hefted Lou up on his hip. "Lis… call my dad."

"Yeah." She nodded. Erica buried her face in her side. "Come on. Let's go wash your hair."

"Claire… come on." Dean nodded. "Mom."

"I'll just clean this up." Mary let out her breath.

Claire shook her head and followed Dean outside. "I'm sorry. She was combing that shit out and she pulled too hard on Erica's head and Erica screamed and… I… I punched her. Then she punched me and… I dropped the scissors before I punched her again."

"Mom can take a punching." Dean turned with Lou and her ruffles hanging off his arm. "I'm surprised this didn't happen sooner. It took three years and that is surprising."

"It's not about your dad. Erica really doesn't like your mom and I keep trying to be friends with her and you know… you gotta listen to your kids."

"Take her and stay here. I gotta get back to negotiations."

"Hi honey." Claire took Lou. "Let's play right here until Daddy gets back."

"See." Chuck motioned through the window. "She's beautiful. She's going to meet a man, hopefully, and churn out some grandkids for you."

"Hey." Dean frowned.

"I know. She could be gay. Free will."

"Dad!" Emma called out.

Dean sighed and rolled down the window, "I know! Help Mimi clean the kitchen."

"Look at that. Assimilated into the human life, looking for her soulmate. She work?"

"Photo lab mornings during the week. She hunts on the weekends." Dean looked to Chuck. "Any other surprises you forgot to tell me about?"

"Oh, I do need some assistance. Joshua and I were going over reports and some of our Cupids haven't been able to have their meet cutes."

"Okay…"

"I need the… um… Sioux Falls group to visit the family."

"What?"

"Just make it happen."

"Okay…" Sam looked to Dean. "I'm a little scared at what supposed to come of that."

"How long until you give me my sister?" Chuck sighed.

"As soon as I remember how." Dean shrugged.

"I'm… you know… Him. So…"

"Well, you buried my memories nice and deep. It could take a while." Dean climbed out of the car. "Stash him… I don't know. Somewhere."

Dean knelt in the yard where Lou was decorating Claire with grass clippings. "You good?"

"I'm sorry Dean. I really didn't mean to hit her."

"You good?"

"Yeah."

"Cause a four year old is burying you in grass."

"It's what four year olds do." Claire sighed. "It's actually pretty calming."

"Okay." Dean charged into the house and found Emma and his mother trying to get the oil to lift from every surface. "Dish soap should do it." He ran the sink with hot water and added the soap. He took their towels to do a quick soak. They got it done before Erica was out of the shower.

Dressed in one of Emma's old sweat suits and hair dripping wet, she leaned on Dean. Dean rubbed her shoulders. "You okay?"

"I didn't mean to scream that loud."

"Oh, so that was on purpose." Dean took a breath. He counted to ten.

"I didn't think Mom was gonna punch her."

"I don't know if you know this, it's not like a secret or anything but your mom… is a badass and she loves you lots and she will murder anyone that hurts you."

"Yeah, I know."

"My mom was helping you get all those burrs out so we didn't have to shave your head."

"I know." Came the weary response.

"You owe at least your mom an apology."

"Hey short stuff." Ben walked in, bringing the scent of fried food with him. "Dad, why is Uncle Sam sitting in his car with a weird dude."

"Hunting stuff." Dean waved him off.

"I'm not short. I'm the tallest girl in my class." Erica made a face at him.

When Dean made it back to the kitchen, Mimi had a glass of wine and a bag of ice to her eye, Claire had a glass of wine and a napkin between her lips. Lisa had a take out menu in her hand. She tilted her head at the way Erica clung to Dean. Finally, Dean had to pry her arms off and prod her towards the table.

Erica looked at her feet. "I'm sorry. I screamed on purpose so Mom would yell at you, Mimi. I didn't know she'd punch you or that you would punch back. I'm sorry."

"You little brat." Claire tugged her over. "You're too old for these shenanigans… and you're too tall for mom's lap. Upstairs. Emma's room until dinner. I want 20 words 20 times. I want big ones, too."

Dean sat next to his mother and she straightened his hair. He shook his head at Claire who was smiling. "Don't."

"You're such a mama's boy." She snickered. Then she sighed when she heard Emma's bedroom hatch slam shut. "I'm going to murder her."

"She's… opinionated." Mary offered. "That's a good trait."

"Manipulative." Claire sipped her wine and dabbed at her lip. "She's not a little girl anymore. Jesus."

"She'll be fine." Lisa joined them with her own glass.

"13… and she's cute." Claire sighed. "I miss the days of her pining endlessly for Ben."

"Daddy." Lou raced into the room. "I love you." And then she was off again, running from room to room to bug Emma and Ben.

"I never get drive by "I love yous."" Lisa commented.

"You're the mom. You make all the rules." Claire sipped her wine. "It's Dad's job to be fun. Thanks Dean, for making her fess up."

"She was acting guilty."

"What was going on outside?" Lisa prompted him.

"God, asking for a favor."

Mary tilted her head at him. "God."

"Yeah. God."

"Is he still out there?"

"I don't know. I told Sam to take him someplace."

"You didn't invite him in?" Mary blinked at him.

"You don't know him like I do. He's being really pushy but… anyway." Dean shrugged. "He'll have to wait."

"You put God… on hold."

"He buried a memory and I've got to wait until it reveals itself." Dean looked at the menu. "Ordering in?"

"I'm not cooking and everyone needs some comfort food." Lisa sniffed the air. "Ben's home?"

"Ran up to take a shower… it just… sort of lingers doesn't it." Dean wrinkled his nose.

"Wherever he goes." Lisa motioned to Dean. He found the room spray and let loose a heavy spray.

"What did God want?" Claire pressed.

"A few things but the only thing I can help with right now is getting the gang together."

"For a hunt?"

"Nope. Just a get together." Dean looked at her. "Where is Dad?"

"I don't know." Lisa blinked at him.

"He's not back from getting ice cream yet?" Dean reached for Lisa's glass. "Maybe he had the right idea."

* * *

TBC


	35. Chapter 34 - The work of lesser beings

Chapter 34 – The work of lesser beings

* * *

Chuck followed Dean around for two weeks. Not asking. Not really talking. Just following and waiting. Day of the party, Sam had relieved himself of Chuck and gone to find a bed to crash on. Jody brought the girls as requested. She and Claire, the elder, formed a clique by themselves. Alex and Claire, the younger, wore thick sunglasses and sat under the tree but insisted they were not hung over. Lou kept busy by filling up a cup with exactly four cubes of ice and taking it out to them, then running back to do it again.

Emma trounced downstairs to join them before taking up kitchen duties with Lisa. Ben showed up with the grandparents. Jody clucked her tongue. "That's not fair."

"It's really not." Claire sighed. "He should be haggard and scarred up but the scars just make it worse."

"She's… young." Jody gaped.

"She died before she was 30 and so… she picked up where she left off. It only looks inappropriately. They're the same age… chronologically."

"Adam!" Dean called him over as soon as he was out the door. "Come help me. Chuck is just… window dressing."

"I don't eat so…" Chuck shrugged. "This doesn't really matter to me."

"Briquettes." Dean pointed to the bag for Adam to help arrange them. "Dad, you want to help man the fire?"

"Sure." John nodded and made a break for it, leaving Mary to scatter her various bowls where she liked.

"Adam, did you meet everyone?" Chuck grabbed Adam's arm once he was within arm's reach.

"What happened to free will, Chuck?" Dean called after him.

"What's he doing?" John looked after them.

"The work of lesser beings." Dean snorted.

Chuck dragged Adam over to Claire and Jody. "Adam, this is Sheriff Jody Mills. Jody, this is Adam."

"We didn't meet." Jody held her hand out for Chuck.

"I'm not important." Chuck barely waited to shake her hand and Adam to do the same before he was tugging Adam along. "Ladies, this is Adam. Adam, this is Claire and Alex."

"Hi." Adam shook their hands. His eyes lingered on Claire. "Which one of you is Castiel's daughter?"

"He's not my dad… he's just wearing my dad's… body." Claire inhaled a breath.

"Your dad still in there?"

"No… he did the big crossover years ago. Castiel just feels super guilty and hangs around… a lot." Claire looked him over. "You the brother that did time in the big down under?"

"Yeah." Adam looked away, squinting into the sun. "Which one of you is the…"

"Vampire bait? That was me." Alex raised her hand. "It true you're riding around on Dorothy's motorcycle?"

"Maybe. You two want to see it?"

"Be careful. Wear a helmet." Chuck told them and wandered his way back to Dean. "I don't know which one he falls for. Maybe it's both? I mean, it secures odds of offspring, I suppose."

"What?" John barked.

"Dad. Don't." Dean shook his head and stoked his fire a bit. "I never thought to hook them up. Alex doesn't really hunt and Claire looks for trouble."

"Adam could do with some trouble, I think. Mischief." Chuck looked to the sky and then to Dean. "So, about my sister."

"Soon as I remember, she's all yours." Dean nodded as he put a tester on the grill to make sure it was hot enough.

"Honey! I made three pies they are not all for you." Mary called over.

"Thanks, Mom!" Dean called back, then zeroed in on Claire and Jody whispering in the shade. "What do you think those two are talking about?"

John looked around the backyard. "Me."

"That's a little vain." Dean commented.

"Well, they keep looking at me and looking at your mother and they're whispering… It's gossip."

"Right."

"Where's Pippi?"

"Ricky's house. They'll drop her off soon." Dean motioned around. "Why don't you get them more drinks? Looks like they're running low."

Chuck muttered to himself while they watched John amble over with a bottle of wine in each hand. Mary brought out the covered plates for Dean. "He behaving himself?"

"Mom, yes."

"Why is she so damned pretty?" Mary sighed. "She's taller than me."

"By like two inches." Dean snorted.

"And your friend Jody is… Did he date many brunettes?"

"Just one. She was a demon." Dean shook his head. "Mom… you've got nothing to worry about."

"It's my fault. I did a little tweaking to make sure he'd attract a number of suitable candidates to carry on the bloodline. He's loyal though. It's one of his stronger suits." Chuck fiddled with a potholder. "Dean, I want my sister."

"Hey, you buried the key. You're going to have to wait until I find it." Dean turned back to his mother. "You know… this… baggage you and Dad have… it's only going to get worse if you can't let some of it go. Trust me… Lisa and I still have our issues but…"

"I know." Mary watched Chuck sulk. "I just… it's hard knowing he's got history that I'm not a part of."

"If he was gonna do it… he'd've done it. It's not Dad's style to carry one with… more than one at a time." Dean took a breath. "He's charming but… he usually knows when to put on the brakes."

"Dean, kiddo!" Jody approached. "That man is dangerous and your mother needs to keep him on a leash."

"I wish." Mary sucked in a breath.

"Hi. Jody Mills, I don't think we were formally introduced." She held her hand out to Chuck.

"Chuck." He nodded and briefly shook her hand.

"Chuck, just Chuck."

"I'm kind of a one-name kind of guy." He shoved his hands in his pockets and stared up at the sky.

"He's adorable, right?" Mary motioned to Chuck.

"Yeah." Jody nodded. Then she turned to Mary. "Your men are a handful and I know it's not your fault but I feel obliged to tell you that women are helpless before them unless they got balls. I got balls, just so you know."

"Women say stuff like that?" Mary made a face.

"You bet we do." Jody looked her over. "I'll get you talking to the girls and you'll see. God…" Chuck turned but looked away as Jody continued. "We figured you'd be ten feet tall and made of steel."

Mary laughed. "Oh yeah?"

"Stories we hear and the way your men behave… And Jesus, please tell me the labor wasn't about to kill you. Sam is just… gigantic."

"Well, he started pretty small." Mary grinned at the house, knowing her kid was in there somewhere. "Runt, actually. Dean was my big boy, just over eight and a half pounds. I thought I was going to die pushing him out."

"Mom." Dean winced away from her. Kept his eye on Claire chatting with John in the shade. "Gross."

"There he was, all pink and fat… and John… was a puddle. I married myself a stoic Marine and he goes all mushy at the sight of this ball of fat. Forgets that I'm practically dying on the table." Mary rubbed Dean's arm and gestured to the house. "Sam, so tiny… just shot right out. Just under six pounds, skinny but he was early a bit… just… wanted to get out."

* * *

It was several bottles, beers and much food later that found Adam and Claire flirting while she and Emma put dozens of braids in Erica's hair. John and Mary shared a bench. Claire, the elder, helped Sam find the food once he was done with his nap. Dean held on tight to a sleeping Lou. Chuck paced around the yard, muttering to himself. Lou was cranky when she woke up. Alex took her for a tour of toys and the yard with the promise of ice cream and pie afterward.

Radio turned up, Erica asked Pop-pop to dance. Jody helped Ben with his dance moves. Claire and Adam wandered off but not before Dean caught Adam and gave him a few low-key warnings. Lisa left Dean to take care of Lou and made Sam dance with her. Mary took over rectifying Lou's hair while she ate her pie and ice cream. She clucked at Dean for not putting Lou in the house for her nap.

Claire watched John with Erica. She was getting so tall but she still only came to his chest. Then it was got late. Claire looked to Dean. He nodded. He went over with Lou and swapped dancing partners. Erica was quiet. "You have fun with Ricky today?"

"I punched him in the nose."

"Why?"

"He popped my bra strap."

"oh." Dean frowned. "You want me to have a talk with him?"

"No. Kelly already did. Kelly told me that sometimes boys did stuff like that but that I shouldn't let them. He made Ricky promise not to do it again." She sighed.

"Isn't Ricky going to high school this year?"

"Yeah."

"You okay?"

"Mom wants to move away."

"I know."

"Don't let her."

"I'm not the boss of you or her."

"Tell Pop-pop not to let her."

"I'm not the boss of Pop-pop and even if I were, he's not the boss of your mom. She's her own boss." They returned to the table. Claire exchanged a look with Dean when her daughter was near tears. He stared back. Then with some swift hand movements, they had a conversation… and a fight without alerting most anyone.

"Honey." Mary touched Dean's shoulder.

"It's nothing, Mom." Dean finished his signs to Claire and she stood to go. Erica trailed after her.

"You're pretty good at the sign language, Dean." Sam commented.

"Sometimes I forget it's in my brain." He breathed out. "Only use it with Claire."

"Where are they moving?" Mary asked softly.

"Don't know yet. This is the longest they've sat still. Ben's grown, Erica's taking care of herself practically… Lisa and Claire don't need to lean so much on each other… especially with you and Dad around to help with Lou."

Sam cleared his throat. "That break up with Kelly was real rough, huh."

"Yeah." Dean nodded. "They really thought it was going to work."

"What happened?" Sam pressed.

"Hunting. He found the sage and the sigils and it got a huge fight going about paganism… he's just a little more… conservative than she figured. They work out playdates like a custody agreement. I'm not even sure how Ricky and Erica play… I mean…"

"Claire was telling me they hit the batting cages and go rollerblading. Lots of active type stuff."

"When did you and Claire talk about it?" Dean frowned.

"I don't know. A while back." Sam shrugged.

Dean stared at his brother. Shifty eyes. "You treat her nice. She is a lady and a damned fine hunter."

"Dean, come on." Sam groaned, flicking his hair out of his face.

"Let your brother eat." Mary shushed Dean.

"Daddy, I'm done." Lou held up her hands. Mary laughed at the dirty little face. Dean shook his head.

Sam laughed. "She eats just like you."

"It's bath time." Dean declared and tucked her under his arm like a football. He marched her into the house and flipped on the light as he went. He froze.

"Daddy… they're kissin'." Lou blurted out.

Adam leaped away from Claire. Dean stared for along moment. "I meant what I said, little brother. I'm taking her upstairs. Go. Outside. Where adults can watch you."

"Yeah, whatever." Claire rolled her eyes and walked out the back door.

Adam sighed heavily. "Man."

"She's been through a lot of shit, man. Just… be good."

Dean hefted Lou in his arms. She waved at Adam. He shook his head at her. "Goodnight Uncle Adam."

"Night, Ousier." Adam booped her nose and watched Dean carry her upstairs. And he got a ringside seat while Mary grilled Sam.

"How often do you talk to Claire?" Mary prodded.

"I don't know. She goes hunting quite a bit lately and we toss stuff around, make sure it's safe enough for her to take Erica." Sam served himself some pie.

"How old is she?"

"I don't know… like ten years older than me. Mom, stop." Sam shoved pie in his mouth so he couldn't talk.

"She's not the one for him." Chuck was suddenly sitting across the table from them.

"Don't. Chuck." Sam bit out.

"I see a man. Tall. Dark hair. Blue eyes." Chuck fidgeting. "And a badge or a star. He's in her future."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Maybe on this next move of hers."

"Okay." Sam nodded.

"What about Sam?" Mary pressed. "Will he give me grandbabies?"

"It's possible." Chuck nodded. "He just needs to get out more. Socialize in a different sort of place."

"You mean where nice girls are."

"Mom." Sam groaned.

Jody sank into a chair. "That kid has moves."

"Hey Mimi," Ben dropped a kiss on Mary's face before reaching over her for pie. "Mom says that I can go to the bunker with you and Pop-pop if you say it's okay."

"It's fine by me. Are you getting time off work?"

"I'm planning to be fired soon."

"What?"

"Don't worry, it's part of a plan. I'll finish out the next week. I'll spend two weeks with you and Pop-pop and then I'll be home for the next mini-mester. It's going to be intense so I need to… get it all out, first."

"What are you going to do at the bunker?" Sam made a face at him.

"Research. Dad says I can't go on any hunts until my shooting improves and I can report on five different monsters' habits and how to kill them. Emma and I have money on this."

"Is Emma coming?"

"No. She's working on getting over that tool and I think she's working on a new girl, though." Ben stood and looked to Dean. He bounced on this toes for a bit. Dean looked around at their little party and jerked his head toward the gate and Ben grabbed Emma and they raced away into the night.

Mary looked Sam over and finger-combed his hair out of his eyes. "You should get a haircut."

"I like my hair like this."

"It hides your wonderful face."

"She's right." Chuck cut in. "Maybe not as short as your brothers but closer in, that might do."

"See. Chuck agrees."

"Listen to your mother." Jody told him. "You could do with more bossing around, you know." She turned to Alex and Claire, eyes lingering on Claire. "Girls, we should head to the motel."

"You know… I was going to hit up… this place… I could bring Claire back after." Adam cleared his throat.

"Some place?" Jody looked at him.

"It's… a bar."

"Alex, you want to go?" Jody turned to her.

"Nah." Alex shook her head.

"Wear a helmet." Jody told them.

"How do you get them to listen to you? I mean… they're both adults." Mary asked.

"Well, I run a tight ship at my house… most of the time." Jody watched Claire and Adam hurry off. "They live rent free while they follow the rules."

"Claire's the trouble maker." Alex told her. "I'm just… trying to get through college."

"She'll make it. She's… made a great turn around." Jody laid her hand on Alex's shoulder.

"What can you do with him?" Mary ran her hand through Sam's hair again.

Jody started laughing and walked off with Alex in tow. "Be good to your mom, Sam!"

"I like her." Mary declared. "We didn't talk much but… I guess that's… a friend Claire got in the divorce."

"Dad never knew Jody. They just met. You know that." Sam looked at his mother.

"Is it weird? Dean thinks it's weird."

"No." Sam shook his head. "You've only been back a few years and you are still getting caught up."

"Tell me something about you? Tell me anything about you, Sam. Women? Men?"

"Women." Sam shook his head at her.

"Tell her about Jess. Or Amelia." Chuck prompted. "Or I could."

"I'll tell her." Sam bit out. "When I'm ready."

"Well, who was first?" Mary rushed to get the question out."

Sam took a breath and served himself some more ice cream before explaining about how he met Jessica. Chuck added color commentary but Sam told the bulk of the story himself. Then he talked about the first girl he kissed after Jess… He glossed over some years in between and explained Amelia.

Chuck packed away food when Lisa brought out containers. Dean returned sans a dirty girl and helped with the clean up. Sam kept talking to his mom with a lot of shrugs. It was easier to talk when Dad started pouring the whiskey. Dean and Lisa listened as Sam talked about Stanford. Chuck asked questions, prompting when Mary's tongue was stolen by tears of relief. She sipped John's whiskey when she thought about it. Her face flushed, she relaxed and not only did she keep touching Sam's hair, she started stroking John's arm.

Anytime Lisa looked at John, he was staring at his wife. She laughed at Sam's version of Dean's adventures. Dean let Sam keep telling the stories because the transformation was mesmerizing and it had taken so long for Sam to get to the place where conversing with their mother wasn't weird. Lisa rather enjoyed some of the stories she hadn't heard yet.

Claire, the elder, rushed through the yard and whispered something in John's ear before slipping something in his jacket. Mary chose not to look. Claire pecked Dean's head and ruffled Chuck's hair on her way back out. Chuck settled happily in his chair and took a glass of beer when it was offered.

The laughter woke Lou. She walked out into the yard barefoot, dragging her blanket. Dean was ready to scoop her up when she walked past but she plowed right into Chuck's chair. Chuck didn't have an option. Lou smashed her face into his chest once she was in his lap. Lisa motioned that she would take her but Chuck uncomfortably shook his head.

Dean listened to Sam talk and talk and talk, and Dean watched his little girl sleeping on God. Then John took Mary home. Sam took Chuck wherever he took Chuck. Dean carried Lou back up the stairs. She slept between her parents. Dean got up when he heard Ben and Emma returning from their night out. He watched them silently from his doorway when they tried to get up the stairs quietly. "You're both drunk, who drove?"

"Dropped off." Ben cleared his throat and straightening up, then tilted to the side. Caught himself on the opposite wall. "We'll pick up the car in the morning."

"It is morning." Emma snickered.

"Not funny. Go to bed." Dean told them and leaned in the doorway until Ben's door shut and Emma's ladder disappeared. He settled back into bed and Lou stuck her sweaty head under his chin. Lisa gripped his arm, her eyes barely slits. "They're both home. Drunk but safe."

"Did they drive?"

"Said they got dropped off."

"Dean…"

"They're just blowing steam." Dean shut his eyes and breathed out. "Ben's going to the bunker in two weeks, Emma's going on a cross country tour on her own. It'll just be the three of us, we can get all those projects done without them mucking up the works. I told Kelly that Ricky could come and help, Erica will help. Claire and Kelly are still talking, I think."

She breathed in deeply and out after a moment but didn't say anything. "I don't think they're going to reconcile. I already made a schedule for them of what days I need Kelly and what days I need Claire… if she stays that long."

"Let's get some sleep."

* * *

Dean watched his mother show off her newly returned to her wedding ring, restored by a friend of Claire's. His father was rubbing at his already. John shrugged. "I knew someone who knew someone who could fix them up for us. They were in a terrible state."

Dean glared at his father. "I kept them safe this whole time."

"Claire!" Lisa shot up from her chair and ran the woman around to talk a few people.

Mary looked to her husband. "She did that for us, huh?"

"Yeah. I've told you. She's good people." John nodded.

"Yeah. They have a good group going… reminds me a little of the family."

"You could tell us what it was like for you growing up in this… we didn't have it the way you did." John motioned to Erica and Emma and Ben trying not to be bored out of their minds.

"Maybe. Someday."

"Claire got her friend to hook me up with a goldsmith." John finally told her.

"Oh."

"Claire's good people, too."

"How did he do it?"

"He melted both rings down and recast them." John explained. "So, your ring has a bit of my old ring as well as yours. Mine has got a bit of your old ring as well as mine."

"I like that… and I saw the protection sigils on the inside. They are lovely."

Chuck walked in and began following Dean around the party. Dean finally turned to him. "This is Claire's send off. Maybe it's something your sister needs to see, to feel."

It didn't stop him. Chuck kept badgering Dean. Sam clapped Emma and Ben on the shoulders. "Underage drinkers… it's been a wild summer but now, you're both mine."

"Dad told you?" Emma groaned.

"Of course he did. You're both coming to the bunker." Sam sighed at Dean's face. "He just wants his sister back."

"I know." Dean gritted out.

"Where are you going?" Mary asked Claire. "Is it far?"

"Yeah. I used to do this when Erica was a little girl, move to a new place. See what good I could do while letting her have a chance to set her feet still. I was thinking California?"

"What are you doing with your house?" Mary frowned. "I thought you owned that?"

"I do." Claire took a breath. "Kelly and Ricky are going to rent it. Lisa and I went through and fixed it out so they don't disturb the protection sigils but… I'd like them to have it." She tilted her head back as she watched people mill around. Book club, yoga. "Dean and Kelly get along and Dean doesn't have that many civilian friends."

"It's hard to balance it." Mary told her. "You do it, well. So, well."

"My mom would have a heart attack if she could see me, now." Claire took a breath. "Dad… I don't know. None of this was his deal. I'm not their daughter anymore. I'm not Sebastien's mother. I'm not that waif Darlene who followed John all over hell and gone… I'm not Caleb's girlfriend… but I am Erica's mother. I don' t know who I am most days but I do know that."

"Good. She's a good girl. My dad would have liked her. He would have loved her." Mary nodded. "I wasn't into the hunt as much as he would have liked. I'm told that Sam took after me."

"Lisa was the first real friend I've ever had. I hate PTA moms. We were a force against the PTA moms."

Mary looked at Claire. "Did John ever tell you about his father… his mother's husband, not his father."

"A bit. When he was deep in it and missing the boys badly." Claire nodded.

"You think he treated my boys the way Jerry treated him?"

"Only to… make them stronger. Not because…" Claire breathed. "John never wanted to raise them this way. He had to."

"You're doing a fine job of Erica. You are. I wish my father had seen things the way you do… but it's steeped in us… generations going back…"

"Dean is good father."

"He is." Mary nodded and let Claire go back to saying her goodbyes to her friends.

* * *

TBC


	36. Chapter 35 - It just seems inevitable

Chapter 35 – It just seems inevitable

* * *

Claire waited with Conrad at the bottom of the hill. She wanted to climb up there but Conrad already had this part down. The waiting. His girls were little older than Erica. 19, twin dark haired beauties. Erica, about to turn 18, blonde hair shining. They met after the move to North California. She'd taken Erica to sign up for some classes. Keep her busy while she sulked about moving. It wasn't like Battle Creek. She had no reason to socialize with the other moms. Then she saw the coach. Striking blue eyes and dark hair and hollering at some girls while making motions to a pair of twins as they flipped and turned and glanced for more instruction.

The juniors coach was a little different. Claire didn't like him. She approached the dark haired coach. "This isn't juniors work."

"No, it's not." He answered without taking his eyes off the twins who were still at it.

"My girl is not used to such… lax material in the junior level. Will you take a look, move her up?"

"I saw her. She's good." He finally turned to her. Those blue eyes looking her over. "Hunter?"

Claire blinked at him but didn't otherwise show her hand. "Sometimes."

"You do, does she?"

"Sometimes." Claire grinned. "Claire Reid."

"Conrad Caldwell." He shook her hand. "My girls hunt but not on their own. We do this to tire them out so they don't get themselves killed doing what other kids do."

"I let her take down a werewolf this summer." Claire bragged.

"You help?"

"Just with the prep."

"I'll train her. You tumble?" He turned to face her.

"Not in years."

"You should join us. I still tumble."

"Caldwell?" Claire tilted her head at that.

"Family name. We don't sell laughing gas, though." His smile was screwed up. Old family joke that she didn't understand until later.

His girls were fierce. They'd had to be. Their mother was gone, taken by a leviathan. Caldwell had picked up books his family had long put down. Claire joined them and after a bit Erica did, too. She liked Conrad. Called him Pop, the second he let her.

"Pop. That's a strange affectation." Conrad stared after the girl as she bounded away. "Why Pop?"

"It's a compliment. Ask her about Pop-pop sometime." Claire shook her head. "Your girls call you Pa."

"Hold over from the old days of the wild west." He joked. His walkie went off and he jumped up to take it outside.

Claire listened while he instructed his team. Private security. Good cover for a hunter. Good connections. The right connections when you were caught in a graveyard late at night. Even better when the contract for cemetery security fell into the right hands. The logo of his company was on everything. A star, outlined so that it could be a pentagram if tilted the right way. All of his employees were protected by simply wearing their uniforms.

Now, all three girls were grown and going after a vetala. Nasty thing but alone. Conrad had nearly burst a vein when Claire had consulted Sam and then Dean. Then he was relieved when she told him they always hunted in pairs and then they confirmed this one was indeed alone.

Conrad looked at his watch. Claire hefted herself up onto the tailgate. He leaned and stroked her leg. "You ever going to marry me?"

"Haven't decided yet."

"Come on."

"I got one kid to finish high school."

"Really?" His blue eyes sparkled at her, mouth screwed up.

She grabbed his face and kissed him. "Really."

"Do we have to wait?"

"She already calls you Pop and believe me that's a high compliment from her." Claire took his shoulders in her hands. "I love you. You know that. A piece of paper is not going to change that."

"Maybe not but I feel like I don't get to keep you."

"You do. I promise." She kissed him again. "I have never loved anyone as much as I love you… I'm just a little broken but you're doing a good job of putting me back together."

"I'm covered in Vetala guts and you guys are more disgusting." Opal Caldwell sneered at them.

"Seriously." Emerald Caldwell had the same expression on her face… with less blood on her face.

"What they said." Erica flipped a thick braid over her shoulder.

Conrad started laughing. "What happened to Opal?"

"I was the bait. Remember?"

"Come on. Hose bath and into the back of the truck."

"You're not going to ask if we burned it?" Erica jumped into the truck bed.

"I can smell it. I don't have to ask." Conrad kissed her face, then Emerald's then blew a kiss at Opal while he cranked the pump.

"I hate you."

"I know." Conrad waited until Claire had a blanket ready. "Here it comes."

Opal shrieked when the water hit her. Soon as it stopped, she stripped out of her overclothes and jumped into the blanket. The other girls huddled with her on the drive back home. At the house, the girls jumped out to get showered and sleep. Claire and Conrad unloaded the truck and a PTA mom paused during her powerwalk. She held them up for ten minutes with small talk about preliminatries and eliminations. Claire accidentally offended the woman and Conrad laughed all the way upstairs. She shut the garage door and followed him up. Shower. Bed… Bed.

The girls were already dead asleep. Conrad talked Claire into some water conservation before they hit the hay. They woke in time for stretches, changes and to rush to the gym. Claire watched from the stadium while Conrad paced the floor and shouted at the team. Erica and his girls never needed shouting. It was the hand signals and they were good. But Erica lost her balance a couple of times, recovered but she knew the judges had seen it. Opal placed as an alternate. Emerald didn't but Claire thought maybe she was only still competing because of Conrad. Erica placed just after the alternates… so, not at all. Claire spent the after exchanging texts with Dean, while the girls walked the floor and got their things together. They didn't like socializing with the other girls. That had been a long conversation about eating disorders, the other girls thinking they were weird and sabotage.

They went to dinner at a steakhouse. The girls demolished rib-eyes and potatoes, the look on their faces when the waitress asked about salads had been pure gold. The poor girl had almost run away. Conrad ate his fill and sat back, started talking. He did that sometimes. Talked about his time overseas before he met their mother. He talked about his unit, how they worked. How he'd never in a thousand years would have guessed that he'd teach his daughters to do the same. Bragged on the type of people he hired and how he could spot the diamonds in the rough. He reminded Claire a bit of her father.

Claire waited a while to bring up business. The girls wanted cake and after a competition, Conrad let them. Then Claire sipped her tea and looked to Erica first. "Dean Winchester would like our assistance with something big."

"Did something happen?" Erica sat up.

"He's about to do something and he'd like back up. I've kept in touch the last few years and he knows that we're training you three. This would… be a once in a lifetime type of situation and he feels strongly that we need to see it… or kill him if it goes wrong."

"What exactly is he doing?" Conrad stared at her.

* * *

Claire got them loaded up in the car. She and Erica took turns driving. Conrad wanted to stop halfway but the Reids wanted to push through. They arrived late and Dean texted they could stay in her old house. Ben had been living in it since Kelly moved out and Ben could always sleep on the couch. She missed this house. The girls took over Erica's old room. The bunk beds were still there. Erica hauled an air mattress up so the twins could have the bunks. Claire and Conrad were still settling in when the front door banged open and footsteps came up the stairs. Claire took her gun to the door but set it down when she recognized Ben Braedan stumbling up the last few steps. "Young man, you're drunk."

"I wasn't driving." He sighed. "You're here." He rubbed at the back of his neck as he glanced at the closed door to Erica's old room. "I'll crash downstairs."

"See you in the morning, kid." She told him before he waved her off. He almost slid back down the stairs. She took a breath and turned to Conrad. "Just Ben, he'll be between any monster and your girls."

* * *

Claire woke up and made coffee and enjoyed the early morning in silence before everyone started waking up. She left a note and walked to Lisa's. Lisa and Dean were up with their coffee. She hugged them and they chatted for a bit before Lou bounded through the room… on her hands.

"Hey, feet on the floor, we have a guest." Dean swatted her with a napkin.

"Hi." Lou popped up.

"You're so big." Claire cooed over her for a moment. "Bet you don't even remember me."

"You're Erica's mom."

"Yeah, that's me."

"Go get your family. Dean and I were about to start a mean breakfast train." Lisa told her. "I want to see Erica… Birthday was yesterday?"

"Yeah."

"And you spent it driving? I'm sorry." Dean shook his head.

"No, she loved it. She was excited to come back." She sighed. "I have an adult on my hands."

"How did the other two take it?" Lisa asked as she started gathering ingredients.

"They grumbled but they're good girls. They like hunting. It was really lucky meeting Conrad and his girls." Claire smiled down at the ring on her finger. She refused to answer his question but she'd taken it anyway. "They're all probably still asleep."

"What time did Ben stagger in?" Dean cleared his throat.

"Two?" Claire shook her head at his face. "You, sir, can throw exactly zero stones."

"I know."

"He's trying." Lisa patted Dean's head when he got up for more coffee. "Dean and Ben have been butting heads lately."

"That why he moved out?"

"Yeah. Sometimes Emma goes over there to make sure he's eating."

"Where is Emma?"

"On her way. She was tracking down a stray chupacabra and found it late last night."

"Dean take over." Lisa motioned. She tugged Claire with her out the door and they walked slowly back to Claire's house. "Dean and Ben… it's… they're so much alike and… Ben was excited at first… to know his dad and then it started coming back to him all the times he missed having a dad. He thinks Emma is the favorite. I tell him that Emma is… special circumstances. Poor Lou… she's… just starting to understand all the differences between her and Emma and we still have a little bit of time before she figures the rest out. Dean's going crazy."

"Is he hunting?"

"No… less and less. He'll go supervise a hunt for the kids but they do all the research and heavy lifting."

They walked in and Ben was snoring. Lisa nudged him. "Ben, wake up."

"Hey." Conrad walked in with a cup of coffee in his hand. "Where'd you go?"

"Checked in." She kissed his mouth and turn. "Conrad Caldwell, this is Lisa Braedan and Ben, her son."

"Nice to meet you." Lisa shook his hand and went back to nudging Ben awake. "Come on. I need you showered and at the house. Brush your teeth and gargle, I don't want your dad to smell the booze on your breath."

"Girls up?" Claire straightened Conrad's shirt.

"Barely conscious. I told them they had 20 minutes to make a decision on breakfast or they were going without."

"I want to see my girl." Lisa moved to the staircase. "Erica!"

It took about five minutes before Erica came staggering down the stairs to drape herself over Lisa. "Hi."

"You're so tall. Look at you." Lisa took a deep breath and looked her over. "I can't believe that when you left you were awkward and pimply."

"Lisa." Erica whined.

"You're so grown up. I heard you had a qualifier."

"If the teammate's alternate's alternate's alternate can't make it, I'm in. but one of those is Opal so… I'm not hoping too hard."

"Hope." Conrad told her. "Truth be told, as proud as I would be… I don't want to go to the Olympics. Other countries hate us and I can't really pass for anything but American."

"You could pass for Welsh." Lisa told him.

"Thanks." He sighed. "Go on. Go get ready. We're hungry."

"I'll be back." Erica ran back up the stairs. "If Dean is cooking, don't leave me behind. Opal! Emerald! Get your asses up!"

"We have three high school graduates." Claire turned to Conrad. "Three."

"And they all need jobs and to get out of my house." He crossed his arms. "I mean… eventually."

"Eventually." Claire sighed. "We did a good job. We could kick them out."

"Do, kick them out." Ben shoved himself up from the couch. "Before the fighting starts."

"Would you stop? He loves you and he cares what happens to you." Lisa breathed in. "Go shower."

"Come here." Claire stood him up. "You look good. You're eating at least… or you still having Mom cook all your meals?" He shrugged. "Well, it's good to see you. I missed you. Give me a hug."

He gave her a smile and gave her a squeeze. Then he held his hand out to Conrad. "Good to finally meet you."

"Oh, so you do talk to your friends about me." Conrad looked to his girlfriend.

"I do."

"She still hasn't said yes?" Lisa sighed. "She will, eventually."

"You might have to wait on the shower, sweetie. Three girls."

"Right." Ben looked around. "Well, I guess I can brush my teeth in the kitchen."

"Hey, Mom!" Erica bounded back down, hair wet and dressed. "Is Pop-pop in town?"

"Erica?" Ben stared

"Hey." She waved. "Is he?"

"Supposed to be by later." Ben nodded to her.

"Yes!" Erica ran back up the steps.

"She hasn't seen him at all, has she." Lisa looked to Claire.

"No… and as much grief as she gave him when we were together… she never stops talking about him."

"Never." Conrad confirmed. "She was a little cold to me when she realized we were together but she warmed up once she realized I hunted, too."

"That girl." Lisa nudged Ben. "Go wash up."

"Yeah. Yeah."

* * *

Claire let the parade to Lisa's. The girls moved in unison. It was always a little unnerving but Conrad had drummed that rhythm into them. The three of them in a row was sometimes a little funny. Three identical hairstyles, brunette, blonde, brunette. The twins always kept Erica in the middle. Then Erica saw John pulling up to the house and went running.

Hugs all around and then the group moved into the house where Dean was setting a stack of paper plates on the dining room table. Sam had put most of the food out so they could self serve. Dean goggled when he saw Erica. More hugs. Dean grilled Conrad over a stack of bacon. Opal and Emerald made eyes at Sam. Sam took his plate to another room. Adam crashed into the table, winked at the girls and kept moving. Erica told John all about the Vetala hunt. Mary listened, fascinated. Lou moved from dining room to kitchen carrying messages and stealing bacon.

Then Chuck arrived with his entourage. It was way more people than anyone had planned on being there. It was tense when Ellen and Jo greeted John. Charlie and Dean hugged so long, Lisa almost asked if she was really a lesbian. Kevin and Sam regarded each other from a distance.

Chuck stood in the middle of the yard. Sam passed out machetes and angel blades. The yard was ringed with hunters. Just the few in the middle. Dean, Chuck, Sam, Charlie, Ellen and Kevin.

Claire stared around the yard. She had Erica by her side. Conrad flanked by his girls. Jo, they spoke briefly, standing near John and Mary. Ben, Adam and Claire, the younger, all together. All ready. All waiting.

Chuck touched Ellen first and her chest looked like it was trying to escape the rest of her body. Then she was panting and kneeling on the ground and a being emerged briefly before it disappeared. Then Charlie was next. That went a little easier. Charlie waved before her Angel was gone. Kevin was next. Chuck struggled a bit getting Michael out of there. Then Sam. Lucifer kicked up a fuss just because he could. Sam was panting and aching when he hit his knees and the brilliant light shot up out of the yard.

Then it was just Dean and Chuck. Dean said some words, pressed his thumb to the mark and his pores began to leak darkness. Dean all but disappeared from sight.

Hunters all gripped their weapons. Four strangers walked into the yard and formed a little circle between the hunters and the event in the middle of the yard.

Then she was there. She looked around the yard. "You don't trust me."

"There's trust and then there's… well." Chuck shrugged. "I've waited a long time for this."

"Where to?"

"Anywhere."

"Do we take them with us?"

"No. They're going to keep an eye on things until we get back." Chuck looked to his children. "There had better be a planet when I get back."

"Who's in charge?" One asked.

"Castiel."

"What?" All four spat out.

"He's at least tried to keep my vision intact. Go. Off with you. Report in." Chuck took Amara's hand. Amara stared at Dean. Dean stared back. Amara looked around the yard. "Amara. Please."

"They all know I could destroy them but they are all here, ready to fight."

"That's what family does." Dean told her.

"I will miss our time, Dean."

"You got your own family to be with."

"We may never meet again."

"Maybe."

Then they turned into an inky darkness and a blinding light and then they were gone. The Angels walked out. It took the family a minute to realize it was over. It was just Dean standing in the middle of the yard staring at his arm. Everyone got tested. Then folks grouped off to catch up.

* * *

Dean hugged Ellen tightly. She whispered reassuring things in his ear. Kevin shook his hand and awkwardly exchanged a few words with Sam. Jo took a walk with Sam to compare notes. Dean dragged Ellen and Charlie around to meet everyone. Dean found Emma chatting with Conrad and his girls. "Emma, this is Charlie."

"Hi!" Emma immediately hugged her.

"Wow." Charlie's eyes widened. "Hi."

"Sorry. I'm a hugger. Dad's told me so much about you. You're… kind of my hero."

"Are you a big nerd?" Charlie grinned.

"No…" Emma took a breath. "I'm bisexual and it really freaked me out but Dad kept telling me about you and how awesome you were… are. Dad's still a little weird about the girls I bring home but he's cool."

"Look at you, progressive Dean the Dad."

"Actually, it's the boys you bring home that freak me out." Dean took a breath. "Ellen, this is Emma."

"Hi. Let me look at you." Ellen made her turn around. "This one is your spitting image. I saw the boy and he looks like you but… this one… just like you."

"Emma and I are going to take a walk, Dean." Charlie told him. "I think you're in high demand today."

* * *

Claire leaned on the house and watched people dart from one side to the other to catch up with some dead friend or another. John leaned next to her after a while. "I met Conrad. That's a name right there."

"Family name."

"What's the last name?"

"Caldwell."

"I know that name."

"Figured you would."

"He… new hunter or grew up in it?"

"His family used to do it and he knew about it but…"

"Lost his wife?"

"Yeah." She nodded.

"Wouldn't happen to be related to the Caldwells that married into the Colts." John kept watching him and his daughters look around helplessly as their hosts were scattered about.

"Samuel Colt is in that family. He doesn't really like to talk about it."

"He good to you?"

"He wants to marry me." Claire shook her head. "Think I'm too jaded to want it anymore and that's not your fault. Had a lot of men in my life aside from you."

"Think you will?"

"Maybe when the girls are on their own. I just feel like… now's not the time."

"You see Ben looking at your girl?"

"I saw." Claire laughed. "She's not even registering it. Look at her. She's meeting all the people Dean's told her stories about. Who is that she's talking to now? Kevin, I think?"

"Emma looks like she's in heaven." John nodded.

"Where's Lou?"

"Inside, I suppose. Dean didn't let her come outside for this. She was supposed to stay in her room until it was over. I don't think anyone ran up to grab her."

"Who is that woman you were talking to? I think your wife was about to punch her in the face."

"Ellen… I got her husband killed way back when I was too green to know better and too arrogant to get it. She let me have it and I earned that. Mary backed off when Ellen got to the meat of it." Then Ben caught his eye again. He laughed. "You okay with the boy drooling on your girl like that?"

"She's been trying to nail him down since she met him. Let him sweat a while." Claire shook her head. "I'm going to go save my man from that aneurysm he's about to have."

* * *

Adam was surrounded by young women. He started to look nervous. Claire ushered her future stepdaughters back to their father. Jo cooed over him. "If I had known there was a Winchester who wasn't crazy…"

"He's not a Winchester." Claire corrected Jo. "Hi, I'm Claire. Where's your girlfriend, Adam?"

"I think she went inside. Too much… Winchester out here." Adam shrugged.

"Go on. Get inside. Send Lou out here to join the fun."

"You're a hunter?" Jo asked.

"Yeah."

"You look… a little… to be a hunter." She tilted her head at her. "Too… put together."

"John taught me everything I know."

"Well, then. You're a hunter." Jo strolled off.

Claire rejoined Conrad. "You want to go get lunch?"

"Yeah… and don't think we won't talk about your ex."

"Let's not." She took his arm. "Let's leave Erica and pretend we're not hunters for an hour."

* * *

Kevin sat with Lisa and Lou. Lisa watched him fiddle with a napkin and pick at cold breakfast. "You okay?"

"Yeah… I just… spent the last few years with an Archangel in my head and staying away from everything I've known. I'm not a prophet anymore and my mom…" Kevin shook his head. "I haven't talked to real people in a long time. I worry about her."

"You could go to her, now."

"Maybe." Kevin nodded.

"Can I go outside?" Lou pleaded.

Dean walked in and kissed his girlfriend and his child. "Kevin, man…"

"I know I said no hard feelings but… I was in heaven man." Kevin took a deep breath and shot to his feet.

"You're not done. There's no prophecies, no wars with angels or demons… your mom is still around." Dean looked at him. "I'm sorry but I just… didn't… you're family."

"I know." Kevin nodded. "Michael is such a dick, though."

"Charlie said she was working on some stuff… figured you might want to help. She'll set you up with a new identity… for your mom, too."

"Maybe." Kevin nodded. "We talked a bit about it on the way here."

* * *

John listened to Jo's stories and couldn't help but feel guilty. "Your dad would be proud."

"I tell her all the time." Ellen nodded.

"This is so strange." Jo laughed nervously. "We've spent all this time… just laying low and doing small time hunts and now… we can do whatever we want."

"It's hard." Mary told them. "I spent a year… drifting and then… there's Sam and John and Dean's got three kids."

"Well, I'm sure chasing John takes up a lot of your time. I always thought he needed a babysitter." Ellen smacked John's arm. "How did you adjust?"

"Poorly." John shook his head. "That tall blonde over there was supposed to keep me busy. She ran off and I chased her all over the countryside. She was nine and gave me a run for my money. We found Emma over there. I learned I was not equipped for girl children. Then I learned I'm a horrible boyfriend. We found Mary and I… almost messed that up."

"No, you didn't." Mary told him. "I didn't help by being a jealous harpy."

"It all worked out. I got my wife, my boys, grandkids. Adam's got a girl, looks like that will make the long haul. Sam is celibate." John sighed when Mary snorted. "Well, he's staying away from steady."

"So, that's Dean's wife and that's Adam's girlfriend and that… is…" Ellen sighed.

"That's Claire's daughter. She left with her man and his kids. They were just here to increase our numbers… just in case."

"Who is Claire?" Ellen looked to John.

"His ex." Mary filled in. "The reason I'm a jealous harpy."

"I thought you didn't have time for women." Ellen blinked at John.

"That didn't happen until the boys were grown. And it was just for a while after we came back. It doesn't work and we should've known better. I'm happy. I got my wife."

"I'll leave it be." Ellen sighed. "Dean's… so different."

"You should have seen it when I got back. He's different from then. That was a scary side of him I never knew he had."

* * *

Charlie looked around the house. "This is nice, Dean. So much better than the bunker."

"Yeah." Dean nodded. "What are you going to do?"

"What I do. I run around and solve injustice by tapping the keys of my laptop." She shrugged. "You know your son… so weird by the way. Is following around a barely legal?"

"Yeah." Dean nodded. "She'll make him wait. Payback."

"Emma's sweet. A little too sweet. She was telling me about her mom and their… tribe. So weird to hear that word in the 21st century but I guess that's… Amazons. Wow." Charlie picked up a picture of Dean and Lou off a shelf. "This little one is so adorable. Almost makes me want kids."

"Don't do it. It's horrible." Dean made a face at his daughter, doing her rounds of the house on her hands again. "I can't keep her feet on the ground."

"Good." Charlie smiled. "Emma wants to go to Oz with me."

"What?"

"Just for a little while."

"Is Kevin going?"

"I think so. We… he wants to spend time with his mother but… he's tired of running and Oz is peaceful and… I could put them up in an… effortless position or two."

"I mean… whatever you want to do but…" Dean found Emma with her head tilted in the kitchen… listening in. "I guess there are worse places for her to be."

"Daddy." Lou popped up and jumped on his lap. "Can I go to Becky's house?"

"A lot people here and you haven't met them all."

"It's so boring." She flopped into a death pose.

"I like her." Charlie looked at the little girl.

"Go find your mom." Dean let her fall to the floor.

"Ow." She faked the noise and popped back up. "Ben's being gross."

"I know."

"Erica's my friend."

"She's an adult. I'm plenty sure she's friends with lots of people."

"Dad." She groaned.

"Go shake hands with everyone, come back and tell me all of their names and then you can go."

"I really like her." Charlie pointed to Lou as she ran off.

* * *

Claire sank into the bed and stared at her ring. Erica flopped across the end. "You should marry him already."

"Soon." Claire nodded to her. "Well, how do you like being back?"

"Everyone's different."

"So are you."

She shut her eyes and then opened her eyes to stare at the ceiling. "Ben's different."

"Yeah."

"He looks at me weird."

"Oh yeah?" Claire chuckled.

"What?" Erica sat up.

Conrad kicked his shoes off and pulled off his shirt. He swatted Erica. "He's looking at you."

"Yeah, weird." She blinked at him when he laughed. "What?"

"He likes you." Conrad climbed onto the bed. "And not because he knew you when you were a little girl. You're an adult now and he sees that."

"No, he doesn't." Erica slid her eyes over to her mother. "He's too old anyway."

"I'm not the one to make arguments about too old." Claire shrugged. "John was easily 10 years older than me."

"Just ten." Conrad snorted.

"Well, he is now. Or he was in '98. It's confusing but yes, he's a lot older than me." Claire shook her head.

"Lisa is older than Dean… but it's just a couple of years." Erica mused.

"Adam is older than Claire… technically… probably the same number of years, too."

"Really?" Erica stared at her fingernails.

"You dated that coach for the competition. He was older." Conrad pointed out.

"We didn't really… date."

"I know you didn't but you almost gave me a heart attack and I'm going with the word "date."" Conrad told her.

"He is sleeping on the couch and you are sleeping in your old room with your sisters." Claire told her.

"Ugh. You're so paranoid." She slinked off the bed.

"We were not paranoid about that coach!" Conrad called after her. They heard the twins giggling from down the hall. "Nothing you girls have schemed is new! Mom and I know all!" More giggles. "No respect."

"Ben and Erica were hit by a Cupid early on." Claire told Conrad. "I've known it was going to go this way for a long time."

"Weird." Conrad huffed. "Cupid? A. As in… there are… several?"

"I guess. I only met the one."

* * *

"Jo and I have been holed up, teaching Raphael lessons about mothers and daughters, patience type hunts. Drifting has no appeal… but people." Ellen shrugged at John and Mary.

"Sam offered us rooms at the bunker." Jo told her mother.

"You sure it wasn't that he offered you his room?" Ellen looked back at her.

"Shut up."

"I thought you hated Sam."

"He… he wasn't the one who strung me up. That was a demon." Jo shrugged.

Mary grabbed John's arm. John laughed. Ellen saw the move and had to grin. "Though, if we got a grandkid out of the deal, who am I to say a word?"

"What? No. Shut up. I'm leaving." Jo got up to find someone else to talk to.

* * *

Claire, the younger, leaned on Adam and shrugged at Dean. "Jody met some dude at one of those sheriff's conferences. Alex fell for that guy's son and she's moving to Minneapolis. Jody dumped the dude. Said he was way too normal. Sheriff Donna comes sometimes and they go out together. Donna's kind of funny when you get used to her yokel talk."

"She still with Doug #2?"

"Yeah. She's a good wingwoman, though. Jody has a lot of fun with her." Claire nodded.

"Sam told me that you two were moving out."

"Yes." Claire nodded. "It was one thing when we were just starting out, Sam was a good tie breaker but sometimes… we don't want to research. It's took to have a 15 minute drive between hunts and home, you know?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"I told Dad we were leaving like 20 minutes ago." Adam cut in.

"Right." Claire nodded. She looked at Dean. "Have you seen Castiel?"

"No. He's been upstairs and now I think I know why." Dean took a breath. "He'll be better this time."

* * *

Lisa and Claire spent an evening catching up, just the two of them. They talked about the Ben and Erica romance as it was humorous as neither one knew how to behave around each other. Claire talked about Opal and Emerald and how they were likely to disappear if they didn't keep them close. They loved their father but he was overbearing and it was too late to pull back. Lisa talked about Lou and her new habit of hand-walking everywhere. Ben's drinking had gotten bad but she'd hardly seen him touch a drop since Erica had arrived. Dean seemed relieved. Lisa talked about how estranged she'd become from her sister and how their mother, as annoying and manipulative as she'd been, had been the glue. Claire mused about Conrad's ties to Sam Colt. Lisa was quiet. "It just seems… inevitable."

"I know."

"Conrad's been hinting, heavily." Lisa pointed out and gestured with her right ring finger.

"Yes… the girls are all graduated and Erica wants to come back, obviously. The twins are halfway out the door. It's time. He wants to go to Niagara and I would like to see Hawaii."

"Erica calls Conrad "Pop."" Lisa prompted.

"Yeah. Says he doesn't deserve to be named twice."

"She's a scamp."

"Who is going to run away and romance your son and probably give us grandbabies." Claire laughed.

"God and Emma's going to Oz. When Dean told me, I threw a fit… but I guess she needs to see the world and without Amazons hanging around."

"How's John?"

"Good. He and Mary finally found their stride together. I can empathize." Lisa nodded. "It took a lot of soul searching for me to be okay with Dean being around again and with my memories… and… I almost threw in the towel a few times but he begged. Dean begged and I caved because I didn't really want to do it alone and now… I… I can't wake up without him beside me. I watched them and… John was still reeling from finding out she was alive and she'd had some time to adjust before seeing him. She was ready… and ready to fight for him." Lisa took a breath. "I guess things weren't perfect when she was alive and she was trying to make sure she didn't lose him."

"And he was trying to make sure he was being fair."

"Yeah."

"Jody and I are going on a ladies' weekend, soon. You should come. Donna, I think is coming, too. I've always wanted to meet her."

"Me, too."

* * *

Dean nudged Sam as they watched a game. Drinking beer slowly. "Jo?"

"Jo." Sam sighed. "I never thought… ever."

"Older women are awesome."

"She's not older than me… not anymore." Sam took a breath. "Ellen and Jo just want to see the bunker… I'm not… planning anything."

"We all saw it. Both of you deserve something good."

"Ellen will be there… not like… anyway."

"Ellen said she's seeing a woman near where they were holed up… she might not be going back to the bunker with you guys." Dean smacked his brother. "Come with me. I'm getting a tattoo."

"Why? Don't we have enough ink?"

"I don't want Crowley finding out I don't have the mark."

"You think?"

"I think he probably has some fine print I didn't read."

* * *

TBC


	37. The end

The End

* * *

Lisa had to sit down when she got the news. Erica standing over her, fuming and crying. "Pop said there was a bunch of signs. They were going to check it out. Mom said it was the honeymoon they forgot to take… just roaming around, hunting stuff and being free from children."

Dean sucked in a breath. "Where were they?"

"Wyoming. Pop wanted to check out the train tracks. Cause of Colt." She bit her lip, hard.

"Sweetie, sit." Ben tried to tug her down but Erica stayed on her feet.

"What was it?" Dean prompted.

"Demon. Sulfur everywhere." Erica wiped at her eyes. "Opal and Emerald are already on the case and… they've never seen what demons can do. They're scared… I'm scared."

"I'll be back." Dean walked out of the bunker stood outside for a long moment. "Henri."

"It's been a long time, Dean."

"You were right." Henri told him. "If Ben killed Crowley, something had to happen to someone."

"We had a pact. She was on my list. Crowley and I had a deal."

"Fine print. You specified names. Surnames." The Reaper cleared his throat. "She took his name."

"She married him and changed her name." Dean shut his eyes. "Does this do it? Correct the balance or whatever?"

"That is the plan."

"Then we just… live like people when he's gone."

"Well, you'll live like hunters."

"Is he back?"

"Not quite."

"Does killing Crowley bring him back?" Dean turned to face Henri.

"In a manner of speaking."

"So, it has to be done."

"It's a necessary cycle. Humans go to hell and become demons. We need hunters to cull the demons. We need reasons for hunters to be."

* * *

Sam found Dean long after Henri had gone. They sat in the car and didn't say anything for a long time. Dean fiddled with the steering wheel. "It's not fair. I… our family put that bull's eye on her."

"No… she was already in demonic sights." Sam shook his head.

"She just got married."

"Two years ago and they'd been together for six."

"It's not fair."

"No, it's not… but… that's life." Sam pointed out. "I know how close you and Lisa are… were to Claire and I started to really see what it was that made you and Dad make her family."

"Shut up."

"I'm going to miss her. I want… Crowley to pay but… Dean… this fight… it's for Erica."

"She's never going to meet her grandkids." Dean swiped a hand over his face. "She shouldn't have changed her name."

"We didn't know, Dean. We didn't. She changed her name because she loved him. I'm glad she got to have him."

"He was her soulmate. She finally got to have that. It's not fair."

"Maybe they're sharing a heaven, Dean."

* * *

It was a long while later that John found them. "Erica's inconsolable. Ben can't load guns fast enough for her. She's destroyed about seven dummies already."

Time went still. John in the backseat, Sam in the passenger seat. Dean saw him in the rearview mirror. Henri was back. Dean stared at him, hard. "Demons have no respect for order. Chaos is the name of their game." Dean nodded that he understood that. He looked down at his fake Mark. "I know what this means for you. It's the way it should be."

"He's got an entourage of hunters that are going to follow him to his dying day." Dean declared.

"You're right." Henri nodded. "Erica is going to chase him. She's going to have her new husband by her side to avenge her mother. Conrad's girls are going to join in to avenge their father… and you've got your fake mark to keep Crowley to his word on everyone else."

"Is the big guy really back?" Dean asked.

"He will be soon. I think reaping Crowley will go a long way to restoring him."

Then he was gone and John got out of the car. Dean followed suit and opened the trunk. He started checking the weapons and soon enough, everyone was standing around him, around Baby and her arsenal. Erica stepped up to Dean and took the shotgun. "I've never hunted anything this big."

"We have." Dean told her. Lisa and Lou were still crying. Erica's eyes were dry and red and mean. "We'll help. We all will."

"What's the plan?" John pulled Mary close.

"First things, first. Get the twins on the line. I want them still until we can get to them." Dean took a breath and looked to his brother. "Everyone gets tattoos, even the children. We take over old Campbell homesteads, we find the Colt homesteads. We get Emma back from Oz. We need Ellen."

"Dad…" Ben started.

"I know. I guessed." Dean looked at Erica. "You got a little one coming into the world, we don't put you at undue risk. I need Adam and Claire back in the fold. I need change of name forms for anyone who needs the umbrella of our protection."

"Boys." Mary took a breath. "We've got work to do."

* * *

The END


End file.
